(A tragic dialogue)
Delilah: Sam Sampson! Will you stop doing those (adjective) exercises?
Sampson: Listen, Delilah. I have to keep my (plural noun) in shape. After all, I'm the strongest (noun) in the tribe.
Delilah: Well, you look (adjective). Look at the way your hair hangs down over your (noun).
Sampson: I've been busy. Yesterday I had to kill 10,000 Philistines with the jawbone of a/an (noun).
Delilah: (Derogatory exclamation)! You promised to take me to a/an (adjective) party tonight.
Sampson: Okay. I'll (verb) my hair.
Delilah: I'll do it for you. Now sit here on this (noun) and I'll give you a/an (adjective) haircut.
Sampson: Okay.
Delilah: There. Your (noun) is nice and short. How do you feel?
Sampson: (Adjective).
Natalie said...
Delilah: Sam Sampson! Will you stop doing those hamster ball chasing exercises?
Sampson: Listen, Delilah. I have to keep my mouthy children in shape. After all, I'm the strongest barrel-suspenders combo in the tribe.
Delilah: Well, you look pill gobbling. Look at the way your hair hangs down over your piece of cheese stuck to the sink.
Sampson: I've been busy. Yesterday I had to kill 10,000 Philistines with the jawbone of a ratchet.
Delilah: Don't tell me my business, boy! You promised to take me to a spazzing out party tonight.
Sampson: Okay. I'll denounce my hair.
Delilah: I'll do it for you. Now sit here on this kitty nostril and I'll give you an addicted to Facebook haircut.
Sampson: Okay.
Delilah: There. Your yap-yap is nice and short. How do you feel?
Sampson: Bemused.
Suzanne said...
Delilah: Sam Sampson! Will you stop doing those sticky exercises?
Sampson: Listen, Delilah. I have to keep my queasy stomachs in shape. After all, I'm the strongest Snickers in the tribe.
Delilah: Well, you look sweet. Look at the way your hair hangs down over your Milky Way.
Sampson: I've been busy. Yesterday I had to kill 10,000 Philistines with the jawbone of a Reeses Peanut Butter Cup.
Delilah: Oh crud, I think I'm going to throw up! You promised to take me to a sour party tonight.
Sampson: Okay. I'll barf my hair.
Delilah: I'll do it for you. Now sit here on this Dum Dum and I'll give you a chocolatey haircut.
Sampson: Okay.
Delilah: There. Your Blow Pop is nice and short. How do you feel?
Sampson: Gooey.
Mel Smell said...
Delilah: Sam Sampson! Will you stop doing those full of gut froth exercises?
Sampson: Listen, Delilah. I have to keep my adult public fit throwers in shape. After all, I'm the strongest secret bra pocket content in the tribe.
Delilah: Well, you look like you respond well to pancakes. Look at the way your hair hangs down over your creep that likes to blow up skirts with his leaf blower.
Sampson: I've been busy. Yesterday I had to kill 10,000 Philistines with the jawbone of a whiff of seafood restaurant dumpster.
Delilah: PU, is that smell coming from your goiter?! You promised to take me to a smells like foot stew party tonight.
Sampson: Okay. I'll make stupid noises with my hair.
Delilah: I'll do it for you. Now sit here on this armpit tattoo and I'll give you a fears-farting-loudly-in-quiet-overpopulated-rooms haircut.
Sampson: Okay.
Delilah: There. Your proctologist frequenter is nice and short. How do you feel?
Sampson: Like I have an itchy hiney crevice.
Dalene said...
Delilah: Sam Sampson! Will you stop doing those whiney-mouthed exercises?
Sampson: Listen, Delilah. I have to keep my incumbent politicians in shape. After all, I'm the strongest banana peel in the tribe.
Delilah: Well, you look button-bustin'. Look at the way your hair hangs down over your stray cat.
Sampson: I've been busy. Yesterday I had to kill 10,000 Philistines with the jawbone of a sneaky, dirty rotten, pig-stealing stray cat that lives next door.
Delilah: Jane, you ignorant slut! You promised to take me to a squishy party tonight.
Sampson: Okay. I'll snort my hair.
Delilah: I'll do it for you. Now sit here on this leftover halloween candy and I'll give you an insipid haircut.
Sampson: Okay.
Delilah: There. Your ghost of Christmas past is nice and short. How do you feel?
Sampson: Melodramatic.
Klin said...
Delilah: Sam Sampson! Will you stop doing those not-hawt looking exercises?
Sampson: Listen, Delilah. I have to keep my pouty-"I didn't get my own way" children in shape. After all, I'm the strongest almost full flash drive in the tribe.
Delilah: Well, you look purplicious. Look at the way your hair hangs down over your Howie Mandel.
Sampson: I've been busy. Yesterday I had to kill 10,000 Philistines with the jawbone of a stupid-box aka TV.
Delilah: Please shut your screamy face! You promised to take me to a super-silky-soft party tonight.
Sampson: Okay. I'll chug my hair.
Delilah: I'll do it for you. Now sit here on this speed-demon driver and I'll give you a grumpy-self-absorbed haircut.
Sampson: Okay.
Delilah: There. Your soaking tub is nice and short. How do you feel?
Sampson: Walking-off-in-a-huff.
Thorny Tree Lady said...
Delilah: Sam Sampson! Will you stop doing those hungry like the wolf exercises?
Sampson: Listen, Delilah. I have to keep my 4 kids sick off too much Halloween candy in shape. After all, I'm the strongest hanging chad in the tribe.
Delilah: Well, you look fake as Donald Trump's hair. Look at the way your hair hangs down over your fingernail highly in need of a manicure.
Sampson: I've been busy. Yesterday I had to kill 10,000 Philistines with the jawbone of a 20 week ultrasound picture.
Delilah: You warthog-faced buffoon! You promised to take me to a completely underestimated party tonight.
Sampson: Okay. I'll snogg my hair.
Delilah: I'll do it for you. Now sit here on this Pringles can and I'll give you a sappier than Kate and Leo in Titanic haircut.
Sampson: Okay.
Delilah: There. Your realtor who won't return your calls is nice and short. How do you feel?
Sampson: Angry.
Friday, November 7, 2008
Friday, October 31, 2008
Voting Made Easy as One, Two, Three
Here are some very (adjective) instructions on how to vote, brought to you by the Citizens for (verb ending in ING) Awareness:
Step 1: Sign in with one of the (plural noun) at the registration table. You may have to show them your (noun) to prove your identity.
