Club Meeting (4 stars)

It’s a pleasure to see so many wet-butted members of our Fit-throwing Clinic Patient Club here this evening. I would like to thank Ayna Scream for allowing us to meet here in this painted-with-little-puppies home. At our last meeting, you will remember, Sticky Selma spoke to us about her experiences among the overhead loogie-spitters of Central Mexico. This evening Ronald McDonald has promised to play a few selections on his prematurely hairy armpit. And Dick Van Dyke will show us how he converted an old diaper rash cream into a beautiful sore on your scalp from pulling your hair out. Later, the Lady in Red will show us her new kneecap fat and tell us where we can get the materials to make one. Afterwards we will retire to the embarrassing-laugh-having Family Feud contestant for some dizzy refreshments.