7 adjectives
2 nouns
Person in room (female)
Adverb
Part of the body
Part of the body, plural
Monday, October 1, 2012
Friday, December 30, 2011
New Year's Resolutions 2012
1. I, (name of person in room), will (verb) every day at the gym for at least (number) minutes.
2. At the dinner table, I will eat only (number) servings of (noun).
3. I will watch only (adjective) television shows.
4. I will tell (name of person in room) that I think he/she is a/an (adjective) (noun).
5. I will ask my boss for a/an (number)-dollar raise.
6. I will admit that I have a/an (adjective) personality.
7. I will take my (noun) to (noun) at least once a month.
8. I will (verb) one book every (number) weeks.
9. I will try to lose at least (number) pounds.
10. I will return the (adjective) (plural noun) I borrowed from (person in room).
11. I will get on a (noun) and only spend (number) dollars a month.
Millie said...
1. I, Awful Topic Tina, will sway every day at the gym for at least two minutes.
2. At the dinner table, I will eat only fourteen servings of angst.
3. I will watch only tantalizing television shows.
4. I will tell Dripped-on Darryl that I think he is a licked-by-a-giraffe Jo-Ann Fabrics store.
5. I will ask my boss for a nineteen-dollar raise.
6. I will admit that I have a salt-makes-hyper personality.
7. I will take my ear earring to John Grisham fan at least once a month.
8. I will mimic one book every thirty weeks.
9. I will try to lose at least forty pounds.
10. I will return the after-Christmas relief experiencing shorts I borrowed from Seriously Slappy Sally.
11. I will get on a pre-existence and only spend forty-two dollars a month.
Heffalump said...
1. I, Kiki, will hand jive every day at the gym for at least 7 minutes.
2. At the dinner table, I will eat only 52 servings of Concord grape jelly.
3. I will watch only wobbly television shows.
4. I will tell Esmerelda that I think she is a satirical Gollum.
5. I will ask my boss for a 16-dollar raise.
6. I will admit that I have an expensive personality.
7. I will take my mashed potato to stocking lint at least once a month.
8. I will jump one book every 25 weeks.
9. I will try to lose at least 43 pounds.
10. I will return the personable jelly beans I borrowed from Smitty.
11. I will get on a wire whisk and only spend 88 dollars a month.
2. At the dinner table, I will eat only (number) servings of (noun).
3. I will watch only (adjective) television shows.
4. I will tell (name of person in room) that I think he/she is a/an (adjective) (noun).
5. I will ask my boss for a/an (number)-dollar raise.
6. I will admit that I have a/an (adjective) personality.
7. I will take my (noun) to (noun) at least once a month.
8. I will (verb) one book every (number) weeks.
9. I will try to lose at least (number) pounds.
10. I will return the (adjective) (plural noun) I borrowed from (person in room).
11. I will get on a (noun) and only spend (number) dollars a month.
Millie said...
1. I, Awful Topic Tina, will sway every day at the gym for at least two minutes.
2. At the dinner table, I will eat only fourteen servings of angst.
3. I will watch only tantalizing television shows.
4. I will tell Dripped-on Darryl that I think he is a licked-by-a-giraffe Jo-Ann Fabrics store.
5. I will ask my boss for a nineteen-dollar raise.
6. I will admit that I have a salt-makes-hyper personality.
7. I will take my ear earring to John Grisham fan at least once a month.
8. I will mimic one book every thirty weeks.
9. I will try to lose at least forty pounds.
10. I will return the after-Christmas relief experiencing shorts I borrowed from Seriously Slappy Sally.
11. I will get on a pre-existence and only spend forty-two dollars a month.
Heffalump said...
1. I, Kiki, will hand jive every day at the gym for at least 7 minutes.
2. At the dinner table, I will eat only 52 servings of Concord grape jelly.
3. I will watch only wobbly television shows.
4. I will tell Esmerelda that I think she is a satirical Gollum.
5. I will ask my boss for a 16-dollar raise.
6. I will admit that I have an expensive personality.
7. I will take my mashed potato to stocking lint at least once a month.
8. I will jump one book every 25 weeks.
9. I will try to lose at least 43 pounds.
10. I will return the personable jelly beans I borrowed from Smitty.
11. I will get on a wire whisk and only spend 88 dollars a month.
Monday, December 26, 2011
Friday, December 9, 2011
New York, New York
Falling in love with the Big (noun), especially at Christmas time, can happen in a/an (place) minute. Perhaps it comes when you and your (noun) stroll through Central Park after the trees and the (plural noun) are blanketed by a/an (adjective) snow (noun). Or maybe when you (verb) a corner and come upon a/an (adjective) vendor selling hot roasted (plural noun) and warming his (part of the body, plural) over the (adjective) flame. Maybe it happens when you first glimpse some (adjective) skaters bundled in warm (plural noun) gliding across the (adjective) ice of Rockefeller (noun). Who knows when you'll be smitten? All we know is, it will most (adverb) happen.
Klin said...
Falling in love with the Big Christmas Tree, especially at Christmas time, can happen in a BYU Marriott Center minute. Perhaps it comes when you and your Ford truck stroll through Central Park after the trees and the new tires are blanketed by a blubbering snow mountain height. Or maybe when you hang a corner and come upon a frozen vendor selling hot roasted Christmas lights and warming his toesies over the loud flame. Maybe it happens when you first glimpse some orange skaters bundled in warm teensy tiny kitties gliding across the crusty ice of Rockefeller Game Show Host. Who knows when you'll be smitten? All we know is, it will most utterly happen.
Heffalump said...
Falling in love with the Big Mini Doberman Pincher, especially at Christmas time, can happen in a Sarsparilla Sally's Swanky Saloon minute. Perhaps it comes when you and your personal chef stroll through Central Park after the trees and the lightsabers are blanketed by a pensive snow quiche. Or maybe when you shout at a corner and come upon an ear splitting vendor selling hot roasted chopsticks and warming his toes over the gargantuan flame. Maybe it happens when you first glimpse some impatient skaters bundled in warm clocks gliding across the disobedient ice of Rockefeller Secret Agent. Who knows when you'll be smitten? All we know is, it will most maddeningly happen.
Klin said...
Falling in love with the Big Christmas Tree, especially at Christmas time, can happen in a BYU Marriott Center minute. Perhaps it comes when you and your Ford truck stroll through Central Park after the trees and the new tires are blanketed by a blubbering snow mountain height. Or maybe when you hang a corner and come upon a frozen vendor selling hot roasted Christmas lights and warming his toesies over the loud flame. Maybe it happens when you first glimpse some orange skaters bundled in warm teensy tiny kitties gliding across the crusty ice of Rockefeller Game Show Host. Who knows when you'll be smitten? All we know is, it will most utterly happen.
Heffalump said...
Falling in love with the Big Mini Doberman Pincher, especially at Christmas time, can happen in a Sarsparilla Sally's Swanky Saloon minute. Perhaps it comes when you and your personal chef stroll through Central Park after the trees and the lightsabers are blanketed by a pensive snow quiche. Or maybe when you shout at a corner and come upon an ear splitting vendor selling hot roasted chopsticks and warming his toes over the gargantuan flame. Maybe it happens when you first glimpse some impatient skaters bundled in warm clocks gliding across the disobedient ice of Rockefeller Secret Agent. Who knows when you'll be smitten? All we know is, it will most maddeningly happen.
