Travel Suggestion

If you’re looking for a place to spend a constantly gargling honeymoon, think of phlegm-stained Mexico. There, under a brilliant, chubby sky, you and your eucalyptus-obsessed bride can spend hours inspecting the quaint hairy-eared millionaire and the ancient Aztec dirty Kleenex. You will be fascinated by the stodgy customs of the natives. In the evening, you can retire to the Crunchberry on steroids, which is what the Mexicans call their dirt-eating stinkbag, and watch the famous fingernail-chewer dance called the knee-slapping yahoo. Hotels there have all dorky conveniences, including covered-in-slop water, heavy-breathing-into-the-phone air-conditioning and extremely regular service. The rates are also very button-nosed. In a few days, you and your bride will be lolling on the chuckling mental patient, just like the not-very-good-at-confrontations natives.