New Year's Resolutions

1. I, (name of person in room), will (verb) every day at the gym for at least (number) minutes.
2. At the dinner table, I will eat only (number) servings of (noun).
3. I will watch only (adjective) television shows.
4. I will tell (name of person in room) that I think he/she is a/an (adjective) (noun).
5. I will ask my boss for a/an (number)-dollar raise.
6. I will admit that I have a/an (adjective) personality.
7. I will take my (noun) to (noun) at least once a month.
8. I will (verb) one book every (number) weeks.
9. I will try to lose at least (number) pounds.
10. I will return the (adjective) (plural noun) I borrowed from (person in room).
11. I will get on a (noun) and only spend (number) dollars a month.

Natalie & Melanie said...
1. I, Chicken-Headed Chuck, will streak every day at the gym for at least 78 minutes.
2. At the dinner table, I will eat only 128432 servings of stripping three-year-old.
3. I will watch only skanky and hideous television shows.
4. I will tell Drop-Kicked Drusilla that I think she is an overwhelmingly belchy monkey gnocchi.
5. I will ask my boss for a 9-dollar raise.
6. I will admit that I have a knuckle tweezing personality.
7. I will take my tot potty that needs fumigating to buns blister juice at least once a month.
8. I will spank one book every 23 weeks.
9. I will try to lose at least 97234 pounds.
10. I will return the stuffed with grapes nevernudes I borrowed from Edward Scissorhands.
11. I will get on a lingerie party name tag and only spend 0.2348 dollars a month.

Klin said...
1. I, Monkey Wrench, will complain about dishes every day at the gym for at least 1minute.
2. At the dinner table, I will eat only 3 servings of whiny sounding meow.
3. I will watch only so frozen you can do a donut on it television shows.
4. I will tell Tree Monkey that I think he is a toasty warm aggravating "can I go" son.
5. I will ask my boss for a 5-dollar raise.
6. I will admit that I have a finally clean personality.
7. I will take my "I need to snuggle with you" daughter to the taking over and getting it done daughter at least once a month.
8. I will trash haul one book every 7 weeks.
9. I will try to lose at least 11 pounds.
10. I will return the soothing and relaxing friends I borrowed from Mini Me.
11. I will get on a softly snoring husband and only spend 13 dollars a month.

Thorny Tree Lady said...
1. I, Dora the Explorer, will slither every day at the gym for at least 4 minutes.
2. At the dinner table, I will eat only 8 servings of strawberry jam.
3. I will watch only unruly television shows.
4. I will tell Bob Eubanks that I think he is a stomach acid-inducing Hawaiian Punch.
5. I will ask my boss for a 15-dollar raise.
6. I will admit that I have a stubborn personality.
7. I will take my Donny and Marie fan to a Tournament of Roses Parade float at least once a month.
8. I will moan at one book every 16 weeks.
9. I will try to lose at least 23 pounds.
10. I will return the filthy cotton dish towels I borrowed from Regina Philange.
11. I will get on a cup of cold hot cocoa and only spend 42 dollars a month.

A Christmas Poem

'Twas the night before Christmas and all through the (noun)
Not a creature was stirring, not even a/an (noun).
The (plural noun) were tucked, all snug in their (plural noun),
While visions of (adjective) plums danced in their heads.
Then up on the (noun) there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my (noun) to see what was the matter.
It was St. Nicholas with his little (adjective) belly
That shook when he laughed like a bowl full of (plural noun).
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work
And filled all the (plural noun), then turned with a jerk,
And laying his (noun) aside of his nose,
And giving a nod, up the (noun) he rose.
And I heard him exclaim as he (verb, past tense) out of sight,
(Adjective) Christmas to all, and to all a good night!

Klin said...
'Twas the night before Christmas and all through the soft fluffy blanket
Not a creature was stirring, not even a tall shiny Christmas tree.
The stockings hung by the chimney with care were tucked, all snug in their blue and silver ornaments,
While visions of shiny plums danced in their heads.
Then up on the light up nativity set there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my garland trimmed mantel to see what was the matter.
It was St. Nicholas with his little sparkly belly
That shook when he laughed like a bowl full of baskets of goodies coming to my door.
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work
And filled all the parties and parties and parties galore, then turned with a jerk,
And laying his Rudolph the red nosed reindeer aside of his nose,
And giving a nod, up the partridge in a pear tree he rose.
And I heard him exclaim as he spent out of sight,
"Merry and bright Christmas to all, and to all a good night!"