Monday, November 21, 2011
Friday, November 18, 2011
Chinese Dinner
I recently had dinner at a new Chinese restaurant. The cooking is (adjective) and the service is (adjective). The owner of the restaurant, (celebrity), suggested that for my first course I have sweet and (adjective) spare ribs, which is a specialty of the (noun). They were (adjective). For the next course, I was served a/an (adjective) (noun) soup. The main course consisted of Egg Foo (noun), lobster in (food) sauce, and pressed (food). For dessert, I ordered those famous Chinese (noun) cookies with sliced (food). But whenever I eat Chinese food, an hour later I feel (adjective) again.
Heffalump said...
I recently had dinner at a new Chinese restaurant. The cooking is fluffy and the service is ubiquitous. The owner of the restaurant, Hugh Jackman, suggested that for my first course I have sweet and self-centered spare ribs, which is a specialty of the Wii remote. They were charred. For the next course, I was served a feeble sideburns soup. The main course consisted of Egg Foo Corvette, lobster in egg salad sandwich sauce, and pressed creme brulee. For dessert, I ordered those famous Chinese school uniform cookies with sliced strained pears. But whenever I eat Chinese food, an hour later I feel flouncy again.
Millie said...
I recently had dinner at a new Chinese restaurant. The cooking is superior and loving it and the service is shower-needing. The owner of the restaurant, Gary Coleman, suggested that for my first course I have sweet and Snuggie-wearing spare ribs, which is a specialty of the saucy lass. They were ruffled like a 70s tux. For the next course, I was served an anxious about getting skirt caught in pantyhose ball of twine soup. The main course consisted of Egg Foo Band Geek, lobster in London broil sauce, and pressed peanut butter. For dessert, I ordered those famous Chinese three-footed cane cookies with sliced Funyuns. But whenever I eat Chinese food, an hour later I feel dropped as a baby again.
Heffalump said...
I recently had dinner at a new Chinese restaurant. The cooking is fluffy and the service is ubiquitous. The owner of the restaurant, Hugh Jackman, suggested that for my first course I have sweet and self-centered spare ribs, which is a specialty of the Wii remote. They were charred. For the next course, I was served a feeble sideburns soup. The main course consisted of Egg Foo Corvette, lobster in egg salad sandwich sauce, and pressed creme brulee. For dessert, I ordered those famous Chinese school uniform cookies with sliced strained pears. But whenever I eat Chinese food, an hour later I feel flouncy again.
Millie said...
I recently had dinner at a new Chinese restaurant. The cooking is superior and loving it and the service is shower-needing. The owner of the restaurant, Gary Coleman, suggested that for my first course I have sweet and Snuggie-wearing spare ribs, which is a specialty of the saucy lass. They were ruffled like a 70s tux. For the next course, I was served an anxious about getting skirt caught in pantyhose ball of twine soup. The main course consisted of Egg Foo Band Geek, lobster in London broil sauce, and pressed peanut butter. For dessert, I ordered those famous Chinese three-footed cane cookies with sliced Funyuns. But whenever I eat Chinese food, an hour later I feel dropped as a baby again.
Friday, November 11, 2011
Cave Exploring
If you like to go spatting in googly-eyed caves that are 157 feet underground, you should go to the constantly scratching Mammoth Caves located in Boogalagrium, Russia. Thousands of booger art display admiring kitty kutlets go there every summer. Crawling about in caves is called “spelunking.” And it is really a hair-lipped sport. But always go with a never wears pants that fit guide so you won’t get lost. Once in the cave, you will see beautiful spanked face red and pumpkin orange rocks and crystals. Huge bad advice giving things hang from the ceiling and are called “stalagtites.” Huge lingering bad smell providing things jut up from the floor and are called “stalagmites.” Caves are home for millions of wart picking bats. Bats can fly and look like can’t quit snorting rats. Spelunking is dangerous, so be sure to wear special shoes with spied on snowman builders on them and a hat with a battery-powered wooden leg named Smith. (by my sister)
Heffalump said...
If you like to go jogging in penultimate caves that are 67 feet underground, you should go to the Springy Mammoth Caves located in Petaluma. Thousands of towering Clown College graduates go there every summer. Crawling about in caves is called “spelunking.” And it is really an orange glazed sport. But always go with a sock-like guide so you won’t get lost. Once in the cave, you will see beautiful mauve and chartreuse rocks and crystals. Huge meandering things hang from the ceiling and are called “stalagtites.” Huge spiky things jut up from the floor and are called “stalagmites.” Caves are home for millions of Broadway-themed bats. Bats can fly and look like chocolate-covered rats. Spelunking is dangerous, so be sure to wear special shoes with Rubik's Cubes on them and a hat with a battery-powered cheesecake.
Klin said...
If you like to go swearing in obnoxious caves that are 7 feet underground, you should go to the Lazy Mammoth Caves located at BYU. Thousands of adorable baby toys go there every summer. Crawling about in caves is called “spelunking.” And it is really a hungry sport. But always go with a clean guide so you won’t get lost. Once in the cave, you will see beautiful yellow and orange rocks and crystals. Huge loud things hang from the ceiling and are called “stalagtites.” Huge happy things jut up from the floor and are called “stalagmites.” Caves are home for millions of frustrated bats. Bats can fly and look like super smart rats. Spelunking is dangerous, so be sure to wear special shoes with dog toys on them and a hat with a battery-powered fireplace.
Millie said...
If you like to go making fun in stopped up and bubbling caves that are 327 feet underground, you should go to the Ignorant of Platypuses Mammoth Caves located in Poison Spider, Wyoming. Thousands of Phineas and Ferb-obsessed beef tenderloins go there every summer. Crawling about in caves is called “spelunking.” And it is really a compulsive houseplant watering sport. But always go with a zombiefied guide so you won’t get lost. Once in the cave, you will see beautiful purple and neon blue rocks and crystals. Huge floating in midair things hang from the ceiling and are called “stalagtites.” Huge blackened things jut up from the floor and are called “stalagmites.” Caves are home for millions of stiff and stinky bats. Bats can fly and look like pink rats. Spelunking is dangerous, so be sure to wear special shoes with Christmas bonbons on them and a hat with battery-powered roadkill.
Heffalump said...
If you like to go jogging in penultimate caves that are 67 feet underground, you should go to the Springy Mammoth Caves located in Petaluma. Thousands of towering Clown College graduates go there every summer. Crawling about in caves is called “spelunking.” And it is really an orange glazed sport. But always go with a sock-like guide so you won’t get lost. Once in the cave, you will see beautiful mauve and chartreuse rocks and crystals. Huge meandering things hang from the ceiling and are called “stalagtites.” Huge spiky things jut up from the floor and are called “stalagmites.” Caves are home for millions of Broadway-themed bats. Bats can fly and look like chocolate-covered rats. Spelunking is dangerous, so be sure to wear special shoes with Rubik's Cubes on them and a hat with a battery-powered cheesecake.
Klin said...
