If you're looking for a place to spend a/an (adjective) honeymoon, think of (adjective) Mexico. There, under a brilliant, (adjective) sky, you and your (adjective) bride can spend hours inspecting the quaint (plural noun) and the ancient Aztec (plural noun). You will be fascinated by the (adjective) customs of the natives. In the evening, you can retire to the local (noun) which is what the Mexicans call their "(noun)", and watch the famous (noun) dance called the "(noun)". Hotels there have all (adjective) conveniences, including (adjective) water, (adjective) air conditioning, and (adjective) service. The rates are also very (adjective). In a few days, you and your bride will be lolling on the (noun), just like the (adjective) natives.
Millie said...
If you're looking for a place to spend a nonplussed honeymoon, think of roadkill-roasting Mexico. There, under a brilliant, puce sky, you and your scurrilous bride can spend hours inspecting the quaint escaped salamanders and the ancient Aztec Twix wrappers. You will be fascinated by the "Zippadee-ay"-shouting customs of the natives. In the evening, you can retire to the local possessed pacemaker which is what the Mexicans call their "ruler-wielding nun," and watch the famous foast pork dance called the "fruit-filled donut." Hotels there have all narwhalish conveniences, including armpit-hair-sporting water, frantically-looking-for-a-restroom air conditioning, and Church nursery-scented service. The rates are also very not so fresh. In a few days, you and your bride will be lolling on the surrey with the fringe on top, just like the slapped often natives.
Heffalump said...
If you're looking for a place to spend a black and white honeymoon, think of scream-inducing Mexico. There, under a brilliant, chocolate-spattered sky, you and your feeling-like-someone-is-watching bride can spend hours inspecting the quaint eye-pecking birds and the ancient Aztec Michael Jackson's backup dancers from the Thriller video. You will be fascinated by the gore-covered customs of the natives. In the evening, you can retire to the local victim which is what the Mexicans call their "rusty surgical tool," and watch the famous cemetery dance called the "mental patient." Hotels there have all spine-tingling conveniences, including zombie-like water, smells-like-a-fresh-grave air conditioning, and rotting service. The rates are also very chainsaw-wielding. In a few days, you and your bride will be lolling on the secret room under the stairs, just like the stupid-enough-to-walk-into-the-dark-basement-alone natives.
Friday, June 25, 2010
Friday, June 18, 2010
Description of Wedding
The (adjective) wedding yesterday afternoon between (adjective) (name of woman) and her groom, (name of man), was carried off (adverb). The bride wore a long (adjective) (noun) with (adjective) edging and a/an (adjective) neckline. At the end of the (adjective) ceremony, there wasn't a dry (noun) in the place. Later, at the reception, the bride's mother said, "The groom is a/an (adjective) man, just the kind of (noun) we wanted for our (adjective) daughter." The (adjective) couple left midst a flurry of (adjective) congratulations, to spend a/an (adjective) honeymoon visiting (plural noun) in (geographical location). They are sure to live (adverb) for many years.
Millie said...
The elbow-licking wedding yesterday afternoon between unbounded Hedwig and her groom, Mortimer, was carried off obscenely. The bride wore a long white and nerdy flibbertigibbet with weight loss-obsessed edging and a footsie-playing neckline. At the end of the crusty-eyed ceremony, there wasn't a dry barf particle in the place. Later, at the reception, the bride's mother said, "The groom is a short fat and slutty man, just the kind of abused pencil we wanted for our melodramatic daughter." The holiday-Jello-loving couple left midst a flurry of impatient congratulations, to spend a scary beyond all reason honeymoon visiting magpies in Steroid City. They are sure to live toe-tappingly for many years.
Klin said...
The itchy wedding yesterday afternoon between long-winded Nedra Bean and her groom, Llewlyn Brown, was carried off threateningly. The bride wore a long multi-colored homemade macaroni & cheese with numerical edging and a lazy neckline. At the end of the rough ceremony, there wasn't a dry headache in the place. Later, at the reception, the bride's mother said, "The groom is an organized man, just the kind of bike helmet we wanted for our fluffy-ish daughter." The creepy couple left midst a flurry of salted & roasted congratulations, to spend a misshapen honeymoon visiting potato chip crumbs in Pascagula, Mississippi. They are sure to live pretzel-resemblingly for many years.
