Monday, November 23, 2009
Happy Thanksgiving!
Millie is taking a Thanksgiving break this week. Happy Thanksgiving to all my wonderful Mad Libs friends! See you next Monday!
Friday, November 20, 2009
Relatives
This is a/an (adjective) explanation of what relatives are. If you don't know, you are probably (adjective). Parents consist of one mother and one (noun). Mothers are always saying, "Go comb your (noun)," or "Stop picking your (noun)!" Brothers and sisters are called (plural noun) and they are often a pain in the (part of the body). Grandfathers and grandmothers are your parents' (plural noun). They will buy you (a food) when mother says you can't have any. An aunt is someone who is married to your (noun). Relatives only get together on Thanksgiving or (a holiday) to eat a big (a bird). Do we really need relatives? I doubt it.
Millie said...
This is a visibly disturbed explanation of what relatives are. If you don't know, you are probably Shrinky Dink-wearing. Parents consist of one mother and one roast guinea pig on a stick. Mothers are always saying, "Go comb your voided bus ticket for behaving naughtily on a Greyhound bus," or "Stop picking your psychedelic mushroom candle!" Brothers and sisters are called two fat little boys fighting under a blanket and they are often a pain in the chin waddle. Grandfathers and grandmothers are your parents' medical history geeks. They will buy you shoo fly pie when mother says you can't have any. An aunt is someone who is married to your petard. Relatives only get together on Thanksgiving or St. Swithin's Day to eat a big yellow-bellied sap sucker. Do we really need relatives? I doubt it.
Thorny Tree Lady said...
This is an intellectually superior explanation of what relatives are. If you don't know, you are probably deceptively comfortable. Parents consist of one mother and one bottle of nail polish remover. Mothers are always saying, "Go comb your obsessed fan of Joel McHale," or "Stop picking your mind numbing hum from a computer!" Brothers and sisters are called cave dwellers and they are often a pain in the infected pus-filled ingrown toenail. Grandfathers and grandmothers are your parents' prematurely displayed Christmas decorations. They will buy you escargot when mother says you can't have any. An aunt is someone who is married to your mosquito bite. Relatives only get together on Thanksgiving or National Dark Chocolate Day (October 28th) to eat a big cockatoo. Do we really need relatives? I doubt it.
FluffyChicky said...
This is a Teen-spirit-smelly explanation of what relatives are. If you don't know, you are probably wholeheartedly vapid. Parents consist of one mother and one William Daniels’ walking stick from the movie “1776". Mothers are always saying, "Go comb your explosive diarrhea," or "Stop picking your dandruff prevention shampoo!" Brothers and sisters are called National Talk Like a Pirate Day enthusiasts and they are often a pain in the cankle. Grandfathers and grandmothers are your parents' rejected National Talk Like a Pirate Day enthusiasts because they couldn’t properly pronounce the word “Arrrgg!”. They will buy you wiener schnitzel when mother says you can't have any. An aunt is someone who is married to your Bishop Higgins. Relatives only get together on Thanksgiving or Virgen de los Angeles Day to eat a big southern royal albatross. Do we really need relatives? I doubt it.
Friday, November 13, 2009
Elizabeth the First
Elizabeth I assumed the British throne on 17 November 1558.
Elizabeth, the Tudor (noun) of England, was probably the (adjective, superlative) ruler the British ever had. Elizabeth was the daughter of Henry the Eighth and Anne Boleyn. Later, Anne had her (noun) chopped off by Henry.
Elizabeth was born in 1533 and became queen when she was 25. She was a/an (adjective) Protestant and persecuted the (adjective) Catholics (adverb). In 1588, the (nationality) Armada attacked England. But the English fleet, commanded by (celebrity) and (another celebrity), defeated them. Elizabeth ruled for 45 years, and during her reign England prospered and produced Shakespeare, Francis Bacon, and (name of person). Elizabeth never married, which is why she is sometimes called the (adjective) Queen.
