If your skin is (adjective) or (adjective), you can cure this condition with the following care. Every morning, before washing your (noun), massage it gently with a (noun) that has been soaked overnight in a (container) full of warm (liquid). Then mix together some (food) and some (food) until the mixture becomes (adjective). Pat this onto your (adjective) complexion for five minutes. Then remove, using a (noun), and wash your face with (adjective) water. Do not omit this (adjective) step or your skin will become (adjective). Do this (adverb) every day and you will soon be as (adjective) as (name of person).
Glittersmama said...
If your skin is sweaty or stinky, you can cure this condition with the following care. Every morning, before washing your helmet, massage it gently with a shoulder pad that has been soaked overnight in a water cooler full of warm Gatorade. Then mix together a hot dog and some popcorn until the mixture becomes overweight. Pat this onto your overpaid complexion for five minutes. Then remove, using a cleat, and wash your face with athletic water. Do not omit this glittery step or your skin will become shiny. Do this deftly every day and you will soon be as greasy as Terrell Owens.
Kayelyn said...
If your skin is short or loud, you can cure this condition with the following care. Every morning, before washing your house, massage it gently with a car that has been soaked overnight in a juice pitcher full of warm furniture polish. Then mix together some pomegranate and some cheese spread until the mixture becomes smooth. Pat this onto your creamy complexion for five minutes. Then remove, using a fridge, and wash your face with dirty water. Do not omit this old step or your skin will become copper-colored. Do this lightly every day and you will soon be as chilled as Mr. Roboto.
Thorny Tree Lady said...
If your skin is gamey or prudish, you can cure this condition with the following care. Every morning, before washing your bowl full of garlic mashed potatoes, massage it gently with a Squanto that has been soaked overnight in a prescription bottle full of warm carmel apple cider. Then mix together some Hawaiian Haystacks and some gelato until the mixture becomes rancid-smelling. Pat this onto your cheetalicious complexion for five minutes. Then remove, using a Nicole Kidman, and wash your face with raunchy water. Do not omit this grateful step or your skin will become tired. Do this longingly every day and you will soon be as frightening as Dwight Schrute.
Azul said...
If your skin is smelly or wrinkled, you can cure this condition with the following care. Every morning, before washing your balloon whisk, massage it gently with a fireman that has been soaked overnight in a mug full of warm coffee. Then mix together some escargot and a tamale until the mixture becomes rosy. Pat this onto your skeletal complexion for five minutes. Then remove, using a nurse, and wash your face with rigid water. Do not omit this golden step or your skin will become sparkly. Do this quickly every day and you will soon be as tired as Nina.
compulsive writer said...
If your skin is vindictive or mildly objectionable, you can cure this condition with the following care. Every morning, before washing your cave-dweller, massage it gently with a moss-covered toadstool that has been soaked overnight in a dumpster full of warm Uncle Pete's vintage moonshine. Then mix together some Beluga Malossol Caviar and some perfectly aged Camembert until the mixture becomes scurrilous. Pat this onto your beyond unbearable complexion for five minutes. Then remove, using a big-toe hair, and wash your face with presumptuous water. Do not omit this perfectly predictable step or your skin will become sub-human. Do this exquisitely efficiently every day and you will soon be as unprecedented as Peter Pettigrew.
physcokity said...
If your skin is greasy or grimy, you can cure this condition with the following care. Every morning, before washing your cottage cheese, massage it gently with a bleu cheese crumble that has been soaked overnight in a toxic waste barrel full of warm ooze that turned them into teenage mutant ninja turtles. Then mix together some lime and some coconut until the mixture becomes shatastic. Pat this onto your fergalicious complexion for five minutes. Then remove, using a toboggan, and wash your face with silky water. Do not omit this shiny step or your skin will become smooth. Do this freely every day and you will soon be as hotter than a washed up stripper in a g-string as Calvin Coolidge.
Jean Knee said...
If your skin is slovenly porcine or odiferous, you can cure this condition with the following care. Every morning, before washing your drunken uncle Steve, massage him gently with an inert gas that has been soaked overnight in a burping plastic bowl thing full of warm old man drool. Then mix together some honey wheat sticks and some pickled beets until the mixture becomes funny like an enema. Pat this onto your creepy like an old lady's neck complexion for five minutes. Then remove, using a brand new car, and wash your face with wants a spanking water. Do not omit this benign step or your skin will become rip roaring. Do this refreshingly differently every day and you will soon be as snot-covered as Cher.
Mel Smell said...
If your skin is full of wise cracks or uni-testicled, you can cure this condition with the following care. Every morning, before washing your snowy butt crack, massage it gently with a lip fur that has been soaked overnight in a sputum basin full of warm eye socket sauce. Then mix together some groundhog and an egg until the mixture becomes floating away with the clouds. Pat this onto your 80's cliche complexion for five minutes. Then remove, using a renegade hiney hair clipping, and wash your face with obsessed with Vicki the robot girl from "Small Wonder" water. Do not omit this dirty food on the floor-eating step or your skin will become full of worms. Do this fart-waftingly every day and you will soon be as Elvira-looking as Green Granny-panties Gretchen.
lia said...
If your skin is fly-bitten or milk-liered, you can cure this condition with the following care. Every morning, before washing your mammal, massage it gently with an amphibian that has been soaked overnight in a crockpot full of warm spoiled milk. Then mix together a Snickers bar and some Diet Coke until the mixture becomes ratty. Pat this onto your spoingy complexion for five minutes. Then remove, using a paunch, and wash your face with lumpy water. Do not omit this knotted step or your skin will become torn. Do this decisively every day and you will soon be as limp as Hannah Montana.
fluffychicky said...
If your skin is feeble or sultry, you can cure this condition with the following care. Every morning, before washing your mutilated monkey meat, massage it gently with a super slinky hot pants that has been soaked overnight in a previously used coffin (with bits of the previous tenant left behind) full of warm Jack Daniels Old Tennessee Whiskey No. 5. Then mix together some open faced roast beef sandwiches and some stale French toast sticks until the mixture becomes soggy-bottomed. Pat this onto your grotesquely flatulent complexion for five minutes. Then remove, using greasy grimy gopher guts, and wash your face with lip-smacking good water. Do not omit this unrighteous step or your skin will become crusty like old people. Do this huskily every day and you will soon be as Botox-using as Jack Skellington.
