Thursday, June 25, 2009

Famous Quotes from the American Revolution

Nathan Hale said: "I regret that I have but one (noun) to give to my (noun)."
William Prescott said: "Don't fire until you see the (color) of their (part of the body, plural)."
Patrick Henry said: "Give me liberty or give me (noun)."
Paul Revere said: "The (plural noun) are (verb ending in ING)!"
John Hancock said: "I wrote my (noun) large so the king could read it without his (plural noun)."
Thomas Jefferson said: "All (plural noun) are created equal. They are endowed by their Creator with certain (adjective) rights and among these are life, liberty, and the pursuit of (noun)."

Klin said...
Nathan Hale said: "I regret that I have but one pile of paper to give to my photo shoot."
William Prescott said: "Don't fire until you see the fuschia of their ears."
Patrick Henry said: "Give me liberty or give me squeaky chairs."
Paul Revere said: "The beach towels are squealing!"
John Hancock said: "I wrote my Texas large so the king could read it without his bags of cheetos."
Thomas Jefferson said: "All cities are created equal. They are endowed by their Creator with certain last of all the game rights and among these are life, liberty, and the pursuit of sleep-over."

Lazy Lion said:
Nathan Hale said: "I regret that I have but one Harry Potter to give to my John."
William Prescott said: "Don't fire until you see the blue of their legs."
Patrick Henry said: "Give me liberty or give me WalMart."
Paul Revere said: "The fishes are running!"
John Hancock said: "I wrote my RuPaul impersonator large so the king could read it without his cats."
Thomas Jefferson said: "All dogs are created equal. They are endowed by their Creator with certain big rights and among these are life, liberty, and the pursuit of the little ugly mollusk."

Koda Bear said...
Nathan Hale said: "I regret that I have but one chicken to give to my McDonalds."
William Prescott said: "Don't fire until you see the red of their eyes."
Patrick Henry said: "Give me liberty or give me copper."
Paul Revere said: "The tigers are jumping!"
John Hancock said: "I wrote my skateboard large so the king could read it without his bears."
Thomas Jefferson said: "All lions are created equal. They are endowed by their Creator with certain funny rights and among these are life, liberty, and the pursuit of a realistic fishhead."

Frog said...
Nathan Hale said: "I regret that I have but one phone to give to my boy."
William Prescott said: "Don't fire until you see the pink of their lungs."
Patrick Henry said: "Give me liberty or give me football."
Paul Revere said: "The cities are kissing!"
John Hancock said: "I wrote my house large so the king could read it without his vehicles."
Thomas Jefferson said: "All pens are created equal. They are endowed by their Creator with certain sweet rights and among these are life, liberty, and the pursuit of laundry."

Klin numero dos said...
Nathan Hale said: "I regret that I have but one green toenail polish to give to my rain."
William Prescott said: "Don't fire until you see the chartreuse of their ankle bones."
Patrick Henry said: "Give me liberty or give me car wash."
Paul Revere said: "The hills are ruining!"
John Hancock said: "I wrote my Edward large so the king could read it without his rocks."
Thomas Jefferson said: "All smiles are created equal. They are endowed by their Creator with certain sopping wet rights and among these are life, liberty, and the pursuit of Jacob."

Thorny Tree Lady said...
Nathan Hale said: "I regret that I have but one UPS truck to give to my Route 44 Strawberry Slush from Sonic."
William Prescott said: "Don't fire until you see the banana yellow of their wisdom teeth."
Patrick Henry said: "Give me liberty or give me the glorious invention known as Air Conditioning."
Paul Revere said: "The dull hair-cutting scissors are philosophising!"
John Hancock said: "I wrote my sink full of Dirty Dishes large so the king could read it without his maggots."
Thomas Jefferson said: "All Olive Garden Gift Cards are created equal. They are endowed by their Creator with certain jump in the lake rights and among these are life, liberty, and the pursuit of the recently-free-from-that-nagging-narcissist-of-a-wife Jon Gosselin."

FluffyChicky said...
Nathan Hale said: "I regret that I have but one defective push-up bra to give to my beatnik poetry soiree."
William Prescott said: "Don't fire until you see the pea-green of their chubby big toes."
Patrick Henry said: "Give me liberty or give me tasty toenail pie."
Paul Revere said: "The pilfered office chairs are bloodsucking!"
John Hancock said: "I wrote my goose-stepping nun large so the king could read it without his senior citizens afflicted with irritable bowel syndrome."
Thomas Jefferson said: "All obese Elvis impersonators are created equal. They are endowed by their Creator with certain waspish rights and among these are life, liberty, and the pursuit of overly-large back zit."

Millie said...
William Prescott said: "Don't fire until you see the silver of their nerve endings."
Patrick Henry said: "Give me liberty or give me Crapperware bowls."
Paul Revere said: "The cats with pants are walking around like crackheads!"
John Hancock said: "I wrote my AAA card large so the king could read it without his weird hair dye jobs."
Thomas Jefferson said: "All people who pee on trees even if they're just in the backyard are created equal. They are endowed by their Creator with certain crud-covered rights and among these are life, liberty, and the pursuit of upper lip stench."

1 comment:

Klin said...

"The beach towels are squealing!" Indeed they are. They are screaming "take me to California!"

Things I do NOT want to see:
the silver of their nerve endings.
the banana yellow of their wisdom teeth
the banana yellow of their wisdom teeth
the pink of their lungs.

If given this choice "Give me liberty or give me WalMart." I'll take liberty- hands down. Does anyone see the irony in this like I do?