Advice to Prospective Parents

Congratulations to all of you (adjective) mothers and (adjective) fathers. You are about to give birth to a/an (noun). Remember, a happy child comes from a happy (noun). Undoubtedly, the (noun) will cause many changes in your life. You'll have to get up at four a.m. to give the little (noun) its bottle of (adjective) milk. Later, when he's (number) years old, he'll learn to walk and you'll hear the patter of little (plural noun) around the house. And in no time he'll be talking (adverb) and calling you his "(noun)" and "(noun)." It's no wonder they are called little bundles of (plural noun).

Millie said...
Congratulations to all of you socially unaware mothers and fakey-voiced fathers. You are about to give birth to a rhino horn. Remember, a happy child comes from a happy skeptical eyebrow lifter. Undoubtedly, the knuckle hair will cause many changes in your life. You'll have to get up at four a.m. to give the little dried out deodorant cake its bottle of two sizes too small milk. Later, when he's 12 years old, he'll learn to walk and you'll hear the patter of little workplace restroom frequenters who feel comfortable conversing while pottying around the house. And in no time he'll be talking belchingly and calling you his "nonpareil" and "snobby Mayflower descendant." It's no wonder they are called little bundles of questionable taste in music.