Dawnyel said...
If your skin is creepy or stinky, you can cure this condition with the following care. Every morning, before washing your eyeball, massage it gently with an Dixie cup that has been soaked overnight in a Tupperware tumbler full of warm slime. Then mix together a burrito and some Cheetos until the mixture becomes slimy. Pat this onto your flat complexion for five minutes. Then remove, using a mouse, and wash your face with warm water. Do not omit this red step or your skin will become icy. Do this wearily every day and you will soon be as hard as Hiro Nakamura.
Sketchy said...
If your skin is son of a pig or blast-ended, you can cure this condition with the following care. Every morning, before washing your big black nothing, massage it gently with a snot-nosed neighbor child that has been soaked overnight in a take-out Chinese food box full of warm sludge. Then mix together some cucumber puree and some carrot jello until the mixture becomes cunuckiness. Pat this onto your mexically complexion for five minutes. Then remove, using the new mole on top of my head, and wash your face with acutely worrisome water. Do not omit this phonemically aware step or your skin will become blue-bellied. Do this slip-side-and-awayily every day and you will soon be as faithfully relaxed as Natalie Norsqwaskali.
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
How To Serve Wine
You didn't know you were such great wine experts, did you? You big Word of Wisdom-breakers.
A good wine, served (adverb), can make any meal a truly (adjective) occasion. The red wines have a (adjective) flavor that blends with boiled (plural noun) or smoked (noun). White wines range in flavor from (adjective) to (adjective). The best wines are made by peasants in (geographical location) from the juice of ripe (plural noun) by putting them in vats and squashing them with their (adjective) feet. This is what gives wine its (adjective) aroma.
Here are a few rules: 1) Always serve white wine in a (adjective) glass at (noun) temperature. 2) Never serve burgundy with fried (plural noun). 3) Wines should always be drunk (adverb) or you're liable to end up with a (adjective) stomach.
Heffalump said...
A good wine, served craftily, can make any meal a truly superior occasion. The red wines have a green flavor that blends with boiled egg salad sandwiches or smoked rabbit. White wines range in flavor from superfast to whipped cream-like. The best wines are made by peasants in Mt. Hood from the juice of ripe mashed potatoes by putting them in vats and squashing them with their crispy feet. This is what gives wine its scorched aroma.
Here are a few rules: 1) Always serve white wine in a tantalizing glass at drumstick temperature. 2) Never serve burgundy with fried cymbals. 3) Wines should always be drunk crashingly or you're liable to end up with a loud stomach.
Kayelyn said...
A good wine, served stunningly, can make any meal a truly fiery occasion. The red wines have a loud flavor that blends with boiled cheering frozen snowmen or smoked ice cold pop cooler. White wines range in flavor from big massive empty to dirty. The best wines are made by peasants in Provo's Rock Canyon from the juice of ripe socks by putting them in vats and squashing them with their grotesque feet. This is what gives wine its red aroma.
Here are a few rules: 1) Always serve white wine in a bright glass at buried-in-leaves backyard temperature. 2) Never serve burgundy with fried very tall trees. 3) Wines should always be drunk annoyingly or you're liable to end up with a chilled stomach.
Thorny Tree Lady said...
A good wine, served daintily, can make any meal a truly ruby red occasion. The red wines have a Miss Clairol #33 red flavor that blends with boiled Disney Princesses or smoked Ariel's purple conch shell bra. White wines range in flavor from dizzyingly stupid to sickeningly sweet. The best wines are made by peasants in Cinderella's castle at Disneyland Paris from the juice of ripe Jasmine's egg-shaped gold earrings by putting them in vats and squashing them with their commercially sponsored feet. This is what gives wine its pseudo-sultry aroma.
Here are a few rules: 1) Always serve white wine in a smart as a whip glass at Belle's Library temperature. 2) Never serve burgundy with fried Seven Dwarfs. 3) Wines should always be drunk happily or you're liable to end up with a squeaky as Snow White's voice stomach.
Rebecca said...
A good wine, served nastily, can make any meal a truly green occasion. The red wines have a lick-worthy flavor that blends with boiled rubber duckies or smoked gas stove. White wines range in flavor from whirling dervishly to puffy sweater-like. The best wines are made by peasants in Mount Wannahockaloogie from the juice of ripe crocheted cornucopias by putting them in vats and squashing them with their sticky feet. This is what gives wine its bat-like aroma.
Here are a few rules: 1) Always serve white wine in a hairy glass at Yeti temperature. 2) Never serve burgundy with fried pea pods. 3) Wines should always be drunk lovingly or you're liable to end up with a nosehairish stomach.
(Hey Millie, I keep forgetting to ask you which variation of list you prefer to work with--one that keeps the description of the words (adverb, noun, etc) or madlib words only.)
(I prefer just the Mad Lib words. Thanks for asking! You're so sweet.)
Physcokity said...
A good wine, served creepily, can make any meal a truly devoid occasion. The red wines have an eerie flavor that blends with boiled super fluffy lab rats or smoked corn. White wines range in flavor from dark to dank. The best wines are made by peasants in King Tut's Tomb from the juice of ripe sarcophagi by putting them in vats and squashing them with their itsy bitsy feet. This is what gives wine its teenie weenie aroma.
Here are a few rules: 1) Always serve white wine in a yellow glass at polka-dot bikini temperature. 2) Never serve burgundy with fried sand crabs. 3) Wines should always be drunk miserly or you're liable to end up with a slap happy stomach.
liz said...
A good wine, served childishly, can make any meal a truly blonde occasion. The red wines have a small flavor that blends with boiled slippers or smoked glove. White wines range in flavor from darling to impatient. The best wines are made by peasants in Utah from the juice of ripe dishes by putting them in vats and squashing them with their cute feet. This is what gives wine its tiny aroma.
