Tuesday, September 4, 2007

Playclothes

Captain von Trapp: Now, Fraulein. I want a truthful answer from you.
Maria: Yes, Captain?
Captain: Is it possible - or could I have just imagined it - have my children, by any chance, been climbing trees today?
Maria: Yes, Captain.
Captain: I see. And where, may I ask, did they get these... ummm...
Maria: Playclothes.
Captain: Oh, is that what you call them?
Maria: I made them. From the drapes that used to hang in my bedroom.
Captain: Drapes?
Maria: They still have plenty of wear left. The children have been everywhere in them.
Captain: Do you mean to tell me that my children have been roaming about Salzburg dressed up in nothing but some old drapes?
Maria: Mmm-hmmm. And having a marvelous time!

No Cool Story said...
Captain: Now, Fraulein. I want an unappetizing answer from you.
Maria: Yes, Captain?
Captain: Is it possible - or could I have just imagined it - have my burros, by any chance, been skating amigos today?
Maria: Yes, Captain.
Captain: I see. And where, may I ask, did they get these... ummm...
Maria: Sombreros.
Captain: Oh, is that what you call them?
Maria: I made them. From the quesadillas that used to hang in my mama's house.
Captain: Quesadillas?
Maria: They still have plenty of acorn left. The burros have been everywhere in them.
Captain: Do you mean to tell me that my burros have been roaming about the kennel dressed up in nothing but some old quesadillas?
Maria: Mmm-hmmm. And having an unhealthy time!

Compulsive Writer said...
Captain: Now, Fraulein. I want a risqué answer from you.
Maria: Yes, Captain?
Captain: Is it possible - or could I have just imagined it - have my umbrellas, by any chance, been waltzing BVDs today?
Maria: Yes, Captain.
Captain: I see. And where, may I ask, did they get these... ummm...
Maria: Suspenders.
Captain: Oh, is that what you call them?
Maria: I made them. From the spiders that used to hang at the county fair.
Captain: Spiders?
Maria: They still have plenty of tire iron left. The umbrellas have been everywhere in them.
Captain: Do you mean to tell me that my umbrellas have been roaming about Lackawanna dressed up in nothing but some old spiders?
Maria: Mmm-hmmm. And having a spicy time!

Elizabeth-W said...
Captain: Now, Fraulein. I want a putrid answer from you.
Maria: Yes, Captain?
Captain: Is it possible - or could I have just imagined it - have my litter boxes, by any chance, been vomiting pooper scoopers today?
Maria: Yes, Captain.
Captain: I see. And where, may I ask, did they get these... ummm...
Maria: Scarves.
Captain: Oh, is that what you call them?
Maria: I made them. From the chastity belts that used to hang in Vancouver.
Captain: Chastity belts?
Maria: They still have plenty of flatulence left. The litter boxes have been everywhere in them.
Captain: Do you mean to tell me that my litter boxes have been roaming about Crap Hill dressed up in nothing but some old chastity belts?
Maria: Mmm-hmmm. And having a gaggy time!

Tori :) said...
Captain: Now, Fraulein. I want a furry answer from you.
Maria: Yes, Captain?
Captain: Is it possible - or could I have just imagined it - have my Presidents, by any chance, been huffing calculators today?
Maria: Yes, Captain.
Captain: I see. And where, may I ask, did they get these... ummm...
Maria: Wristbands.
Captain: Oh, is that what you call them?
Maria: I made them. From the tracks that used to hang in Texas.
Captain: Tracks?
Maria: They still have plenty of spaceship left. The Presidents have been everywhere in them.
Captain: Do you mean to tell me that my Presidents have been roaming about the bottom of the sea dressed up in nothing but some old tracks?
Maria: Mmm-hmmm. And having a pokey time!

so grateful to be Mormon said...
Captain: Now, Fraulein. I want a cozy answer from you.
Maria: Yes, Captain?
Captain: Is it possible - or could I have just imagined it - have my doggies, by any chance, been romping trees today?
Maria: Yes, Captain.
Captain: I see. And where, may I ask, did they get these... ummm...
Maria: Handkerchiefs.
Captain: Oh, is that what you call them?
Maria: I made them. From the bushes that used to hang in my heart.
Captain: Bushes?
Maria: They still have plenty of fuzz left. The doggies have been everywhere in them.
Captain: Do you mean to tell me that my doggies have been roaming about the sanctuary dressed up in nothing but some old bushes?
Maria: Mmm-hmmm. And having a cuddly time!