If you like to go swearing in obnoxious caves that are 7 feet underground, you should go to the Lazy Mammoth Caves located at BYU. Thousands of adorable baby toys go there every summer. Crawling about in caves is called “spelunking.” And it is really a hungry sport. But always go with a clean guide so you won’t get lost. Once in the cave, you will see beautiful yellow and orange rocks and crystals. Huge loud things hang from the ceiling and are called “stalagtites.” Huge happy things jut up from the floor and are called “stalagmites.” Caves are home for millions of frustrated bats. Bats can fly and look like super smart rats. Spelunking is dangerous, so be sure to wear special shoes with dog toys on them and a hat with a battery-powered fireplace.
Millie said...
If you like to go making fun in stopped up and bubbling caves that are 327 feet underground, you should go to the Ignorant of Platypuses Mammoth Caves located in Poison Spider, Wyoming. Thousands of Phineas and Ferb-obsessed beef tenderloins go there every summer. Crawling about in caves is called “spelunking.” And it is really a compulsive houseplant watering sport. But always go with a zombiefied guide so you won’t get lost. Once in the cave, you will see beautiful purple and neon blue rocks and crystals. Huge floating in midair things hang from the ceiling and are called “stalagtites.” Huge blackened things jut up from the floor and are called “stalagmites.” Caves are home for millions of stiff and stinky bats. Bats can fly and look like pink rats. Spelunking is dangerous, so be sure to wear special shoes with Christmas bonbons on them and a hat with battery-powered roadkill.
Friday, November 4, 2011
Political Speech
Ladies and gentlemen, on this (adjective) occasion it is a privilege to address such a (adjective)-looking group of (plural noun). I can tell from your smiling (plural noun) that you will support my (adjective) program in the coming election. I promise that, if elected, there wil be a (noun) in every (noun) and two (plural noun) in every garage. I want to warn you against my (adjective) opponent, Mr. (name of person). This man is nothing but a (adjective) (noun). He has a (adjective) character and is working (noun) in glove with the criminal element. If elected, I promise to eliminate vice. I will keep the (plural noun) off the city's streets. I will keep crooks from dipping their (plural noun) in the public till. I promise you (adjective) government, (adjective) taxes, and (adjective) schools.
Millie said...
Ladies and gentlemen, on this toner-swilling occasion it is a privilege to address such a threaded the wrong way-looking group of piggy banks. I can tell from your smiling tamales that you will support my itchy program in the coming election. I promise that, if elected, there will be a nudist who wears a tie to church in every sock monkey and two mismatched socks in every garage. I want to warn you against my s'more-eating opponent, Mr. Staunch Stench. This man is nothing but a slapped purple drunk. He has a tattling character and is working can of fruit cocktail in glove with the criminal element. If elected, I promise to eliminate vice. I will keep the 5-year-old binky enthusiasts off the city's streets. I will keep crooks from dipping their maggots in the public till. I promise you crunchified government, ape-like taxes, and shocked-by-jumper-cables schools.
Heffalump said...
Ladies and gentlemen, on this serendipitous occasion it is a privilege to address such a swell-looking group of garbanzo beans. I can tell from your smiling blackeyed peas that you will support my six foot long program in the coming election. I promise that, if elected, there will be a soup in every stew and two chickpeas in every garage. I want to warn you against my denture wearing opponent, Mr. Jack. This man is nothing but a spellbound bisque. He has a felicitous character and is working chowder in glove with the criminal element. If elected, I promise to eliminate vice. I will keep the kidney beans off the city's streets. I will keep crooks from dipping their lentils in the public till. I promise you smarmy government, envelope licking taxes, and swine sniffing schools.
Millie said...
Ladies and gentlemen, on this toner-swilling occasion it is a privilege to address such a threaded the wrong way-looking group of piggy banks. I can tell from your smiling tamales that you will support my itchy program in the coming election. I promise that, if elected, there will be a nudist who wears a tie to church in every sock monkey and two mismatched socks in every garage. I want to warn you against my s'more-eating opponent, Mr. Staunch Stench. This man is nothing but a slapped purple drunk. He has a tattling character and is working can of fruit cocktail in glove with the criminal element. If elected, I promise to eliminate vice. I will keep the 5-year-old binky enthusiasts off the city's streets. I will keep crooks from dipping their maggots in the public till. I promise you crunchified government, ape-like taxes, and shocked-by-jumper-cables schools.
Heffalump said...
Ladies and gentlemen, on this serendipitous occasion it is a privilege to address such a swell-looking group of garbanzo beans. I can tell from your smiling blackeyed peas that you will support my six foot long program in the coming election. I promise that, if elected, there will be a soup in every stew and two chickpeas in every garage. I want to warn you against my denture wearing opponent, Mr. Jack. This man is nothing but a spellbound bisque. He has a felicitous character and is working chowder in glove with the criminal element. If elected, I promise to eliminate vice. I will keep the kidney beans off the city's streets. I will keep crooks from dipping their lentils in the public till. I promise you smarmy government, envelope licking taxes, and swine sniffing schools.
Friday, October 28, 2011
The High School Monster 2011
NARRATOR: Our scene is in a/an (adjective) high school in (name of town). The students are (adjective) with fear. Listen as our heroine, (girl in room), speaks to (boy in room).
GIRL: The High School Monster has eaten three more pretty young (plural noun) and boiled the (noun) teacher.
BOY: Don't be afraid, (pet name). I think the monster is really just a (noun).
GIRL: But (a person) saw it. It has (a number) arms and long (adjective) hair and (a color) teeth.
BOY: Hmm. That sounds like (someone in room).
GIRL: When I go out I walk very (adverb).
BOY: I am going to set a trap for this so-called monster. And you must be the (adjective) bait.
GIRL: Oh no! Do I look (adjective)? Get some other (noun).
Heffalump said...
NARRATOR: Our scene is in a dilapidated high school in Eerie, Indiana. The students are gothic with fear. Listen as our heroine, Mina, speaks to Vlad.
GIRL: The High School Monster has eaten three more pretty young fangs and boiled the blood donor teacher.
BOY: Don't be afraid, dearheart. I think the monster is really just a castle.
GIRL: But Jonathan Harker saw it. It has 27 arms and long musty hair and red teeth.
BOY: Hmm. That sounds like Kirsten Dunst.
GIRL: When I go out I walk very garlic-wearingly.
BOY: I am going to set a trap for this so-called monster. And you must be the black bait.
GIRL: Oh no! Do I look corpse-like? Get some other bat.
Millie said...
NARRATOR: Our scene is in a gum-smacking high school in the Lower East Side. The students are cocky with fear. Listen as our heroine, Izzy the Nose, speaks to Roman Carpiti.
GIRL: The High School Monster has eaten three more pretty young choir boys and boiled the shelf paper teacher.
BOY: Don't be afraid, Doll. I think the monster is really just a price tag gun.
GIRL: But Mary Margaret Catherine Dineen saw it. It has 25 arms and long robotic hair and flaming red teeth.
BOY: Hmm. That sounds like Danny Vermin.
GIRL: When I go out I walk very dangerously.
BOY: I am going to set a trap for this so-called monster. And you must be the impressive bait.
GIRL: Oh no! Do I look sweater-knitting? Get some other 88 Magnum.
