Elizabeth the First

Elizabeth I assumed the British throne on 17 November 1558.

Elizabeth, the Tudor (noun) of England, was probably the (adjective, superlative) ruler the British ever had. Elizabeth was the daughter of Henry the Eighth and Anne Boleyn. Later, Anne had her (noun) chopped off by Henry.

Elizabeth was born in 1533 and became queen when she was 25. She was a/an (adjective) Protestant and persecuted the (adjective) Catholics (adverb). In 1588, the (nationality) Armada attacked England. But the English fleet, commanded by (celebrity) and (another celebrity), defeated them. Elizabeth ruled for 45 years, and during her reign England prospered and produced Shakespeare, Francis Bacon, and (name of person). Elizabeth never married, which is why she is sometimes called the (adjective) Queen.

Thorny Tree Lady said...
Elizabeth, the Tudor broken-down jalopy of England, was probably the most delicious ruler the British ever had. Elizabeth was the daughter of Henry the Eighth and Anne Boleyn. Later, Anne had her wet Tootsie-Pop covered in dirt and cat hair chopped off by Henry.

Elizabeth was born in 1533 and became queen when she was 25. She was a lousy Protestant and persecuted the freak-nasty Catholics pantingly. In 1588, the Scotch/Romanian Armada attacked England. But the English fleet, commanded by Joel McHale and Mario Lopez, defeated them. Elizabeth ruled for 45 years, and during her reign England prospered and produced Shakespeare, Francis Bacon, and Massive Headwound Harry. Elizabeth never married, which is why she is sometimes called the Chocolicious Queen.

Millie said...
Elizabeth, the Tudor electroshock therapy of England, was probably the frothiest ruler the British ever had. Elizabeth was the daughter of Henry the Eighth and Anne Boleyn. Later, Anne had her needlessly guilty conscience chopped off by Henry.

Elizabeth was born in 1533 and became queen when she was 25. She was a "tripped on a wire, fell into fire" Protestant and persecuted the potholder-collecting Catholics passive-aggressively. In 1588, the Swedish Armada attacked England. But the English fleet, commanded by Brett Somers and Charles Nelson Reilly, defeated them. Elizabeth ruled for 45 years, and during her reign England prospered and produced Shakespeare, Francis Bacon, and Herman the Homeopathic Hog-Caller. Elizabeth never married, which is why she is sometimes called the Twitches-on-Command Queen.

Stacey said...
Elizabeth, the Tudor bi-polar nun of England, was probably the tastiest ruler the British ever had. Elizabeth was the daughter of Henry the Eighth and Anne Boleyn. Later, Anne had her laxative-filled brownie chopped off by Henry.

Elizabeth was born in 1533 and became queen when she was 25. She was a perverted Protestant and persecuted the tantrum-throwing Catholics skillfully. In 1588, the Yugoslavian Armada attacked England. But the English fleet, commanded by Rob Pattinson and Taylor Lautner, defeated them. Elizabeth ruled for 45 years, and during her reign England prospered and produced Shakespeare, Francis Bacon, and Sassy Stacey. Elizabeth never married, which is why she is sometimes called the Ice-cold Queen.

Heffalump said...
Elizabeth, the Tudor whoopee cushion of England, was probably the most excellent ruler the British ever had. Elizabeth was the daughter of Henry the Eighth and Anne Boleyn. Later, Anne had her Home Shopping Network salesman chopped off by Henry.

Elizabeth was born in 1533 and became queen when she was 25. She was a tardy Protestant and persecuted the butterscotch flavored Catholics dramatically. In 1588, the Luxembourger Armada attacked England. But the English fleet, commanded by Dolly Parton and Kenny Rogers, defeated them. Elizabeth ruled for 45 years, and during her reign England prospered and produced Shakespeare, Francis Bacon, and Waldo. Elizabeth never married, which is why she is sometimes called the Peach Fuzz Covered Queen.

Dave said...
Elizabeth, the Tudor garden tiller of England, was probably the amazing-est ruler the British ever had. Elizabeth was the daughter of Henry the Eighth and Anne Boleyn. Later, Anne had her ham bone chopped off by Henry.

Elizabeth was born in 1533 and became queen when she was 25. She was a friendly Protestant and persecuted the mercurial Catholics dislikingly. In 1588, the Guilderian Armada attacked England. But the English fleet, commanded by Dennis Rodman and Pat Sajak, defeated them. Elizabeth ruled for 45 years, and during her reign England prospered and produced Shakespeare, Francis Bacon, and Rhonda. Elizabeth never married, which is why she is sometimes called the Dumpy Queen.