Thorny Tree Lady said...
Elizabeth, the Tudor broken-down jalopy of England, was probably the most delicious ruler the British ever had. Elizabeth was the daughter of Henry the Eighth and Anne Boleyn. Later, Anne had her wet Tootsie-Pop covered in dirt and cat hair chopped off by Henry.
Elizabeth was born in 1533 and became queen when she was 25. She was a lousy Protestant and persecuted the freak-nasty Catholics pantingly. In 1588, the Scotch/Romanian Armada attacked England. But the English fleet, commanded by Joel McHale and Mario Lopez, defeated them. Elizabeth ruled for 45 years, and during her reign England prospered and produced Shakespeare, Francis Bacon, and Massive Headwound Harry. Elizabeth never married, which is why she is sometimes called the Chocolicious Queen.
Millie said...
Elizabeth, the Tudor electroshock therapy of England, was probably the frothiest ruler the British ever had. Elizabeth was the daughter of Henry the Eighth and Anne Boleyn. Later, Anne had her needlessly guilty conscience chopped off by Henry.
Elizabeth was born in 1533 and became queen when she was 25. She was a "tripped on a wire, fell into fire" Protestant and persecuted the potholder-collecting Catholics passive-aggressively. In 1588, the Swedish Armada attacked England. But the English fleet, commanded by Brett Somers and Charles Nelson Reilly, defeated them. Elizabeth ruled for 45 years, and during her reign England prospered and produced Shakespeare, Francis Bacon, and Herman the Homeopathic Hog-Caller. Elizabeth never married, which is why she is sometimes called the Twitches-on-Command Queen.
Stacey said...
Elizabeth, the Tudor bi-polar nun of England, was probably the tastiest ruler the British ever had. Elizabeth was the daughter of Henry the Eighth and Anne Boleyn. Later, Anne had her laxative-filled brownie chopped off by Henry.
Elizabeth was born in 1533 and became queen when she was 25. She was a perverted Protestant and persecuted the tantrum-throwing Catholics skillfully. In 1588, the Yugoslavian Armada attacked England. But the English fleet, commanded by Rob Pattinson and Taylor Lautner, defeated them. Elizabeth ruled for 45 years, and during her reign England prospered and produced Shakespeare, Francis Bacon, and Sassy Stacey. Elizabeth never married, which is why she is sometimes called the Ice-cold Queen.
Heffalump said...
Elizabeth, the Tudor whoopee cushion of England, was probably the most excellent ruler the British ever had. Elizabeth was the daughter of Henry the Eighth and Anne Boleyn. Later, Anne had her Home Shopping Network salesman chopped off by Henry.
Elizabeth was born in 1533 and became queen when she was 25. She was a tardy Protestant and persecuted the butterscotch flavored Catholics dramatically. In 1588, the Luxembourger Armada attacked England. But the English fleet, commanded by Dolly Parton and Kenny Rogers, defeated them. Elizabeth ruled for 45 years, and during her reign England prospered and produced Shakespeare, Francis Bacon, and Waldo. Elizabeth never married, which is why she is sometimes called the Peach Fuzz Covered Queen.
Dave said...
Elizabeth, the Tudor garden tiller of England, was probably the amazing-est ruler the British ever had. Elizabeth was the daughter of Henry the Eighth and Anne Boleyn. Later, Anne had her ham bone chopped off by Henry.
Elizabeth was born in 1533 and became queen when she was 25. She was a friendly Protestant and persecuted the mercurial Catholics dislikingly. In 1588, the Guilderian Armada attacked England. But the English fleet, commanded by Dennis Rodman and Pat Sajak, defeated them. Elizabeth ruled for 45 years, and during her reign England prospered and produced Shakespeare, Francis Bacon, and Rhonda. Elizabeth never married, which is why she is sometimes called the Dumpy Queen.
Elizabeth, the Tudor (noun) of England, was probably the (adjective, superlative) ruler the British ever had. Elizabeth was the daughter of Henry the Eighth and Anne Boleyn. Later, Anne had her (noun) chopped off by Henry.