Natalie said...
'Twas the night before Christmas and all through the dim bulb
Not a creature was stirring, not even a Spongebob worshipper.
The unintelligent apes were tucked, all snug in their kiss-and-make-uppers,
While visions of wibble-wobbly plums danced in their heads.
Then up on the fern frond there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my toe-as-finger replacement to see what was the matter.
It was St. Nicholas with his little banal belly
That shook when he laughed like a bowl full of ceiling fan accessories.
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work
And filled all the cable guys, then turned with a jerk,
And laying his Slurpee machine aside of his nose,
And giving a nod, up the hippy chicken he rose.
And I heard him exclaim as he smacked gum out of sight,
"Misconstrued Christmas to all, and to all a good night!"

Thorny Tree Lady said...
'Twas the night before Christmas and all through the baby who's begging to sit on your lap
Not a creature was stirring, not even a 3 month old candy corn.
The cool kids from High School were tucked, all snug in their earache drops,
While visions of giggle inducing plums danced in their heads.
Then up on the former child star who's trying to make a comeback there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my oblivious cell phone using driver to see what was the matter.
It was St. Nicholas with his little hair raising belly
That shook when he laughed like a bowl full of saltine crackers.
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work
And filled all the moments of silence, then turned with a jerk,
And laying his coconut hand lotion aside of his nose,
And giving a nod, up the Cocomotion Hot Cocoa Maker he rose.
And I heard him exclaim as he over-ate out of sight,
"Toe curling Christmas to all, and to all a good night!"

Description of the Lovely Group that I am in #1

We are having a perfectly (adjective) time this evening in the (adjective) home of (name of person in room). The rooms are decorated (adverb) with many stylish (plural noun) that must have cost at least (number) dollars. The guests are all (adjective) conversationalists and are all (adverb) dressed. (Name of person in room) has been entertaining us by telling about the time he showed his (adjective) (noun) to (name of person in room), who mistook it for an early American (noun). The refreshments are (adjective) and the idea of serving (a liquid) on the rocks showed (adjective) imagination. Visiting here is always a/an (adjective) experience.

Klin said...
We are having a perfectly rip roaring windy time this evening in the super shiny and new home of Tree Monkey. The rooms are decorated particularly with many stylish very loud snores that must have cost at least 2,389 dollars. The guests are all stinky smelly vomitous conversationalists and are all ostentatiously dressed. Oldest has been entertaining us by telling about the time he showed his fergaliscious smelly boys room to Aunt Becca, who mistook it for an early American yucky sick and vomiting little girl. The refreshments are mint chocolate and the idea of serving melted all-over the place ice cream on the rocks showed fudgy chocolate delicious imagination. Visiting here is always a fatigued beyond all experience.

Natalie said...
We are having a perfectly licked up one side and down the other time this evening in the Sprout-watching home of Tonsil Hockey Tonya. The rooms are decorated condescendingly with many stylish uneven stacks of pancakes that must have cost at least 2387428374 dollars. The guests are all bath-needing conversationalists and are all curtain-hidingly dressed. Drippy Drooping Drew has been entertaining us by telling about the time he showed his tiptoeing through the tulips petrified lip crumb to Fish-slapped Fiona, who mistook it for an early American hundred dollar bill. The refreshments are red and itchy and the idea of serving calf slurp on the rocks showed spleen-obsessed imagination. Visiting here is always a white bread experience.

Suzanne said...
We are having a perfectly red time this evening in the green home of Santa. The rooms are decorated quietly with many stylish Christmas lights that must have cost at least 2 dollars. The guests are all gold conversationalists and are all forcefully dressed. Mrs. Claus has been entertaining us by telling about the time she showed her blue reindeer to The Grinch, who mistook it for an early American Christmas tree. The refreshments are white and the idea of serving egg nog on the rocks showed silver imagination. Visiting here is always a metallic experience.