Step 2: Proceed (adverb) to an available (verb ending in ING) booth. (Be sure to close the (noun) behind you so that no one can watch you (verb).)
Step 3: How you vote varies from (noun) to (noun). In some states, you (verb) by pulling a/an (noun) with your (part of the body). In others, you must mark a ballot by placing a/an (letter of the alphabet) in a small (noun) opposite your candidate's (noun).
"(Exclamation!)" you will cry. "Voting's as easy as (type of food)!" So be sure to (verb) on Election Day, because every (noun) counts!
Thorny Tree Lady said...
Here are some very haunting instructions on how to vote, brought to you by the Citizens for Gazing Awareness:
Step 1: Sign in with one of the East High Wildcats at the registration table. You may have to show them your dreamy Troy Bolton to prove your identity.
Step 2: Proceed expeditiously to an available whining booth. (Be sure to close the baby bottle full of rancid milk behind you so that no one can watch you explode.)
Step 3: How you vote varies from dead cricket under my couch to crusty booger. In some states, you enrage by pulling a glorious can of diet coke with your uvula. In others, you must mark a ballot by placing an A in a small crowded freeway opposite your candidate's empty gas tank.
"Awwww, FIDDLESTICKS!" you will cry. "Voting's as easy as homemade carmel apple!" So be sure to sleep on Election Day, because every rubber baby buggy bumper counts!
Dalene said...
Here are some very utterly inconsequential instructions on how to vote, brought to you by the Citizens for Stunning Awareness:
Step 1: Sign in with one of the fleabites at the registration table. You may have to show them your volcano to prove your identity.
Step 2: Proceed conspicuously to an available exacerbating booth. (Be sure to close the chickpea behind you so that no one can watch you frolic.)
Step 3: How you vote varies from anvil to nunnery. In some states, you hop by pulling a big toe with your left ventricle. In others, you must mark a ballot by placing an H in a small clavicle opposite your candidate's push-up.
"Oy vey!" you will cry. "Voting's as easy as anchovies!" So be sure to conceive on Election Day, because every buckle counts!
Klin said...
Here are some very sneaky instructions on how to vote, brought to you by the Citizens for Smelling Awareness:
Step 1: Sign in with one of the splatters at the registration table. You may have to show them your Halloween to prove your identity.
Step 2: Proceed obnoxiously to an available puking booth. (Be sure to close the fingernail polish behind you so that no one can watch you behave.)
Step 3: How you vote varies from baby powder to bouquet. In some states, you disapprove by pulling a Malibu Barbie with your navel. In others, you must mark a ballot by placing a K in a small monkey opposite your candidate's picture.
"HOLY MOLY!" you will cry. "Voting's as easy as pizza!" So be sure to muddle on Election Day, because every bandaid counts!
Step 1: Sign in with one of the (plural noun) at the registration table. You may have to show them your (noun) to prove your identity.
Step 2: Proceed (adverb) to an available (verb ending in ING) booth. (Be sure to close the (noun) behind you so that no one can watch you (verb).)
Step 3: How you vote varies from (noun) to (noun). In some states, you (verb) by pulling a/an (noun) with your (part of the body). In others, you must mark a ballot by placing a/an (letter of the alphabet) in a small (noun) opposite your candidate's (noun).
"(Exclamation!)" you will cry. "Voting's as easy as (type of food)!" So be sure to (verb) on Election Day, because every (noun) counts!
Thorny Tree Lady said...
Here are some very haunting instructions on how to vote, brought to you by the Citizens for Gazing Awareness:
Step 1: Sign in with one of the East High Wildcats at the registration table. You may have to show them your dreamy Troy Bolton to prove your identity.
Step 2: Proceed expeditiously to an available whining booth. (Be sure to close the baby bottle full of rancid milk behind you so that no one can watch you explode.)
Step 3: How you vote varies from dead cricket under my couch to crusty booger. In some states, you enrage by pulling a glorious can of diet coke with your uvula. In others, you must mark a ballot by placing an A in a small crowded freeway opposite your candidate's empty gas tank.
"Awwww, FIDDLESTICKS!" you will cry. "Voting's as easy as homemade carmel apple!" So be sure to sleep on Election Day, because every rubber baby buggy bumper counts!
Dalene said...
Here are some very utterly inconsequential instructions on how to vote, brought to you by the Citizens for Stunning Awareness:
Step 1: Sign in with one of the fleabites at the registration table. You may have to show them your volcano to prove your identity.
Step 2: Proceed conspicuously to an available exacerbating booth. (Be sure to close the chickpea behind you so that no one can watch you frolic.)
Step 3: How you vote varies from anvil to nunnery. In some states, you hop by pulling a big toe with your left ventricle. In others, you must mark a ballot by placing an H in a small clavicle opposite your candidate's push-up.
"Oy vey!" you will cry. "Voting's as easy as anchovies!" So be sure to conceive on Election Day, because every buckle counts!
Klin said...
Here are some very sneaky instructions on how to vote, brought to you by the Citizens for Smelling Awareness:
Step 1: Sign in with one of the splatters at the registration table. You may have to show them your Halloween to prove your identity.
Step 2: Proceed obnoxiously to an available puking booth. (Be sure to close the fingernail polish behind you so that no one can watch you behave.)
Step 3: How you vote varies from baby powder to bouquet. In some states, you disapprove by pulling a Malibu Barbie with your navel. In others, you must mark a ballot by placing a K in a small monkey opposite your candidate's picture.
"HOLY MOLY!" you will cry. "Voting's as easy as pizza!" So be sure to muddle on Election Day, because every bandaid counts!
Saturday, October 18, 2008
Eat, Drink, and Be Sick
An inspector from the Department of Health and (noun) Services paid a surprise visit to our (adjective) school cafeteria. The lunch special, prepared by our (adjective) dietician, was spaghetti and (noun)-balls with a choice of either a/an (noun) salad or french (plural noun). The inspector found the meat-(plural noun) to be overcooked and discovered a live (noun) in the fries, causing him to have a/an (part of the body)ache. In response, he threw up all over his (plural noun). In his report, the inspector (adverb) recommended that the school cafeteria serve only nutritious (plural noun) as well as low-calorie (plural noun), and that all of the saturated (plural noun) be eliminated. He rated the cafeteria a/an (letter of the alphabet)-minus.
Tori:) said...
