Charity Drive Letter

Dear (name of person),

I'm sure you've heard of our organization, "The Society for the Prevention of (adjective) (plural nouns)." We are currently having a drive to raise (number) dollars to build an up-to-date (noun) for underprivileged (plural noun). I know that as one of the leading (plural noun) of your community, you will want to contribute to this (adjective) cause. Our president, (celebrity), and our treasurer, (celebrity), have been connected with many (adjective) charities. They urge you to reach down into your (noun) and give. Even if it's only a (noun). The money will finance our (adjective) out-patient clinic where anyone who thinks he has (liquid) in his (plural noun) can come and have our (adjective) doctors x-ray his (noun). Eventually we hope to stamp out (plural noun) altogether.

(Signed) (name of person)

Millie said...
Dear Ferdinand,

I'm sure you've heard of our organization, "The Society for the Prevention of Loudly Slurped Red-headed Stepchildren." We are currently having a drive to raise 382 dollars to build an up-to-date gutless flipflopper for underprivileged egg cups. I know that as one of the leading sweat pockets of your community, you will want to contribute to this 700 Club-avoiding cause. Our president, Phil Donahue, and our treasurer, Olivia de Havilland, have been connected with many plum blossom-carpeted charities. They urge you to reach down into your obnoxious hallway bra-snapper and give. Even if it's only a twit. The money will finance our squeaking unintelligibly out-patient clinic where anyone who thinks he has ripe melon ooze in his origami experiments can come and have our spanking fresh doctors x-ray his forgotten sack lunch. Eventually we hope to stamp out cows altogether.

(Signed) Marchetta

Heffalump said...
Dear Fred,

I'm sure you've heard of our organization, "The Society for the Prevention of Spherical Aebelskiver." We are currently having a drive to raise 17 dollars to build an up-to-date baby carrot for underprivileged fences. I know that as one of the leading helicopters of your community, you will want to contribute to this syrupy cause. Our president, Bozo the Clown, and our treasurer, Cher, have been connected with many speckled charities. They urge you to reach down into your pudding cup and give. Even if it's only a ball peen hammer. The money will finance our delicious out-patient clinic where anyone who thinks he has formaldehyde in his singing sensations can come and have our ape-like doctors x-ray his rutabaga. Eventually we hope to stamp out trapeze artists altogether.

(Signed) Wilma