Here are a few rules: 1) Always serve white wine in a funny glass at finger temperature. 2) Never serve burgundy with fried trains. 3) Wines should always be drunk annoyingly or you're liable to end up with a green stomach.
Mel Smell said...
A good wine, served loogie-hockingly, can make any meal a truly walks like an ape occasion. The red wines have a talks like a goat flavor that blends with boiled uniboob-having aerobics queens or smoked briny butt nectar. White wines range in flavor from asking for it to furry-cheeked. The best wines are made by peasants in MySisterIsMyGrandma, Alabama from the juice of ripe people who fart on every step of the stairs by putting them in vats and squashing them with their slapped-with-a-toilet-water-soaked-tampon feet. This is what gives wine its penny-pooping aroma.
Here are a few rules: 1) Always serve white wine in a swings like old lady waddle glass at foot fat piercing temperature. 2) Never serve burgundy with fried prosthetic dog leg wheels. 3) Wines should always be drunk dirty diaper-slingingly or you're liable to end up with a brown teeth-having stomach.
Tori :) said...
A good wine, served disgustingly, can make any meal a truly slippery occasion. The red wines have an empty flavor that blends with boiled fuzzy socks or smoked popsicle. White wines range in flavor from urine-yellow to poo-brown. The best wines are made by peasants in Cybertron from the juice of ripe hairs by putting them in vats and squashing them with their pokey feet. This is what gives wine its limp aroma.
Here are a few rules: 1) Always serve white wine in an upside-down glass at cat tail temperature. 2) Never serve burgundy with fried sandpaper. 3) Wines should always be drunk roughly or you're liable to end up with a sparkly stomach.
Carrie said...
A good wine, served sneakily, can make any meal a truly adorable occasion. The red wines have a purple flavor that blends with boiled bunnies or smoked bulldozer. White wines range in flavor from loud to redneck. The best wines are made by peasants in Paris from the juice of ripe slippers by putting them in vats and squashing them with their fuzzy feet. This is what gives wine its obnoxious aroma.
Here are a few rules: 1) Always serve white wine in a harmonious glass at bell temperature. 2) Never serve burgundy with fried farmers. 3) Wines should always be drunk quickly or you're liable to end up with a harmful stomach.
FluffyChicky said...
A good wine, served hatefully, can make any meal a truly old lady hair blue occasion. The red wines have a smells like Teen Spirit flavor that blends with boiled raging pack of intoxicated baboons or smoked shady parole officer. White wines range in flavor from baby butt smooth to smarmy. The best wines are made by peasants in the overly used restroom at Brian's Burrito Palace from the juice of ripe lady of the evening high heels by putting them in vats and squashing them with their swarthy feet. This is what gives wine its week-old-diaper-stinky aroma.
Here are a few rules: 1) Always serve white wine in crusty glass at termite-infested peg leg temperature. 2) Never serve burgundy with fried leather bondage outfits. 3) Wines should always be drunk sloppily or you're liable to end up with a crispy like bacon stomach.
elasticwaistbandlady said...
A good wine, served saddlebag-clenchingly, can make any meal a truly blue like Blue Velvet occasion. The red wines have a white and nerdy flavor that blends with boiled dollar store guillotines or smoked coconut shrimp balls. White wines range in flavor from turbo-charged farting to size XXX Daisy Duke-wearing. The best wines are made by peasants in John Malkovich's head from the juice of ripe creepy angel head ornaments by putting them in vats and squashing them with their monacle-peeping feet. This is what gives wine its cootie-headed aroma.
Here are a few rules: 1) Always serve white wine in a candy-corn-colored vomit-covered glass at curdled milk mustache temperature. 2) Never serve burgundy with fried red-eyed zombie anteaters. 3) Wines should always be drunk lollygaggingly or you're liable to end up with a ladybug-infested stomach.
Dawnyel said...
A good wine, served happily, can make any meal a truly flat occasion. The red wines have a perky flavor that blends with boiled toes or smoked lid. White wines range in flavor from googly to burgundy. The best wines are made by peasants in the Pacific Ocean from the juice of ripe suits by putting them in vats and squashing them with their dark feet. This is what gives wine its smelly aroma.
Here are a few rules: 1) Always serve white wine in a bland glass at cleavage temperature. 2) Never serve burgundy with fried restaurants. 3) Wines should always be drunk weakly or you're liable to end up with a round stomach.
glittersmama said...
A good wine, served slyly, can make any meal a truly grainy occasion. The red wines have a brown flavor that blends with boiled seat backs or smoked seat belt. White wines range in flavor from matted to dry. The best wines are made by peasants in Las Vegas from the juice of ripe tray tables by putting them in vats and squashing them with their smooth feet. This is what gives wine its silky aroma.
Here are a few rules: 1) Always serve white wine in a shiny glass at tarmac temperature. 2) Never serve burgundy with fried terminals. 3) Wines should always be drunk smoothly or you're liable to end up with a ratted stomach.
b. said...
A good wine, served heavily, can make any meal a truly brisk occasion. The red wines have a savory flavor that blends with boiled cheeks or smoked pen. White wines range in flavor from crispy to flaky. The best wines are made by peasants in Cornpone, Alabama from the juice of ripe teeth by putting them in vats and squashing them with their missing feet. This is what gives wine its drunk aroma.
Here are a few rules: 1) Always serve white wine in a chipper glass at chunk temperature. 2) Never serve burgundy with fried fingertips. 3) Wines should always be drunk suddenly or you're liable to end up with a ruffled stomach.
Thanks for playing, everyone! :) I have a cold and I'm going back to bed.
A good wine, served (adverb), can make any meal a truly (adjective) occasion. The red wines have a (adjective) flavor that blends with boiled (plural noun) or smoked (noun). White wines range in flavor from (adjective) to (adjective). The best wines are made by peasants in (geographical location) from the juice of ripe (plural noun) by putting them in vats and squashing them with their (adjective) feet. This is what gives wine its (adjective) aroma.