An inspector from the Department of Health and Taco Shell Services paid a surprise visit to our crusty school cafeteria. The lunch special, prepared by our flaky dietician, was spaghetti and cotton ball-balls with a choice of either a lemon wedge salad or french cocker spaniels. The inspector found the meat-zits to be overcooked and discovered a live eye booger in the fries, causing him to have an earlobe ache. In response, he threw up all over his phone books. In his report, the inspector gleefully recommended that the school cafeteria serve only nutritious films as well as low-calorie toenails, and that all of the saturated carpet fibers be eliminated. He rated the cafeteria a V-minus.
Klin said...
An inspector from the Department of Health and Leaf Covered Lawn Services paid a surprise visit to our scrumpdillyuptious school cafeteria. The lunch special, prepared by our super fast dietician, was spaghetti and rain spotted car-balls with a choice of either an 8 inches of snow salad or french piles of files. The inspector found the meat-shattered windshields to be overcooked and discovered a live very long meeting in the fries, causing him to have a dermatitis ache. In response, he threw up all over his aching feets. In his report, the inspector snuggily recommended that the school cafeteria serve only nutritious baskets of laundry needing folded as well as low-calorie tall chairs, and that all of the saturated burning logs be eliminated. He rated the cafeteria a Q-minus.
Dalene said...
An inspector from the Department of Health and Rotunda Services paid a surprise visit to our half-naked school cafeteria. The lunch special, prepared by our existential dietician, was spaghetti and global economic crisis-balls with a choice of either a last can of beer on the wall salad or french bare feet. The inspector found the meat-tiny green frogs to be overcooked and discovered a live deep sigh in the fries, causing him to have a funny bone ache. In response, he threw up all over his bowls of hot fudge sauce. In his report, the inspector grotesquely recommended that the school cafeteria serve only nutritious crisp autumn leaves as well as low-calorie half-baked ideas, and that all of the saturated sunken-faced trading-floor dropouts be eliminated. He rated the cafeteria a Z-minus.
CoconutKate said...
An inspector from the Department of Health and Ribbon Services paid a surprise visit to our striped school cafeteria. The lunch special, prepared by our fuzzy dietician, was spaghetti and cardboard box-balls with a choice of either a surgical tubing salad or french sand boxes. The inspector found the meat-cars to be overcooked and discovered a live insurance card in the fries, causing him to have an epidermis ache. In response, he threw up all over his cribs. In his report, the inspector calmly recommended that the school cafeteria serve only nutritious diamond rings as well as low-calorie muskrat, and that all of the saturated knives be eliminated. He rated the cafeteria a P-minus.
Tori:) said...
An inspector from the Department of Health and Taco Shell Services paid a surprise visit to our crusty school cafeteria. The lunch special, prepared by our flaky dietician, was spaghetti and cotton ball-balls with a choice of either a lemon wedge salad or french cocker spaniels. The inspector found the meat-zits to be overcooked and discovered a live eye booger in the fries, causing him to have an earlobe ache. In response, he threw up all over his phone books. In his report, the inspector gleefully recommended that the school cafeteria serve only nutritious films as well as low-calorie toenails, and that all of the saturated carpet fibers be eliminated. He rated the cafeteria a V-minus.
Klin said...
An inspector from the Department of Health and Leaf Covered Lawn Services paid a surprise visit to our scrumpdillyuptious school cafeteria. The lunch special, prepared by our super fast dietician, was spaghetti and rain spotted car-balls with a choice of either an 8 inches of snow salad or french piles of files. The inspector found the meat-shattered windshields to be overcooked and discovered a live very long meeting in the fries, causing him to have a dermatitis ache. In response, he threw up all over his aching feets. In his report, the inspector snuggily recommended that the school cafeteria serve only nutritious baskets of laundry needing folded as well as low-calorie tall chairs, and that all of the saturated burning logs be eliminated. He rated the cafeteria a Q-minus.
Dalene said...
An inspector from the Department of Health and Rotunda Services paid a surprise visit to our half-naked school cafeteria. The lunch special, prepared by our existential dietician, was spaghetti and global economic crisis-balls with a choice of either a last can of beer on the wall salad or french bare feet. The inspector found the meat-tiny green frogs to be overcooked and discovered a live deep sigh in the fries, causing him to have a funny bone ache. In response, he threw up all over his bowls of hot fudge sauce. In his report, the inspector grotesquely recommended that the school cafeteria serve only nutritious crisp autumn leaves as well as low-calorie half-baked ideas, and that all of the saturated sunken-faced trading-floor dropouts be eliminated. He rated the cafeteria a Z-minus.
CoconutKate said...
An inspector from the Department of Health and Ribbon Services paid a surprise visit to our striped school cafeteria. The lunch special, prepared by our fuzzy dietician, was spaghetti and cardboard box-balls with a choice of either a surgical tubing salad or french sand boxes. The inspector found the meat-cars to be overcooked and discovered a live insurance card in the fries, causing him to have an epidermis ache. In response, he threw up all over his cribs. In his report, the inspector calmly recommended that the school cafeteria serve only nutritious diamond rings as well as low-calorie muskrat, and that all of the saturated knives be eliminated. He rated the cafeteria a P-minus.
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
Our School
The school theme continues...
(Name of school) is one of America's (adjective, superlative) institutions of (adjective) learning.
The student body is composed of (number) males and (number) (plural noun). The (same plural noun) make the best grades. Students can eat lunch in the (adjective) school cafeteria which features boiled (plural noun) and (noun) sandwiches, with all the (liquid) they can drink, for only 74 cents. The principal of the school, (a famous person), is raising money to build a new (noun) laboratory and a new football (noun). Any student who goes to this school can consider himself very (adjective).
Suzanne said...
The School of Hard Knocks is one of America's stinkiest institutions of red learning.
The student body is composed of 5 males and 2 clouds. The clouds make the best grades. Students can eat lunch in the yellow school cafeteria which features boiled mountains and grass sandwiches, with all the water they can drink, for only 74 cents. The principal of the school, John McCain, is raising money to build a new house laboratory and a new football bush. Any student who goes to this school can consider himself very blue.
Klin said...
Juliet's Beauty School is one of America's scariest institutions of ripped learning.
The student body is composed of 58 males and 129 decorations. The decorations make the best grades. Students can eat lunch in the hard school cafeteria which features boiled sea shells and candle sandwiches, with all the thick, sticky molasses they can drink, for only 74 cents. The principal of the school, Julia Roberts, is raising money to build a new pumpkin laboratory and a new football hole. Any student who goes to this school can consider himself very turquoise.
Dalene said...
Sarah Palin School for Russian Studies is one of America's most frigidest institutions of eloquent learning.
