Happy Halloween!
NARRATOR: Our scene is in a/an (adjective) high school in (name of town). The students are (adjective) with fear. Listen as our heroine, (girl in room), speaks to (boy in room).
GIRL: The High School Monster has eaten three more pretty young (plural noun) and boiled the (noun) teacher.
BOY: Don't be afraid, (pet name). I think the monster is really just a (noun).
GIRL: But (a person) saw it. It has (a number) arms and long (adjective) hair and (a color) teeth.
BOY: Hmm. That sounds like (someone in room).
GIRL: When I go out I walk very (adverb).
BOY: I am going to set a trap for this so-called monster. And you must be the (adjective) bait.
GIRL: Oh no! Do I look (adjective)? Get some other (noun).
Millie said...
NARRATOR: Our scene is in a hysterically shrieking high school in Happy Valley. The students are pillow-fluffing with fear. Listen as our heroine, Maude, speaks to Spanky.
GIRL: The High School Monster has eaten three more pretty young footsie-players and boiled the African violet teacher.
BOY: Don't be afraid, Wanton Slut. I think the monster is really just a sacred pair of Fiskars.
GIRL: But Teddy Piggywink saw it. It has 38 arms and long, high on s'mores hair and puke orange teeth.
BOY: Hmm. That sounds like the Naughty Sensei.
GIRL: When I go out I walk very toe-curlingly.
BOY: I am going to set a trap for this so-called monster. And you must be the look-away ugly bait.
GIRL: Oh no! Do I look flannel-sheeted? Get some other crazy cat lady.
Klin said...
NARRATOR: Our scene is in a nutty high school in Midway. The students are frigid with fear. Listen as our heroine, Mrs. Monkeybutt, speaks to Sir Pounce a Lot.
GIRL: The High School Monster has eaten three more pretty young Calvin & Hobbes books and boiled the pumpkin bread teacher.
BOY: Don't be afraid, Sugar Lips. I think the monster is really just Jolly Old St Nicholas.
GIRL: But Mel Gibson saw it. It has 45 arms and long creamy hair and orange teeth.
BOY: Hmm. That sounds like Monkey Wrench.
GIRL: When I go out I walk very disgustingly.
BOY: I am going to set a trap for this so-called monster. And you must be the comfortable bait.
GIRL: Oh no! Do I look crazy? Get some other stuffed turkey.
Heffalump said... (sorry heff, I had a crazy week)
NARRATOR: Our scene is in a side-splitting high school in Idiotville. The students are hair-pulling with fear. Listen as our heroine, Joanie, speaks to Chachi.
GIRL: The High School Monster has eaten three more pretty young motorcycles and boiled the headcheese teacher.
BOY: Don't be afraid, love muffin. I think the monster is really just Almond Roca.
GIRL: But The Fonz saw it. It has 2.7 arms and long pencil-necked hair and black teeth.
BOY: Hmm. That sounds like Pinky Tuscadero.
GIRL: When I go out I walk very casually.
BOY: I am going to set a trap for this so-called monster. And you must be the tawdry bait.
GIRL: Oh no! Do I look petulant? Get some other big red barn.
Friday, October 29, 2010
Friday, October 22, 2010
Political Speech
Ladies and gentlemen, on this (adjective) occasion it is a privilege to address such a/an (adjective)-looking group of (plural noun). I can tell from your smiling (plural noun) that you will support my (adjective) program in the coming election. I promise that, if elected, there will be a/an (noun) in every (noun) and two (plural noun) in every garage.
I want to warn you against my opponent, Mr. (name of person in room). This man is nothing but a/an (adjective) (noun). He has a/an (adjective) character and is working (noun) in glove with the criminal element. If elected, I promise to eliminate vice. I will keep the (plural noun) off the city's streets. I will keep crooks from dipping their (plural noun) in the public till. I promise you (adjective) government, (adjective) taxes, and (adjective) schools.
Millie said...