GIRL: The High School Monster has eaten three more pretty young (plural noun) and boiled the (noun) teacher.
BOY: Don't be afraid, (pet name). I think the monster is really just a (noun).
GIRL: But (a person) saw it. It has (a number) arms and long (adjective) hair and (a color) teeth.
BOY: Hmm. That sounds like (someone in room).
GIRL: When I go out I walk very (adverb).
BOY: I am going to set a trap for this so-called monster. And you must be the (adjective) bait.
GIRL: Oh no! Do I look (adjective)? Get some other (noun).
Heffalump said...
NARRATOR: Our scene is in a dilapidated high school in Eerie, Indiana. The students are gothic with fear. Listen as our heroine, Mina, speaks to Vlad.
GIRL: The High School Monster has eaten three more pretty young fangs and boiled the blood donor teacher.
BOY: Don't be afraid, dearheart. I think the monster is really just a castle.
GIRL: But Jonathan Harker saw it. It has 27 arms and long musty hair and red teeth.
BOY: Hmm. That sounds like Kirsten Dunst.
GIRL: When I go out I walk very garlic-wearingly.
BOY: I am going to set a trap for this so-called monster. And you must be the black bait.
GIRL: Oh no! Do I look corpse-like? Get some other bat.
Millie said...
NARRATOR: Our scene is in a gum-smacking high school in the Lower East Side. The students are cocky with fear. Listen as our heroine, Izzy the Nose, speaks to Roman Carpiti.
GIRL: The High School Monster has eaten three more pretty young choir boys and boiled the shelf paper teacher.
BOY: Don't be afraid, Doll. I think the monster is really just a price tag gun.
GIRL: But Mary Margaret Catherine Dineen saw it. It has 25 arms and long robotic hair and flaming red teeth.
BOY: Hmm. That sounds like Danny Vermin.
GIRL: When I go out I walk very dangerously.
BOY: I am going to set a trap for this so-called monster. And you must be the impressive bait.
GIRL: Oh no! Do I look sweater-knitting? Get some other 88 Magnum.
Friday, October 21, 2011
Description of a Horror TV Show
Last week, I saw a television show that really gave me (an animal) pimples! It starred (a person) as a mad (an occupation) who discovers a way to make bedbugs fourteen feet high! The scientist has a goofy assistant, played by (a person), who gets mad because the scientist keeps hitting him on the head with a/an (noun). So he lets the bedbugs loose. Right away they start to eat up (a place). The army tries to stop them by spraying them with (a liquid) but that doesn't bother those (adjective) bedbugs. They go right on and eat up Chicago. Then the army drops an atom (noun) on them and this kills all of them except one super bedbug who grabs the (adjective) scientist and jumps into a volcano. And then the goofy assistant takes off his disguise and says, "I was only a/an (noun) for the F.B.I.," and he marries the scientist's beautiful (noun), who is played by (a person), and they live (adverb) ever after.
Heffalump said...
Last week, I saw a television show that really gave me aardvark pimples! It starred Larry as a mad Secret Shopper who discovers a way to make bedbugs fourteen feet high! The scientist has a goofy assistant, played by Curly, who gets mad because the scientist keeps hitting him on the head with a public restroom. So he lets the bedbugs loose. Right away they start to eat up Red Robin. The army tries to stop them by spraying them with melted Mud Pie but that doesn't bother those despair inducing bedbugs. They go right on and eat up Chicago. Then the army drops an atom china cabinet on them and this kills all of them except one super bedbug who grabs the checkered scientist and jumps into a volcano. And then the goofy assistant takes off his disguise and says, "I was only a velvet smoking jacket for the F.B.I.," and he marries the scientist's beautiful bunny slipper, who is played by Moe, and they live destructively ever after.
Millie said...
Last week, I saw a television show that really gave me locust pimples! It starred Fred Gibbs as a mad crabber who discovers a way to make bedbugs fourteen feet high! The scientist has a goofy assistant, played by Catnip Jones, who gets mad because the scientist keeps hitting him on the head with an ironing board. So he lets the bedbugs loose. Right away they start to eat up the indoors. The army tries to stop them by spraying them with slug slime but that doesn't bother those blue and protruding bedbugs. They go right on and eat up Chicago. Then the army drops an atom chip-wanting child on them and this kills all of them except one super bedbug who grabs the crappily homeschooled scientist and jumps into a volcano. And then the goofy assistant takes off his disguise and says, "I was only a constant complainer for the F.B.I.," and he marries the scientist's beautiful lumberjack, who is played by Shirley U. Jest, and they live hip-bumpingly ever after.
Heffalump said...
Last week, I saw a television show that really gave me aardvark pimples! It starred Larry as a mad Secret Shopper who discovers a way to make bedbugs fourteen feet high! The scientist has a goofy assistant, played by Curly, who gets mad because the scientist keeps hitting him on the head with a public restroom. So he lets the bedbugs loose. Right away they start to eat up Red Robin. The army tries to stop them by spraying them with melted Mud Pie but that doesn't bother those despair inducing bedbugs. They go right on and eat up Chicago. Then the army drops an atom china cabinet on them and this kills all of them except one super bedbug who grabs the checkered scientist and jumps into a volcano. And then the goofy assistant takes off his disguise and says, "I was only a velvet smoking jacket for the F.B.I.," and he marries the scientist's beautiful bunny slipper, who is played by Moe, and they live destructively ever after.
Millie said...
Last week, I saw a television show that really gave me locust pimples! It starred Fred Gibbs as a mad crabber who discovers a way to make bedbugs fourteen feet high! The scientist has a goofy assistant, played by Catnip Jones, who gets mad because the scientist keeps hitting him on the head with an ironing board. So he lets the bedbugs loose. Right away they start to eat up the indoors. The army tries to stop them by spraying them with slug slime but that doesn't bother those blue and protruding bedbugs. They go right on and eat up Chicago. Then the army drops an atom chip-wanting child on them and this kills all of them except one super bedbug who grabs the crappily homeschooled scientist and jumps into a volcano. And then the goofy assistant takes off his disguise and says, "I was only a constant complainer for the F.B.I.," and he marries the scientist's beautiful lumberjack, who is played by Shirley U. Jest, and they live hip-bumpingly ever after.
Friday, October 14, 2011
Columbus and Isabella
COLUMBUS: Queen Isabella, it is I, Christopher Columbus. I have returned after discovering a new route to (a place).
ISABELLA: That's news, Columbus. Did you bring back lots of silver and precious (plural noun)?
COLUMBUS: No, your majesty. But you'll never have to pawn the royal (plural noun) again. I discovered a/an (adjective) land populated by fierce, red (plural noun), and I claimed them all in the name of the Spanish (noun).
ISABELLA: (Exclamation)! This will please my husband, (a person). What are these natives called?
COLUMBUS: They are called (plural noun), your majesty. They put (a liquid) on their faces and wear (plural noun) in their hair.
ISABELLA: You have made a/an (adjective) voyage, Columbus, and your (noun) will go down in history!
Heffalump said...
COLUMBUS: Queen Isabella, it is I, Christopher Columbus. I have returned after discovering a new route to Transylvania.