The student body is composed of 700 billion males and 3.625 vice presidential candidates. The vice presidential candidates make the best grades. Students can eat lunch in the experienced school cafeteria which features boiled political pundits and national debt sandwiches, with all the Pepto Bismol they can drink, for only 74 cents. The principal of the school, Henry M. Paulson, is raising money to build a new golden parachute laboratory and a new football bottomed-out 401-K. Any student who goes to this school can consider himself very effervescent.
See you next week!
(Name of school) is one of America's (adjective, superlative) institutions of (adjective) learning.
The student body is composed of (number) males and (number) (plural noun). The (same plural noun) make the best grades. Students can eat lunch in the (adjective) school cafeteria which features boiled (plural noun) and (noun) sandwiches, with all the (liquid) they can drink, for only 74 cents. The principal of the school, (a famous person), is raising money to build a new (noun) laboratory and a new football (noun). Any student who goes to this school can consider himself very (adjective).
Suzanne said...
The School of Hard Knocks is one of America's stinkiest institutions of red learning.
The student body is composed of 5 males and 2 clouds. The clouds make the best grades. Students can eat lunch in the yellow school cafeteria which features boiled mountains and grass sandwiches, with all the water they can drink, for only 74 cents. The principal of the school, John McCain, is raising money to build a new house laboratory and a new football bush. Any student who goes to this school can consider himself very blue.
Klin said...
Juliet's Beauty School is one of America's scariest institutions of ripped learning.
The student body is composed of 58 males and 129 decorations. The decorations make the best grades. Students can eat lunch in the hard school cafeteria which features boiled sea shells and candle sandwiches, with all the thick, sticky molasses they can drink, for only 74 cents. The principal of the school, Julia Roberts, is raising money to build a new pumpkin laboratory and a new football hole. Any student who goes to this school can consider himself very turquoise.
Dalene said...
Sarah Palin School for Russian Studies is one of America's most frigidest institutions of eloquent learning.
The student body is composed of 700 billion males and 3.625 vice presidential candidates. The vice presidential candidates make the best grades. Students can eat lunch in the experienced school cafeteria which features boiled political pundits and national debt sandwiches, with all the Pepto Bismol they can drink, for only 74 cents. The principal of the school, Henry M. Paulson, is raising money to build a new golden parachute laboratory and a new football bottomed-out 401-K. Any student who goes to this school can consider himself very effervescent.
See you next week!
Friday, September 26, 2008
Report By Student Protest Committee
Fellow Students of (full name of school)! We members of the Students for a/an (adjective) Society are meeting here to decide what action to take about the Dean of (plural noun). He has just fired our friend, Professor (name of person in room), because he wore his (part of the body) long, and because he dressed in (article of clothing) and wore old (plural noun). Next week we are going to protest by taking over the (noun) building and kidnapping the Assistant (noun). We also will demand that all students have the right to wear (adjective) hair and (adjective) beards. Remember our slogan: "Down with (Plural noun)!"
Thorny Tree Lady said...
Fellow Students of The Culinary Institute of America! We members of the Students for a Dreary Society are meeting here to decide what action to take about the Dean of Dirty Diapers. He has just fired our friend, Professor Sarah Palin, because she wore her nasal cavity long, and because she dressed in a bra with no elastic held together by safety pins and wore old BYU Football Fans. Next week we are going to protest by taking over the Greedy Real Estate Agent building and kidnapping the Assistant Potty-Training DVD. We also will demand that all students have the right to wear dreadful hair and abhorrent beards. Remember our slogan: "Down with unruly nose hairs!"
Natalie said...
Fellow Students of Lizzie Borden's Chop Shop Academy! We members of the Students for a Making Annoying Noises and About to be Slapped Society are meeting here to decide what action to take about the Dean of Drool Bibs. He has just fired our friend, Professor Tipsy Giggling Gert, because she wore her booger vault long, and because she dressed in fingerless hobo gloves and wore old goldfish crackers with menacing expressions. Next week we are going to protest by taking over the Hot Dog Bra building and kidnapping the Assistant Creep in the Lingerie Aisle. We also will demand that all students have the right to wear Zoboomafoo-worshipping hair and fate-tempting beards. Remember our slogan: "Down with the chickens next door!"
Klin said...
Fellow Students of Lakeview Elementary! We members of the Students for a Screaming Loud and Head Pounding Society are meeting here to decide what action to take about the Dean of Piles of Needing to be Shredded Files. He has just fired our friend, Professor Fabulous Franco, because he wore his ear wax storage cavity long, and because he dressed in Happy Bunny socks and wore old overwhelming details of the new job. Next week we are going to protest by taking over the Upset with Daddy Child building and kidnapping the Assistant Hard Working Hubby. We also will demand that all students have the right to wear shouting above the television volume hair and whining about homework beards. Remember our slogan: "Down with silly puzzle doing teens!"
Dalene said...
Fellow Students of Amy Winehouse's Finishing School for Girls! We members of the Students for a Manic Depressive Society are meeting here to decide what action to take about the Dean of Coconut Bras. He has just fired our friend, Professor Rowley, because he wore his little fleshy part between one's big and second toes long, and because he dressed in sand-washed bvds and wore old organ grinders. Next week we are going to protest by taking over the All-Day Sucker building and kidnapping the Assistant Dunce Cap. We also will demand that all students have the right to wear slightly used hair and low-budget beards. Remember our slogan: "Down with fleabites!"
Wynne said...
Fellow Students of The Sir Fartswell Academy of Macrame Weaving! We members of the Students for a Blunt Society are meeting here to decide what action to take about the Dean of Squids. He has just fired our friend, Professor Good Fairy Lucinda, because she wore her spleen long, and because she dressed in a garter and wore old Chef Boyardees. Next week we are going to protest by taking over the Emu building and kidnapping the Assistant Granite. We also will demand that all students have the right to wear swank hair and bloated beards. Remember our slogan: "Down with stump-grinding factories!"
Thorny Tree Lady said...
Fellow Students of The Culinary Institute of America! We members of the Students for a Dreary Society are meeting here to decide what action to take about the Dean of Dirty Diapers. He has just fired our friend, Professor Sarah Palin, because she wore her nasal cavity long, and because she dressed in a bra with no elastic held together by safety pins and wore old BYU Football Fans. Next week we are going to protest by taking over the Greedy Real Estate Agent building and kidnapping the Assistant Potty-Training DVD. We also will demand that all students have the right to wear dreadful hair and abhorrent beards. Remember our slogan: "Down with unruly nose hairs!"