Elizabeth was born in 1533 and became queen when she was 25. She was a/an (adjective) Protestant and persecuted the (adjective) Catholics (adverb). In 1588, the (nationality) Armada attacked England. But the English fleet, commanded by (celebrity) and (another celebrity), defeated them. Elizabeth ruled for 45 years, and during her reign England prospered and produced Shakespeare, Francis Bacon, and (name of person). Elizabeth never married, which is why she is sometimes called the (adjective) Queen.
Thorny Tree Lady said...
Elizabeth, the Tudor broken-down jalopy of England, was probably the most delicious ruler the British ever had. Elizabeth was the daughter of Henry the Eighth and Anne Boleyn. Later, Anne had her wet Tootsie-Pop covered in dirt and cat hair chopped off by Henry.
Elizabeth was born in 1533 and became queen when she was 25. She was a lousy Protestant and persecuted the freak-nasty Catholics pantingly. In 1588, the Scotch/Romanian Armada attacked England. But the English fleet, commanded by Joel McHale and Mario Lopez, defeated them. Elizabeth ruled for 45 years, and during her reign England prospered and produced Shakespeare, Francis Bacon, and Massive Headwound Harry. Elizabeth never married, which is why she is sometimes called the Chocolicious Queen.
Millie said...
Elizabeth, the Tudor electroshock therapy of England, was probably the frothiest ruler the British ever had. Elizabeth was the daughter of Henry the Eighth and Anne Boleyn. Later, Anne had her needlessly guilty conscience chopped off by Henry.
Elizabeth was born in 1533 and became queen when she was 25. She was a "tripped on a wire, fell into fire" Protestant and persecuted the potholder-collecting Catholics passive-aggressively. In 1588, the Swedish Armada attacked England. But the English fleet, commanded by Brett Somers and Charles Nelson Reilly, defeated them. Elizabeth ruled for 45 years, and during her reign England prospered and produced Shakespeare, Francis Bacon, and Herman the Homeopathic Hog-Caller. Elizabeth never married, which is why she is sometimes called the Twitches-on-Command Queen.
Stacey said...
Elizabeth, the Tudor bi-polar nun of England, was probably the tastiest ruler the British ever had. Elizabeth was the daughter of Henry the Eighth and Anne Boleyn. Later, Anne had her laxative-filled brownie chopped off by Henry.
Elizabeth was born in 1533 and became queen when she was 25. She was a perverted Protestant and persecuted the tantrum-throwing Catholics skillfully. In 1588, the Yugoslavian Armada attacked England. But the English fleet, commanded by Rob Pattinson and Taylor Lautner, defeated them. Elizabeth ruled for 45 years, and during her reign England prospered and produced Shakespeare, Francis Bacon, and Sassy Stacey. Elizabeth never married, which is why she is sometimes called the Ice-cold Queen.
Heffalump said...
Elizabeth, the Tudor whoopee cushion of England, was probably the most excellent ruler the British ever had. Elizabeth was the daughter of Henry the Eighth and Anne Boleyn. Later, Anne had her Home Shopping Network salesman chopped off by Henry.
Elizabeth was born in 1533 and became queen when she was 25. She was a tardy Protestant and persecuted the butterscotch flavored Catholics dramatically. In 1588, the Luxembourger Armada attacked England. But the English fleet, commanded by Dolly Parton and Kenny Rogers, defeated them. Elizabeth ruled for 45 years, and during her reign England prospered and produced Shakespeare, Francis Bacon, and Waldo. Elizabeth never married, which is why she is sometimes called the Peach Fuzz Covered Queen.
Dave said...
Elizabeth, the Tudor garden tiller of England, was probably the amazing-est ruler the British ever had. Elizabeth was the daughter of Henry the Eighth and Anne Boleyn. Later, Anne had her ham bone chopped off by Henry.