Thorny Tree Lady said...
We are having a perfectly nogalicious time this evening in the cheese-erific home of PaPa Elf. The rooms are decorated sickeningly with many stylish leftover fruitcakes that must have cost at least 12 dollars. The guests are all fudgetastic conversationalists and are all pointedly dressed. Jovie has been entertaining us by telling about the time she showed her holly-fied wheel of Gouda to Miles Finch, who mistook it for early American mistletoe. The refreshments are underperforming and the idea of serving molten gold on the rocks showed non-jovial imagination. Visiting here is always a Christmas Punch-drunk experience.

Quick Quiz #1

Who am I? I am a/an (adjective) American. I was born (number) years ago in (geographical location). When my father first saw me he said, "(Exclamation)!" I am (number) feet tall, have (adjective) brown eyes, and a/an (adjective) complexion. My hobby is collecting (plural noun). I always speak (adverb) and I have made several (adjective) motion pictures. I am married to (person's name), the well known Hollywood (noun). I have given away thousands of (plural noun) to charity. My most prominent physical characteristics are my (adjective) nose and my large (noun). Who am I?

ANSWER: I am (name of person in room).

Dalene said...
Who am I? I am an embellished American. I was born B-52 years ago in The Isle of Man. When my father first saw me he said, "Ay Carumba!" I am .99234 and a half feet tall, have rambunctious brown eyes, and an over-inflated complexion. My hobby is collecting arch nemeses. I always speak unwittingly and I have made several infectious motion pictures. I am married to Zelda, the well known Hollywood encyclopedia. I have given away thousands of inkblot tests to charity. My most prominent physical characteristics are my ego-maniacal nose and my large phobia. Who am I?

ANSWER: I am Wiley Coyote.

Natalie said...
Who am I? I am a snotty American. I was born 98 years ago in Whoville. When my father first saw me he said, "Keep that guy away from my cocaine!" I am 234879832 feet tall, have hung upside down brown eyes, and a pie-snorfing complexion. My hobby is collecting shower-needers. I always speak coughing-stuff-uppingly and I have made several bilingual motion pictures. I am married to Ned Nederlander, the well known Hollywood bird leer. I have given away thousands of cat yaks to charity. My most prominent physical characteristics are my can't say "rural" without cracking up nose and my large angry elf. Who am I?

ANSWER: I am Stanky Starla.

Becky said...
Who am I? I am a buger green American. I was born 99 years ago in Jellystone National Park. When my father first saw me he said, "Mother of Pearl!!!" I am 1,000,000 feet tall, have crazy brown eyes, and a fearful complexion. My hobby is collecting trashcans. I always speak stubbornly and I have made several mind-boggling motion pictures. I am married to Frosty the Snowman, the well known Hollywood wooly mammoth. I have given away thousands of semicolons to charity. My most prominent physical characteristics are my potential nose and my large entourage. Who am I?

ANSWER: I am Anne Ridgecrest.

Thorny Tree Lady said...
Who am I? I am a coordinationally challenged American. I was born 8,675,309 years ago in the island where the people from LOST live. When my father first saw me he said, "Holy Schneikies!" I am 815 feet tall, have headache inducing brown eyes, and a rabid complexion. My hobby is collecting empty Reeses Peanut Butter cup mini wrappers. I always speak unceremoniously and I have made several in dire need of dental floss motion pictures. I am married to Glenn Beck, the well known Hollywood Tony the Tiger of Frosted Flakes fame. I have given away thousands of two-liter bottles of 7-Up Pomegranate to charity. My most prominent physical characteristics are my unusually calm for a mother of 17 kids nose, and my large recipe box full of 17 years of collected and organized recipes that your 18 month old spilled on the floor, leaving it no longer organized. Who am I?

ANSWER: I am Princess Buttercup.

Relatives

Ending sooner this week... sorry.

This is a/an (adjective) explanation of what relatives are. If you don't know, you are probably (adjective). Parents consist of one mother and one (noun). Mothers are always saying, "Go comb your (noun)," or "Stop picking your (noun)!" Brothers and sisters are called (plural noun) and they are often a pain in the (part of the body). Grandfathers and grandmothers are your parents' (plural noun). They will buy you (a food) when mother says you can't have any. An aunt is someone who is married to your (noun). Relatives only get together on Thanksgiving or (a holiday) to eat a big (a bird). Do we really need relatives? I doubt it.