ISABELLA: That's news, Columbus. Did you bring back lots of silver and precious bats?
COLUMBUS: No, your majesty. But you'll never have to pawn the royal mummies again. I discovered a gothic land populated by fierce, red blood donors, and I claimed them all in the name of the Spanish hunchback.
ISABELLA: I vant to suck your blood, blah! This will please my husband, Dracula. What are these natives called?
COLUMBUS: They are called castles, your majesty. They put blood on their faces and wear pediatricians in their hair.
ISABELLA: You have made an hypnotic voyage, Columbus, and your victim will go down in history!
Millie said...
COLUMBUS: Queen Isabella, it is I, Christopher Columbus. I have returned after discovering a new route to Occupy Portland.
ISABELLA: That's news, Columbus. Did you bring back lots of silver and precious slipknots?
COLUMBUS: No, your majesty. But you'll never have to pawn the royal huge belches again. I discovered an incomprehensible land populated by fierce, red onion rings, and I claimed them all in the name of the Spanish cherry stem tied in a knot with one's tongue.
ISABELLA: Do whatever, Dittums! This will please my husband, Grant Staten III. What are these natives called?
COLUMBUS: They are called little April showers, your majesty. They put Spaghetti-o Surprise on their faces and wear Hillary hairdos in their hair.
ISABELLA: You have made a mortified by its mother voyage, Columbus, and your gas station attendant will go down in history!
ISABELLA: That's news, Columbus. Did you bring back lots of silver and precious (plural noun)?
COLUMBUS: No, your majesty. But you'll never have to pawn the royal (plural noun) again. I discovered a/an (adjective) land populated by fierce, red (plural noun), and I claimed them all in the name of the Spanish (noun).
ISABELLA: (Exclamation)! This will please my husband, (a person). What are these natives called?
COLUMBUS: They are called (plural noun), your majesty. They put (a liquid) on their faces and wear (plural noun) in their hair.
ISABELLA: You have made a/an (adjective) voyage, Columbus, and your (noun) will go down in history!
Heffalump said...
COLUMBUS: Queen Isabella, it is I, Christopher Columbus. I have returned after discovering a new route to Transylvania.
ISABELLA: That's news, Columbus. Did you bring back lots of silver and precious bats?
COLUMBUS: No, your majesty. But you'll never have to pawn the royal mummies again. I discovered a gothic land populated by fierce, red blood donors, and I claimed them all in the name of the Spanish hunchback.
ISABELLA: I vant to suck your blood, blah! This will please my husband, Dracula. What are these natives called?
COLUMBUS: They are called castles, your majesty. They put blood on their faces and wear pediatricians in their hair.
ISABELLA: You have made an hypnotic voyage, Columbus, and your victim will go down in history!
Millie said...
COLUMBUS: Queen Isabella, it is I, Christopher Columbus. I have returned after discovering a new route to Occupy Portland.
ISABELLA: That's news, Columbus. Did you bring back lots of silver and precious slipknots?
COLUMBUS: No, your majesty. But you'll never have to pawn the royal huge belches again. I discovered an incomprehensible land populated by fierce, red onion rings, and I claimed them all in the name of the Spanish cherry stem tied in a knot with one's tongue.
ISABELLA: Do whatever, Dittums! This will please my husband, Grant Staten III. What are these natives called?
COLUMBUS: They are called little April showers, your majesty. They put Spaghetti-o Surprise on their faces and wear Hillary hairdos in their hair.
ISABELLA: You have made a mortified by its mother voyage, Columbus, and your gas station attendant will go down in history!
Friday, October 7, 2011
Report by Student Protest Committee
Fellow Students of (full name of school)! We members of the Students for a/an (adjective) Society are meeting here to decide what action to take about the Dean of (plural noun). He has just fired our friend, Professor (name of person in room), because he wore his (part of the body) long, and because he dressed in (article of clothing) and wore old (plural noun). Next week we are going to protest by taking over the (noun) building and kidnapping the Assistant (noun). We also will demand that all students have the right to wear (adjective) hair and (adjective) beards. Remember our slogan: "Down with (Plural noun)!"
Heffalump said...
Fellow Students of Xavier's Institute for Gifted Youngsters)! We members of the Students for a Super Powered Society are meeting here to decide what action to take about the Dean of Villains. He has just fired our friend, Professor Logan, because he wore his claws long, and because he dressed in spandex unitards and wore old victims. Next week we are going to protest by taking over the motorcycle building and kidnapping the Assistant Jet. We also will demand that all students have the right to wear invisible hair and psychic beards. Remember our slogan: "Down with mutants!"
Millie said...
Fellow Students of BYWho?! We members of the Students for a Dirt-Covered Society are meeting here to decide what action to take about the Dean of Fiddlesticks. He has just fired our friend, Professor Angry Angus, because he wore his huge mole long, and because he dressed in a diaper and wore old burp rags. Next week we are going to protest by taking over the skankwad building and kidnapping the Assistant Hobo Trousers. We also will demand that all students have the right to wear fuzzy mammoth-resembling hair and lazy and unashamed beards. Remember our slogan: "Down with Chocolate Masques!"
Heffalump said...
Fellow Students of Xavier's Institute for Gifted Youngsters)! We members of the Students for a Super Powered Society are meeting here to decide what action to take about the Dean of Villains. He has just fired our friend, Professor Logan, because he wore his claws long, and because he dressed in spandex unitards and wore old victims. Next week we are going to protest by taking over the motorcycle building and kidnapping the Assistant Jet. We also will demand that all students have the right to wear invisible hair and psychic beards. Remember our slogan: "Down with mutants!"
Millie said...
Fellow Students of BYWho?! We members of the Students for a Dirt-Covered Society are meeting here to decide what action to take about the Dean of Fiddlesticks. He has just fired our friend, Professor Angry Angus, because he wore his huge mole long, and because he dressed in a diaper and wore old burp rags. Next week we are going to protest by taking over the skankwad building and kidnapping the Assistant Hobo Trousers. We also will demand that all students have the right to wear fuzzy mammoth-resembling hair and lazy and unashamed beards. Remember our slogan: "Down with Chocolate Masques!"
Friday, September 30, 2011
Show and Tell
Today, I would like to show the class a/an (noun) I caught when I went (verb ending in ING) with my aunt. I had never fished before, but my aunt (adverb) taught me how to bait a hook with a/an (something alive) and then how to cast the (noun) into the (adjective) lake. I (verb) fishing!
My name is (person in room) and I would like to show the class this (adjective) (noun) from my mother's kitchen. My mother uses it every morning to fix my (something to eat). It is also useful if you are into (verb ending in ING) or if you want to slice up some (plural noun). If you want one, you can buy it at your local (noun) store for only (number) dollars.
Heffalump said...
Today, I would like to show the class a disintegrator ray I caught when I went boogeying with my aunt. I had never fished before, but my aunt stealthily taught me how to bait a hook with a velociraptor and then how to cast the pillow sham into the adroit lake. I dance fishing!
My name is Benjamin Franklin and I would like to show the class this condescending tiger shark from my mother's kitchen. My mother uses it every morning to fix my bean burrito. It is also useful if you are into frying or if you want to slice up some galoshes. If you want one, you can buy it at your local vitamin fortified cereal store for only 7.5 dollars.
