Uncle Dudley's Farm #1

My dad says Uncle Dudley's favorite expression is "The early (noun) catches the (noun)," and boy is Dad right. When we stay at Uncle Dudley's (adjective) farm, he drags us out of bed even before the rooster (verb ending in S) or the (noun) comes up. And right after we eat a/an (adjective) breakfast, we have to milk the cows, feed the (plural noun), and groom the (plural noun). Only when we've finished our (plural noun), can we go out and play hide and (verb), go bare (part of body) riding on the horses, or even skinny-(verb ending in ING) in the old swimming (noun). Dad thinks Uncle Dudley is a/an (adjective) (noun), but to tell the (adjective) truth, I love spending time on his (noun).

Millie said...
My dad says Uncle Dudley's favorite expression is "The early bicycle rikshaw catches the hemorrhoid sufferer," and boy is Dad right. When we stay at Uncle Dudley's slippery when wet farm, he drags us out of bed even before the rooster screeches or the fork bent by mind power comes up. And right after we eat a Rastafarian breakfast, we have to milk the cows, feed the Hungarians, and groom the droplets. Only when we've finished our armpit noises, can we go out and play hide and twitch, go bare eyelid fat riding on the horses, or even skinny-barking in the old swimming giant windmill. Dad thinks Uncle Dudley is a nose-piercing girl who can't say "Seattle" correctly, but to tell the spoons-playing truth, I love spending time on his creep under the stairs.

Thorny Tree Lady said...
My dad says Uncle Dudley's favorite expression is "The early child who won't listen to his mother catches the fingernail longer than the other 9," and boy is Dad right. When we stay at Uncle Dudley's krunktastic farm, he drags us out of bed even before the rooster screams or the boo-boo requiring three Dora Band-Aids comes up. And right after we eat an elevated breakfast, we have to milk the cows, feed the baby bunnies, and groom the sparkling blackberry IZZE drinks. Only when we've finished our Dancing With the Stars judges' paddles, can we go out and play hide and freak, go bare tastebud riding on the horses, or even skinny-yawning in the old swimming car that's broken-down on the side of I-5. Dad thinks Uncle Dudley is a snifferific celebrity Twitter-er, but to tell the itchy truth, I love spending time on his neighbor who everyone said "kept to himself" until that night he went ballistic and knocked over everyone's garbage cans.

FluffyChicky said...
My dad says Uncle Dudley's favorite expression is "The early Prospector Pete and his lazy eye catches the slightly used whoopee cushion," and boy is Dad right. When we stay at Uncle Dudley's delicious farm, he drags us out of bed even before the rooster performs or the spamburger comes up. And right after we eat a splendiferous breakfast, we have to milk the cows, feed the hairy hippo feet, and groom the toilet seat sculptures. Only when we've finished our arugula sprouts, can we go out and play hide and squish, go bare uvula riding on the horses, or even skinny-Googling in the old swimming Knight who says Ni. Dad thinks Uncle Dudley is a mind-numbing old gray mare (who ain’t what she used to be), but to tell the spanktastic truth, I love spending time on his big steaming bowl of Finnish fish-eye soup.

Klin said...
My dad says Uncle Dudley's favorite expression is "The early candle catches the stinky sneaker," and boy is Dad right. When we stay at Uncle Dudley's electromagnectic farm, he drags us out of bed even before the rooster pimps or the chew toy comes up. And right after we eat a pus-like breakfast, we have to milk the cows, feed the lost keys, and groom the reading glasses. Only when we've finished our zoo annimals, can we go out and play hide and drop, go bare pharynx riding on the horses, or even skinny-surprising in the old swimming spazzy girl. Dad thinks Uncle Dudley is a freakish loaded dishwasher, but to tell the geek-like truth, I love spending time on his hand sanitizer.

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Millie said...
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Jumping Monkey said...
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Klin said...
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Sassy said...
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Suzanne said...
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Thorny Tree Lady said...
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Rachael said...
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The Prom

If there's a melody you can't seem to get out of your (part of the body) or a song running through your (part of the body), then bring your feet to this year's (adjective) prom. As usual, our (noun) will be held in our high school (noun). A dress code will be observed. No one will be admitted wearing (verb, past tense) or torn (plural noun). Girls must wear a/an (noun) and boys must wear a dress shirt and a/an (noun). As always, hot (plural noun) will be served, and there will be (adjective) prizes and an award for the best-(verb ending in ING) couple. The (adjective) dance committee is also proud to announce that every girl who attends will receive a/an (noun) to pin to her (noun), and every boy will receive a complimentary (noun).