omar said...
Captain: Now, Fraulein. I want a hairy answer from you.
Maria: Yes, Captain?
Captain: Is it possible - or could I have just imagined it - have my bottles, by any chance, been jumping keyboards today?
Maria: Yes, Captain.
Captain: I see. And where, may I ask, did they get these... ummm...
Maria: Sweatpants.
Captain: Oh, is that what you call them?
Maria: I made them. From the cheese sticks that used to hang in Venice.
Captain: Cheese sticks?
Maria: They still have plenty of gum left. The bottles have been everywhere in them.
Captain: Do you mean to tell me that my bottles have been roaming about West Virginia dressed up in nothing but some old cheese sticks?
Maria: Mmm-hmmm. And having a cute time!

kayelyn said...
Captain: Now, Fraulein. I want a fast answer from you.
Maria: Yes, Captain?
Captain: Is it possible - or could I have just imagined it - have my dorks, by any chance, been hiding baskets today?
Maria: Yes, Captain.
Captain: I see. And where, may I ask, did they get these... ummm...
Maria: Shirts.
Captain: Oh, is that what you call them?
Maria: I made them. From the flip-flops that used to hang in the park.
Captain: Flip-flops?
Maria: They still have plenty of bag left. The dorks have been everywhere in them.
Captain: Do you mean to tell me that my dorks have been roaming about the room dressed up in nothing but some old flip-flops?
Maria: Mmm-hmmm. And having a scary time!

heffalump said...
Captain: Now, Fraulein. I want a blasphemous answer from you.
Maria: Yes, Captain?
Captain: Is it possible - or could I have just imagined it - have my sporks, by any chance, been plucking nosehairs today?
Maria: Yes, Captain.
Captain: I see. And where, may I ask, did they get these... ummm...
Maria: Lederhosen.
Captain: Oh, is that what you call them?
Maria: I made them. From the pot bellied pigs that used to hang in the Bermuda Triangle.
Captain: Pot bellied pigs?
Maria: They still have plenty of Granny left. The sporks have been everywhere in them.
Captain: Do you mean to tell me that my sporks have been roaming about a deserted island dressed up in nothing but some old pot bellied pigs?
Maria: Mmm-hmmm. And having a groovy time!

b. said...
Captain: Now, Fraulein. I want a blue answer from you.
Maria: Yes, Captain?
Captain: Is it possible - or could I have just imagined it - have my shoes, by any chance, been running books today?
Maria: Yes, Captain.
Captain: I see. And where, may I ask, did they get these... ummm...
Maria: Bras.
Captain: Oh, is that what you call them?
Maria: I made them. From the friends that used to hang at work.
Captain: Friends?
Maria: They still have plenty of chair left. The shoes have been everywhere in them.
Captain: Do you mean to tell me that my shoes have been roaming about Provo dressed up in nothing but some old friends?
Maria: Mmm-hmmm. And having a suh-weet time!

glittersmama said...
Captain: Now, Fraulein. I want a black answer from you.
Maria: Yes, Captain?
Captain: Is it possible - or could I have just imagined it - have my flowers, by any chance, been dancing pillows today?
Maria: Yes, Captain.
Captain: I see. And where, may I ask, did they get these... ummm...
Maria: Skirts.
Captain: Oh, is that what you call them?
Maria: I made them. From the statues that used to hang at the beach.
Captain: Statues?
Maria: They still have plenty of clock left. The flowers have been everywhere in them.
Captain: Do you mean to tell me that my flowers have been roaming about Louisiana dressed up in nothing but some old statues?
Maria: Mmm-hmmm. And having a wet time!