Ladies and gentlemen, on this intent-on-mayhem occasion it is a privilege to address such a buff but stupid-looking group of IKEA line-cutters. I can tell from your smiling dental appointments that you will support my grandma-scented program in the coming election. I promise that, if elected, there will be a loose tooth in every cheese puff and two dipwads in every garage.
I want to warn you against my opponent, Mr. Myrthilda. This man is nothing but a fish-eye-giving, angry raccoon. He has a feather-covered character and is working errant hangnail in glove with the criminal element. If elected, I promise to eliminate vice. I will keep the Ben Stiller movies off the city's streets. I will keep crooks from dipping their kitty whiskers in the public till. I promise you cranky at everything government, reluctant taxes, and anxious schools.
Heffalump said...
Ladies and gentlemen, on this law-abiding occasion it is a privilege to address such a claim-jumping-looking group of raging hippos. I can tell from your smiling spelunkers that you will support my moldy program in the coming election. I promise that, if elected, there will be a licorice whip in every goat cheese and two stale french fries in every garage.
I want to warn you against my opponent, Mr. Spongebob. This man is nothing but a magenta Karate Master. He has a glittery character and is working jumbo prawn in glove with the criminal element. If elected, I promise to eliminate vice. I will keep the doll houses off the city's streets. I will keep crooks from dipping their tuna sandwiches in the public till. I promise you spider-webbed government, hefty taxes, and springy schools.
I want to warn you against my opponent, Mr. (name of person in room). This man is nothing but a/an (adjective) (noun). He has a/an (adjective) character and is working (noun) in glove with the criminal element. If elected, I promise to eliminate vice. I will keep the (plural noun) off the city's streets. I will keep crooks from dipping their (plural noun) in the public till. I promise you (adjective) government, (adjective) taxes, and (adjective) schools.
Millie said...
Ladies and gentlemen, on this intent-on-mayhem occasion it is a privilege to address such a buff but stupid-looking group of IKEA line-cutters. I can tell from your smiling dental appointments that you will support my grandma-scented program in the coming election. I promise that, if elected, there will be a loose tooth in every cheese puff and two dipwads in every garage.
I want to warn you against my opponent, Mr. Myrthilda. This man is nothing but a fish-eye-giving, angry raccoon. He has a feather-covered character and is working errant hangnail in glove with the criminal element. If elected, I promise to eliminate vice. I will keep the Ben Stiller movies off the city's streets. I will keep crooks from dipping their kitty whiskers in the public till. I promise you cranky at everything government, reluctant taxes, and anxious schools.
Heffalump said...
Ladies and gentlemen, on this law-abiding occasion it is a privilege to address such a claim-jumping-looking group of raging hippos. I can tell from your smiling spelunkers that you will support my moldy program in the coming election. I promise that, if elected, there will be a licorice whip in every goat cheese and two stale french fries in every garage.
I want to warn you against my opponent, Mr. Spongebob. This man is nothing but a magenta Karate Master. He has a glittery character and is working jumbo prawn in glove with the criminal element. If elected, I promise to eliminate vice. I will keep the doll houses off the city's streets. I will keep crooks from dipping their tuna sandwiches in the public till. I promise you spider-webbed government, hefty taxes, and springy schools.
Friday, October 15, 2010
Police Call
Calling all cars… calling all cars! Be on the lookout for (name of man in room). He is wearing a/an (adjective) suit, a gray (noun), and carrying an old brown (noun). He was last seen in the vicinity of (a place) waving a loaded (noun). He is charged with holding up a candy store and running off with the owner’s (noun). He is also accused of stealing a 1955 (noun) and a/an (adjective) (noun). It is advisable to approach this man with (adjective) caution as he has been known to carry a loaded (a weapon). He uses the alias “Henry the (noun)" and has been known to disguise himself as a/an (noun). Watch out for this (adjective) criminal. That is all.
Klin said...