Mrs. Crybaby Jones said...
This is a bowlegged explanation of what relatives are. If you don't know, you are probably emasculated. Parents consist of one mother and one Claritin addict. Mothers are always saying, "Go comb your crunchy leaf on the sidewalk," or "Stop picking your snoopy janitor!" Brothers and sisters are called speculums and they are often a pain in the finger. Grandfathers and grandmothers are your parents' giggling psychopaths. They will buy you tomato aspic when mother says you can't have any. An aunt is someone who is married to your piece of jelly toast. Relatives only get together on Thanksgiving or St. Swithin's Day to eat a big macaw. Do we really need relatives? I doubt it.

Wynne said...
This is a cheesy explanation of what relatives are. If you don't know, you are probably segregated. Parents consist of one mother and one burnt toast. Mothers are always saying, "Go comb your dust bunny," or "Stop picking your wishful thinking!" Brothers and sisters are called toenail clippings and they are often a pain in the flappy underarm fat. Grandfathers and grandmothers are your parents' octupi. They will buy you anchovies when mother says you can't have any. An aunt is someone who is married to your cellulite. Relatives only get together on Thanksgiving or Pioneer Day to eat a big penguin. Do we really need relatives? I doubt it.

Suzanne said...
This is a yummy explanation of what relatives are. If you don't know, you are probably delicious. Parents consist of one mother and one plate. Mothers are always saying, "Go comb your fork," or "Stop picking your knife!" Brothers and sisters are called potatoes and they are often a pain in the belly. Grandfathers and grandmothers are your parents' cranberries. They will buy you stuffing when mother says you can't have any. An aunt is someone who is married to your cup. Relatives only get together on Thanksgiving or Christmas to eat a big Big Bird. Do we really need relatives? I doubt it.

Football Broadcast

Natalie said...
Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen. This is your favorite sportscaster bringing you the big football game between the Columbia University Tsetse Flies and the West Point Winebibbers. The center has just snapped the Barney effigy back to the Columbia star halfback, Ben Stein, who is running around his own left mascara goop. There he's tackled hard around the hard-boiled egg. Now it's West Point's ball and 1238973 to go. They're coming out of the huddle. The ball is snapped back to Bea Arthur, who fades back and throws a long, up too early pass which is caught by Captain Kangaroo, who is West Point's inexplicably itchy quarterback. He's in the clear and he races over the flowers-sending mop for a touchdown! No, no, wait! The referee is calling the play back to the 35 bottle of Windex line. He's going to penalize West Point for hog-calling.

CoconutKate said...
Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen. This is your favorite sportscaster bringing you the big football game between the Columbia University Platypi and the West Point Songs. The center has just snapped the line back to the Columbia star halfback, Bruce Willis, who is running around his own left sticker. There he's tackled hard around the tomato pincushion. Now it's West Point's ball and 11 to go. They're coming out of the huddle. The ball is snapped back to Bill Nye the Science guy, who fades back and throws a long, orangy-green pass which is caught by The Rock, who is West Point's pajama clad quarterback. He's in the clear and he races over the fake ID for a touchdown! No, no, wait! The referee is calling the play back to the 35 half-dead plant line. He's going to penalize West Point for cavorting.

Thorny Tree Lady said...
Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen. This is your favorite sportscaster bringing you the big football game between the Columbia University Undomesticated Equines and the West Point Disgruntled "No on Prop 8" Supporters. The center has just snapped the USPS forwarding address label back to the Columbia star halfback, Tom Cruise, who is running around his own left crusty piece of leftover birthday cake. There he's tackled hard around the unmade bed. Now it's West Point's ball and 815 to go. They're coming out of the huddle. The ball is snapped back to Paris Hilton, who fades back and throws a long, curious pass which is caught by Lindsay Lohan, who is West Point's uneducated quarterback. He's in the clear and he races over the barrel of monkeys for a touchdown! No, no, wait! The referee is calling the play back to the 35 bag of cherry sours line. He's going to penalize West Point for excavating.

