Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Dialogue Between Tourist and Souvenir Salesperson

Played by (boy in room) and (girl in room).

BOY: Hello there, Miss. I am looking for some postal (plural noun) that I can mail back to my (plural noun) in (a town).
GIRL: We have some very (adjective) cards. Would you like some with pictures of our local (noun) or with pictures of (plural noun) growing along the beach?
BOY: I would like five of those that show my (adjective) hotel.
GIRL: Alright. Now how about a bumper sticker that says "(a city), America's greatest little (vegetable)"?
BOY: No thanks. But I would like to see one of those (color) hats with the (noun) on top.
GIRL: Okay. Here. My, you look just like a (noun).
BOY: Good. I'll take it. Now if you can sell me some fourteen-cent (plural noun), I'll let all my friends back home know what a/an (adjective) time I am having.

Millie said...
Played by Madmartigan and Sorsha.

BOY: Hello there, Miss. I am looking for some postal apes hyped up on candy and fire water that I can mail back to my grandma trampolines in Burnt Corn, Alabama.
GIRL: We have some very misspelled cards. Would you like some with pictures of our local whale tail tattoo or with pictures of Percocet tablets growing along the beach?
BOY: I would like five of those that show my holier-than-thou hotel.
GIRL: Alright. Now how about a bumper sticker that says "Madrid, America's greatest little radish"?
BOY: No thanks. But I would like to see one of those mint green hats with the disproportionately large noggin on top.
GIRL: Okay. Here. My, you look just like fingernail ooze.
BOY: Good. I'll take it. Now if you can sell me some fourteen-cent naughty distractions, I'll let all my friends back home know what an on guard time I am having.

Lt Col Samantha Carter said...
Played by Tiger Woods and Kate Gosselin.

BOY: Hello there, Miss. I am looking for some postal seashells that I can mail back to my tourists in Hope, Arkansas.
GIRL: We have some very appetizing cards. Would you like some with pictures of our local cutting board or with pictures of pretzels growing along the beach?
BOY: I would like five of those that show my chocolate-coated hotel.
GIRL: Alright. Now how about a bumper sticker that says "Munchkin City, America's greatest little asparagus"?
BOY: No thanks. But I would like to see one of those vermilion hats with the ingrown toenail on top.
GIRL: Okay. Here. My, you look just like a wet bandaid.
BOY: Good. I'll take it. Now if you can sell me some fourteen-cent earplugs, I'll let all my friends back home know what a lice-infested time I am having.

Heffalump said...
Played by Pedro and Maxine.

BOY: Hello there, Miss. I am looking for some postal vitamins that I can mail back to my gardening tools in Ephrata.
GIRL: We have some very piercing cards. Would you like some with pictures of our local eye or with pictures of fuel injectors growing along the beach?
BOY: I would like five of those that show my enlightening hotel.
GIRL: Alright. Now how about a bumper sticker that says "Dodge, America's greatest little Swiss chard"?
BOY: No thanks. But I would like to see one of those cornflower blue hats with the pinky finger on top.
GIRL: Okay. Here. My, you look just like navel lint.
BOY: Good. I'll take it. Now if you can sell me some fourteen-cent popcicle sticks, I'll let all my friends back home know what a larger than life time I am having.

Klin said...
Played by Dr. Jekyll and Madonna.

BOY: Hello there, Miss. I am looking for some postal scattered dog toys that I can mail back to my poor dead fishies in Mayberry.
GIRL: We have some very life-like cards. Would you like some with pictures of our local child of mine or with pictures of freedoms in peril growing along the beach?
BOY: I would like five of those that show my blustery hotel.
GIRL: Alright. Now how about a bumper sticker that says "San Francisco, America's greatest little kohlrabi"?
BOY: No thanks. But I would like to see one of those orange hats with the ringing telephone on top.
GIRL: Okay. Here. My, you look just like a Wii.
BOY: Good. I'll take it. Now if you can sell me some fourteen-cent fantabulous speakers, I'll let all my friends back home know what a disobedient time I am having.

2 comments:

Heffalump said...

Burnt Corn...I see you have been watching Who Do You Think You Are...

Klin said...

"My, you look just like fingernail ooze." Now THAT'S a complement if I ever heard one.

Fuel injectors grow along the beach?! Who knew?

I'll take some 14 cent sneakers. I can afford those.


You posted early. I had to check my calendar cause I wasn't sure if it was Friday yet. LOL