A Fan Letter

Leonardo DiCaprio's birthday is November 11, and what finer gift can we offer him than a Mad Lib in his honor? You're welcome, Leonardo.

Dear Leonardo,

A group of my (plural noun) and I were sitting around talking about movie (plural noun) and your name came up. My friend Jenny, who really drives me up a (noun), dared me to ask you for an autographed (noun). I suppose you get zillions of (adjective) requests like this, but if I don't hear from you, I'll be the laughing (noun) of the school and Jenny will thumb her (part of body) at me for sure. If you do write, and hopefully you will, please, please write something personal on your (noun). I promise you, cross my (part of body) and hope to (verb), I'll hang it in my bedroom. That way your (noun) will be the last thing I see before I go to sleep and the first thing I see when I open my (plural noun) in the morning.

Your ever faithful (noun),
(Name of girl in room)

Millie said...
Dear Leonardo,

A group of my overpaid security employees who never catch anyone shoplifting and I were sitting around talking about movie Tipperary bonbons and your name came up. My friend Jenny, who really drives me up a pair of shorts, dared me to ask you for an autographed Rice Krispie. I suppose you get zillions of raunchy and festering requests like this, but if I don't hear from you, I'll be the laughing resentful understudy of the school and Jenny will thumb her tear duct at me for sure. If you do write, and hopefully you will, please, please write something personal on your blue whale. I promise you, cross my kneecap hair and hope to dribble, I'll hang it in my bedroom. That way your Normal Norman will be the last thing I see before I go to sleep and the first thing I see when I open my naughty cockatoos in the morning.

Your ever faithful tub,
Shirley Shivwits

Thorny Tree Lady said...
Dear Leonardo,

A group of my mushy over-ripe bananas and I were sitting around talking about movie whining toddlers coming down from a post-Halloween sugar high and your name came up. My friend Jenny, who really drives me up an apple spice candle, dared me to ask you for an autographed yellow ribbon tied to an old oak tree. I suppose you get zillions of all-encompassing requests like this, but if I don't hear from you, I'll be the laughing multiplication tables cheat sheet of the school and Jenny will thumb her uvula at me for sure. If you do write, and hopefully you will, please, please write something personal on your bottle of Clorox. I promise you, cross my funny bone and hope to freak-out, I'll hang it in my bedroom. That way your warm & sunny spot in the window will be the last thing I see before I go to sleep and the first thing I see when I open my chin whiskers in the morning.

Your ever faithful pomegranate,
Octomom

Dave said...
Dear Leonardo,

A group of my chipmunks and I were sitting around talking about movie thumbnails and your name came up. My friend Jenny, who really drives me up an apple core, dared me to ask you for an autographed stock photo of a dog eating blueberries. I suppose you get zillions of odiferous requests like this, but if I don't hear from you, I'll be the laughing time machine of the school and Jenny will thumb her armpit at me for sure. If you do write, and hopefully you will, please, please write something personal on your black belt. I promise you, cross my unibrow and hope to disengage, I'll hang it in my bedroom. That way your raccoon will be the last thing I see before I go to sleep and the first thing I see when I open my pretentious Marxists in the morning.

Your ever faithful index out of range error,
Aunt Florence

Mel Smell said...
Dear Leonardo,

A group of my odd English muffin toppings and I were sitting around talking about movie infected ear squirts and your name came up. My friend Jenny, who really drives me up a creep in the stadium bathroom, dared me to ask you for an autographed rhino leaving. I suppose you get zillions of embarrassment enjoying requests like this, but if I don't hear from you, I'll be the laughing peek-a-boo hospital gown of the school and Jenny will thumb her knuckle flab at me for sure. If you do write, and hopefully you will, please, please write something personal on your corner-of-the-lip creature. I promise you, cross my sideburn and hope to point and mock, I'll hang it in my bedroom. That way your kitty breast implant will be the last thing I see before I go to sleep and the first thing I see when I open my fat-man suspenders in the morning.

Your ever faithful drooling street sleeper,
Dip-wad Daisy

Klin said...
Dear Leonardo,

A group of my crochet hooks and I were sitting around talking about movie slobber slimy tennis balls and your name came up. My friend Jenny, who really drives me up a creamy potato soup, dared me to ask you for an autographed chunky beef chili. I suppose you get zillions of obnoxious requests like this, but if I don't hear from you, I'll be the laughing blue and green leg warmer of the school and Jenny will thumb her snot production tubes at me for sure. If you do write, and hopefully you will, please, please write something personal on your incredibly long pink scarf. I promise you, cross my flatulence airing pipes and hope to snicker, I'll hang it in my bedroom. That way your scary and freaky stalker will be the last thing I see before I go to sleep and the first thing I see when I open my two crock pots of soup in the morning.

Your ever faithful other ringing phone,
Miss Lippy

FluffyChicky said...
Dear Leonardo,

A group of my scantily clad nuns and I were sitting around talking about movie hyperactive kids who have had just a little too much Halloween candy and your name came up. My friend Jenny, who really drives me up Eric Idle, dared me to ask you for an autographed Uncle Orville’s glass eye. I suppose you get zillions of beefy requests like this, but if I don't hear from you, I'll be the laughing calendar from 1957 featuring Groucho Marx in “questionable” clothing of the school and Jenny will thumb her upper arm flab at me for sure. If you do write, and hopefully you will, please, please write something personal on your skunk. I promise you, cross my toes covered in unnaturally large corns and hope to fart, I'll hang it in my bedroom. That way your hydraulic crane in need of lubrication will be the last thing I see before I go to sleep and the first thing I see when I open my super-secret band of specially trained attack ninja squirrels in the morning.

Your ever faithful Bleeding Gums Murphy,
Melba Peachbottom