Vacation Want Ads

DRIVER AVAILABLE. Are you planning a trip to (a city)? I will drive your (noun). I am a person of (adjective) character and a graduate of (a school). I have been (verb ending in ING) for twelve years.

MOTHER (name of girl) offers you (adjective) accommodations in her (adjective) home. Only $10 per (something alive) for (noun) and breakfast.

DO YOU NEED A HOUSE SITTER? While you are (verb ending in ING) around the country, who is looking after your (adjective) house? Burglars could steal your (plural noun). Who will feed your pet (animal, plural)? We will (adverb) take care of everything. Call (noun) Sitters Unlimited.

Suzanne said...
DRIVER AVAILABLE. Are you planning a trip to Salt Lake? I will drive your red. I am a person of hot character and a graduate of Utah State University. I have been running for twelve years.

MOTHER Madonna offers you wet accommodations in her sticky home. Only $10 per weed for white and breakfast.

DO YOU NEED A HOUSE SITTER? While you are sleeping around the country, who is looking after your humid house? Burglars could steal your buses. Who will feed your pet kitties? We will knowingly take care of everything. Call Blue Sitters Unlimited.

FluffyChicky said...
DRIVER AVAILABLE. Are you planning a trip to Armpit-Fartopolis? I will drive your shoe. I am a person of lip-smacking character and a graduate of Bride of Frankenstein School of Hair Design. I have been slapping for twelve years.

MOTHER Gargantuan Gertrude offers you cheap accommodations in her putrid home. Only $10 per creeping crud for megaphone and breakfast.

DO YOU NEED A HOUSE SITTER? While you are canoodling around the country, who is looking after your hairy house? Burglars could steal your air guitars. Who will feed your pet gremlins? We will heavily take care of everything. Call Grunties Sitters Unlimited.

Sassy said:
DRIVER AVAILABLE. Are you planning a trip to New York? I will drive your Jake. I am a person of hairy character and a graduate of Dixon Middle School. I have been running for twelve years.

MOTHER Kenzie offers you sunburned accommodations in her fluffy home. Only $10 per ant for booger and breakfast.

DO YOU NEED A HOUSE SITTER? While you are pooping around the country, who is looking after your green house? Burglars could steal your carpets. Who will feed your pet cats? We will greenly take care of everything. Call Billy-Bob-Joe Sitters Unlimited.

Oldest said:
DRIVER AVAILABLE. Are you planning a trip to Timbuktoo? I will drive your Home Depot. I am a person of sunburned character and a graduate of Cosmetology school. I have been jumping for twelve years.

MOTHER Leigh offers you smiley accommodations in her spectacular home. Only $10 per grass for cows blood and breakfast.

DO YOU NEED A HOUSE SITTER? While you are driving around the country, who is looking after your pathetic house? Burglars could steal your pipes. Who will feed your pet Ligers? We will surprisingly take care of everything. Call Sewer Pipe Sitters Unlimited.

Frog said:
DRIVER AVAILABLE. Are you planning a trip to San Francisco? I will drive your pain. I am a person of sweet character and a graduate of Aesthetics. I have been flying for twelve years.

MOTHER Lisa offers you bright accommodations in her soft home. Only $10 per ladybug for car and breakfast.

DO YOU NEED A HOUSE SITTER? While you are swimming around the country, who is looking after your small house? Burglars could steal your beds. Who will feed your pet kitties? We will lovingly take care of everything. Call Apartment Sitters Unlimited.

Klin said:
DRIVER AVAILABLE. Are you planning a trip to Atlantis? I will drive your nail gun. I am a person of hawt character and a graduate of School of Clowns in the Making. I have been fun-sucking for twelve years.

MOTHER Tabitha offers you fragile accommodations in her busy home. Only $10 per snake for video game and breakfast.

DO YOU NEED A HOUSE SITTER? While you are spoiling around the country, who is looking after your messy house? Burglars could steal your poops. Who will feed your pet lizards? We will freakishly take care of everything. Call Candle Sitters Unlimited.

Millie said...
DRIVER AVAILABLE. Are you planning a trip to Drool Bib, Florida? I will drive your armpit whisker. I am a person of squat character and a graduate of Aunt Trudy's Home for Unwed Teens. I have been swaying for twelve years.

MOTHER Ursula offers you ruffly accommodations in her piquant home. Only $10 per Jenny Meyer's Jell-o for escaped evil bunny eating everyone's garden plants and breakfast.

DO YOU NEED A HOUSE SITTER? While you are skinny-dipping around the country, who is looking after your Studebaker-obsessed house? Burglars could steal your toaster cozies. Who will feed your pet shrimp? We will vehemently take care of everything. Call Teepee Doorbell Sitters Unlimited.

Thorny Tree Lady said...
DRIVER AVAILABLE. Are you planning a trip to Shangri La? I will drive your pencil. I am a person of slimy character and a graduate of BYU. I have been coughing for twelve years.

MOTHER Whining Winnefred offers you putrid accommodations in her angry home. Only $10 per gila monster for mosquito bite and breakfast.

DO YOU NEED A HOUSE SITTER? While you are ralphing around the country, who is looking after your frictionless house? Burglars could steal your Advil Caplets. Who will feed your pet undomesticated equines? We will cunningly take care of everything. Call Crazed LOST Fan Sitters Unlimited.