Elizabeth was born in 1533 and became queen when she was 25. She was a friendly Protestant and persecuted the mercurial Catholics dislikingly. In 1588, the Guilderian Armada attacked England. But the English fleet, commanded by Dennis Rodman and Pat Sajak, defeated them. Elizabeth ruled for 45 years, and during her reign England prospered and produced Shakespeare, Francis Bacon, and Rhonda. Elizabeth never married, which is why she is sometimes called the Dumpy Queen.
Friday, November 6, 2009
A Fan Letter
Leonardo DiCaprio's birthday is November 11, and what finer gift can we offer him than a Mad Lib in his honor? You're welcome, Leonardo.
Dear Leonardo,
A group of my (plural noun) and I were sitting around talking about movie (plural noun) and your name came up. My friend Jenny, who really drives me up a (noun), dared me to ask you for an autographed (noun). I suppose you get zillions of (adjective) requests like this, but if I don't hear from you, I'll be the laughing (noun) of the school and Jenny will thumb her (part of body) at me for sure. If you do write, and hopefully you will, please, please write something personal on your (noun). I promise you, cross my (part of body) and hope to (verb), I'll hang it in my bedroom. That way your (noun) will be the last thing I see before I go to sleep and the first thing I see when I open my (plural noun) in the morning.
Your ever faithful (noun),
(Name of girl in room)
Millie said...
Dear Leonardo,
A group of my overpaid security employees who never catch anyone shoplifting and I were sitting around talking about movie Tipperary bonbons and your name came up. My friend Jenny, who really drives me up a pair of shorts, dared me to ask you for an autographed Rice Krispie. I suppose you get zillions of raunchy and festering requests like this, but if I don't hear from you, I'll be the laughing resentful understudy of the school and Jenny will thumb her tear duct at me for sure. If you do write, and hopefully you will, please, please write something personal on your blue whale. I promise you, cross my kneecap hair and hope to dribble, I'll hang it in my bedroom. That way your Normal Norman will be the last thing I see before I go to sleep and the first thing I see when I open my naughty cockatoos in the morning.
Your ever faithful tub,
Shirley Shivwits
Thorny Tree Lady said...
Dear Leonardo,
A group of my mushy over-ripe bananas and I were sitting around talking about movie whining toddlers coming down from a post-Halloween sugar high and your name came up. My friend Jenny, who really drives me up an apple spice candle, dared me to ask you for an autographed yellow ribbon tied to an old oak tree. I suppose you get zillions of all-encompassing requests like this, but if I don't hear from you, I'll be the laughing multiplication tables cheat sheet of the school and Jenny will thumb her uvula at me for sure. If you do write, and hopefully you will, please, please write something personal on your bottle of Clorox. I promise you, cross my funny bone and hope to freak-out, I'll hang it in my bedroom. That way your warm & sunny spot in the window will be the last thing I see before I go to sleep and the first thing I see when I open my chin whiskers in the morning.
Your ever faithful pomegranate,
Octomom
Dave said...
Dear Leonardo,
A group of my chipmunks and I were sitting around talking about movie thumbnails and your name came up. My friend Jenny, who really drives me up an apple core, dared me to ask you for an autographed stock photo of a dog eating blueberries. I suppose you get zillions of odiferous requests like this, but if I don't hear from you, I'll be the laughing time machine of the school and Jenny will thumb her armpit at me for sure. If you do write, and hopefully you will, please, please write something personal on your black belt. I promise you, cross my unibrow and hope to disengage, I'll hang it in my bedroom. That way your raccoon will be the last thing I see before I go to sleep and the first thing I see when I open my pretentious Marxists in the morning.
Your ever faithful index out of range error,
Aunt Florence
Mel Smell said...