Heffalump said...
The teal and silver wedding yesterday afternoon between sleeveless Carrie and her groom, Chuck, was carried off popularly. The bride wore a long sequined punch bowl with formal edging and a modest neckline. At the end of the empire waisted ceremony, there wasn't a dry tiara in the place. Later, at the reception, the bride's mother said, "The groom is a color coordinated man, just the kind of tuxedo we wanted for our theme songed daughter." The night-of-the-living-dead couple left midst a flurry of decorated by cheerleaders congratulations, to spend a disco ball-inspired honeymoon visiting committee members in the Ballroom of a cruise ship, somewhere in the Bermuda Triangle. They are sure to live tearfully for many years.
Millie said...
The elbow-licking wedding yesterday afternoon between unbounded Hedwig and her groom, Mortimer, was carried off obscenely. The bride wore a long white and nerdy flibbertigibbet with weight loss-obsessed edging and a footsie-playing neckline. At the end of the crusty-eyed ceremony, there wasn't a dry barf particle in the place. Later, at the reception, the bride's mother said, "The groom is a short fat and slutty man, just the kind of abused pencil we wanted for our melodramatic daughter." The holiday-Jello-loving couple left midst a flurry of impatient congratulations, to spend a scary beyond all reason honeymoon visiting magpies in Steroid City. They are sure to live toe-tappingly for many years.
Klin said...
The itchy wedding yesterday afternoon between long-winded Nedra Bean and her groom, Llewlyn Brown, was carried off threateningly. The bride wore a long multi-colored homemade macaroni & cheese with numerical edging and a lazy neckline. At the end of the rough ceremony, there wasn't a dry headache in the place. Later, at the reception, the bride's mother said, "The groom is an organized man, just the kind of bike helmet we wanted for our fluffy-ish daughter." The creepy couple left midst a flurry of salted & roasted congratulations, to spend a misshapen honeymoon visiting potato chip crumbs in Pascagula, Mississippi. They are sure to live pretzel-resemblingly for many years.
Heffalump said...
The teal and silver wedding yesterday afternoon between sleeveless Carrie and her groom, Chuck, was carried off popularly. The bride wore a long sequined punch bowl with formal edging and a modest neckline. At the end of the empire waisted ceremony, there wasn't a dry tiara in the place. Later, at the reception, the bride's mother said, "The groom is a color coordinated man, just the kind of tuxedo we wanted for our theme songed daughter." The night-of-the-living-dead couple left midst a flurry of decorated by cheerleaders congratulations, to spend a disco ball-inspired honeymoon visiting committee members in the Ballroom of a cruise ship, somewhere in the Bermuda Triangle. They are sure to live tearfully for many years.
Friday, June 11, 2010
Army Information
The birthday of the United States Army is June 14.
If you plan on joining the army, here are some (adjective) hints that will help you become a/an (adjective) soldier. The army is made up of officers, non-coms, and (plural noun). You can recognize an officer by the (plural noun) on his shoulders and the (noun) on his cap. When you address an officer, always say "(noun)" and salute (adverb). If you get a/an (adjective) haircut, keep your (plural noun) shined, and see that your (noun) is clean at all times, you will be a credit to the slogan, "The Army Builds (plural noun)." And at roll call, when the (adjective) sergeant calls your name, shout "(Exclamation)!" loud and clear. Also, become familiar with basic weapons such as the thirty-calibre (noun) and the automatic (noun). Follow this advice and in no time you'll win the (adjective) Conduct (noun).
Millie said...
If you plan on joining the army, here are some halfway there hints that will help you become a marshmallow-goo-covered soldier. The army is made up of officers, non-coms, and sheet-shorters. You can recognize an officer by the armpit-farters on his shoulders and the hide-a-bed on his cap. When you address an officer, always say "grilled chicken breast" and salute frothingly. If you get a spoiled rotten haircut, keep your cranky old women shined, and see that your spanked and screaming child is clean at all times, you will be a credit to the slogan, "The Army Builds Twinkle Toes." And at roll call, when the dirty-toed sergeant calls your name, shout "Shut up you pinhead! You make me SICK!" loud and clear. Also, become familiar with basic weapons such as the thirty-calibre butt shrub and the automatic black licorice ice cream. Follow this advice and in no time you'll win the Keeled-Over-Dead Conduct Ancient M&M found under the loveseat.