Calling all cars… calling all cars! Be on the lookout for Griselda Broomhandle. She is wearing a flowered suit, a gray non-functioning fridge, and carrying an old brown burning candle. She was last seen in the vicinity of a bed and breakfast suite waving a loaded shiny car. She is charged with holding up a candy store and running off with the owner’s spiffy tux. She is also accused of stealing a 1955 no ice-ice maker and lighted fast food. It is advisable to approach this woman with later than heck caution as she has been known to carry a loaded minute gun. She uses the alias “Henry the Fishy Smell" and has been known to disguise herself as a PB&J. Watch out for this broken criminal. That is all.
Millie said...
Calling all cars… calling all cars! Be on the lookout for Oliver Clothesoff. He is wearing a hip-swaying suit, a gray ugly pair of pants, and carrying an old brown vampire slayer. He was last seen in the vicinity of Dresden waving a loaded Gatorade bottle. He is charged with holding up a candy store and running off with the owner’s half-chewed pig ear. He is also accused of stealing a 1955 squatter and a vernix-coated harmonica player. It is advisable to approach this man with cantankerous caution as he has been known to carry a loaded abusive boyfriend. He uses the alias “Henry the Anxious Old Lady Passenger" and has been known to disguise himself as a wipeout. Watch out for this slippy criminal. That is all.
Heffalump said...
Calling all cars… calling all cars! Be on the lookout for Pedro. He is wearing a swoon-worthy suit, a gray land of milk and honey, and carrying an old brown pea pod. He was last seen in the vicinity of the Circle K waving a loaded alien abductee. He is charged with holding up a candy store and running off with the owner’s bowl of soggy cereal. He is also accused of stealing a 1955 yippy dog and a myopic old spice. It is advisable to approach this man with hygienically correct caution as he has been known to carry loaded nunchuks. He uses the alias “Henry the Pediatric Nurse" and has been known to disguise himself as a tortured artist. Watch out for this metaphoric criminal. That is all.
Klin said...
Calling all cars… calling all cars! Be on the lookout for Griselda Broomhandle. She is wearing a flowered suit, a gray non-functioning fridge, and carrying an old brown burning candle. She was last seen in the vicinity of a bed and breakfast suite waving a loaded shiny car. She is charged with holding up a candy store and running off with the owner’s spiffy tux. She is also accused of stealing a 1955 no ice-ice maker and lighted fast food. It is advisable to approach this woman with later than heck caution as she has been known to carry a loaded minute gun. She uses the alias “Henry the Fishy Smell" and has been known to disguise herself as a PB&J. Watch out for this broken criminal. That is all.
Millie said...
Calling all cars… calling all cars! Be on the lookout for Oliver Clothesoff. He is wearing a hip-swaying suit, a gray ugly pair of pants, and carrying an old brown vampire slayer. He was last seen in the vicinity of Dresden waving a loaded Gatorade bottle. He is charged with holding up a candy store and running off with the owner’s half-chewed pig ear. He is also accused of stealing a 1955 squatter and a vernix-coated harmonica player. It is advisable to approach this man with cantankerous caution as he has been known to carry a loaded abusive boyfriend. He uses the alias “Henry the Anxious Old Lady Passenger" and has been known to disguise himself as a wipeout. Watch out for this slippy criminal. That is all.
Heffalump said...
Calling all cars… calling all cars! Be on the lookout for Pedro. He is wearing a swoon-worthy suit, a gray land of milk and honey, and carrying an old brown pea pod. He was last seen in the vicinity of the Circle K waving a loaded alien abductee. He is charged with holding up a candy store and running off with the owner’s bowl of soggy cereal. He is also accused of stealing a 1955 yippy dog and a myopic old spice. It is advisable to approach this man with hygienically correct caution as he has been known to carry loaded nunchuks. He uses the alias “Henry the Pediatric Nurse" and has been known to disguise himself as a tortured artist. Watch out for this metaphoric criminal. That is all.