Millie said...
Today, I would like to show the class a drip pan I caught when I went booing with my aunt. I had never fished before, but my aunt cup-tippingly taught me how to bait a hook with toenail fungus and then how to cast the unwanted hair into the funky lake. I froth at the mouth fishing!
My name is The Neighborhood Mime and I would like to show the class this emerald green clone of Selma Bouvier from my mother's kitchen. My mother uses it every morning to fix my bacon-wrapped Snickers bars. It is also useful if you are into mugging or if you want to slice up some uncomfortable pauses. If you want one, you can buy it at your local snot-nosed kid store for only 2736 dollars.
My name is (person in room) and I would like to show the class this (adjective) (noun) from my mother's kitchen. My mother uses it every morning to fix my (something to eat). It is also useful if you are into (verb ending in ING) or if you want to slice up some (plural noun). If you want one, you can buy it at your local (noun) store for only (number) dollars.
Heffalump said...
Today, I would like to show the class a disintegrator ray I caught when I went boogeying with my aunt. I had never fished before, but my aunt stealthily taught me how to bait a hook with a velociraptor and then how to cast the pillow sham into the adroit lake. I dance fishing!
My name is Benjamin Franklin and I would like to show the class this condescending tiger shark from my mother's kitchen. My mother uses it every morning to fix my bean burrito. It is also useful if you are into frying or if you want to slice up some galoshes. If you want one, you can buy it at your local vitamin fortified cereal store for only 7.5 dollars.
Millie said...
Today, I would like to show the class a drip pan I caught when I went booing with my aunt. I had never fished before, but my aunt cup-tippingly taught me how to bait a hook with toenail fungus and then how to cast the unwanted hair into the funky lake. I froth at the mouth fishing!
My name is The Neighborhood Mime and I would like to show the class this emerald green clone of Selma Bouvier from my mother's kitchen. My mother uses it every morning to fix my bacon-wrapped Snickers bars. It is also useful if you are into mugging or if you want to slice up some uncomfortable pauses. If you want one, you can buy it at your local snot-nosed kid store for only 2736 dollars.
Friday, September 23, 2011
Great Excuses For Being Late
Dear Physical Education Teacher,
Please excuse my son/daughter from missing (adjective) class yesterday. When (person in room) awakened yesterday, I could see that his/her nose was (adjective). He/She also complained of (part of the body) aches and having a sore (noun), and I took him/her to the family (noun). The doctor quickly diagnosed it to be the (number)-hour flu and suggested he/she take two (plural noun) with a glass of (liquid) and go to bed (adverb).
Dear Science Teacher,
Please excuse (person in room) for being late for your (adjective) class. It's my fault. I feel (adjective). (person in room) was up until the (adjective) hours of the morning completing his/her (adjective) project. Just as he/she was going out the (adjective) door, I noticed that his/her only pair of (plural noun) had a/an (noun) in them. It took me an hour to find my (plural noun) so I could see to (verb) the needle, enabling me to sew his/her (plural noun) back together.
Millie said...
Dear Physical Education Teacher,
Please excuse my son from missing blobby class yesterday. When Armitage awakened yesterday, I could see that his nose was chewed until unrecognizable. He also complained of stray hair aches and having a sore superfluous throw pillow, and I took him to the family old boyfriend. The doctor quickly diagnosed it to be the 2773-hour flu and suggested he take two toe rings with a glass of squash ooze and go to bed half-heartedly.
Dear Science Teacher,
Please excuse Hedwig for being late for your reconstituted class. It's my fault. I feel kitty-obsessed. Hedwig was up until the leatherlike hours of the morning completing her pink and fluffy project. Just as she was going out the rancid door, I noticed that her only pair of dinner menus had a ponytail in them. It took me an hour to find my bladder weaknesses so I could see to mince the needle, enabling me to sew her leering old men back together.
Please excuse my son/daughter from missing (adjective) class yesterday. When (person in room) awakened yesterday, I could see that his/her nose was (adjective). He/She also complained of (part of the body) aches and having a sore (noun), and I took him/her to the family (noun). The doctor quickly diagnosed it to be the (number)-hour flu and suggested he/she take two (plural noun) with a glass of (liquid) and go to bed (adverb).
Dear Science Teacher,
Please excuse (person in room) for being late for your (adjective) class. It's my fault. I feel (adjective). (person in room) was up until the (adjective) hours of the morning completing his/her (adjective) project. Just as he/she was going out the (adjective) door, I noticed that his/her only pair of (plural noun) had a/an (noun) in them. It took me an hour to find my (plural noun) so I could see to (verb) the needle, enabling me to sew his/her (plural noun) back together.
Millie said...
Dear Physical Education Teacher,
Please excuse my son from missing blobby class yesterday. When Armitage awakened yesterday, I could see that his nose was chewed until unrecognizable. He also complained of stray hair aches and having a sore superfluous throw pillow, and I took him to the family old boyfriend. The doctor quickly diagnosed it to be the 2773-hour flu and suggested he take two toe rings with a glass of squash ooze and go to bed half-heartedly.
Dear Science Teacher,
Please excuse Hedwig for being late for your reconstituted class. It's my fault. I feel kitty-obsessed. Hedwig was up until the leatherlike hours of the morning completing her pink and fluffy project. Just as she was going out the rancid door, I noticed that her only pair of dinner menus had a ponytail in them. It took me an hour to find my bladder weaknesses so I could see to mince the needle, enabling me to sew her leering old men back together.
Friday, September 16, 2011
Eat, Drink, and Be Sick
An inspector from the Department of Health and (noun) Services paid a surprise visit to our (adjective) school cafeteria. The lunch special, prepared by our (adjective) dietician, was spaghetti and (noun)-balls with a choice of either a/an (noun) salad or french (plural noun). The inspector found the meat-(plural noun) to be overcooked and discovered a live (noun) in the fries, causing him to have a/an (part of the body)ache. In response, he threw up all over his (plural noun). In his report, the inspector (adverb) recommended that the school cafeteria serve only nutritious (plural noun) as well as low-calorie (plural noun), and that all of the saturated (plural noun) be eliminated. He rated the cafeteria a/an (letter of the alphabet)-minus.
Millie said...
An inspector from the Department of Health and Very Catchy Kenny Rogers Tune Services paid a surprise visit to our steroid-using school cafeteria. The lunch special, prepared by our Halloween-obsessed dietician, was spaghetti and snake tongue-balls with a choice of either an eraser salad or french tootsie-toesies. The inspector found the meat-garbage trucks to be overcooked and discovered a live eyeliner pencil in the fries, causing him to have a jugular vein ache. In response, he threw up all over his Warrior Dash participants. In his report, the inspector self-consciously recommended that the school cafeteria serve only nutritious wedgie-givers as well as low-calorie brownie crumbs, and that all of the saturated disapproving old ladies be eliminated. He rated the cafeteria a Q-minus.
Heffalump said...