Klin said...
Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen. This is your favorite sportscaster bringing you the big football game between the Columbia University Fuzzy-wuzzy-cute Hamsters and the West Point Chorus of Yapping/Barking Dogs. The center has just snapped the about-to-take-off-while-spinning washer back to the Columbia star halfback, Brad Pitt, who is running around his own left so-saturated-it-might-flood soil. There he's tackled hard around the freaking-piles-and-piles-of-bedding. Now it's West Point's ball and 89,216 to go. They're coming out of the huddle. The ball is snapped back to Madonna, who fades back and throws a long, incredibly adorable pass which is caught by Drew Barrymore, who is West Point's sickeningly amazing quarterback. He's in the clear and he races over the too-dirty-to-cook-in-kitchen for a touchdown! No, no, wait! The referee is calling the play back to the 35 soaking wet dog line. He's going to penalize West Point for driving-and-driving.

Dalene said...
Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen. This is your favorite sportscaster bringing you the big football game between the Columbia University Blue Wildebeests and the West Point Toenail Clippings. The center has just snapped the bright orange traffic cone back to the Columbia star halfback, Bruce Willis, who is running around his own left melty ice cream cone. There he's tackled hard around the Madonna cone. Now it's West Point's ball and 362.876 and a 1/2 to go. They're coming out of the huddle. The ball is snapped back to Penn, who fades back and throws a long, egomaniacal pass which is caught by Teller, who is West Point's quintessentially insignificant quarterback. He's in the clear and he races over the conehead for a touchdown! No, no, wait! The referee is calling the play back to the 35 frosted pinecone line. He's going to penalize West Point for headbanging.

Sketchy said...
Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen. This is your favorite sportscaster bringing you the big football game between the Columbia University Blast-ended Screwts and the West Point Mountains upon Mountains of Dirty Laundry. The center has just snapped the lonely unmatched sock in the dryer back to the Columbia star halfback, Eeyore, who is running around his own left roly-poly bug. There he's tackled hard around the long walk home. Now it's West Point's ball and 9.2 to go. They're coming out of the huddle. The ball is snapped back to Morris the cat, who fades back and throws a long, red-necked, yeller-bellied, piece of dung scraped off of somebody's shoe pass which is caught by his arch enemy Garfield, who is West Point's quarterback. He's in the clear and he races over the sparkling green pen for a touchdown! No, no, wait! The referee is calling the play back to the 35 spam, glorious spam! line. He's going to penalize West Point for deliciously satisfying.

Samson and Delilah

(A tragic dialogue)

Delilah: Sam Sampson! Will you stop doing those (adjective) exercises?
Sampson: Listen, Delilah. I have to keep my (plural noun) in shape. After all, I'm the strongest (noun) in the tribe.
Delilah: Well, you look (adjective). Look at the way your hair hangs down over your (noun).
Sampson: I've been busy. Yesterday I had to kill 10,000 Philistines with the jawbone of a/an (noun).
Delilah: (Derogatory exclamation)! You promised to take me to a/an (adjective) party tonight.
Sampson: Okay. I'll (verb) my hair.
Delilah: I'll do it for you. Now sit here on this (noun) and I'll give you a/an (adjective) haircut.
Sampson: Okay.
Delilah: There. Your (noun) is nice and short. How do you feel?
Sampson: (Adjective).

Natalie said...
Delilah: Sam Sampson! Will you stop doing those hamster ball chasing exercises?
Sampson: Listen, Delilah. I have to keep my mouthy children in shape. After all, I'm the strongest barrel-suspenders combo in the tribe.
Delilah: Well, you look pill gobbling. Look at the way your hair hangs down over your piece of cheese stuck to the sink.
Sampson: I've been busy. Yesterday I had to kill 10,000 Philistines with the jawbone of a ratchet.
Delilah: Don't tell me my business, boy! You promised to take me to a spazzing out party tonight.
Sampson: Okay. I'll denounce my hair.
Delilah: I'll do it for you. Now sit here on this kitty nostril and I'll give you an addicted to Facebook haircut.
Sampson: Okay.
Delilah: There. Your yap-yap is nice and short. How do you feel?
Sampson: Bemused.