Here are a few rules: 1) Always serve white wine in a (adjective) glass at (noun) temperature. 2) Never serve burgundy with fried (plural noun). 3) Wines should always be drunk (adverb) or you're liable to end up with a (adjective) stomach.
Heffalump said...
A good wine, served craftily, can make any meal a truly superior occasion. The red wines have a green flavor that blends with boiled egg salad sandwiches or smoked rabbit. White wines range in flavor from superfast to whipped cream-like. The best wines are made by peasants in Mt. Hood from the juice of ripe mashed potatoes by putting them in vats and squashing them with their crispy feet. This is what gives wine its scorched aroma.
Here are a few rules: 1) Always serve white wine in a tantalizing glass at drumstick temperature. 2) Never serve burgundy with fried cymbals. 3) Wines should always be drunk crashingly or you're liable to end up with a loud stomach.
Kayelyn said...
A good wine, served stunningly, can make any meal a truly fiery occasion. The red wines have a loud flavor that blends with boiled cheering frozen snowmen or smoked ice cold pop cooler. White wines range in flavor from big massive empty to dirty. The best wines are made by peasants in Provo's Rock Canyon from the juice of ripe socks by putting them in vats and squashing them with their grotesque feet. This is what gives wine its red aroma.
Here are a few rules: 1) Always serve white wine in a bright glass at buried-in-leaves backyard temperature. 2) Never serve burgundy with fried very tall trees. 3) Wines should always be drunk annoyingly or you're liable to end up with a chilled stomach.
Thorny Tree Lady said...
A good wine, served daintily, can make any meal a truly ruby red occasion. The red wines have a Miss Clairol #33 red flavor that blends with boiled Disney Princesses or smoked Ariel's purple conch shell bra. White wines range in flavor from dizzyingly stupid to sickeningly sweet. The best wines are made by peasants in Cinderella's castle at Disneyland Paris from the juice of ripe Jasmine's egg-shaped gold earrings by putting them in vats and squashing them with their commercially sponsored feet. This is what gives wine its pseudo-sultry aroma.
Here are a few rules: 1) Always serve white wine in a smart as a whip glass at Belle's Library temperature. 2) Never serve burgundy with fried Seven Dwarfs. 3) Wines should always be drunk happily or you're liable to end up with a squeaky as Snow White's voice stomach.
Rebecca said...
A good wine, served nastily, can make any meal a truly green occasion. The red wines have a lick-worthy flavor that blends with boiled rubber duckies or smoked gas stove. White wines range in flavor from whirling dervishly to puffy sweater-like. The best wines are made by peasants in Mount Wannahockaloogie from the juice of ripe crocheted cornucopias by putting them in vats and squashing them with their sticky feet. This is what gives wine its bat-like aroma.
Here are a few rules: 1) Always serve white wine in a hairy glass at Yeti temperature. 2) Never serve burgundy with fried pea pods. 3) Wines should always be drunk lovingly or you're liable to end up with a nosehairish stomach.
(Hey Millie, I keep forgetting to ask you which variation of list you prefer to work with--one that keeps the description of the words (adverb, noun, etc) or madlib words only.)
(I prefer just the Mad Lib words. Thanks for asking! You're so sweet.)
Physcokity said...
A good wine, served creepily, can make any meal a truly devoid occasion. The red wines have an eerie flavor that blends with boiled super fluffy lab rats or smoked corn. White wines range in flavor from dark to dank. The best wines are made by peasants in King Tut's Tomb from the juice of ripe sarcophagi by putting them in vats and squashing them with their itsy bitsy feet. This is what gives wine its teenie weenie aroma.
Here are a few rules: 1) Always serve white wine in a yellow glass at polka-dot bikini temperature. 2) Never serve burgundy with fried sand crabs. 3) Wines should always be drunk miserly or you're liable to end up with a slap happy stomach.
liz said...
A good wine, served childishly, can make any meal a truly blonde occasion. The red wines have a small flavor that blends with boiled slippers or smoked glove. White wines range in flavor from darling to impatient. The best wines are made by peasants in Utah from the juice of ripe dishes by putting them in vats and squashing them with their cute feet. This is what gives wine its tiny aroma.
Here are a few rules: 1) Always serve white wine in a funny glass at finger temperature. 2) Never serve burgundy with fried trains. 3) Wines should always be drunk annoyingly or you're liable to end up with a green stomach.
Mel Smell said...
A good wine, served loogie-hockingly, can make any meal a truly walks like an ape occasion. The red wines have a talks like a goat flavor that blends with boiled uniboob-having aerobics queens or smoked briny butt nectar. White wines range in flavor from asking for it to furry-cheeked. The best wines are made by peasants in MySisterIsMyGrandma, Alabama from the juice of ripe people who fart on every step of the stairs by putting them in vats and squashing them with their slapped-with-a-toilet-water-soaked-tampon feet. This is what gives wine its penny-pooping aroma.
Here are a few rules: 1) Always serve white wine in a swings like old lady waddle glass at foot fat piercing temperature. 2) Never serve burgundy with fried prosthetic dog leg wheels. 3) Wines should always be drunk dirty diaper-slingingly or you're liable to end up with a brown teeth-having stomach.
Tori :) said...
A good wine, served disgustingly, can make any meal a truly slippery occasion. The red wines have an empty flavor that blends with boiled fuzzy socks or smoked popsicle. White wines range in flavor from urine-yellow to poo-brown. The best wines are made by peasants in Cybertron from the juice of ripe hairs by putting them in vats and squashing them with their pokey feet. This is what gives wine its limp aroma.
Here are a few rules: 1) Always serve white wine in an upside-down glass at cat tail temperature. 2) Never serve burgundy with fried sandpaper. 3) Wines should always be drunk roughly or you're liable to end up with a sparkly stomach.
Carrie said...
A good wine, served sneakily, can make any meal a truly adorable occasion. The red wines have a purple flavor that blends with boiled bunnies or smoked bulldozer. White wines range in flavor from loud to redneck. The best wines are made by peasants in Paris from the juice of ripe slippers by putting them in vats and squashing them with their fuzzy feet. This is what gives wine its obnoxious aroma.