Friday, October 8, 2010
Description of a Horror TV Show
Last week, I saw a television show that really gave me (an animal) pimples! It starred (a person) as a mad (an occupation) who discovers a way to make bedbugs fourteen feet high! The scientist has a goofy assistant, played by (a person), who gets mad because the scientist keeps hitting him on the head with a/an (noun). So he lets the bedbugs loose. Right away they start to eat up (a place). The army tries to stop them by spraying them with (a liquid) but that doesn't bother those (adjective) bedbugs. They go right on and eat up Chicago. Then the army drops an atom (noun) on them and this kills all of them except one super bedbug who grabs the (adjective) scientist and jumps into a volcano. And then the goofy assistant takes off his disguise and says, "I was only a/an (noun) for the F.B.I.," and he marries the scientist's beautiful (noun), who is played by (a person), and they live (adverb) ever after.
Millie said...
Last week, I saw a television show that really gave me kiwi pimples! It starred Frank N. Furter as a mad chimney sweep who discovers a way to make bedbugs fourteen feet high! The scientist has a goofy assistant, played by Sitch U. Ation, who gets mad because the scientist keeps hitting him on the head with a paste-eater. So he lets the bedbugs loose. Right away they start to eat up Xanadu. The army tries to stop them by spraying them with Kool-Aid but that doesn't bother those perplexed by Riverdance bedbugs. They go right on and eat up Chicago. Then the army drops an atom fossilized booger on them and this kills all of them except one super bedbug who grabs the chocolate-dipped scientist and jumps into a volcano. And then the goofy assistant takes off his disguise and says, "I was only a battle axe for the F.B.I.," and he marries the scientist's beautiful disapproving glance, who is played by Daisy Jane, and they live prancingly ever after.
Heffalump said...
Last week, I saw a television show that really gave me albino ape pimples! It starred Larry as a mad veterinary dentist who discovers a way to make bedbugs fourteen feet high! The scientist has a goofy assistant, played by Curly, who gets mad because the scientist keeps hitting him on the head with hot apple cider. So he lets the bedbugs loose. Right away they start to eat up Farmer Bill's Corn Maze. The army tries to stop them by spraying them with squid ink but that doesn't bother those squishy bedbugs. They go right on and eat up Chicago. Then the army drops an atom donut hole on them and this kills all of them except one super bedbug who grabs the filled to bloating scientist and jumps into a volcano. And then the goofy assistant takes off his disguise and says, "I was only a Pygmie bunny for the F.B.I.," and he marries the scientist's beautiful Ewok, who is played by Moe, and they live flatulently ever after.
Gina said... (Welcome!)
Last week, I saw a television show that really gave me elephant pimples! It starred Madonna as a mad teacher who discovers a way to make bedbugs fourteen feet high! The scientist has a goofy assistant, played by Matthew McConaughey, who gets mad because the scientist keeps hitting him on the head with a dumbbell. So he lets the bedbugs loose. Right away they start to eat up Disneyland. The army tries to stop them by spraying them with milk but that doesn't bother those freakin’ bedbugs. They go right on and eat up Chicago. Then the army drops an atom purse on them and this kills all of them except one super bedbug who grabs the goofy scientist and jumps into a volcano. And then the goofy assistant takes off his disguise and says, "I was only a satellite for the F.B.I.," and he marries the scientist's beautiful mouse, who is played by Michael Jackson and they live controversially ever after.
Millie said...
Last week, I saw a television show that really gave me kiwi pimples! It starred Frank N. Furter as a mad chimney sweep who discovers a way to make bedbugs fourteen feet high! The scientist has a goofy assistant, played by Sitch U. Ation, who gets mad because the scientist keeps hitting him on the head with a paste-eater. So he lets the bedbugs loose. Right away they start to eat up Xanadu. The army tries to stop them by spraying them with Kool-Aid but that doesn't bother those perplexed by Riverdance bedbugs. They go right on and eat up Chicago. Then the army drops an atom fossilized booger on them and this kills all of them except one super bedbug who grabs the chocolate-dipped scientist and jumps into a volcano. And then the goofy assistant takes off his disguise and says, "I was only a battle axe for the F.B.I.," and he marries the scientist's beautiful disapproving glance, who is played by Daisy Jane, and they live prancingly ever after.