Klin said...
If you plan on joining the army, here are some grated hints that will help you become a cooked soldier. The army is made up of officers, non-coms, and enchiladas. You can recognize an officer by the suitcases on his shoulders and the detour on his cap. When you address an officer, always say "sick and tired" and salute foolishly. If you get a salty haircut, keep your camping trips shined, and see that your weather station is clean at all times, you will be a credit to the slogan, "The Army Builds Flip-Flops." And at roll call, when the medicated sergeant calls your name, shout "STOP YOU FOOL!" loud and clear. Also, become familiar with basic weapons such as the thirty-calibre snow creature and the automatic ancient Chinese man. Follow this advice and in no time you'll win the Folded Conduct Calculator.
Heffalump said...
If you plan on joining the army, here are some gaseous hints that will help you become an interplanetary soldier. The army is made up of officers, non-coms, and rockets. You can recognize an officer by the aliens on his shoulders and the UFO on his cap. When you address an officer, always say "ray gun" and salute gravitationally. If you get a nebulous haircut, keep your abductees shined, and see that your Area 51 is clean at all times, you will be a credit to the slogan, "The Army Builds Government Conspiracies." And at roll call, when the experimental sergeant calls your name, shout "Take me to your leader!" loud and clear. Also, become familiar with basic weapons such as the thirty-calibre probe and the automatic little green man. Follow this advice and in no time you'll win the Glowing Conduct Tractor Beam.
If you plan on joining the army, here are some (adjective) hints that will help you become a/an (adjective) soldier. The army is made up of officers, non-coms, and (plural noun). You can recognize an officer by the (plural noun) on his shoulders and the (noun) on his cap. When you address an officer, always say "(noun)" and salute (adverb). If you get a/an (adjective) haircut, keep your (plural noun) shined, and see that your (noun) is clean at all times, you will be a credit to the slogan, "The Army Builds (plural noun)." And at roll call, when the (adjective) sergeant calls your name, shout "(Exclamation)!" loud and clear. Also, become familiar with basic weapons such as the thirty-calibre (noun) and the automatic (noun). Follow this advice and in no time you'll win the (adjective) Conduct (noun).
Millie said...
If you plan on joining the army, here are some halfway there hints that will help you become a marshmallow-goo-covered soldier. The army is made up of officers, non-coms, and sheet-shorters. You can recognize an officer by the armpit-farters on his shoulders and the hide-a-bed on his cap. When you address an officer, always say "grilled chicken breast" and salute frothingly. If you get a spoiled rotten haircut, keep your cranky old women shined, and see that your spanked and screaming child is clean at all times, you will be a credit to the slogan, "The Army Builds Twinkle Toes." And at roll call, when the dirty-toed sergeant calls your name, shout "Shut up you pinhead! You make me SICK!" loud and clear. Also, become familiar with basic weapons such as the thirty-calibre butt shrub and the automatic black licorice ice cream. Follow this advice and in no time you'll win the Keeled-Over-Dead Conduct Ancient M&M found under the loveseat.
Klin said...
If you plan on joining the army, here are some grated hints that will help you become a cooked soldier. The army is made up of officers, non-coms, and enchiladas. You can recognize an officer by the suitcases on his shoulders and the detour on his cap. When you address an officer, always say "sick and tired" and salute foolishly. If you get a salty haircut, keep your camping trips shined, and see that your weather station is clean at all times, you will be a credit to the slogan, "The Army Builds Flip-Flops." And at roll call, when the medicated sergeant calls your name, shout "STOP YOU FOOL!" loud and clear. Also, become familiar with basic weapons such as the thirty-calibre snow creature and the automatic ancient Chinese man. Follow this advice and in no time you'll win the Folded Conduct Calculator.
Heffalump said...
