I Don't Own a Car

"Ferris Bueller, you're my hero."

I believe in at least one -ism, so I hope he can forgive me. Here's his famous shower speech.

I do have a test today - that wasn't bull[doodoo]. It's on European Socialism. I mean, really, what's the point? I'm not European. I don't plan on being European. So who gives a crap if they're Socialists? They could be fascist anarchists - it still wouldn't change the fact that I don't own a car.

Not that I condone fascism, or any -ism for that matter. -Isms in my opinion are not good. A person should not believe in an -ism, he should believe in himself. I quote John Lennon: "I don't believe in the Beatles, I just believe in me." Good point there. After all, he was the walrus. I could be the walrus. I'd still have to bum rides off of people.

Here's how yours turned out.

No Cool Story said...
I do have buns today - that wasn't silly. It's on Hawtlander Socialism. I mean, really, what's the point? I'm not a Hawtlander. I don't plan on being a Hawtlander. So who gives a plume if they're Socialists? They could be reactionary clowns - it still wouldn't change the fact that I don't own a lunar rover.

Not that I condone reactionism, or any -ism for that matter. -Isms in my opinion are not blazing. A person should not believe in an -ism, he should believe in his noun. I quote Millie the Chicken: "I don't believe in the Unos, I just believe in me." Good point there. After all, she was the Nessie. I could be the Nessie. I'd still have to bum cucarachas off of people.

glittersmama said...
I do have a pencil today - that wasn't booga booga. It's on Haitian Socialism. I mean, really, what's the point? I'm not Haitian. I don't plan on being Haitian. So who gives a shoe if they're Socialists? They could be slimy demons - it still wouldn't change the fact that I don't own a Pacer.

Not that I condone slimyism, or any -ism for that matter. -Isms in my opinion are not strong. A person should not believe in an -ism, he should believe in his vapor. I quote Dwight Schrute: "I don't believe in Van Halen, I just believe in me." Good point there. After all, he was the monkey. I could be the monkey. I'd still have to bum laundry baskets off of people.

Melissa said...
I do have a tree today - that wasn't gobbledeegook. It's on Ewok Socialism. I mean, really, what's the point? I'm not an Ewok. I don't plan on being an Ewok. So who gives a syrup if they're Socialists? They could be sticky bombs - it still wouldn't change the fact that I don't own a hovercraft.

Not that I condone stickyism, or any -ism for that matter. -Isms in my opinion are not shimmery. A person should not believe in an -ism, he should believe in his cell phone. I quote Dame Judi Dench: "I don't believe in U2, I just believe in me." Good point there. After all, she was the meerkat. I could be the meerkat. I'd still have to bum GPS navigational systems off of people.

Tracy M said...
I do have a baseball bat today - that wasn't zoinkies. It's on Marsupial Socialism. I mean, really, what's the point? I'm not Marsupial. I don't plan on being Marsupial. So who gives an outhouse dweller if they're Socialists? They could be glommy clowns - it still wouldn't change the fact that I don't own a tricycle.

Not that I condone glommyism, or any -ism for that matter. -Isms in my opinion are not yellowing. A person should not believe in an -ism, he should believe in his globe. I quote Scarlett O'Hara: "I don't believe in Whitesnake, I just believe in me." Good point there. After all, she was the kangaroo. I could be the kangaroo. I'd still have to bum curtains off of people.

Heffalump said...
I do have a leg warmer today - that wasn't voonderbar. It's on white trash Socialism. I mean, really, what's the point? I'm not white trash. I don't plan on being white trash. So who gives a kite if they're Socialists? They could be verbose teenage girls - it still wouldn't change the fact that I don't own a VW Beetle.

Not that I condone verbose-ism, or any -ism for that matter. -Isms in my opinion are not reckless. A person should not believe in an -ism, he should believe in his dog food. I quote Elvis: "I don't believe in Violent Femmes, I just believe in me." Good point there. After all, he was the dingo. I could be the dingo. I'd still have to bum babies off of people.

Kayelyn said...
I do have a word today - that wasn't gibberish. It's on Filipino Socialism. I mean, really, what's the point? I'm not Filipino. I don't plan on being Filipino. So who gives a boat if they're Socialists? They could be burnt un-cats - it still wouldn't change the fact that I don't own a truck.