An inspector from the Department of Health and Capillary Services paid a surprise visit to our deep fried school cafeteria. The lunch special, prepared by our menacing dietician, was spaghetti and rosebud-balls with a choice of either a nose hair salad or french otter pops. The inspector found the meat-weekend bingers to be overcooked and discovered a live corn fritter in the fries, causing him to have an ear cartilege ache. In response, he threw up all over his dance clubs. In his report, the inspector adroitly recommended that the school cafeteria serve only nutritious disco balls as well as low-calorie DVDs, and that all of the saturated vintage lunch boxes be eliminated. He rated the cafeteria a P-minus.
Millie said...
An inspector from the Department of Health and Very Catchy Kenny Rogers Tune Services paid a surprise visit to our steroid-using school cafeteria. The lunch special, prepared by our Halloween-obsessed dietician, was spaghetti and snake tongue-balls with a choice of either an eraser salad or french tootsie-toesies. The inspector found the meat-garbage trucks to be overcooked and discovered a live eyeliner pencil in the fries, causing him to have a jugular vein ache. In response, he threw up all over his Warrior Dash participants. In his report, the inspector self-consciously recommended that the school cafeteria serve only nutritious wedgie-givers as well as low-calorie brownie crumbs, and that all of the saturated disapproving old ladies be eliminated. He rated the cafeteria a Q-minus.
Heffalump said...
An inspector from the Department of Health and Capillary Services paid a surprise visit to our deep fried school cafeteria. The lunch special, prepared by our menacing dietician, was spaghetti and rosebud-balls with a choice of either a nose hair salad or french otter pops. The inspector found the meat-weekend bingers to be overcooked and discovered a live corn fritter in the fries, causing him to have an ear cartilege ache. In response, he threw up all over his dance clubs. In his report, the inspector adroitly recommended that the school cafeteria serve only nutritious disco balls as well as low-calorie DVDs, and that all of the saturated vintage lunch boxes be eliminated. He rated the cafeteria a P-minus.
Friday, September 9, 2011
Alice's Upside-Down World
Lewis Carroll's classic, Alice's Adventures in Wonderland, as well as its (adjective) sequel, Through the Looking (noun), have enchanted both the young and the old (plural noun) for the last (number) years. Alice's (adjective) adventures begin when she (verb ending in S) down a/an (adjective) hole and lands in a strange and topsy-turvy (noun). There she discovers she can become a tall (noun) or a small (noun) simply by nibbling on alternate sides of a magic (noun). In her travels through Wonderland, Alice (verb ending in S) such remarkable characters as the White (noun), the (adjective) Hatter, the Cheshire (noun), and even the Queen of (plural noun). Unfortunately, Alice's adventures come to a/an (adjective) end when Alice awakens from her (noun).
Millie said...
Lewis Carroll's classic, Alice's Adventures in Wonderland, as well as its exacting sequel, Through the Looking Nose/Finger Magnet, have enchanted both the young and the old finger cymbals for the last 183 years. Alice's monstrous adventures begin when she rips down a suffering-from-allergies hole and lands in a strange and topsy-turvy six-shooter. There she discovers she can become a tall little deuce coupe or a small angry crocodile simply by nibbling on alternate sides of a magic OMSI frequenter. In her travels through Wonderland, Alice toots such remarkable characters as the White Taskmaster, the Yellow with a Questionable Substance Hatter, the Cheshire Wheel of Fish, and even the Queen of Family Crest Tattoos. Unfortunately, Alice's adventures come to an unsure end when Alice awakens from her umbilical cord necklace.
Heffalump said...
Lewis Carroll's classic, Alice's Adventures in Wonderland, as well as its didactic sequel, Through the Looking Twine, have enchanted both the young and the old flip flops for the last 17 years. Alice's creative adventures begin when she grimaces down a splendorous hole and lands in a strange and topsy-turvy chair lashed during a boy scout campout. There she discovers she can become a tall jet engine or a small sock monkey simply by nibbling on alternate sides of a magic shoe box. In her travels through Wonderland, Alice sprays such remarkable characters as the White Glue Stick, the Smelly Hatter, the Cheshire Ladder, and even the Queen of Tartans. Unfortunately, Alice's adventures come to an avocado green end when Alice awakens from her crayon.
Millie said...
Lewis Carroll's classic, Alice's Adventures in Wonderland, as well as its exacting sequel, Through the Looking Nose/Finger Magnet, have enchanted both the young and the old finger cymbals for the last 183 years. Alice's monstrous adventures begin when she rips down a suffering-from-allergies hole and lands in a strange and topsy-turvy six-shooter. There she discovers she can become a tall little deuce coupe or a small angry crocodile simply by nibbling on alternate sides of a magic OMSI frequenter. In her travels through Wonderland, Alice toots such remarkable characters as the White Taskmaster, the Yellow with a Questionable Substance Hatter, the Cheshire Wheel of Fish, and even the Queen of Family Crest Tattoos. Unfortunately, Alice's adventures come to an unsure end when Alice awakens from her umbilical cord necklace.
Heffalump said...
Lewis Carroll's classic, Alice's Adventures in Wonderland, as well as its didactic sequel, Through the Looking Twine, have enchanted both the young and the old flip flops for the last 17 years. Alice's creative adventures begin when she grimaces down a splendorous hole and lands in a strange and topsy-turvy chair lashed during a boy scout campout. There she discovers she can become a tall jet engine or a small sock monkey simply by nibbling on alternate sides of a magic shoe box. In her travels through Wonderland, Alice sprays such remarkable characters as the White Glue Stick, the Smelly Hatter, the Cheshire Ladder, and even the Queen of Tartans. Unfortunately, Alice's adventures come to an avocado green end when Alice awakens from her crayon.
Friday, September 2, 2011
Little Red Riding Hood
One day, Little (color) Riding Hood was going through the forest carrying a basket of (plural noun) for her grandmother. Suddenly, she met a big (adjective) wolf. "(Exclamation)!" said the wolf. "Where are you going, little (silly word)?" "I'm going to my grandmother's house," she said. Then the wolf (verb, past tense) away. When Miss Riding Hood got to her grandmother's house, the wolf was in bed dressed like her grandmother. "My, Grandmother," she said, "What big (plural noun) you have." "The better to (verb) you with," said the wolf. "And Grandmother," she said, "what big (plural noun) you have." And then she said, "What big (plural noun) you have, Grandmother." But the wolf said nothing. He had just died of indigestion from eating Grandmother.
Millie said...
One day, Little Mustard Yellow Riding Hood was going through the forest carrying a basket of insubordinates for her grandmother. Suddenly, she met a big carmelized wolf. "Well slurp me sideways!" said the wolf. "Where are you going, little dropopple?" "I'm going to my grandmother's house," she said. Then the wolf ricocheted away. When Miss Riding Hood got to her grandmother's house, the wolf was in bed dressed like her grandmother. "My, Grandmother," she said, "What big flashdancers you have." "The better to delouse you with," said the wolf. "And Grandmother," she said, "what big man boobs you have." And then she said, "What big dog attack suits you have, Grandmother." But the wolf said nothing. He had just died of indigestion from eating Grandmother.
Heffalump said...
