Police Call

Calling all cars… calling all cars! Be on the lookout for (name of man in room). He is wearing a/an (adjective) suit, a gray (noun), and carrying an old brown (noun). He was last seen in the vicinity of (a place) waving a loaded (noun). He is charged with holding up a candy store and running off with the owner’s (noun). He is also accused of stealing a 1955 (noun) and a/an (adjective) (noun). It is advisable to approach this man with (adjective) caution as he has been known to carry a loaded (a weapon). He uses the alias “Henry the (noun)" and has been known to disguise himself as a/an (noun). Watch out for this (adjective) criminal. That is all.

Klin said...
Calling all cars… calling all cars! Be on the lookout for Griselda Broomhandle. She is wearing a flowered suit, a gray non-functioning fridge, and carrying an old brown burning candle. She was last seen in the vicinity of a bed and breakfast suite waving a loaded shiny car. She is charged with holding up a candy store and running off with the owner’s spiffy tux. She is also accused of stealing a 1955 no ice-ice maker and lighted fast food. It is advisable to approach this woman with later than heck caution as she has been known to carry a loaded minute gun. She uses the alias “Henry the Fishy Smell" and has been known to disguise herself as a PB&J. Watch out for this broken criminal. That is all.

Millie said...
Calling all cars… calling all cars! Be on the lookout for Oliver Clothesoff. He is wearing a hip-swaying suit, a gray ugly pair of pants, and carrying an old brown vampire slayer. He was last seen in the vicinity of Dresden waving a loaded Gatorade bottle. He is charged with holding up a candy store and running off with the owner’s half-chewed pig ear. He is also accused of stealing a 1955 squatter and a vernix-coated harmonica player. It is advisable to approach this man with cantankerous caution as he has been known to carry a loaded abusive boyfriend. He uses the alias “Henry the Anxious Old Lady Passenger" and has been known to disguise himself as a wipeout. Watch out for this slippy criminal. That is all.

Heffalump said...
Calling all cars… calling all cars! Be on the lookout for Pedro. He is wearing a swoon-worthy suit, a gray land of milk and honey, and carrying an old brown pea pod. He was last seen in the vicinity of the Circle K waving a loaded alien abductee. He is charged with holding up a candy store and running off with the owner’s bowl of soggy cereal. He is also accused of stealing a 1955 yippy dog and a myopic old spice. It is advisable to approach this man with hygienically correct caution as he has been known to carry loaded nunchuks. He uses the alias “Henry the Pediatric Nurse" and has been known to disguise himself as a tortured artist. Watch out for this metaphoric criminal. That is all.