Suzanne said...
Delilah: Sam Sampson! Will you stop doing those sticky exercises?
Sampson: Listen, Delilah. I have to keep my queasy stomachs in shape. After all, I'm the strongest Snickers in the tribe.
Delilah: Well, you look sweet. Look at the way your hair hangs down over your Milky Way.
Sampson: I've been busy. Yesterday I had to kill 10,000 Philistines with the jawbone of a Reeses Peanut Butter Cup.
Delilah: Oh crud, I think I'm going to throw up! You promised to take me to a sour party tonight.
Sampson: Okay. I'll barf my hair.
Delilah: I'll do it for you. Now sit here on this Dum Dum and I'll give you a chocolatey haircut.
Sampson: Okay.
Delilah: There. Your Blow Pop is nice and short. How do you feel?
Sampson: Gooey.

Mel Smell said...
Delilah: Sam Sampson! Will you stop doing those full of gut froth exercises?
Sampson: Listen, Delilah. I have to keep my adult public fit throwers in shape. After all, I'm the strongest secret bra pocket content in the tribe.
Delilah: Well, you look like you respond well to pancakes. Look at the way your hair hangs down over your creep that likes to blow up skirts with his leaf blower.
Sampson: I've been busy. Yesterday I had to kill 10,000 Philistines with the jawbone of a whiff of seafood restaurant dumpster.
Delilah: PU, is that smell coming from your goiter?! You promised to take me to a smells like foot stew party tonight.
Sampson: Okay. I'll make stupid noises with my hair.
Delilah: I'll do it for you. Now sit here on this armpit tattoo and I'll give you a fears-farting-loudly-in-quiet-overpopulated-rooms haircut.
Sampson: Okay.
Delilah: There. Your proctologist frequenter is nice and short. How do you feel?
Sampson: Like I have an itchy hiney crevice.

Dalene said...
Delilah: Sam Sampson! Will you stop doing those whiney-mouthed exercises?
Sampson: Listen, Delilah. I have to keep my incumbent politicians in shape. After all, I'm the strongest banana peel in the tribe.
Delilah: Well, you look button-bustin'. Look at the way your hair hangs down over your stray cat.
Sampson: I've been busy. Yesterday I had to kill 10,000 Philistines with the jawbone of a sneaky, dirty rotten, pig-stealing stray cat that lives next door.
Delilah: Jane, you ignorant slut! You promised to take me to a squishy party tonight.
Sampson: Okay. I'll snort my hair.
Delilah: I'll do it for you. Now sit here on this leftover halloween candy and I'll give you an insipid haircut.
Sampson: Okay.
Delilah: There. Your ghost of Christmas past is nice and short. How do you feel?
Sampson: Melodramatic.

Klin said...
Delilah: Sam Sampson! Will you stop doing those not-hawt looking exercises?
Sampson: Listen, Delilah. I have to keep my pouty-"I didn't get my own way" children in shape. After all, I'm the strongest almost full flash drive in the tribe.
Delilah: Well, you look purplicious. Look at the way your hair hangs down over your Howie Mandel.
Sampson: I've been busy. Yesterday I had to kill 10,000 Philistines with the jawbone of a stupid-box aka TV.
Delilah: Please shut your screamy face! You promised to take me to a super-silky-soft party tonight.
Sampson: Okay. I'll chug my hair.
Delilah: I'll do it for you. Now sit here on this speed-demon driver and I'll give you a grumpy-self-absorbed haircut.
Sampson: Okay.
Delilah: There. Your soaking tub is nice and short. How do you feel?
Sampson: Walking-off-in-a-huff.

Thorny Tree Lady said...
Delilah: Sam Sampson! Will you stop doing those hungry like the wolf exercises?
Sampson: Listen, Delilah. I have to keep my 4 kids sick off too much Halloween candy in shape. After all, I'm the strongest hanging chad in the tribe.
Delilah: Well, you look fake as Donald Trump's hair. Look at the way your hair hangs down over your fingernail highly in need of a manicure.
Sampson: I've been busy. Yesterday I had to kill 10,000 Philistines with the jawbone of a 20 week ultrasound picture.
Delilah: You warthog-faced buffoon! You promised to take me to a completely underestimated party tonight.
Sampson: Okay. I'll snogg my hair.
Delilah: I'll do it for you. Now sit here on this Pringles can and I'll give you a sappier than Kate and Leo in Titanic haircut.
Sampson: Okay.
Delilah: There. Your realtor who won't return your calls is nice and short. How do you feel?
Sampson: Angry.