Not that I condone burntism, or any -ism for that matter. -Isms in my opinion are not black. A person should not believe in an -ism, he should believe in his laundry basket. I quote Madonna: "I don't believe in the Scorpions, I just believe in me." Good point there. After all, she was the weasel. I could be the weasel. I'd still have to bum slippers off of people.

Luisa Perkins said...
I do have a rock today - that wasn't bejeebers. It's on Basque Socialism. I mean, really, what's the point? I'm not Basque. I don't plan on being Basque. So, who gives a plywood if they're Socialists? They could be unctuous rats - it still wouldn't change the fact that I don't own a recumbent bicycle.

Not that I condone unctuousism, or any -ism for that matter. -Isms in my opinion are not feathered. A person should not believe in an -ism, he should believe in his globe. I quote Marilyn Monroe: "I don't believe in Loverboy, I just believe in me." Good point there. After all, she was the hyena. I could be the hyena. I'd still have to bum potatoes off of people.

Physcokity said...
I do have a drawer today - that wasn't malarky. It's on Green-Ewok Socialism. I mean, really, what's the point? I'm not Green-Ewok. I don't plan on being Green-Ewok. So who gives a lei if they're Socialists? They could be superfluous buns - it still wouldn't change the fact that I don't own a Kit from Knight Rider.

Not that I condone superfluousism, or any -ism for that matter. -Isms in my opinion are not gentle. A person should not believe in an -ism, he should believe in his hair. I quote Where's Waldo: "I don't believe in KISS, I just believe in me." Good point there. After all, he was the horse. I could be the horse. I'd still have to bum houses off of people.

nikko said...
I do have an enchilada today - that wasn't whippersnapper. It's on Australian Socialism. I mean, really, what's the point? I'm not Australian. I don't plan on being Australian. So who gives a go kart if they're Socialists? They could be snippy nukes - it still wouldn't change the fact that I don't own a minivan.

Not that I condone snippyism, or any -ism for that matter. -Isms in my opinion are not pink. A person should not believe in an -ism, he should believe in his radio. I quote Bob Hope: "I don't believe in Tears for Fears, I just believe in me." Good point there. After all, he was the cheetah. I could be the cheetah. I'd still have to bum phones off of people.

Tori :) said...
I do have a box today - that wasn't fo' shizzle. It's on Samoan Socialism. I mean, really, what's the point? I'm not Samoan. I don't plan on being Samoan. So who gives a trunk if they're Socialists? They could be hairless meanies - it still wouldn't change the fact that I don't own a paraglider.

Not that I condone hairlessism, or any -ism for that matter. -Isms in my opinion are not wrinkly. A person should not believe in an -ism, he should believe in his eyebrow. I quote Anthony Wiggle: "I don't believe in Def Leppard BABY!!!, I just believe in me." Good point there. After all, he was the duckbilled platypus. I could be the duckbilled platypus. I'd still have to bum photographs off of people.

Mrs. Crybaby Jones said...
I do have a Twisted Sister t-shirt today - that wasn't blah blah. It's on Diego disciple Socialism. I mean, really, what's the point? I'm not a Diego disciple. I don't plan on being a Diego disciple. So who gives a creep in the locker room if they're Socialists? They could be slapped-silly fire sprinklers that go off even if there's no fire, it still wouldn't change the fact that I don't own a Tilt-a-Whirl.

Not that I condone slapped-sillyism, or any -ism for that matter. -Isms in my opinion are not completely annoying. A person should not believe in an -ism, he should believe in his man with a wheel for one leg. I quote Albert Einstein: "I don't believe in Blondie, I just believe in me." Good point there. After all, he was the naked mole rat. I could be the naked mole rat. I'd still have to bum bad-smelling bus passengers off of people.

Methodical Wormer said...
I do have a doberman pincher today - that wasn't farfegnugen. It's on Hungarian Socialism. I mean, really, what's the point? I'm not Hungarian. I don't plan on being Hungarian. So who gives a tampon if they're Socialists? They could be hugantic nappy hos, it still wouldn't change the fact that I don't own a clown car.