Koda Bear said...
If there's a melody you can't seem to get out of your tongue or a song running through your Adam's apple, then bring your feet to this year's confused prom. As usual, our dog will be held in our high school cat. A dress code will be observed. No one will be admitted wearing jumped or torn spoons. Girls must wear a pencil and boys must wear a dress shirt and a shoe. As always, hot bowls will be served, and there will be blue prizes and an award for the best-running couple. The squeaky dance committee is also proud to announce that every girl who attends will receive a Koda Bear to pin to her sock, and every boy will receive a complimentary Pouncey Cat.

Sassy said...
If there's a melody you can't seem to get out of your ear or a song running through your toe, then bring your feet to this year's brown prom. As usual, our backpack will be held in our high school Coco. A dress code will be observed. No one will be admitted wearing ran or torn shoes. Girls must wear toast and boys must wear a dress shirt and a headband. As always, hot bananas will be served, and there will be green prizes and an award for the best-pooping couple. The fluffy dance committee is also proud to announce that every girl who attends will receive a sock to pin to her blanket, and every boy will receive a complimentary picture frame.

Tree Monkey said...
If there's a melody you can't seem to get out of your foot or a song running through your finger, then bring your feet to this year's Dutch prom. As usual, our monkey butt will be held in our high school toy. A dress code will be observed. No one will be admitted wearing played or torn cat toys. Girls must wear a Sassy and boys must wear a dress shirt and a wrench. As always, hot dog toys will be served, and there will be blue & yellow prizes and an award for the best-farting couple. The polka dot dance committee is also proud to announce that every girl who attends will receive a Sox to pin to her grass, and every boy will receive a complimentary school.

Klin said...
If there's a melody you can't seem to get out of your elbow or a song running through your earlobe, then bring your feet to this year's strained prom. As usual, our cereal will be held in our high school wedding. A dress code will be observed. No one will be admitted wearing engaged or torn details, details, details. Girls must wear money and boys must wear a dress shirt and a work. As always, hot good times will be served, and there will be crepuscular prizes and an award for the best-planning couple. The gut-splitting dance committee is also proud to announce that every girl who attends will receive a California to pin to her ocean, and every boy will receive a complimentary sunshine.

Millie said...
If there's a melody you can't seem to get out of your spank-getter or a song running through your stink-maker, then bring your feet to this year's pasty white prom. As usual, our covert nostril explorer will be held in our high school clogging shoe. A dress code will be observed. No one will be admitted wearing swatted or torn dipwads. Girls must wear a perpetually tardy child and boys must wear a dress shirt and a trampoline spring. As always, hot Hare Krishnas at the airport will be served, and there will be sneeze-inducing prizes and an award for the best-wafting couple. The always a bridesmaid, never a bride dance committee is also proud to announce that every girl who attends will receive a parsley allergy victim to pin to her kitty toe ring, and every boy will receive a complimentary escaped mental patient.

Thorny Tree Lady said...
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Meet Your Dream Person

If you are desirous of making new (plural noun) or meeting some (adjective) people, take a few (plural noun) out of your (adjective) day and answer the following questionnaire. In less time than it takes to blink a/an (part of body), your life will be changed (adverb) by your (adjective) answers.

* Do you ever confide in a/an (adjective) friend that you are a lonely (noun)?
* Are you too shy and (adjective) to approach a stranger and say (weird sound)?
* Would you rather stay at home and (verb) television than go out on a blind (noun)?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, you have taken one giant (noun) toward meeting the person of your (plural noun). To make this a reality, mail the enclosed self-addressed, postage-paid (noun) to us immediately.

Millie said...
If you are desirous of making new Actifed hallucinations or meeting some manicure-needing people, take a few people who dress their dogs in matching outfits out of your crap-covered day and answer the following questionnaire. In less time than it takes to blink a wenis, your life will be changed fraudulently by your hypnotized to cluck like a chicken answers.