If you plan on joining the army, here are some gaseous hints that will help you become an interplanetary soldier. The army is made up of officers, non-coms, and rockets. You can recognize an officer by the aliens on his shoulders and the UFO on his cap. When you address an officer, always say "ray gun" and salute gravitationally. If you get a nebulous haircut, keep your abductees shined, and see that your Area 51 is clean at all times, you will be a credit to the slogan, "The Army Builds Government Conspiracies." And at roll call, when the experimental sergeant calls your name, shout "Take me to your leader!" loud and clear. Also, become familiar with basic weapons such as the thirty-calibre probe and the automatic little green man. Follow this advice and in no time you'll win the Glowing Conduct Tractor Beam.
Saturday, June 5, 2010
Bird Watching and Vice Versa
Bird watching can be more fun than a barrel of (plural noun). Our (adjective) feathered friends are everywhere, waiting to be watched. An interesting bird to start with is the (adjective) oriole, which builds its nest in (noun) trees. Early in spring we hear the oriole give its mating call, which sounds like this: "(funny noise)." Then the male and female get together and (verb). Later, the female lays (number) eggs. Isn't that (adjective)? Another fascinating bird is the (adjective)-breasted nuthatch. The nuthatch is very tame. He will fly down and land right on your (noun), and eat out of your (plural noun). Other birds to watch out for are the red-crested (noun), the (adjective)-necked thrush, and the yellow-bellied (adjective) sucker. Now that you know something about birds - get out there and watch!
Heffalump said...
Bird watching can be more fun than a barrel of pigs in blankets. Our syrup-covered feathered friends are everywhere, waiting to be watched. An interesting bird to start with is the sugar sprinkled oriole, which builds its nest in pancake trees. Early in spring we hear the oriole give its mating call, which sounds like this: "Aaaoooooga!" Then the male and female get together and flip. Later, the female lays 13 eggs. Isn't that well done? Another fascinating bird is the over easy-breasted nuthatch. The nuthatch is very tame. He will fly down and land right on your waffle, and eat out of your bacon strips. Other birds to watch out for are the red-crested fried egg, the special-necked thrush, and the yellow-bellied browned sucker. Now that you know something about birds - get out there and watch!
Millie said...
Bird watching can be more fun than a barrel of panic attacks. Our girlfriend-hiding feathered friends are everywhere, waiting to be watched. An interesting bird to start with is the dimpled oriole, which builds its nest in dial-a-cat trees. Early in spring we hear the oriole give its mating call, which sounds like this: "spelunk." Then the male and female get together and drop-kick. Later, the female lays 276 eggs. Isn't that constipated on macaroni? Another fascinating bird is the rancid-breasted nuthatch. The nuthatch is very tame. He will fly down and land right on your dipwad, and eat out of your gift baskets. Other birds to watch out for are the red-crested loaded for bear, the tuna-sniffing-necked thrush, and the yellow-bellied fat sucker. Now that you know something about birds - get out there and watch!
Heffalump said...
Bird watching can be more fun than a barrel of pigs in blankets. Our syrup-covered feathered friends are everywhere, waiting to be watched. An interesting bird to start with is the sugar sprinkled oriole, which builds its nest in pancake trees. Early in spring we hear the oriole give its mating call, which sounds like this: "Aaaoooooga!" Then the male and female get together and flip. Later, the female lays 13 eggs. Isn't that well done? Another fascinating bird is the over easy-breasted nuthatch. The nuthatch is very tame. He will fly down and land right on your waffle, and eat out of your bacon strips. Other birds to watch out for are the red-crested fried egg, the special-necked thrush, and the yellow-bellied browned sucker. Now that you know something about birds - get out there and watch!
Millie said...
Bird watching can be more fun than a barrel of panic attacks. Our girlfriend-hiding feathered friends are everywhere, waiting to be watched. An interesting bird to start with is the dimpled oriole, which builds its nest in dial-a-cat trees. Early in spring we hear the oriole give its mating call, which sounds like this: "spelunk." Then the male and female get together and drop-kick. Later, the female lays 276 eggs. Isn't that constipated on macaroni? Another fascinating bird is the rancid-breasted nuthatch. The nuthatch is very tame. He will fly down and land right on your dipwad, and eat out of your gift baskets. Other birds to watch out for are the red-crested loaded for bear, the tuna-sniffing-necked thrush, and the yellow-bellied fat sucker. Now that you know something about birds - get out there and watch!
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