Friday, January 1, 2010

New Year's Resolutions 2010

1. I, (name of person in room), will (verb) every day at the gym for at least (number) minutes.
2. At the dinner table, I will eat only (number) servings of (noun).
3. I will watch only (adjective) television shows.
4. I will tell (name of person in room) that I think he/she is a/an (adjective) (noun).
5. I will ask my boss for a/an (number)-dollar raise.
6. I will admit that I have a/an (adjective) personality.
7. I will take my (noun) to (noun) at least once a month.
8. I will (verb) one book every (number) weeks.
9. I will try to lose at least (number) pounds.
10. I will return the (adjective) (plural noun) I borrowed from (person in room).
11. I will get on a (noun) and only spend (number) dollars a month.

Millie said...
1. I, Raunchmouth Rhonda, will sprint for the bathroom every day at the gym for at least 237 minutes.
2. At the dinner table, I will eat only 17 servings of breaded fried goldfish.
3. I will watch only zippered television shows.
4. I will tell Shirtless Sheila that I think she is a has-her-mouth-duct-taped-shut pen lid stuck in the printer.
5. I will ask my boss for a 45-dollar raise.
6. I will admit that I have an agnostic personality.
7. I will take my cod cake to a pantsed and swirlied freshman at least once a month.
8. I will goose one book every 8 weeks.
9. I will try to lose at least 1.23872 pounds.
10. I will return the living-in-a-dresser angry bees I borrowed from Incredibly Bulky Brad.
11. I will get on a kettlekorn syrup drip and only spend pi-r squared dollars a month.

Lt. Col. Samantha Carter said...
1. I, Hillary Clinton, will grow every day at the gym for at least 8,675,309 minutes.
2. At the dinner table, I will eat only 1,984 servings of celery root.
3. I will watch only verbose television shows.
4. I will tell Nancy Pelosi that I think she is a bewildered Nintendo DSi.
5. I will ask my boss for a 9-dollar raise.
6. I will admit that I have a weary personality.
7. I will take my Mint Milano Cookie to the carpet cleaner at least once a month.
8. I will snore at one book every 8 weeks.
9. I will try to lose at least 3.14159 pounds.
10. I will return the apprehensive pepperoni slices I borrowed from Sarah Palin.
11. I will get on a Fisher Price Nativity Set and only spend 815 dollars a month.

Klin said...
1. I, Squirt, will poop every day at the gym for at least 10 minutes.
2. At the dinner table, I will eat only 1 serving of The Mall.
3. I will watch only anxiously waiting television shows.
4. I will tell Coco that I think she is a shivering & shaking whiteout snowstorm.
5. I will ask my boss for a 989-dollar raise.
6. I will admit that I have a fortified with iron personality.
7. I will take my buggy baby bunting to the annoying telephone at least once a month.
8. I will kiss one book every 75 weeks.
9. I will try to lose at least 129 pounds.
10. I will return the loaded with delicious fattening vehicles off the side of the road I borrowed from Sox.
11. I will get on a 120 count crayola crayon box and only spend 29 dollars a month.

2 comments:

Acacia said...

Something tells me that Ms. Clinton already watches verbose TV shows. And I feel weary when I think about her personality, so, yeah, it's time she admit that.

Millie said...

Sam, good luck with that celery root.