Natalie said...
Fellow Students of Lizzie Borden's Chop Shop Academy! We members of the Students for a Making Annoying Noises and About to be Slapped Society are meeting here to decide what action to take about the Dean of Drool Bibs. He has just fired our friend, Professor Tipsy Giggling Gert, because she wore her booger vault long, and because she dressed in fingerless hobo gloves and wore old goldfish crackers with menacing expressions. Next week we are going to protest by taking over the Hot Dog Bra building and kidnapping the Assistant Creep in the Lingerie Aisle. We also will demand that all students have the right to wear Zoboomafoo-worshipping hair and fate-tempting beards. Remember our slogan: "Down with the chickens next door!"
Klin said...
Fellow Students of Lakeview Elementary! We members of the Students for a Screaming Loud and Head Pounding Society are meeting here to decide what action to take about the Dean of Piles of Needing to be Shredded Files. He has just fired our friend, Professor Fabulous Franco, because he wore his ear wax storage cavity long, and because he dressed in Happy Bunny socks and wore old overwhelming details of the new job. Next week we are going to protest by taking over the Upset with Daddy Child building and kidnapping the Assistant Hard Working Hubby. We also will demand that all students have the right to wear shouting above the television volume hair and whining about homework beards. Remember our slogan: "Down with silly puzzle doing teens!"
Dalene said...
Fellow Students of Amy Winehouse's Finishing School for Girls! We members of the Students for a Manic Depressive Society are meeting here to decide what action to take about the Dean of Coconut Bras. He has just fired our friend, Professor Rowley, because he wore his little fleshy part between one's big and second toes long, and because he dressed in sand-washed bvds and wore old organ grinders. Next week we are going to protest by taking over the All-Day Sucker building and kidnapping the Assistant Dunce Cap. We also will demand that all students have the right to wear slightly used hair and low-budget beards. Remember our slogan: "Down with fleabites!"
Wynne said...
Fellow Students of The Sir Fartswell Academy of Macrame Weaving! We members of the Students for a Blunt Society are meeting here to decide what action to take about the Dean of Squids. He has just fired our friend, Professor Good Fairy Lucinda, because she wore her spleen long, and because she dressed in a garter and wore old Chef Boyardees. Next week we are going to protest by taking over the Emu building and kidnapping the Assistant Granite. We also will demand that all students have the right to wear swank hair and bloated beards. Remember our slogan: "Down with stump-grinding factories!"
Friday, September 19, 2008
Tarzan
One of the most (adjective) characters in fiction is called "Tarzan of the (plural noun)." Tarzan was raised by a/an (noun) and lives in a/an (adjective) jungle in the heart of darkest (a place). He spends most of his time eating (plural noun) and swinging from tree to (noun). Whenever he gets angry, he beats on his chest and says, "(A funny noise)!" This is his war cry.
Tarzan always dresses in (adjective) shorts made from the skin of a/an (noun), and his best friend is a/an (adjective) chimpanzee named Cheetah. He is supposed to be able to speak to elephants and (plural noun). In the movies, Tarzan is played by (a person).
Dalene said...
One of the most perky characters in fiction is called "Tarzan of the Backyardigans." Tarzan was raised by a mousetrap and lives in a swanky jungle in the heart of darkest Freakin' Neverland. He spends most of his time eating spelunkers and swinging from tree to wet blanket. Whenever he gets angry, he beats on his chest and says, "Ribbet!" This is his war cry.
Tarzan always dresses in spunky shorts made from the skin of a snuffleupagus, and his best friend is a pert chimpanzee named Cheetah. He is supposed to be able to speak to elephants and French hens. In the movies, Tarzan is played by O.J. Simpson.
Thorny Tree Lady said...
One of the most portly characters in fiction is called "Tarzan of the Tina Fey supporters." Tarzan was raised by a not-yet-ripe banana and lives in a disengenuine jungle in the heart of darkest Betty Ford Clinic. He spends most of his time eating "out too early in the year" Christmas Decorations for sale and swinging from tree to long-awaited paycheck. Whenever he gets angry, he beats on his chest and says, "chung-chung!" This is his war cry.
Tarzan always dresses in unequivocal shorts made from the skin of a pound of marshmallow candy pumpkins, and his best friend is a ripped like Michael Phelps chimpanzee named Cheetah. He is supposed to be able to speak to elephants and ticked-off Sitemeter users. In the movies, Tarzan is played by Michael Scott.
Natalie said...
One of the most drank all the rum and now wants more characters in fiction is called "Tarzan of the diaper pails." Tarzan was raised by a cracker-crushing 4-year-old and lives in a passed out on someone's couch jungle in the heart of darkest Rentown, USA. He spends most of his time eating jukebox heroes and swinging from tree to fly wing puller-offer. Whenever he gets angry, he beats on his chest and says, "Yuh! Yuh!" This is his war cry.
Tarzan always dresses in head for business, bod for sin shorts made from the skin of a toilet wand being used as a guitar, and his best friend is a makes children cry chimpanzee named Cheetah. He is supposed to be able to speak to elephants and bald Chinese ladies with no pants on. In the movies, Tarzan is played by Pee-Wee Herman.
Sketchy said...
One of the most readily available characters in fiction is called "Tarzan of the dusty diet books." Tarzan was raised by a rusty old hammer and lives in a chill like vegetable jungle in the heart of darkest root cellar. He spends most of his time eating footprints on the ceiling and swinging from tree to Grandpa's world famous chili recipe. Whenever he gets angry, he beats on his chest and says, "Kersfuffle!" This is his war cry.
Tarzan always dresses in smack-happy shorts made from the skin of a vat of homemade rootbeer, and his best friend is a potato-face chimpanzee named Cheetah. He is supposed to be able to speak to elephants and slurpy spaghetti noodles. In the movies, Tarzan is played by Bob Dole's Aunt Maddie Sue.
CoconutKate said...
One of the most dull characters in fiction is called "Tarzan of the trees." Tarzan was raised by a pocket and lives in a sleepy jungle in the heart of darkest Just around the riverbend. He spends most of his time eating Spongebob golf balls and swinging from tree to melted crayon. Whenever he gets angry, he beats on his chest and says, "AAArrrooooouuugah!" This is his war cry.
Tarzan always dresses in gnarly shorts made from the skin of a iFish, and his best friend is a funkalicious chimpanzee named Cheetah. He is supposed to be able to speak to elephants and used but not discarded straws. In the movies, Tarzan is played by Weird Al's hair stylist.