Dear Leonardo,
A group of my odd English muffin toppings and I were sitting around talking about movie infected ear squirts and your name came up. My friend Jenny, who really drives me up a creep in the stadium bathroom, dared me to ask you for an autographed rhino leaving. I suppose you get zillions of embarrassment enjoying requests like this, but if I don't hear from you, I'll be the laughing peek-a-boo hospital gown of the school and Jenny will thumb her knuckle flab at me for sure. If you do write, and hopefully you will, please, please write something personal on your corner-of-the-lip creature. I promise you, cross my sideburn and hope to point and mock, I'll hang it in my bedroom. That way your kitty breast implant will be the last thing I see before I go to sleep and the first thing I see when I open my fat-man suspenders in the morning.
Your ever faithful drooling street sleeper,
Dip-wad Daisy
Klin said...
Dear Leonardo,
A group of my crochet hooks and I were sitting around talking about movie slobber slimy tennis balls and your name came up. My friend Jenny, who really drives me up a creamy potato soup, dared me to ask you for an autographed chunky beef chili. I suppose you get zillions of obnoxious requests like this, but if I don't hear from you, I'll be the laughing blue and green leg warmer of the school and Jenny will thumb her snot production tubes at me for sure. If you do write, and hopefully you will, please, please write something personal on your incredibly long pink scarf. I promise you, cross my flatulence airing pipes and hope to snicker, I'll hang it in my bedroom. That way your scary and freaky stalker will be the last thing I see before I go to sleep and the first thing I see when I open my two crock pots of soup in the morning.
Your ever faithful other ringing phone,
Miss Lippy
FluffyChicky said...
Dear Leonardo,
A group of my scantily clad nuns and I were sitting around talking about movie hyperactive kids who have had just a little too much Halloween candy and your name came up. My friend Jenny, who really drives me up Eric Idle, dared me to ask you for an autographed Uncle Orville’s glass eye. I suppose you get zillions of beefy requests like this, but if I don't hear from you, I'll be the laughing calendar from 1957 featuring Groucho Marx in “questionable” clothing of the school and Jenny will thumb her upper arm flab at me for sure. If you do write, and hopefully you will, please, please write something personal on your skunk. I promise you, cross my toes covered in unnaturally large corns and hope to fart, I'll hang it in my bedroom. That way your hydraulic crane in need of lubrication will be the last thing I see before I go to sleep and the first thing I see when I open my super-secret band of specially trained attack ninja squirrels in the morning.
Your ever faithful Bleeding Gums Murphy,
Melba Peachbottom
Dear Leonardo,
A group of my (plural noun) and I were sitting around talking about movie (plural noun) and your name came up. My friend Jenny, who really drives me up a (noun), dared me to ask you for an autographed (noun). I suppose you get zillions of (adjective) requests like this, but if I don't hear from you, I'll be the laughing (noun) of the school and Jenny will thumb her (part of body) at me for sure. If you do write, and hopefully you will, please, please write something personal on your (noun). I promise you, cross my (part of body) and hope to (verb), I'll hang it in my bedroom. That way your (noun) will be the last thing I see before I go to sleep and the first thing I see when I open my (plural noun) in the morning.
Your ever faithful (noun),
(Name of girl in room)
Millie said...
Dear Leonardo,
A group of my overpaid security employees who never catch anyone shoplifting and I were sitting around talking about movie Tipperary bonbons and your name came up. My friend Jenny, who really drives me up a pair of shorts, dared me to ask you for an autographed Rice Krispie. I suppose you get zillions of raunchy and festering requests like this, but if I don't hear from you, I'll be the laughing resentful understudy of the school and Jenny will thumb her tear duct at me for sure. If you do write, and hopefully you will, please, please write something personal on your blue whale. I promise you, cross my kneecap hair and hope to dribble, I'll hang it in my bedroom. That way your Normal Norman will be the last thing I see before I go to sleep and the first thing I see when I open my naughty cockatoos in the morning.
Your ever faithful tub,
Shirley Shivwits
Thorny Tree Lady said...