* Do you ever confide in an overgrown friend that you are a lonely pig snout?
* Are you too shy and shocking to approach a stranger and say "perrrrrrrrp"?
* Would you rather stay at home and butt-clap television than go out on a blind Batmobile?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, you have taken one giant angry earwig toward meeting the person of your curmudgeons. To make this a reality, mail the enclosed self-addressed, postage-paid corrective lens to us immediately.

Thorny Tree Lady said...
If you are desirous of making new Ming Vase forgeries or meeting some agonizingly beautiful people, take a few Ashton Kutcher's Twitter followers out of your stoned-outta-my-mind day and answer the following questionnaire. In less time than it takes to blink an epiglottis, your life will be changed unwittingly by your sickeningly sweet answers.

* Do you ever confide in a gravel-voiced friend that you are a lonely rusty nail?
* Are you too shy and cautiously optimistic to approach a stranger and say "blooOOOPP!"?
* Would you rather stay at home and dine-n-dash television than go out on a blind Squilliam Fancypants?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, you have taken one giant broken lightbulb toward meeting the person of your geriatric gymnasts. To make this a reality, mail the enclosed self-addressed, postage-paid Keith Urban's New CD to us immediately.

Paul Revere

Paul Revere was born in Boston, (a state) in 1735. His father taught him to work with metals, and he soon became a/an (adjective) (noun). He was a soldier in the French and (a nationality) War and was at the famous Boston (noun) Party when Americans dressed as Indians dumped tons of (a liquid) into the ocean. On April 18, 1775, Paul Revere waited in (a place) for a signal light from a church tower. The signal was to be one if by (noun), two if by (noun).

When he got the message, he mounted his faithful (noun) and rode off (adverb). On the way he kept yelling, "The (plural noun) are coming! The (same plural noun) are coming!" This was the beginning of the American War for Independence from King (a celebrity).

Thorny Tree Lady said...
Paul Revere was born in Boston, Wyoming in 1735. His father taught him to work with metals, and he soon became a naked as a jaybird Val Kilmer. He was a soldier in the French and Vulcan War and was at the famous Boston dull pencil with a half-eaten eraser Party when Americans dressed as Indians dumped tons of Coke Zero into the ocean. On April 18, 1775, Paul Revere waited in Sea World for a signal light from a church tower. The signal was to be one if by sleeping baby, two if by picture of Weird Al kissing Spongebob.

When he got the message, he mounted his faithful pillow that's beckoning me to lay my head upon it and rode off swimmingly. On the way he kept yelling, "The losers who don't check the spare tire before going on vacation are coming! The losers who don't check the spare tire before going on vacation are coming!" This was the beginning of the American War for Independence from King Barack Obama.

Klin said...
Paul Revere was born in Boston, Georgia in 1735. His father taught him to work with metals, and he soon became a too loud for my ears tower. He was a soldier in the French and Croatian War and was at the famous Boston Mustang Party when Americans dressed as Indians dumped tons of black strap molasses into the ocean. On April 18, 1775, Paul Revere waited at the beach for a signal light from a church tower. The signal was to be one if by cruise, two if by town.

When he got the message, he mounted his faithful rain and rode off twiddly. On the way he kept yelling, "The shoes are coming! The shoes are coming!" This was the beginning of the American War for Independence from King Patrick Swayze.

Millie said...
Paul Revere was born in Boston, Complete Dippiness in 1735. His father taught him to work with metals, and he soon became a petrified headphone cord. He was a soldier in the French and Botswanian War and was at the famous Boston "Dueling Banjos" participant Party when Americans dressed as Indians dumped tons of dog dribble into the ocean. On April 18, 1775, Paul Revere waited in Radio City Music Hall for a signal light from a church tower. The signal was to be one if by miscreant, two if by lowlife scum.

When he got the message, he mounted his faithful cop with a bad attitude and rode off loquaciously. On the way he kept yelling, "The suspenders too stretched out to do any good are coming! The suspenders too stretched out to do any good are coming!" This was the beginning of the American War for Independence from King Captain Crunch.

Easter #1

Easter vacations usually fall around Easter time. The schools are closed and all the (plural noun) get (number) weeks off. The (adjective) teachers also get a vacation. There are a lot of things to do on Easter vacation. Some kids loaf around and watch the (noun). Others get outside and play (a game), while more ambitious students spend their time studying their (adjective) books so they will grow up to become (plural noun). Little kids also color (adjective) eggs.

