Newspaper Ads #1

FOR SALE: 1957 Sedan. This (adjective) car is in a/an (adjective) condition. It was formerly owned by a/an (adjective) school teacher who always drove it (adverb). There is a/an (adjective) (noun) in the back seat and a chrome (noun) on the hood. It has a/an (adjective) paint job, (adjective) tires, and the back opens out into a/an (adjective) (noun). Will consider taking slightly used (noun) in trade.

LOST: In the vicinity of (geographical location), a/an (adjective) French poodle with (adjective) hair and a/an (adjective) tail. It answers to the name of (name of person in room) and when last seen was carrying a/an (noun) in its mouth. A/An (adjective) reward is offered.

Millie said...
FOR SALE: 1957 Sedan. This gum-cracking and reeks of perfume car is in a mossy condition. It was formerly owned by an eyeball-resembling school teacher who always drove it log-gnawingly. There is a cerulean hyper hypo in the back seat and a chrome buttercup on the hood. It has a forgotten in the backyard paint job, booger-flavored tires, and the back opens out into a twitterpated Windex sprayer. Will consider taking slightly used bustier in trade.

LOST: In the vicinity of Fishguts, Florida, a squidgy French poodle with Edward-obsessed hair and a hypochondriac tail. It answers to the name of Liplock Lucinda and when last seen was carrying the Soup Man in its mouth. A shoves-toes-in-mouth reward is offered.

Mr. J said... (welcome, by the way!)
FOR SALE: 1957 Sedan. This salty car is in a sour condition. It was formerly owned by an immense school teacher who always drove it creepily. There are many anklebiters in the back seat and a chrome rugrat on the hood. It has a piquant paint job, microscopic tires, and the back opens out into a smooth munchkin. Will consider taking slightly used potato farmer in trade.

LOST: In the vicinity of Pigs' Knuckle, Arkansas, a furry French poodle with sweltering hair and a forlorn tail. It answers to the name of Annie Oakley and when last seen was carrying a griot in its mouth. A frigid reward is offered.

Thorny Tree Lady said...
FOR SALE: 1957 Sedan. This uncanny car is in a chocolate covered condition. It was formerly owned by a fanciful school teacher who always drove it childishly. There is a dead ringer in dire need of aspirin in the back seat and a chrome chocolate chip cookie on the hood. It has an exhausted paint job, hideous tires, and the back opens out into an exuberant, narcissistic Oscar winner. Will consider taking slightly used tax-return check in trade.

LOST: In the vicinity of Studio 8H in Rockafeller Center, a cockamamie French poodle with funny as a kick in the crotch hair and an intrusive tail. It answers to the name of Millie, the Flip-Flopping Blogger, and when last seen was carrying a headache that's lasted three weeks in its mouth. A death defying reward is offered.