Heffalump said...
Last week, I saw a television show that really gave me albino ape pimples! It starred Larry as a mad veterinary dentist who discovers a way to make bedbugs fourteen feet high! The scientist has a goofy assistant, played by Curly, who gets mad because the scientist keeps hitting him on the head with hot apple cider. So he lets the bedbugs loose. Right away they start to eat up Farmer Bill's Corn Maze. The army tries to stop them by spraying them with squid ink but that doesn't bother those squishy bedbugs. They go right on and eat up Chicago. Then the army drops an atom donut hole on them and this kills all of them except one super bedbug who grabs the filled to bloating scientist and jumps into a volcano. And then the goofy assistant takes off his disguise and says, "I was only a Pygmie bunny for the F.B.I.," and he marries the scientist's beautiful Ewok, who is played by Moe, and they live flatulently ever after.
Gina said... (Welcome!)
Last week, I saw a television show that really gave me elephant pimples! It starred Madonna as a mad teacher who discovers a way to make bedbugs fourteen feet high! The scientist has a goofy assistant, played by Matthew McConaughey, who gets mad because the scientist keeps hitting him on the head with a dumbbell. So he lets the bedbugs loose. Right away they start to eat up Disneyland. The army tries to stop them by spraying them with milk but that doesn't bother those freakin’ bedbugs. They go right on and eat up Chicago. Then the army drops an atom purse on them and this kills all of them except one super bedbug who grabs the goofy scientist and jumps into a volcano. And then the goofy assistant takes off his disguise and says, "I was only a satellite for the F.B.I.," and he marries the scientist's beautiful mouse, who is played by Michael Jackson and they live controversially ever after.
Friday, October 1, 2010
My Dream Girl
The girl of my dreams has (adjective) blonde hair scented like (plural noun). Her eyes are like two (adjective) pools of (liquid). And her lips remind me of (adjective) (plural noun). Her skin is as smooth and lovely as a/an (adjective) (noun), and she has a figure like (name of person in room). When she enters a room, people always stare at her and say, “(Exclamation)! What a/an (adjective) woman!” Her sense of humor is always (adjective), and people marvel at her (adjective) vocabulary. In my dreams I see her wearing a/an (adjective) dress and a diamond (noun) in her hair. I would gladly give up all my (plural noun) for one evening with this (adjective) female. Her name is (name of person in room).
Millie said...
The girl of my dreams has stuffed with olives blonde hair scented like toes. Her eyes are like two yellowing pools of mango juice. And her lips remind me of spasmodic obscene T-shirts. Her skin is as smooth and lovely as a drippy with unknown ooze loud bang, and she has a figure like Midge. When she enters a room, people always stare at her and say, “Mercy me! What a purple-flowered woman!” Her sense of humor is always wistful, and people marvel at her angelic vocabulary. In my dreams I see her wearing a drooling with anticipation dress and a diamond pencil nub in her hair. I would gladly give up all my masquerade balls for one evening with this ketchup-smeared female. Her name is Maude.
Millie said...
The girl of my dreams has stuffed with olives blonde hair scented like toes. Her eyes are like two yellowing pools of mango juice. And her lips remind me of spasmodic obscene T-shirts. Her skin is as smooth and lovely as a drippy with unknown ooze loud bang, and she has a figure like Midge. When she enters a room, people always stare at her and say, “Mercy me! What a purple-flowered woman!” Her sense of humor is always wistful, and people marvel at her angelic vocabulary. In my dreams I see her wearing a drooling with anticipation dress and a diamond pencil nub in her hair. I would gladly give up all my masquerade balls for one evening with this ketchup-smeared female. Her name is Maude.
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