Here are a few rules: 1) Always serve white wine in a harmonious glass at bell temperature. 2) Never serve burgundy with fried farmers. 3) Wines should always be drunk quickly or you're liable to end up with a harmful stomach.
FluffyChicky said...
A good wine, served hatefully, can make any meal a truly old lady hair blue occasion. The red wines have a smells like Teen Spirit flavor that blends with boiled raging pack of intoxicated baboons or smoked shady parole officer. White wines range in flavor from baby butt smooth to smarmy. The best wines are made by peasants in the overly used restroom at Brian's Burrito Palace from the juice of ripe lady of the evening high heels by putting them in vats and squashing them with their swarthy feet. This is what gives wine its week-old-diaper-stinky aroma.
Here are a few rules: 1) Always serve white wine in crusty glass at termite-infested peg leg temperature. 2) Never serve burgundy with fried leather bondage outfits. 3) Wines should always be drunk sloppily or you're liable to end up with a crispy like bacon stomach.
elasticwaistbandlady said...
A good wine, served saddlebag-clenchingly, can make any meal a truly blue like Blue Velvet occasion. The red wines have a white and nerdy flavor that blends with boiled dollar store guillotines or smoked coconut shrimp balls. White wines range in flavor from turbo-charged farting to size XXX Daisy Duke-wearing. The best wines are made by peasants in John Malkovich's head from the juice of ripe creepy angel head ornaments by putting them in vats and squashing them with their monacle-peeping feet. This is what gives wine its cootie-headed aroma.
Here are a few rules: 1) Always serve white wine in a candy-corn-colored vomit-covered glass at curdled milk mustache temperature. 2) Never serve burgundy with fried red-eyed zombie anteaters. 3) Wines should always be drunk lollygaggingly or you're liable to end up with a ladybug-infested stomach.
Dawnyel said...
A good wine, served happily, can make any meal a truly flat occasion. The red wines have a perky flavor that blends with boiled toes or smoked lid. White wines range in flavor from googly to burgundy. The best wines are made by peasants in the Pacific Ocean from the juice of ripe suits by putting them in vats and squashing them with their dark feet. This is what gives wine its smelly aroma.
Here are a few rules: 1) Always serve white wine in a bland glass at cleavage temperature. 2) Never serve burgundy with fried restaurants. 3) Wines should always be drunk weakly or you're liable to end up with a round stomach.
glittersmama said...
A good wine, served slyly, can make any meal a truly grainy occasion. The red wines have a brown flavor that blends with boiled seat backs or smoked seat belt. White wines range in flavor from matted to dry. The best wines are made by peasants in Las Vegas from the juice of ripe tray tables by putting them in vats and squashing them with their smooth feet. This is what gives wine its silky aroma.
Here are a few rules: 1) Always serve white wine in a shiny glass at tarmac temperature. 2) Never serve burgundy with fried terminals. 3) Wines should always be drunk smoothly or you're liable to end up with a ratted stomach.
b. said...
A good wine, served heavily, can make any meal a truly brisk occasion. The red wines have a savory flavor that blends with boiled cheeks or smoked pen. White wines range in flavor from crispy to flaky. The best wines are made by peasants in Cornpone, Alabama from the juice of ripe teeth by putting them in vats and squashing them with their missing feet. This is what gives wine its drunk aroma.
Here are a few rules: 1) Always serve white wine in a chipper glass at chunk temperature. 2) Never serve burgundy with fried fingertips. 3) Wines should always be drunk suddenly or you're liable to end up with a ruffled stomach.
Thanks for playing, everyone! :) I have a cold and I'm going back to bed.
Mad Lib Monday: How To Serve Wine
You didn't know you were such great wine experts, did you? You big Word of Wisdom-breakers.
A good wine, served (adverb), can make any meal a truly (adjective) occasion. The red wines have a (adjective) flavor that blends with boiled (plural noun) or smoked (noun). White wines range in flavor from (adjective) to (adjective). The best wines are made by peasants in (geographical location) from the juice of ripe (plural noun) by putting them in vats and squashing them with their (adjective) feet. This is what gives wine its (adjective) aroma.
Here are a few rules: 1) Always serve white wine in a (adjective) glass at (noun) temperature. 2) Never serve burgundy with fried (plural noun). 3) Wines should always be drunk (adverb) or you're liable to end up with a (adjective) stomach.
Heffalump said...
A good wine, served craftily, can make any meal a truly superior occasion. The red wines have a green flavor that blends with boiled egg salad sandwiches or smoked rabbit. White wines range in flavor from superfast to whipped cream-like. The best wines are made by peasants in Mt. Hood from the juice of ripe mashed potatoes by putting them in vats and squashing them with their crispy feet. This is what gives wine its scorched aroma.
Here are a few rules: 1) Always serve white wine in a tantalizing glass at drumstick temperature. 2) Never serve burgundy with fried cymbals. 3) Wines should always be drunk crashingly or you're liable to end up with a loud stomach.
Kayelyn said...
A good wine, served stunningly, can make any meal a truly fiery occasion. The red wines have a loud flavor that blends with boiled cheering frozen snowmen or smoked ice cold pop cooler. White wines range in flavor from big massive empty to dirty. The best wines are made by peasants in Provo's Rock Canyon from the juice of ripe socks by putting them in vats and squashing them with their grotesque feet. This is what gives wine its red aroma.
Here are a few rules: 1) Always serve white wine in a bright glass at buried-in-leaves backyard temperature. 2) Never serve burgundy with fried very tall trees. 3) Wines should always be drunk annoyingly or you're liable to end up with a chilled stomach.
Thorny Tree Lady said...