Klin said...
One of the most extreme characters in fiction is called "Tarzan of the super cool fellow bloggers." Tarzan was raised by a long, beautiful drive and lives in a hotter than Provo UT jungle in the heart of darkest Cheesecake Factory. He spends most of his time eating wedding gifts and swinging from tree to Mesa AZ. Whenever he gets angry, he beats on his chest and says, "Perrrrrp!" This is his war cry.
Tarzan always dresses in superbly delicious shorts made from the skin of a Days Inn hotel, and his best friend is a grateful for air conditioning chimpanzee named Cheetah. He is supposed to be able to speak to elephants and miles and miles of trees. In the movies, Tarzan is played by Hannah Montana.
Tarzan always dresses in (adjective) shorts made from the skin of a/an (noun), and his best friend is a/an (adjective) chimpanzee named Cheetah. He is supposed to be able to speak to elephants and (plural noun). In the movies, Tarzan is played by (a person).
Dalene said...
One of the most perky characters in fiction is called "Tarzan of the Backyardigans." Tarzan was raised by a mousetrap and lives in a swanky jungle in the heart of darkest Freakin' Neverland. He spends most of his time eating spelunkers and swinging from tree to wet blanket. Whenever he gets angry, he beats on his chest and says, "Ribbet!" This is his war cry.
Tarzan always dresses in spunky shorts made from the skin of a snuffleupagus, and his best friend is a pert chimpanzee named Cheetah. He is supposed to be able to speak to elephants and French hens. In the movies, Tarzan is played by O.J. Simpson.
Thorny Tree Lady said...
One of the most portly characters in fiction is called "Tarzan of the Tina Fey supporters." Tarzan was raised by a not-yet-ripe banana and lives in a disengenuine jungle in the heart of darkest Betty Ford Clinic. He spends most of his time eating "out too early in the year" Christmas Decorations for sale and swinging from tree to long-awaited paycheck. Whenever he gets angry, he beats on his chest and says, "chung-chung!" This is his war cry.
Tarzan always dresses in unequivocal shorts made from the skin of a pound of marshmallow candy pumpkins, and his best friend is a ripped like Michael Phelps chimpanzee named Cheetah. He is supposed to be able to speak to elephants and ticked-off Sitemeter users. In the movies, Tarzan is played by Michael Scott.
Natalie said...
One of the most drank all the rum and now wants more characters in fiction is called "Tarzan of the diaper pails." Tarzan was raised by a cracker-crushing 4-year-old and lives in a passed out on someone's couch jungle in the heart of darkest Rentown, USA. He spends most of his time eating jukebox heroes and swinging from tree to fly wing puller-offer. Whenever he gets angry, he beats on his chest and says, "Yuh! Yuh!" This is his war cry.
Tarzan always dresses in head for business, bod for sin shorts made from the skin of a toilet wand being used as a guitar, and his best friend is a makes children cry chimpanzee named Cheetah. He is supposed to be able to speak to elephants and bald Chinese ladies with no pants on. In the movies, Tarzan is played by Pee-Wee Herman.
Sketchy said...
One of the most readily available characters in fiction is called "Tarzan of the dusty diet books." Tarzan was raised by a rusty old hammer and lives in a chill like vegetable jungle in the heart of darkest root cellar. He spends most of his time eating footprints on the ceiling and swinging from tree to Grandpa's world famous chili recipe. Whenever he gets angry, he beats on his chest and says, "Kersfuffle!" This is his war cry.
Tarzan always dresses in smack-happy shorts made from the skin of a vat of homemade rootbeer, and his best friend is a potato-face chimpanzee named Cheetah. He is supposed to be able to speak to elephants and slurpy spaghetti noodles. In the movies, Tarzan is played by Bob Dole's Aunt Maddie Sue.
CoconutKate said...
One of the most dull characters in fiction is called "Tarzan of the trees." Tarzan was raised by a pocket and lives in a sleepy jungle in the heart of darkest Just around the riverbend. He spends most of his time eating Spongebob golf balls and swinging from tree to melted crayon. Whenever he gets angry, he beats on his chest and says, "AAArrrooooouuugah!" This is his war cry.
Tarzan always dresses in gnarly shorts made from the skin of a iFish, and his best friend is a funkalicious chimpanzee named Cheetah. He is supposed to be able to speak to elephants and used but not discarded straws. In the movies, Tarzan is played by Weird Al's hair stylist.
Klin said...
One of the most extreme characters in fiction is called "Tarzan of the super cool fellow bloggers." Tarzan was raised by a long, beautiful drive and lives in a hotter than Provo UT jungle in the heart of darkest Cheesecake Factory. He spends most of his time eating wedding gifts and swinging from tree to Mesa AZ. Whenever he gets angry, he beats on his chest and says, "Perrrrrp!" This is his war cry.
Tarzan always dresses in superbly delicious shorts made from the skin of a Days Inn hotel, and his best friend is a grateful for air conditioning chimpanzee named Cheetah. He is supposed to be able to speak to elephants and miles and miles of trees. In the movies, Tarzan is played by Hannah Montana.
Friday, September 12, 2008
Political Speech #1
Ladies and gentlemen, on this (adjective) occasion it is a privilege to address such a/an (adjective)-looking group of (plural noun). I can tell from your smiling (plural noun) that you will support my (adjective) program in the coming election. I promise that, if elected, there will be a/an (noun) in every (noun) and two (plural noun) in every garage.
I want to warn you against my opponent, Mr. (name of person in room). This man is nothing but a/an (adjective) (noun). He has a/an (adjective) character and is working (noun) in glove with the criminal element. If elected, I promise to eliminate vice. I will keep the (plural noun) off the city's streets. I will keep crooks from dipping their (plural noun) in the public till. I promise you (adjective) government, (adjective) taxes, and (adjective) schools.
Heffalump said...
Ladies and gentlemen, on this red occasion it is a privilege to address such a yellow-looking group of monkeys. I can tell from your smiling carrots that you will support my blue program in the coming election. I promise that, if elected, there will be a toejam in every rubber baby buggy bumper and two waterfalls in every garage.
I want to warn you against my opponent, Mr. Harvey the Wonder Hamster. This man is nothing but a smelly twister. He has a chagrined character and is working Baby B in glove with the criminal element. If elected, I promise to eliminate vice. I will keep the flashlights off the city's streets. I will keep crooks from dipping their Pygmies in the public till. I promise you plump government, whiny taxes, and complicated schools.
Coconut Kate said...