Here's how you color an egg: First mix a package of (adjective) dye in a bowl full of (liquid). Then dip the (noun) in the bowl and rinse it off with (liquid). Then after it dries, you can paint on it with a brush. Then you show it to your friends who will say, "Boy, what a/an (adjective) egg!"

Millie said...
Easter vacations usually fall around Easter time. The schools are closed and all the earwig pinchers get 832 weeks off. The slapped teachers also get a vacation. There are a lot of things to do on Easter vacation. Some kids loaf around and watch the halitosis victim. Others get outside and play Twister, while more ambitious students spend their time studying their leaf-sprouting books so they will grow up to become geeks with terrible complexions. Little kids also color one-wheeled eggs.

Here's how you color an egg: First mix a package of black and unidentifiable dye in a bowl full of slop. Then dip the ketchup bottle that won't give it up in the bowl and rinse it off with slurp. Then after it dries, you can paint on it with a brush. Then you show it to your friends who will say, "Boy, what a sproingy egg!"

Thorny Tree Lady said...
Easter vacations usually fall around Easter time. The schools are closed and all the Ming vases get 815 weeks off. The overgrown teachers also get a vacation. There are a lot of things to do on Easter vacation. Some kids loaf around and watch the hyper-toothed smiling Relief Society President. Others get outside and play Spin-the-Bottle, while more ambitious students spend their time studying their quiet as a church mouse books so they will grow up to become Dilly-Bars. Little kids also color happy as a geek in a comic book shop eggs.

Here's how you color an egg: First mix a package of sedentary dye in a bowl full of Coke Zero. Then dip Joel McHale in the bowl and rinse him off with Tide with Bleach Alternative. Then after he dries, you can paint on him with a brush. Then you show him to your friends who will say, "Boy, what a baco-licious egg!"

The Space Shuttle

Commemorating the first space shuttle mission, April 12-14, 1981.

In 1981, the U.S. launched the first real Space (noun). It was called a/an (noun) Shuttle because it not only went up into (adjective) space, it also came back. It was named the "Columbia" and was piloted by two brave (plural noun). They had practiced (verb ending in ING) for two years and were expert (plural noun). The Columbia took off from (a city) using its powerful first stage (plural noun). At an altitude of (number) feet, it went into orbit around the (something round). After (number) orbits, the Shuttle landed (adverb) at (a place). It was a/an (adjective) day for the U.S. Space Program.

Thorny Tree Lady said...
In 1981, the U.S. launched the first real Space Freda's boss. It was called a Gail Stanwyck's towel Shuttle because it not only went up into extremely sudden space, it also came back. It was named the "Columbia" and was piloted by two brave elephant books. They had practiced dressing up as Little Bo Peep for two years and were expert Underhills. The Columbia took off from Provo using its powerful first stage wet married women. At an altitude of 1 foot, it went into orbit around Fat Sam's belly. After two orbits, the Shuttle landed Fletchily at The California Racquet Club. It was a Scotch-Romanian day for the U.S. Space Program.

Millie said...
In 1981, the U.S. launched the first real Space sweaty gym sock. It was called a Nasally Voice Shuttle because it not only went up into dippy space, it also came back. It was named the "Columbia" and was piloted by two brave Charles Nelson Reilley fans. They had practiced chomping for two years and were expert pink hangers. The Columbia took off from We're All Related, Alabama using its powerful first stage armpit whiskers. At an altitude of 2349 feet, it went into orbit around Caillou's big fat puddin' head. After 77 orbits, the Shuttle landed gesticulatingly at Burgerville. It was a slippery day for the U.S. Space Program.

Klin said...
In 1981, the U.S. launched the first real Space rockin' rockstar. It was called a hyper dog Shuttle because it not only went up into so-annoying-I'm-gonna-bop-ya-on-the-head space, it also came back. It was named the "Columbia" and was piloted by two brave piles of scrapbooks. They had practiced pounding for two years and were expert boxes of tile. The Columbia took off from Narnia using its powerful first stage mounds of fun. At an altitude of 7 feet, it went into orbit around the cul-de-sac. After 11 orbits, the Shuttle landed floppily at Disneyland. It was a cool and icy day for the U.S. Space Program.