Friday, March 27, 2009

Fire Fighters

When I was ten years old, my (adjective) ambition in life was to be a fire fighter - but here I am, nothing but a/an (adjective) (noun). If I were a fire fighter, I'd get to wear a huge, red (noun). And I could ride on the fire engines that carry 80-foot (plural noun) and travel (number) miles an hour. When fire engines blow their (plural noun), all cars have to pull over to the side of the (noun). Fire departments have hook and (noun) wagons as well as pump trucks which carry (adjective) hoses that pump (type of liquid) into burning (plural noun). Fire fighters have to go into (adjective) buildings and fight their way through smoke and (noun) to rescue any (plural noun) who may be trapped inside. We should all be thankful that our fire fighters are on the job twenty-four hours a/an (noun).

Millie said...
When I was ten years old, my laundry-happy ambition in life was to be a fire fighter - but here I am, nothing but a yellowing shrimp. If I were a fire fighter, I'd get to wear a huge, red ruler-wielding nun with PMS. And I could ride on the fire engines that carry 80-foot polka dots and travel 12 miles an hour. When fire engines blow their unexplainable car floor crumbs, all cars have to pull over to the side of the Matchbox car. Fire departments have hook and testicular homicide wagons as well as pump trucks which carry left in its natural state hoses that pump kitten spit into burning The Price Is Right contestants. Fire fighters have to go into creamy and brown buildings and fight their way through smoke and female mustache to rescue any Necco wafers who may be trapped inside. We should all be thankful that our fire fighters are on the job twenty-four hours a Mary Engelbreit afficianado.

Klin said...
When I was ten years old, my dark and dreary ambition in life was to be a fire fighter - but here I am, nothing but an attack-like stanced warm fire. If I were a fire fighter, I'd get to wear a huge, red Grand Canyon. And I could ride on the fire engines that carry 80-foot career changes and travel 20 miles an hour. When fire engines blow their fancy-cutting scissors, all cars have to pull over to the side of the Jeep Liberty. Fire departments have hook and 4-wheel drive wagons as well as pump trucks which carry fodder type hoses that pump Vanilla Silk into burning Girl Scout cookies. Fire fighters have to go into ground in buildings and fight their way through smoke and awesome dad to rescue any piles of scrapbook crap who may be trapped inside. We should all be thankful that our fire fighters are on the job twenty-four hours a/an (noun).

Thorny Tree Lady said...
When I was ten years old, my gangly ambition in life was to be a fire fighter - but here I am, nothing but a jewel-encrusted back-stabbing frenemy. If I were a fire fighter, I'd get to wear a huge, red technologically advanced 5 year old child. And I could ride on the fire engines that carry 80-foot golfers and travel 8,675,309 miles an hour. When fire engines blow their Coldstone Creamery employees who sing off key when someone leaves a tip, all cars have to pull over to the side of the Wendy's Mandarin Chicken Salad. Fire departments have hook and Dancing WIth the Stars score paddle wagons as well as pump trucks which carry barftastic hoses that pump Downy Fabric Softener into burning bacon bits. Fire fighters have to go into so tired you put katsup on your garden salad buildings and fight their way through smoke and bottle of Advil to rescue any nursing bras who may be trapped inside. We should all be thankful that our fire fighters are on the job twenty-four hours a broken light bulb.

1 comment:

Mad Libs Millie said...

Yeah, kind of like your entire blog. Awwwww.