A good wine, served daintily, can make any meal a truly ruby red occasion. The red wines have a Miss Clairol #33 red flavor that blends with boiled Disney Princesses or smoked Ariel's purple conch shell bra. White wines range in flavor from dizzyingly stupid to sickeningly sweet. The best wines are made by peasants in Cinderella's castle at Disneyland Paris from the juice of ripe Jasmine's egg-shaped gold earrings by putting them in vats and squashing them with their commercially sponsored feet. This is what gives wine its pseudo-sultry aroma.
Here are a few rules: 1) Always serve white wine in a smart as a whip glass at Belle's Library temperature. 2) Never serve burgundy with fried Seven Dwarfs. 3) Wines should always be drunk happily or you're liable to end up with a squeaky as Snow White's voice stomach.
Rebecca said...
A good wine, served nastily, can make any meal a truly green occasion. The red wines have a lick-worthy flavor that blends with boiled rubber duckies or smoked gas stove. White wines range in flavor from whirling dervishly to puffy sweater-like. The best wines are made by peasants in Mount Wannahockaloogie from the juice of ripe crocheted cornucopias by putting them in vats and squashing them with their sticky feet. This is what gives wine its bat-like aroma.
Here are a few rules: 1) Always serve white wine in a hairy glass at Yeti temperature. 2) Never serve burgundy with fried pea pods. 3) Wines should always be drunk lovingly or you're liable to end up with a nosehairish stomach.
(Hey Millie, I keep forgetting to ask you which variation of list you prefer to work with--one that keeps the description of the words (adverb, noun, etc) or madlib words only.)
(I prefer just the Mad Lib words. Thanks for asking! You're so sweet.)
Physcokity said...
A good wine, served creepily, can make any meal a truly devoid occasion. The red wines have an eerie flavor that blends with boiled super fluffy lab rats or smoked corn. White wines range in flavor from dark to dank. The best wines are made by peasants in King Tut's Tomb from the juice of ripe sarcophagi by putting them in vats and squashing them with their itsy bitsy feet. This is what gives wine its teenie weenie aroma.
Here are a few rules: 1) Always serve white wine in a yellow glass at polka-dot bikini temperature. 2) Never serve burgundy with fried sand crabs. 3) Wines should always be drunk miserly or you're liable to end up with a slap happy stomach.
liz said...
A good wine, served childishly, can make any meal a truly blonde occasion. The red wines have a small flavor that blends with boiled slippers or smoked glove. White wines range in flavor from darling to impatient. The best wines are made by peasants in Utah from the juice of ripe dishes by putting them in vats and squashing them with their cute feet. This is what gives wine its tiny aroma.
Here are a few rules: 1) Always serve white wine in a funny glass at finger temperature. 2) Never serve burgundy with fried trains. 3) Wines should always be drunk annoyingly or you're liable to end up with a green stomach.
Mel Smell said...
A good wine, served loogie-hockingly, can make any meal a truly walks like an ape occasion. The red wines have a talks like a goat flavor that blends with boiled uniboob-having aerobics queens or smoked briny butt nectar. White wines range in flavor from asking for it to furry-cheeked. The best wines are made by peasants in MySisterIsMyGrandma, Alabama from the juice of ripe people who fart on every step of the stairs by putting them in vats and squashing them with their slapped-with-a-toilet-water-soaked-tampon feet. This is what gives wine its penny-pooping aroma.
Here are a few rules: 1) Always serve white wine in a swings like old lady waddle glass at foot fat piercing temperature. 2) Never serve burgundy with fried prosthetic dog leg wheels. 3) Wines should always be drunk dirty diaper-slingingly or you're liable to end up with a brown teeth-having stomach.
Tori :) said...
A good wine, served disgustingly, can make any meal a truly slippery occasion. The red wines have an empty flavor that blends with boiled fuzzy socks or smoked popsicle. White wines range in flavor from urine-yellow to poo-brown. The best wines are made by peasants in Cybertron from the juice of ripe hairs by putting them in vats and squashing them with their pokey feet. This is what gives wine its limp aroma.
Here are a few rules: 1) Always serve white wine in an upside-down glass at cat tail temperature. 2) Never serve burgundy with fried sandpaper. 3) Wines should always be drunk roughly or you're liable to end up with a sparkly stomach.
Carrie said...
A good wine, served sneakily, can make any meal a truly adorable occasion. The red wines have a purple flavor that blends with boiled bunnies or smoked bulldozer. White wines range in flavor from loud to redneck. The best wines are made by peasants in Paris from the juice of ripe slippers by putting them in vats and squashing them with their fuzzy feet. This is what gives wine its obnoxious aroma.
Here are a few rules: 1) Always serve white wine in a harmonious glass at bell temperature. 2) Never serve burgundy with fried farmers. 3) Wines should always be drunk quickly or you're liable to end up with a harmful stomach.
FluffyChicky said...
A good wine, served hatefully, can make any meal a truly old lady hair blue occasion. The red wines have a smells like Teen Spirit flavor that blends with boiled raging pack of intoxicated baboons or smoked shady parole officer. White wines range in flavor from baby butt smooth to smarmy. The best wines are made by peasants in the overly used restroom at Brian's Burrito Palace from the juice of ripe lady of the evening high heels by putting them in vats and squashing them with their swarthy feet. This is what gives wine its week-old-diaper-stinky aroma.
Here are a few rules: 1) Always serve white wine in crusty glass at termite-infested peg leg temperature. 2) Never serve burgundy with fried leather bondage outfits. 3) Wines should always be drunk sloppily or you're liable to end up with a crispy like bacon stomach.
elasticwaistbandlady said...
A good wine, served saddlebag-clenchingly, can make any meal a truly blue like Blue Velvet occasion. The red wines have a white and nerdy flavor that blends with boiled dollar store guillotines or smoked coconut shrimp balls. White wines range in flavor from turbo-charged farting to size XXX Daisy Duke-wearing. The best wines are made by peasants in John Malkovich's head from the juice of ripe creepy angel head ornaments by putting them in vats and squashing them with their monacle-peeping feet. This is what gives wine its cootie-headed aroma.
Here are a few rules: 1) Always serve white wine in a candy-corn-colored vomit-covered glass at curdled milk mustache temperature. 2) Never serve burgundy with fried red-eyed zombie anteaters. 3) Wines should always be drunk lollygaggingly or you're liable to end up with a ladybug-infested stomach.