One day, Little Tangerine Riding Hood was going through the forest carrying a basket of pirated DVDs for her grandmother. Suddenly, she met a big perfunctory wolf. "Chicken Butt!" said the wolf. "Where are you going, little wigwam?" "I'm going to my grandmother's house," she said. Then the wolf tortured away. When Miss Riding Hood got to her grandmother's house, the wolf was in bed dressed like her grandmother. "My, Grandmother," she said, "What big varicose veins you have." "The better to shake you with," said the wolf. "And Grandmother," she said, "what big artificial sweeteners you have." And then she said, "What big flesh-eating zombies you have, Grandmother." But the wolf said nothing. He had just died of indigestion from eating Grandmother.
Millie said...
One day, Little Mustard Yellow Riding Hood was going through the forest carrying a basket of insubordinates for her grandmother. Suddenly, she met a big carmelized wolf. "Well slurp me sideways!" said the wolf. "Where are you going, little dropopple?" "I'm going to my grandmother's house," she said. Then the wolf ricocheted away. When Miss Riding Hood got to her grandmother's house, the wolf was in bed dressed like her grandmother. "My, Grandmother," she said, "What big flashdancers you have." "The better to delouse you with," said the wolf. "And Grandmother," she said, "what big man boobs you have." And then she said, "What big dog attack suits you have, Grandmother." But the wolf said nothing. He had just died of indigestion from eating Grandmother.
Heffalump said...
One day, Little Tangerine Riding Hood was going through the forest carrying a basket of pirated DVDs for her grandmother. Suddenly, she met a big perfunctory wolf. "Chicken Butt!" said the wolf. "Where are you going, little wigwam?" "I'm going to my grandmother's house," she said. Then the wolf tortured away. When Miss Riding Hood got to her grandmother's house, the wolf was in bed dressed like her grandmother. "My, Grandmother," she said, "What big varicose veins you have." "The better to shake you with," said the wolf. "And Grandmother," she said, "what big artificial sweeteners you have." And then she said, "What big flesh-eating zombies you have, Grandmother." But the wolf said nothing. He had just died of indigestion from eating Grandmother.
Friday, August 26, 2011
Alexander the Great
In 356 BC, Phillip of Macedonia, the ruler of a province in northern Greece, became the father of a bouncing baby (noun) named Alexander. Alexander's teacher was Aristotle, the famous (noun). When he was 20 years old, his father was murdered by (celebrity), after which he became (noun) of all Macedonia. In 334, he invaded Persia and defeated (celebrity) at the battle of (a place). Later, at Arbela, he won his most important victory over Darius the Third. This made him (noun) (silly word) over all Persians. Then he marched to India, and many of his (plural noun) died. After that, Alexander began drinking too much (liquid), and at the age of 33, he died of an infection in the (part of the body). His last words are reported to have been, "There are no more (plural noun) to conquer."
Millie said...
In 356 BC, Phillip of Macedonia, the ruler of a province in northern Greece, became the father of a bouncing baby lady who gets mad if you tell her her slip is showing named Alexander. Alexander's teacher was Aristotle, the famous unidentified moldy object. When he was 20 years old, his father was murdered by Dylan McKay, after which he became shrimp cocktail of all Macedonia. In 334, he invaded Persia and defeated Brandon Walsh at the battle of Sordidville, CA. Later, at Arbela, he won his most important victory over Darius the Third. This made him flagellum a gooey gooey gooey over all Persians. Then he marched to India, and many of his seamed stockings died. After that, Alexander began drinking too much mysterious goo, and at the age of 33, he died of an infection in the toe. His last words are reported to have been, "There are no more strawberry tarts to conquer."
Heffalump said...
In 356 BC, Phillip of Macedonia, the ruler of a province in northern Greece, became the father of a bouncing baby hummus named Alexander. Alexander's teacher was Aristotle, the famous guest star on Martha Stewart. When he was 20 years old, his father was murdered by Mike the Headless Chicken, after which he became Pillsbury dough boy of all Macedonia. In 334, he invaded Persia and defeated Pauly Shore at the battle of Fruita. Later, at Arbela, he won his most important victory over Darius the Third. This made him half-eaten sandwich farfegnugen over all Persians. Then he marched to India, and many of his sea monkeys died. After that, Alexander began drinking too much beaten egg, and at the age of 33, he died of an infection in the thumb knuckle. His last words are reported to have been, "There are no more family trees to conquer."
Klin said...
In 356 BC, Phillip of Macedonia, the ruler of a province in northern Greece, became the father of a bouncing baby nose picking 3rd grader named Alexander. Alexander's teacher was Aristotle, the famous trail mix. When he was 20 years old, his father was murdered by Avril Lavigne, after which he became stuffed hippopotamus of all Macedonia. In 334, he invaded Persia and defeated Taylor Lautner at the battle of Campus Dorm. Later, at Arbela, he won his most important victory over Darius the Third. This made him smelly old gym bag sexified over all Persians. Then he marched to India, and many of his partay supplies died. After that, Alexander began drinking too much Dreft detergent, and at the age of 33, he died of an infection in the cuticle. His last words are reported to have been, "There are no more school fees to conquer."
Millie said...
In 356 BC, Phillip of Macedonia, the ruler of a province in northern Greece, became the father of a bouncing baby lady who gets mad if you tell her her slip is showing named Alexander. Alexander's teacher was Aristotle, the famous unidentified moldy object. When he was 20 years old, his father was murdered by Dylan McKay, after which he became shrimp cocktail of all Macedonia. In 334, he invaded Persia and defeated Brandon Walsh at the battle of Sordidville, CA. Later, at Arbela, he won his most important victory over Darius the Third. This made him flagellum a gooey gooey gooey over all Persians. Then he marched to India, and many of his seamed stockings died. After that, Alexander began drinking too much mysterious goo, and at the age of 33, he died of an infection in the toe. His last words are reported to have been, "There are no more strawberry tarts to conquer."
Heffalump said...
In 356 BC, Phillip of Macedonia, the ruler of a province in northern Greece, became the father of a bouncing baby hummus named Alexander. Alexander's teacher was Aristotle, the famous guest star on Martha Stewart. When he was 20 years old, his father was murdered by Mike the Headless Chicken, after which he became Pillsbury dough boy of all Macedonia. In 334, he invaded Persia and defeated Pauly Shore at the battle of Fruita. Later, at Arbela, he won his most important victory over Darius the Third. This made him half-eaten sandwich farfegnugen over all Persians. Then he marched to India, and many of his sea monkeys died. After that, Alexander began drinking too much beaten egg, and at the age of 33, he died of an infection in the thumb knuckle. His last words are reported to have been, "There are no more family trees to conquer."
Klin said...
In 356 BC, Phillip of Macedonia, the ruler of a province in northern Greece, became the father of a bouncing baby nose picking 3rd grader named Alexander. Alexander's teacher was Aristotle, the famous trail mix. When he was 20 years old, his father was murdered by Avril Lavigne, after which he became stuffed hippopotamus of all Macedonia. In 334, he invaded Persia and defeated Taylor Lautner at the battle of Campus Dorm. Later, at Arbela, he won his most important victory over Darius the Third. This made him smelly old gym bag sexified over all Persians. Then he marched to India, and many of his partay supplies died. After that, Alexander began drinking too much Dreft detergent, and at the age of 33, he died of an infection in the cuticle. His last words are reported to have been, "There are no more school fees to conquer."
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