Meet Your Dream Person

If you are desirous of making new (plural noun) or meeting some (adjective) people, take a few (plural noun) out of your (adjective) day and answer the following questionnaire. In less time than it takes to blink a/an (part of body), your life will be changed (adverb) by your (adjective) answers.

* Do you ever confide in a/an (adjective) friend that you are a lonely (noun)?
* Are you too shy and (adjective) to approach a stranger and say (weird sound)?
* Would you rather stay at home and (verb) television than go out on a blind (noun)?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, you have taken one giant (noun) toward meeting the person of your (plural noun). To make this a reality, mail the enclosed self-addressed, postage-paid (noun) to us immediately.

Millie said...
If you are desirous of making new Actifed hallucinations or meeting some manicure-needing people, take a few people who dress their dogs in matching outfits out of your crap-covered day and answer the following questionnaire. In less time than it takes to blink a wenis, your life will be changed fraudulently by your hypnotized to cluck like a chicken answers.

* Do you ever confide in an overgrown friend that you are a lonely pig snout?
* Are you too shy and shocking to approach a stranger and say "perrrrrrrrp"?
* Would you rather stay at home and butt-clap television than go out on a blind Batmobile?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, you have taken one giant angry earwig toward meeting the person of your curmudgeons. To make this a reality, mail the enclosed self-addressed, postage-paid corrective lens to us immediately.

Thorny Tree Lady said...
If you are desirous of making new Ming Vase forgeries or meeting some agonizingly beautiful people, take a few Ashton Kutcher's Twitter followers out of your stoned-outta-my-mind day and answer the following questionnaire. In less time than it takes to blink an epiglottis, your life will be changed unwittingly by your sickeningly sweet answers.

* Do you ever confide in a gravel-voiced friend that you are a lonely rusty nail?
* Are you too shy and cautiously optimistic to approach a stranger and say "blooOOOPP!"?
* Would you rather stay at home and dine-n-dash television than go out on a blind Squilliam Fancypants?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, you have taken one giant broken lightbulb toward meeting the person of your geriatric gymnasts. To make this a reality, mail the enclosed self-addressed, postage-paid Keith Urban's New CD to us immediately.