Dawnyel said...
A good wine, served happily, can make any meal a truly flat occasion. The red wines have a perky flavor that blends with boiled toes or smoked lid. White wines range in flavor from googly to burgundy. The best wines are made by peasants in the Pacific Ocean from the juice of ripe suits by putting them in vats and squashing them with their dark feet. This is what gives wine its smelly aroma.
Here are a few rules: 1) Always serve white wine in a bland glass at cleavage temperature. 2) Never serve burgundy with fried restaurants. 3) Wines should always be drunk weakly or you're liable to end up with a round stomach.
glittersmama said...
A good wine, served slyly, can make any meal a truly grainy occasion. The red wines have a brown flavor that blends with boiled seat backs or smoked seat belt. White wines range in flavor from matted to dry. The best wines are made by peasants in Las Vegas from the juice of ripe tray tables by putting them in vats and squashing them with their smooth feet. This is what gives wine its silky aroma.
Here are a few rules: 1) Always serve white wine in a shiny glass at tarmac temperature. 2) Never serve burgundy with fried terminals. 3) Wines should always be drunk smoothly or you're liable to end up with a ratted stomach.
b. said...
A good wine, served heavily, can make any meal a truly brisk occasion. The red wines have a savory flavor that blends with boiled cheeks or smoked pen. White wines range in flavor from crispy to flaky. The best wines are made by peasants in Cornpone, Alabama from the juice of ripe teeth by putting them in vats and squashing them with their missing feet. This is what gives wine its drunk aroma.
Here are a few rules: 1) Always serve white wine in a chipper glass at chunk temperature. 2) Never serve burgundy with fried fingertips. 3) Wines should always be drunk suddenly or you're liable to end up with a ruffled stomach.
Thanks for playing, everyone! :) I have a cold and I'm going back to bed.
A good wine, served (adverb), can make any meal a truly (adjective) occasion. The red wines have a (adjective) flavor that blends with boiled (plural noun) or smoked (noun). White wines range in flavor from (adjective) to (adjective). The best wines are made by peasants in (geographical location) from the juice of ripe (plural noun) by putting them in vats and squashing them with their (adjective) feet. This is what gives wine its (adjective) aroma.
Here are a few rules: 1) Always serve white wine in a (adjective) glass at (noun) temperature. 2) Never serve burgundy with fried (plural noun). 3) Wines should always be drunk (adverb) or you're liable to end up with a (adjective) stomach.
Heffalump said...
A good wine, served craftily, can make any meal a truly superior occasion. The red wines have a green flavor that blends with boiled egg salad sandwiches or smoked rabbit. White wines range in flavor from superfast to whipped cream-like. The best wines are made by peasants in Mt. Hood from the juice of ripe mashed potatoes by putting them in vats and squashing them with their crispy feet. This is what gives wine its scorched aroma.
Here are a few rules: 1) Always serve white wine in a tantalizing glass at drumstick temperature. 2) Never serve burgundy with fried cymbals. 3) Wines should always be drunk crashingly or you're liable to end up with a loud stomach.
Kayelyn said...
A good wine, served stunningly, can make any meal a truly fiery occasion. The red wines have a loud flavor that blends with boiled cheering frozen snowmen or smoked ice cold pop cooler. White wines range in flavor from big massive empty to dirty. The best wines are made by peasants in Provo's Rock Canyon from the juice of ripe socks by putting them in vats and squashing them with their grotesque feet. This is what gives wine its red aroma.
Here are a few rules: 1) Always serve white wine in a bright glass at buried-in-leaves backyard temperature. 2) Never serve burgundy with fried very tall trees. 3) Wines should always be drunk annoyingly or you're liable to end up with a chilled stomach.
Thorny Tree Lady said...
A good wine, served daintily, can make any meal a truly ruby red occasion. The red wines have a Miss Clairol #33 red flavor that blends with boiled Disney Princesses or smoked Ariel's purple conch shell bra. White wines range in flavor from dizzyingly stupid to sickeningly sweet. The best wines are made by peasants in Cinderella's castle at Disneyland Paris from the juice of ripe Jasmine's egg-shaped gold earrings by putting them in vats and squashing them with their commercially sponsored feet. This is what gives wine its pseudo-sultry aroma.
Here are a few rules: 1) Always serve white wine in a smart as a whip glass at Belle's Library temperature. 2) Never serve burgundy with fried Seven Dwarfs. 3) Wines should always be drunk happily or you're liable to end up with a squeaky as Snow White's voice stomach.
Rebecca said...
A good wine, served nastily, can make any meal a truly green occasion. The red wines have a lick-worthy flavor that blends with boiled rubber duckies or smoked gas stove. White wines range in flavor from whirling dervishly to puffy sweater-like. The best wines are made by peasants in Mount Wannahockaloogie from the juice of ripe crocheted cornucopias by putting them in vats and squashing them with their sticky feet. This is what gives wine its bat-like aroma.
Here are a few rules: 1) Always serve white wine in a hairy glass at Yeti temperature. 2) Never serve burgundy with fried pea pods. 3) Wines should always be drunk lovingly or you're liable to end up with a nosehairish stomach.
(Hey Millie, I keep forgetting to ask you which variation of list you prefer to work with--one that keeps the description of the words (adverb, noun, etc) or madlib words only.)
(I prefer just the Mad Lib words. Thanks for asking! You're so sweet.)
Physcokity said...
A good wine, served creepily, can make any meal a truly devoid occasion. The red wines have an eerie flavor that blends with boiled super fluffy lab rats or smoked corn. White wines range in flavor from dark to dank. The best wines are made by peasants in King Tut's Tomb from the juice of ripe sarcophagi by putting them in vats and squashing them with their itsy bitsy feet. This is what gives wine its teenie weenie aroma.
