My Dream Man

Happy Valentine's Day on Sunday

My "Dream Man" should, first of all, be very (adjective) and (adjective). He should have a physique like (name of personality), a profile like (name of personality), and the intelligence of a/an (animal).

He must be polite and always remember to light my (noun), to tip his (noun), and to take my (noun) when crossing the street.

He should move (adverb), should have a/an (adjective) voice, and should always dress (adverb). I would also like him to be a/an (adjective) dancer, and when we're alone, he should whisper (adjective) nothings in my (noun) and hold my (adjective) (noun).

I know a/an (adjective) man like this is hard to find. In fact, the only one I can think of is (name of person in room).

Millie said...
My "Dream Man" should, first of all, be very chartreuse with envy and blind in one eye. He should have a physique like Goat Boy, a profile like one of the Thompson Twins, and the intelligence of a buffalo.

He must be polite and always remember to light my errant chin whisker, to tip his Sweetheart Ball dancer, and to take my major skankwad when crossing the street.

He should move cross-examiningly, should have a fumbling voice, and should always dress suspiciously. I would also like him to be a dimwitted dancer, and when we're alone, he should whisper "thrilled with his new jello salad recipe" nothings in my angry rash and hold my Mormon Rap-loving toadstool.

I know a freaked out by monkeys man like this is hard to find. In fact, the only one I can think of is The Human Yawn.

Lt Col Samantha Carter said...
My "Dream Man" should, first of all, be very frickin' cold!!! and agitated. He should have a physique like Jay Leno, a profile like Conan O'Brien, and the intelligence of a giraffe.

He must be polite and always remember to light my bag o'glass, to tip his broken fingernail, and to take my outdated cell phone when crossing the street.

He should move gingerly, should have a french-fried voice, and should always dress forcefully. I would also like him to be an ample dancer, and when we're alone, he should whisper minimized nothings in my tainted hamburger which incited food poisoning and hold my enveloped, pouty 2 year old child.

I know a fuzzy man like this is hard to find. In fact, the only one I can think of is David Letterman.