Political Speech

Ladies and gentlemen, on this (adjective) occasion it is a privilege to address such a/an (adjective)-looking group of (plural noun). I can tell from your smiling (plural noun) that you will support my (adjective) program in the coming election. I promise that, if elected, there will be a/an (noun) in every (noun) and two (plural noun) in every garage.

I want to warn you against my opponent, Mr. (name of person in room). This man is nothing but a/an (adjective) (noun). He has a/an (adjective) character and is working (noun) in glove with the criminal element. If elected, I promise to eliminate vice. I will keep the (plural noun) off the city's streets. I will keep crooks from dipping their (plural noun) in the public till. I promise you (adjective) government, (adjective) taxes, and (adjective) schools.

Millie said...
Ladies and gentlemen, on this intent-on-mayhem occasion it is a privilege to address such a buff but stupid-looking group of IKEA line-cutters. I can tell from your smiling dental appointments that you will support my grandma-scented program in the coming election. I promise that, if elected, there will be a loose tooth in every cheese puff and two dipwads in every garage.

I want to warn you against my opponent, Mr. Myrthilda. This man is nothing but a fish-eye-giving, angry raccoon. He has a feather-covered character and is working errant hangnail in glove with the criminal element. If elected, I promise to eliminate vice. I will keep the Ben Stiller movies off the city's streets. I will keep crooks from dipping their kitty whiskers in the public till. I promise you cranky at everything government, reluctant taxes, and anxious schools.

Heffalump said...
Ladies and gentlemen, on this law-abiding occasion it is a privilege to address such a claim-jumping-looking group of raging hippos. I can tell from your smiling spelunkers that you will support my moldy program in the coming election. I promise that, if elected, there will be a licorice whip in every goat cheese and two stale french fries in every garage.

I want to warn you against my opponent, Mr. Spongebob. This man is nothing but a magenta Karate Master. He has a glittery character and is working jumbo prawn in glove with the criminal element. If elected, I promise to eliminate vice. I will keep the doll houses off the city's streets. I will keep crooks from dipping their tuna sandwiches in the public till. I promise you spider-webbed government, hefty taxes, and springy schools.