Here are a few rules: 1) Always serve white wine in a yellow glass at polka-dot bikini temperature. 2) Never serve burgundy with fried sand crabs. 3) Wines should always be drunk miserly or you're liable to end up with a slap happy stomach.
liz said...
A good wine, served childishly, can make any meal a truly blonde occasion. The red wines have a small flavor that blends with boiled slippers or smoked glove. White wines range in flavor from darling to impatient. The best wines are made by peasants in Utah from the juice of ripe dishes by putting them in vats and squashing them with their cute feet. This is what gives wine its tiny aroma.
Here are a few rules: 1) Always serve white wine in a funny glass at finger temperature. 2) Never serve burgundy with fried trains. 3) Wines should always be drunk annoyingly or you're liable to end up with a green stomach.
Mel Smell said...
A good wine, served loogie-hockingly, can make any meal a truly walks like an ape occasion. The red wines have a talks like a goat flavor that blends with boiled uniboob-having aerobics queens or smoked briny butt nectar. White wines range in flavor from asking for it to furry-cheeked. The best wines are made by peasants in MySisterIsMyGrandma, Alabama from the juice of ripe people who fart on every step of the stairs by putting them in vats and squashing them with their slapped-with-a-toilet-water-soaked-tampon feet. This is what gives wine its penny-pooping aroma.
Here are a few rules: 1) Always serve white wine in a swings like old lady waddle glass at foot fat piercing temperature. 2) Never serve burgundy with fried prosthetic dog leg wheels. 3) Wines should always be drunk dirty diaper-slingingly or you're liable to end up with a brown teeth-having stomach.
Tori :) said...
A good wine, served disgustingly, can make any meal a truly slippery occasion. The red wines have an empty flavor that blends with boiled fuzzy socks or smoked popsicle. White wines range in flavor from urine-yellow to poo-brown. The best wines are made by peasants in Cybertron from the juice of ripe hairs by putting them in vats and squashing them with their pokey feet. This is what gives wine its limp aroma.
Here are a few rules: 1) Always serve white wine in an upside-down glass at cat tail temperature. 2) Never serve burgundy with fried sandpaper. 3) Wines should always be drunk roughly or you're liable to end up with a sparkly stomach.
Carrie said...
A good wine, served sneakily, can make any meal a truly adorable occasion. The red wines have a purple flavor that blends with boiled bunnies or smoked bulldozer. White wines range in flavor from loud to redneck. The best wines are made by peasants in Paris from the juice of ripe slippers by putting them in vats and squashing them with their fuzzy feet. This is what gives wine its obnoxious aroma.
Here are a few rules: 1) Always serve white wine in a harmonious glass at bell temperature. 2) Never serve burgundy with fried farmers. 3) Wines should always be drunk quickly or you're liable to end up with a harmful stomach.
FluffyChicky said...
A good wine, served hatefully, can make any meal a truly old lady hair blue occasion. The red wines have a smells like Teen Spirit flavor that blends with boiled raging pack of intoxicated baboons or smoked shady parole officer. White wines range in flavor from baby butt smooth to smarmy. The best wines are made by peasants in the overly used restroom at Brian's Burrito Palace from the juice of ripe lady of the evening high heels by putting them in vats and squashing them with their swarthy feet. This is what gives wine its week-old-diaper-stinky aroma.
Here are a few rules: 1) Always serve white wine in crusty glass at termite-infested peg leg temperature. 2) Never serve burgundy with fried leather bondage outfits. 3) Wines should always be drunk sloppily or you're liable to end up with a crispy like bacon stomach.
elasticwaistbandlady said...
A good wine, served saddlebag-clenchingly, can make any meal a truly blue like Blue Velvet occasion. The red wines have a white and nerdy flavor that blends with boiled dollar store guillotines or smoked coconut shrimp balls. White wines range in flavor from turbo-charged farting to size XXX Daisy Duke-wearing. The best wines are made by peasants in John Malkovich's head from the juice of ripe creepy angel head ornaments by putting them in vats and squashing them with their monacle-peeping feet. This is what gives wine its cootie-headed aroma.
Here are a few rules: 1) Always serve white wine in a candy-corn-colored vomit-covered glass at curdled milk mustache temperature. 2) Never serve burgundy with fried red-eyed zombie anteaters. 3) Wines should always be drunk lollygaggingly or you're liable to end up with a ladybug-infested stomach.
Dawnyel said...
A good wine, served happily, can make any meal a truly flat occasion. The red wines have a perky flavor that blends with boiled toes or smoked lid. White wines range in flavor from googly to burgundy. The best wines are made by peasants in the Pacific Ocean from the juice of ripe suits by putting them in vats and squashing them with their dark feet. This is what gives wine its smelly aroma.
Here are a few rules: 1) Always serve white wine in a bland glass at cleavage temperature. 2) Never serve burgundy with fried restaurants. 3) Wines should always be drunk weakly or you're liable to end up with a round stomach.
glittersmama said...
A good wine, served slyly, can make any meal a truly grainy occasion. The red wines have a brown flavor that blends with boiled seat backs or smoked seat belt. White wines range in flavor from matted to dry. The best wines are made by peasants in Las Vegas from the juice of ripe tray tables by putting them in vats and squashing them with their smooth feet. This is what gives wine its silky aroma.
Here are a few rules: 1) Always serve white wine in a shiny glass at tarmac temperature. 2) Never serve burgundy with fried terminals. 3) Wines should always be drunk smoothly or you're liable to end up with a ratted stomach.
b. said...
A good wine, served heavily, can make any meal a truly brisk occasion. The red wines have a savory flavor that blends with boiled cheeks or smoked pen. White wines range in flavor from crispy to flaky. The best wines are made by peasants in Cornpone, Alabama from the juice of ripe teeth by putting them in vats and squashing them with their missing feet. This is what gives wine its drunk aroma.
Here are a few rules: 1) Always serve white wine in a chipper glass at chunk temperature. 2) Never serve burgundy with fried fingertips. 3) Wines should always be drunk suddenly or you're liable to end up with a ruffled stomach.
Thanks for playing, everyone! :) I have a cold and I'm going back to bed.
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