Dear Leonardo,
A group of my mushy over-ripe bananas and I were sitting around talking about movie whining toddlers coming down from a post-Halloween sugar high and your name came up. My friend Jenny, who really drives me up an apple spice candle, dared me to ask you for an autographed yellow ribbon tied to an old oak tree. I suppose you get zillions of all-encompassing requests like this, but if I don't hear from you, I'll be the laughing multiplication tables cheat sheet of the school and Jenny will thumb her uvula at me for sure. If you do write, and hopefully you will, please, please write something personal on your bottle of Clorox. I promise you, cross my funny bone and hope to freak-out, I'll hang it in my bedroom. That way your warm & sunny spot in the window will be the last thing I see before I go to sleep and the first thing I see when I open my chin whiskers in the morning.
Your ever faithful pomegranate,
Octomom
Dave said...
Dear Leonardo,
A group of my chipmunks and I were sitting around talking about movie thumbnails and your name came up. My friend Jenny, who really drives me up an apple core, dared me to ask you for an autographed stock photo of a dog eating blueberries. I suppose you get zillions of odiferous requests like this, but if I don't hear from you, I'll be the laughing time machine of the school and Jenny will thumb her armpit at me for sure. If you do write, and hopefully you will, please, please write something personal on your black belt. I promise you, cross my unibrow and hope to disengage, I'll hang it in my bedroom. That way your raccoon will be the last thing I see before I go to sleep and the first thing I see when I open my pretentious Marxists in the morning.
Your ever faithful index out of range error,
Aunt Florence
Mel Smell said...
Dear Leonardo,
A group of my odd English muffin toppings and I were sitting around talking about movie infected ear squirts and your name came up. My friend Jenny, who really drives me up a creep in the stadium bathroom, dared me to ask you for an autographed rhino leaving. I suppose you get zillions of embarrassment enjoying requests like this, but if I don't hear from you, I'll be the laughing peek-a-boo hospital gown of the school and Jenny will thumb her knuckle flab at me for sure. If you do write, and hopefully you will, please, please write something personal on your corner-of-the-lip creature. I promise you, cross my sideburn and hope to point and mock, I'll hang it in my bedroom. That way your kitty breast implant will be the last thing I see before I go to sleep and the first thing I see when I open my fat-man suspenders in the morning.
Your ever faithful drooling street sleeper,
Dip-wad Daisy
Klin said...
Dear Leonardo,
A group of my crochet hooks and I were sitting around talking about movie slobber slimy tennis balls and your name came up. My friend Jenny, who really drives me up a creamy potato soup, dared me to ask you for an autographed chunky beef chili. I suppose you get zillions of obnoxious requests like this, but if I don't hear from you, I'll be the laughing blue and green leg warmer of the school and Jenny will thumb her snot production tubes at me for sure. If you do write, and hopefully you will, please, please write something personal on your incredibly long pink scarf. I promise you, cross my flatulence airing pipes and hope to snicker, I'll hang it in my bedroom. That way your scary and freaky stalker will be the last thing I see before I go to sleep and the first thing I see when I open my two crock pots of soup in the morning.
Your ever faithful other ringing phone,
Miss Lippy
FluffyChicky said...
Dear Leonardo,
A group of my scantily clad nuns and I were sitting around talking about movie hyperactive kids who have had just a little too much Halloween candy and your name came up. My friend Jenny, who really drives me up Eric Idle, dared me to ask you for an autographed Uncle Orville’s glass eye. I suppose you get zillions of beefy requests like this, but if I don't hear from you, I'll be the laughing calendar from 1957 featuring Groucho Marx in “questionable” clothing of the school and Jenny will thumb her upper arm flab at me for sure. If you do write, and hopefully you will, please, please write something personal on your skunk. I promise you, cross my toes covered in unnaturally large corns and hope to fart, I'll hang it in my bedroom. That way your hydraulic crane in need of lubrication will be the last thing I see before I go to sleep and the first thing I see when I open my super-secret band of specially trained attack ninja squirrels in the morning.
Your ever faithful Bleeding Gums Murphy,
Melba Peachbottom
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