Ladies and gentlemen, on this leafy occasion it is a privilege to address such a sparkling-looking group of coolers. I can tell from your smiling clocks that you will support my round program in the coming election. I promise that, if elected, there will be a squirrel in every paper and two leftovers in every garage.
I want to warn you against my opponent, Miss Fabulous. This woman is nothing but a translucent giraffe. She has a winding character and is working tunnel in glove with the criminal element. If elected, I promise to eliminate vice. I will keep the slinkys off the city's streets. I will keep crooks from dipping their men in the public till. I promise you flowery government, green taxes, and oversized schools.
Suzanne said...
Ladies and gentlemen, on this scorching occasion it is a privilege to address such a hot-looking group of pencils. I can tell from your smiling pens that you will support my sizzling program in the coming election. I promise that, if elected, there will be an apple in every pencil box and two books in every garage.
I want to warn you against my opponent, Mr. Santa Claus. This man is nothing but a lukewarm eraser. He has a tepid character and is working desk in glove with the criminal element. If elected, I promise to eliminate vice. I will keep the bags off the city's streets. I will keep crooks from dipping their teachers in the public till. I promise you chilly government, cold taxes, and freezing schools.
Klin said...
Ladies and gentlemen, on this sweaty occasion it is a privilege to address such a piled high-looking group of slimy toads. I can tell from your smiling cracked feet that you will support my fancy dancy program in the coming election. I promise that, if elected, there will be a dog in every baby and two sweltery days in every garage.
I want to warn you against my opponent, Mr. Tree Monkey. This man is nothing but a muddy purse. He has a floral character and is working internet in glove with the criminal element. If elected, I promise to eliminate vice. I will keep the smelly lumber piles off the city's streets. I will keep crooks from dipping their folded blankets in the public till. I promise you fast government, slimy taxes, and caked schools.
Dalene said...
Ladies and gentlemen, on this flamboyant occasion it is a privilege to address such a discomboobulated-looking group of trophy wives. I can tell from your smiling elastic waistbands that you will support my pernicious program in the coming election. I promise that, if elected, there will be a flat iron in every encyclopedia and two remote control disco lights in every garage.
I want to warn you against my opponent, Mr. Wiley Coyote. This man is nothing but a fluffy speaker phone. He has a squishy character and is working widget in glove with the criminal element. If elected, I promise to eliminate vice. I will keep the sponge baths off the city's streets. I will keep crooks from dipping their doorknob hangers in the public till. I promise you prepubescent government, flat taxes, and floopy schools.
Natalie said...
Ladies and gentlemen, on this brawling like hooligans occasion it is a privilege to address such an LDS tattoo-obsessed-looking group of naughty cockatoos. I can tell from your smiling completely inept football players that you will support my strung-out-on-stale-Twinkies program in the coming election. I promise that, if elected, there will be a guy who yells "Yowza!" in every not-quite-big-enough girdle and two oatmeal scotchies in every garage.
I want to warn you against my opponent, Mr. "Needs New Nylons" Newton. This man is nothing but a skin tag-sporting paranoid squirrel. He has a Pina Colada deodorant-enjoying character and is working Kip Dynamite impersonator in glove with the criminal element. If elected, I promise to eliminate vice. I will keep the tubes of crinkly wrapping paper off the city's streets. I will keep crooks from dipping their town drunks in the public till. I promise you doesn't-wear-suits-to-the-office government, impressed-by-nudists taxes, and spiked punch-eschewing schools.
Thorny Tree Lady said...
Ladies and gentlemen, on this reluctantly related occasion it is a privilege to address such a perpetually confused-looking group of America's Got Talent Hopefulls who got their dreams shattered on National Television. I can tell from your smiling delicious cupcakes with no calories that you will support my over-the-top program in the coming election. I promise that, if elected, there will be a Harry Henderson's Hometown Haberdashery in every Giant Twinkie Man dressed as a Cowboy and two Sci-Fi convention goers who only speak to each other in Klingon in every garage.
I want to warn you against my opponent, Mr. Dora the Explorer. This man is nothing but a bewitched Homework Packet for a 2nd Grader filled with math worksheets a Kindergartener could do. He has a bothered character and is working blank-minded Mad Libs Monday participant who can't think of anything clever today in glove with the criminal element. If elected, I promise to eliminate vice. I will keep the people who talk on their cell phones while driving off the city's streets. I will keep crooks from dipping their evil Legos that bite the bottoms of your feet as you cross the room in the middle of the night in the public till. I promise you bewildered government, fancy-schmancy taxes, and snobberish schools.
Wynne said...
Ladies and gentlemen, on this frightening occasion it is a privilege to address such a spiny-looking group of fairies. I can tell from your smiling crocodiles that you will support my delicious program in the coming election. I promise that, if elected, there will be chow mein in every toilet and two hostels in every garage.
I want to warn you against my opponent, Mr. Jasper the Cat. This man is nothing but an as-seen-on-TV Stay-Puf Marshmallow Man. He has a glittery character and is working used kleenex in glove with the criminal element. If elected, I promise to eliminate vice. I will keep the Smurfs off the city's streets. I will keep crooks from dipping their Arabic numerals in the public till. I promise you sludgilicious government, sulphurous taxes, and eardrum-shattering schools.
Rachael said...
Ladies and gentlemen, on this wet occasion it is a privilege to address such a sticky-looking group of sticks. I can tell from your smiling earwigs that you will support my pungent program in the coming election. I promise that, if elected, there will be an "I dream of Genie" autographed poster in every Tom Hanks sweater and two over obsessive Oprah lovers in every garage.
I want to warn you against my opponent, Mr. Unibrow Sal. This man is nothing but a grotesque "Missed a spot" Dot. He has a mini character and is working camera lens in glove with the criminal element. If elected, I promise to eliminate vice. I will keep the Book club fanatics off the city's streets. I will keep crooks from dipping their aimless internet surfers in the public till. I promise you flatulent government, scalloped taxes, and round, fudge-filled schools.
I want to warn you against my opponent, Mr. (name of person in room). This man is nothing but a/an (adjective) (noun). He has a/an (adjective) character and is working (noun) in glove with the criminal element. If elected, I promise to eliminate vice. I will keep the (plural noun) off the city's streets. I will keep crooks from dipping their (plural noun) in the public till. I promise you (adjective) government, (adjective) taxes, and (adjective) schools.
Heffalump said...