ThornyTreeLady said...
Captain: Now, Fraulein. I want a green answer from you.
Maria: Yes, Captain?
Captain: Is it possible - or could I have just imagined it - have my bananas, by any chance, been singing flowers today?
Maria: Yes, Captain.
Captain: I see. And where, may I ask, did they get these... ummm...
Maria: Skivvies.
Captain: Oh, is that what you call them?
Maria: I made them. From the Diet Cherry Cokes that used to hang in Fresno.
Captain: Diet Cherry Cokes?
Maria: They still have plenty of orange left. The bananas have been everywhere in them.
Captain: Do you mean to tell me that my bananas have been roaming about a castle dressed up in nothing but some old Diet Cherry Cokes?
Maria: Mmm-hmmm. And having a angry time!

Crap Happy Mama said...
Captain: Now, Fraulein. I want a sweet answer from you.
Maria: Yes, Captain?
Captain: Is it possible - or could I have just imagined it - have my angels, by any chance, been skipping lollipops today?
Maria: Yes, Captain.
Captain: I see. And where, may I ask, did they get these... ummm...
Maria: Denim jumpers.
Captain: Oh, is that what you call them?
Maria: I made them. From the rainbows that used to hang in Xanadu.
Captain: Rainbows?
Maria: They still have plenty of Care Bear left. The angels have been everywhere in them.
Captain: Do you mean to tell me that my angels have been roaming about Our Lady of Sunshine and Rainbows Hospital dressed up in nothing but some old rainbows?
Maria: Mmm-hmmm. And having a smiling time!

Sketchy said...
Captain: Now, Fraulein. I want a yellow-bellied answer from you.
Maria: Yes, Captain?
Captain: Is it possible - or could I have just imagined it - have my substitute teachers, by any chance, been obnoxiously snort-laughing at trees today?
Maria: Yes, Captain.
Captain: I see. And where, may I ask, did they get these... ummm...
Maria: Sheep sweaters.
Captain: Oh, is that what you call them?
Maria: I made them. From the broken-down minivans that used to hang in the sushi bar at a local grocery store.
Captain: Broken-down minivans?
Maria: They still have plenty of snazzy Michael Jackson-esque glove left. The substitute teachers have been everywhere in them.
Captain: Do you mean to tell me that my substitute teachers have been roaming about Toledo dressed up in nothing but some old broken-down minivans?
Maria: Mmm-hmmm. And having an anatomically correct time!

Dawnyel said...
Captain: Now, Fraulein. I want a flat answer from you.
Maria: Yes, Captain?
Captain: Is it possible - or could I have just imagined it - have my soups, by any chance, been lounging hamsters today?
Maria: Yes, Captain.
Captain: I see. And where, may I ask, did they get these... ummm...
Maria: Toe-socks.
Captain: Oh, is that what you call them?
Maria: I made them. From the stars that used to hang in my bedroom.
Captain: Stars?
Maria: They still have plenty of dice left. The soups have been everywhere in them.
Captain: Do you mean to tell me that my soups have been roaming about the zoo dressed up in nothing but some old stars?
Maria: Mmm-hmmm. And having an blindingly-white time!

Jean Knee said...
Captain: Now, Fraulein. I want a fast answer from you.
Maria: Yes, Captain?
Captain: Is it possible - or could I have just imagined it - have my dogs, by any chance, been jumping fences today?
Maria: Yes, Captain.
Captain: I see. And where, may I ask, did they get these... ummm...
Maria: Shoes.
Captain: Oh, is that what you call them?
Maria: I made them. From the tiddly-winks that used to hang in the yard.
Captain: Tiddly-winks?
Maria: They still have plenty of dog left. The dogs have been everywhere in them.
Captain: Do you mean to tell me that my dogs have been roaming about the "not here" dressed up in nothing but some old tiddly-winks?
Maria: Mmm-hmmm. And having an sneaky time!

Pezlady said...
Captain: Now, Fraulein. I want a loony answer from you.
Maria: Yes, Captain?
Captain: Is it possible - or could I have just imagined it - have my doors, by any chance, been running shoes today?
Maria: Yes, Captain.
Captain: I see. And where, may I ask, did they get these... ummm...
Maria: Panties.
Captain: Oh, is that what you call them?
Maria: I made them. From the houses that used to hang in Buhl, Idaho.
Captain: Houses?
Maria: They still have plenty of skittles left. The doors have been everywhere in them.
Captain: Do you mean to tell me that my doors have been roaming about the hallway at church dressed up in nothing but some old houses?
Maria: Mmm-hmmm. And having a unique time!

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