Relatives

This is a/an (adjective) explanation of what relatives are. If you don't know, you are probably (adjective). Parents consist of one mother and one (noun). Mothers are always saying, "Go comb your (noun)," or "Stop picking your (noun)!" Brothers and sisters are called (plural noun) and they are often a pain in the (part of the body). Grandfathers and grandmothers are your parents' (plural noun). They will buy you (a food) when mother says you can't have any. An aunt is someone who is married to your (noun). Relatives only get together on Thanksgiving or (a holiday) to eat a big (a bird). Do we really need relatives? I doubt it.

Millie said...

This is a visibly disturbed explanation of what relatives are. If you don't know, you are probably Shrinky Dink-wearing. Parents consist of one mother and one roast guinea pig on a stick. Mothers are always saying, "Go comb your voided bus ticket for behaving naughtily on a Greyhound bus," or "Stop picking your psychedelic mushroom candle!" Brothers and sisters are called two fat little boys fighting under a blanket and they are often a pain in the chin waddle. Grandfathers and grandmothers are your parents' medical history geeks. They will buy you shoo fly pie when mother says you can't have any. An aunt is someone who is married to your petard. Relatives only get together on Thanksgiving or St. Swithin's Day to eat a big yellow-bellied sap sucker. Do we really need relatives? I doubt it.

Thorny Tree Lady said...

This is an intellectually superior explanation of what relatives are. If you don't know, you are probably deceptively comfortable. Parents consist of one mother and one bottle of nail polish remover. Mothers are always saying, "Go comb your obsessed fan of Joel McHale," or "Stop picking your mind numbing hum from a computer!" Brothers and sisters are called cave dwellers and they are often a pain in the infected pus-filled ingrown toenail. Grandfathers and grandmothers are your parents' prematurely displayed Christmas decorations. They will buy you escargot when mother says you can't have any. An aunt is someone who is married to your mosquito bite. Relatives only get together on Thanksgiving or National Dark Chocolate Day (October 28th) to eat a big cockatoo. Do we really need relatives? I doubt it.

FluffyChicky said...

This is a Teen-spirit-smelly explanation of what relatives are. If you don't know, you are probably wholeheartedly vapid. Parents consist of one mother and one William Daniels’ walking stick from the movie “1776". Mothers are always saying, "Go comb your explosive diarrhea," or "Stop picking your dandruff prevention shampoo!" Brothers and sisters are called National Talk Like a Pirate Day enthusiasts and they are often a pain in the cankle. Grandfathers and grandmothers are your parents' rejected National Talk Like a Pirate Day enthusiasts because they couldn’t properly pronounce the word “Arrrgg!”. They will buy you wiener schnitzel when mother says you can't have any. An aunt is someone who is married to your Bishop Higgins. Relatives only get together on Thanksgiving or Virgen de los Angeles Day to eat a big southern royal albatross. Do we really need relatives? I doubt it.