Army Information

The birthday of the United States Army is June 14.

If you plan on joining the army, here are some (adjective) hints that will help you become a/an (adjective) soldier. The army is made up of officers, non-coms, and (plural noun). You can recognize an officer by the (plural noun) on his shoulders and the (noun) on his cap. When you address an officer, always say "(noun)" and salute (adverb). If you get a/an (adjective) haircut, keep your (plural noun) shined, and see that your (noun) is clean at all times, you will be a credit to the slogan, "The Army Builds (plural noun)." And at roll call, when the (adjective) sergeant calls your name, shout "(Exclamation)!" loud and clear. Also, become familiar with basic weapons such as the thirty-calibre (noun) and the automatic (noun). Follow this advice and in no time you'll win the (adjective) Conduct (noun).

Millie said...
If you plan on joining the army, here are some halfway there hints that will help you become a marshmallow-goo-covered soldier. The army is made up of officers, non-coms, and sheet-shorters. You can recognize an officer by the armpit-farters on his shoulders and the hide-a-bed on his cap. When you address an officer, always say "grilled chicken breast" and salute frothingly. If you get a spoiled rotten haircut, keep your cranky old women shined, and see that your spanked and screaming child is clean at all times, you will be a credit to the slogan, "The Army Builds Twinkle Toes." And at roll call, when the dirty-toed sergeant calls your name, shout "Shut up you pinhead! You make me SICK!" loud and clear. Also, become familiar with basic weapons such as the thirty-calibre butt shrub and the automatic black licorice ice cream. Follow this advice and in no time you'll win the Keeled-Over-Dead Conduct Ancient M&M found under the loveseat.

Klin said...
If you plan on joining the army, here are some grated hints that will help you become a cooked soldier. The army is made up of officers, non-coms, and enchiladas. You can recognize an officer by the suitcases on his shoulders and the detour on his cap. When you address an officer, always say "sick and tired" and salute foolishly. If you get a salty haircut, keep your camping trips shined, and see that your weather station is clean at all times, you will be a credit to the slogan, "The Army Builds Flip-Flops." And at roll call, when the medicated sergeant calls your name, shout "STOP YOU FOOL!" loud and clear. Also, become familiar with basic weapons such as the thirty-calibre snow creature and the automatic ancient Chinese man. Follow this advice and in no time you'll win the Folded Conduct Calculator.

Heffalump said...
If you plan on joining the army, here are some gaseous hints that will help you become an interplanetary soldier. The army is made up of officers, non-coms, and rockets. You can recognize an officer by the aliens on his shoulders and the UFO on his cap. When you address an officer, always say "ray gun" and salute gravitationally. If you get a nebulous haircut, keep your abductees shined, and see that your Area 51 is clean at all times, you will be a credit to the slogan, "The Army Builds Government Conspiracies." And at roll call, when the experimental sergeant calls your name, shout "Take me to your leader!" loud and clear. Also, become familiar with basic weapons such as the thirty-calibre probe and the automatic little green man. Follow this advice and in no time you'll win the Glowing Conduct Tractor Beam.