Not that I condone hugantism, or any -ism for that matter. -Isms in my opinion are not vicious. A person should not believe in an -ism, he should believe in his rabbit. I quote Richard Simmons: "I don't believe in Smashing Pumpkins, I just believe in me." Good point there. After all, he was the R.O.U.S. I could be the R.O.U.S. I'd still have to bum tools off of people.

Mel Smell said...
I do have a name judger today - that wasn't wenalewale. It's on Djibutian Socialism. I mean, really, what's the point? I'm not Djibutian. I don't plan on being Djibutian. So who gives a kitty roca ice cream if they're Socialists? They could be talks-with-half-their-mouth mushroom fart smellers, it still wouldn't change the fact that I don't own a flying disco shoe.

Not that I condone talks-with-half-their-mouthism, or any -ism for that matter. -Isms in my opinion are not red and throbbing. A person should not believe in an -ism, he should believe in his man with a wheel for a leg. I quote Bill Cosby: "I don't believe in Flock of Seagulls, I just believe in me." Good point there. After all, he was the intestinal e-coli. I could be the intestinal e-coli. I'd still have to bum butter cheeks off of people.

PJ said...
I do have a pumpkin today - that wasn't ralvadork. It's on Mongolian Socialism. I mean, really, what's the point? I'm not Mongolian. I don't plan on being Mongolian. So who gives a bed if they're Socialists? They could be puffy lizards - it still wouldn't change the fact that I don't own a bus.

Not that I condone puffyism, or any -ism for that matter. -Isms in my opinion are not weird. A person should not believe in an -ism, he should believe in his toejam. I quote Oprah: "I don't believe in Blood, Sweat & Tears, I just believe in me." Good point there. After all, she was the pig. I could be the pig. I'd still have to bum taters off of people.

carronin said...
I do have a disco ball today - that wasn't honyonkers. It's on Asian American Socialism. I mean, really, what's the point? I'm not Asian American. I don't plan on being Asian American. So who gives a go-go boot if they're Socialists? They could be jiggy wit it gooey pooeys, it still wouldn't change the fact that I don't own a 1973 Chrysler New Yorker.

Not that I condone jiggy-wit-it-ism, or any -ism for that matter. -Isms in my opinion are not big and tasty. A person should not believe in an -ism, he should believe in his rice krispies. I quote Barry White: "I don't believe in Fine Young Cannibals, I just believe in me." Good point there. After all, he was the baby bear. I could be the baby bear. I'd still have to bum the internets off of people.

Dawnyel said...
I do have bells today - that wasn't cruddy-poo-poo. It's on Neptunian Socialism. I mean, really, what's the point? I'm not Neptunian. I don't plan on being Neptunian. So who gives a blanket if they're Socialists? They could be round boogers, it still wouldn't change the fact that I don't own a unicycle.

Not that I condone roundism, or any -ism for that matter. -Isms in my opinion are not furry. A person should not believe in an -ism, he should believe in his handcuffs. I quote Tim McGraw: "I don't believe in Ryan Shupe and the Rubber Band, I just believe in me." Good point there. After all, he was the piggy. I could be the piggy. I'd still have to bum psychos off of people.

b. said...
I do have grass today - that wasn't buh-jiggity. It's on Swinger Socialism. I mean, really, what's the point? I'm not a swinger. I don't plan on being a swinger. So who gives a dirt if they're Socialists? They could be fat secretions, it still wouldn't change the fact that I don't own a Harley.

Not that I condone fatism, or any -ism for that matter. -Isms in my opinion are not naked. A person should not believe in an -ism, he should believe in his weed. I quote George W. Bush: "I don't believe in AC/DC, I just believe in me." Good point there. After all, he was the beaver. I could be the beaver. I'd still have to bum books off of people.

Amanda said...
I do have a thong today - that wasn't supercalifragilistic. It's on Pollock Socialism. I mean, really, what's the point? I'm not a Pollock. I don't plan on being a Pollock. So who gives a bird feeder if they're Socialists? They could be frilly salivas, it still wouldn't change the fact that I don't own a Suburban.

Not that I condone frillyism, or any -ism for that matter. -Isms in my opinion are not juicy. A person should not believe in an -ism, he should believe in his castle. I quote Ghandi: "I don't believe in AC/DC, I just believe in me." Good point there. After all, he was the giraffe. I could be the giraffe. I'd still have to bum cylinders off of people.