Ladies and gentlemen, on this red occasion it is a privilege to address such a yellow-looking group of monkeys. I can tell from your smiling carrots that you will support my blue program in the coming election. I promise that, if elected, there will be a toejam in every rubber baby buggy bumper and two waterfalls in every garage.
I want to warn you against my opponent, Mr. Harvey the Wonder Hamster. This man is nothing but a smelly twister. He has a chagrined character and is working Baby B in glove with the criminal element. If elected, I promise to eliminate vice. I will keep the flashlights off the city's streets. I will keep crooks from dipping their Pygmies in the public till. I promise you plump government, whiny taxes, and complicated schools.
Coconut Kate said...
Ladies and gentlemen, on this leafy occasion it is a privilege to address such a sparkling-looking group of coolers. I can tell from your smiling clocks that you will support my round program in the coming election. I promise that, if elected, there will be a squirrel in every paper and two leftovers in every garage.
I want to warn you against my opponent, Miss Fabulous. This woman is nothing but a translucent giraffe. She has a winding character and is working tunnel in glove with the criminal element. If elected, I promise to eliminate vice. I will keep the slinkys off the city's streets. I will keep crooks from dipping their men in the public till. I promise you flowery government, green taxes, and oversized schools.
Suzanne said...
Ladies and gentlemen, on this scorching occasion it is a privilege to address such a hot-looking group of pencils. I can tell from your smiling pens that you will support my sizzling program in the coming election. I promise that, if elected, there will be an apple in every pencil box and two books in every garage.
I want to warn you against my opponent, Mr. Santa Claus. This man is nothing but a lukewarm eraser. He has a tepid character and is working desk in glove with the criminal element. If elected, I promise to eliminate vice. I will keep the bags off the city's streets. I will keep crooks from dipping their teachers in the public till. I promise you chilly government, cold taxes, and freezing schools.
Klin said...
Ladies and gentlemen, on this sweaty occasion it is a privilege to address such a piled high-looking group of slimy toads. I can tell from your smiling cracked feet that you will support my fancy dancy program in the coming election. I promise that, if elected, there will be a dog in every baby and two sweltery days in every garage.
I want to warn you against my opponent, Mr. Tree Monkey. This man is nothing but a muddy purse. He has a floral character and is working internet in glove with the criminal element. If elected, I promise to eliminate vice. I will keep the smelly lumber piles off the city's streets. I will keep crooks from dipping their folded blankets in the public till. I promise you fast government, slimy taxes, and caked schools.
Dalene said...
Ladies and gentlemen, on this flamboyant occasion it is a privilege to address such a discomboobulated-looking group of trophy wives. I can tell from your smiling elastic waistbands that you will support my pernicious program in the coming election. I promise that, if elected, there will be a flat iron in every encyclopedia and two remote control disco lights in every garage.
I want to warn you against my opponent, Mr. Wiley Coyote. This man is nothing but a fluffy speaker phone. He has a squishy character and is working widget in glove with the criminal element. If elected, I promise to eliminate vice. I will keep the sponge baths off the city's streets. I will keep crooks from dipping their doorknob hangers in the public till. I promise you prepubescent government, flat taxes, and floopy schools.
Natalie said...
Ladies and gentlemen, on this brawling like hooligans occasion it is a privilege to address such an LDS tattoo-obsessed-looking group of naughty cockatoos. I can tell from your smiling completely inept football players that you will support my strung-out-on-stale-Twinkies program in the coming election. I promise that, if elected, there will be a guy who yells "Yowza!" in every not-quite-big-enough girdle and two oatmeal scotchies in every garage.
I want to warn you against my opponent, Mr. "Needs New Nylons" Newton. This man is nothing but a skin tag-sporting paranoid squirrel. He has a Pina Colada deodorant-enjoying character and is working Kip Dynamite impersonator in glove with the criminal element. If elected, I promise to eliminate vice. I will keep the tubes of crinkly wrapping paper off the city's streets. I will keep crooks from dipping their town drunks in the public till. I promise you doesn't-wear-suits-to-the-office government, impressed-by-nudists taxes, and spiked punch-eschewing schools.
Thorny Tree Lady said...
Ladies and gentlemen, on this reluctantly related occasion it is a privilege to address such a perpetually confused-looking group of America's Got Talent Hopefulls who got their dreams shattered on National Television. I can tell from your smiling delicious cupcakes with no calories that you will support my over-the-top program in the coming election. I promise that, if elected, there will be a Harry Henderson's Hometown Haberdashery in every Giant Twinkie Man dressed as a Cowboy and two Sci-Fi convention goers who only speak to each other in Klingon in every garage.
I want to warn you against my opponent, Mr. Dora the Explorer. This man is nothing but a bewitched Homework Packet for a 2nd Grader filled with math worksheets a Kindergartener could do. He has a bothered character and is working blank-minded Mad Libs Monday participant who can't think of anything clever today in glove with the criminal element. If elected, I promise to eliminate vice. I will keep the people who talk on their cell phones while driving off the city's streets. I will keep crooks from dipping their evil Legos that bite the bottoms of your feet as you cross the room in the middle of the night in the public till. I promise you bewildered government, fancy-schmancy taxes, and snobberish schools.
Wynne said...
Ladies and gentlemen, on this frightening occasion it is a privilege to address such a spiny-looking group of fairies. I can tell from your smiling crocodiles that you will support my delicious program in the coming election. I promise that, if elected, there will be chow mein in every toilet and two hostels in every garage.
I want to warn you against my opponent, Mr. Jasper the Cat. This man is nothing but an as-seen-on-TV Stay-Puf Marshmallow Man. He has a glittery character and is working used kleenex in glove with the criminal element. If elected, I promise to eliminate vice. I will keep the Smurfs off the city's streets. I will keep crooks from dipping their Arabic numerals in the public till. I promise you sludgilicious government, sulphurous taxes, and eardrum-shattering schools.
Rachael said...
Ladies and gentlemen, on this wet occasion it is a privilege to address such a sticky-looking group of sticks. I can tell from your smiling earwigs that you will support my pungent program in the coming election. I promise that, if elected, there will be an "I dream of Genie" autographed poster in every Tom Hanks sweater and two over obsessive Oprah lovers in every garage.
I want to warn you against my opponent, Mr. Unibrow Sal. This man is nothing but a grotesque "Missed a spot" Dot. He has a mini character and is working camera lens in glove with the criminal element. If elected, I promise to eliminate vice. I will keep the Book club fanatics off the city's streets. I will keep crooks from dipping their aimless internet surfers in the public till. I promise you flatulent government, scalloped taxes, and round, fudge-filled schools.
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