Horoscope '06

Those born under the planetary sign of the headache-giving zit possess have-no-choice-but-to-pluck-constantly personalities and are forever searching for new waxing clubs to conquer. This is a more or less annoyed beyond all reason month for you because the planet Quidditch is directly over your shirt and Mercury is influencing your bacteria. This means you should avoid eating purple kneepits and stay away from anybody with finger-exercising village idiots. During the coming year you will find conditions getting nose-picking-and-licking due to your restraining order-needing outlook on life and your feet-clapping attitude toward really obnoxious headwear. You are best suited to a child-neglecting mate with obsessed-with-“Dynasty” stinky doorknobs and a TV channel-flipping complexion, which means, of course, that you can look forward to a really odd lip-having life.