Letter to a Friend Back Home

Dear (name of person in room),

Well, here we are at the (adjective) Seaside Hotel in (a place). The weather is (adjective) and the temperature is (number) degrees. Our hotel room looks out onto a garden filled with (a food) trees and tropical (plural noun). The natives are all (adjective) and spend their time (verb ending in ING) and riding their (plural noun) through the streets. Most of them only speak (a language), but I can communicate with them by making signs with my (part of body, plural). The local food is really (adjective). Mostly they eat (adjective) burritos and refried (a food, plural). Our hotel only costs a hundred (silly word, plural) a day. We are going to spend the week (verb ending in ING) and then come home. Wish you were here.

Millie said...
Dear Hortense,

Well, here we are at the blueberry-obsessed Seaside Hotel in Shrimpsburgh. The weather is swarming with angry bees and the temperature is 23871 degrees. Our hotel room looks out onto a garden filled with ribs trees and tropical duck butts. The natives are all donkey-flavored and spend their time snorting nasal spray and riding their fat guys in little coats through the streets. Most of them only speak Cantonese, but I can communicate with them by making signs with my nose pores. The local food is really ruffly and girly. Mostly they eat picked over and discarded burritos and refried waffle cones. Our hotel only costs a hundred ah-cha-cha-chas a day. We are going to spend the week gluing cotton balls to construction paper and then come home. Wish you were here.

Klin said...
Dear Sean Hannity,

Well, here we are at the kicking hot Seaside Hotel in the plain states. The weather is succulent and sour and the temperature is 5309 degrees. Our hotel room looks out onto a garden filled with homemade creamy cheesy potato soup trees and tropical Olympic athletes. The natives are all twisted in a cool way and spend their time ballroom dancing and riding their success stories through the streets. Most of them only speak Slovak, but I can communicate with them by making signs with my orifices of snot. The local food is really quick. Mostly they eat arduous burritos and refried homemade dinner rolls of deliciousness. Our hotel only costs a hundred blegsquesters a day. We are going to spend the week high jumping and then come home. Wish you were here.

Lt. Col. Samantha Carter said...
Dear John "I'm a total D-Bag" Mayer,

Well, here we are at the fed-up Seaside Hotel in The Olympic Village. The weather is delectable and the temperature is 815 degrees. Our hotel room looks out onto a garden filled with Bubba Gump Shrimp trees and tropical acne scars. The natives are all misunderstood and spend their time break-dancing and riding their overdue bills through the streets. Most of them only speak Pig Latin, but I can communicate with them by making signs with my nostrils. The local food is really smarmy. Mostly they eat nasty-tasting burritos and refried Frosties from Wendy's. Our hotel only costs a hundred flibbertygibbits a day. We are going to spend the week deep sea fishing and then come home. Wish you were here.