(That's the name of the Mad Lib we did - lest there be any confusion.)
Here's how you do the Monstrosity. First, stand with your feet together. Now move your left foot (adverb) to the side. Now stamp your right foot (number) times and put your hands on your partner's (plural noun). Next, you both (verb) slowly to the right and bend your (part of the body) backward. Now for the next eight counts, both of you (verb) (adverb) to the left. Next, you and your partner stand back to back and wiggle your (plural noun) and slap your (plural noun) together. Don't forget to keep stamping your right foot. Now face your partner again, put your (plural noun) together and shout, "(nonsense word)!" Now (verb) backward and repeat the whole thing (number) times. If you feel that you can't learn this dance, you can always (verb) the next one out.
Rachael said...
Here's how you do the Monstrosity. First, stand with your feet together. Now move your left foot hysterically to the side. Now stamp your right foot four times and put your hands on your partner's telemarketers that aren’t “really” telemarketers. Next, you both run slowly to the right and bend your mole hair backward. Now for the next eight counts, both of you squat mysteriously to the left. Next, you and your partner stand back to back and wiggle your food from the movie theater floor and slap your pieces of chewed up gum together. Don't forget to keep stamping your right foot. Now face your partner again, put your baby vomit crusties together and shout, "Piddlypoo!" Now lounge backward and repeat the whole thing twenty times. If you feel that you can't learn this dance, you can always cry the next one out.
Thorny Tree Lady said...
Here's how you do the Monstrosity. First, stand with your feet together. Now move your left foot secretly to the side. Now stamp your right foot 815 times and put your hands on your partner's baby monkeys. Next, you both hunt slowly to the right and bend your uvula backward. Now for the next eight counts, both of you snore unwillingly to the left. Next, you and your partner stand back to back and wiggle your empty KitKat wrappers and slap your dillusional Hillary Clinton supporters together. Don't forget to keep stamping your right foot. Now face your partner again, put your imitation Indiana Jones whips together and shout, "Stinker-rinker!" Now giggle backward and repeat the whole thing 8,675,309 times. If you feel that you can't learn this dance, you can always give-up the next one out.
Klin said...
Here's how you do the Monstrosity. First, stand with your feet together. Now move your left foot secretly to the side. Now stamp your right foot 315,928 times and put your hands on your partner's baskets of towels to fold. Next, you both run out of time slowly to the right and bend your splitting cuticles backward. Now for the next eight counts, both of you act so very excited wildly to the left. Next, you and your partner stand back to back and wiggle your tons of garbage to dump and slap your walls to paint together. Don't forget to keep stamping your right foot. Now face your partner again, put your houses to sell together and shout, "Ba-dump-ump!" Now get wet in the rain backward and repeat the whole thing seven times. If you feel that you can't learn this dance, you can always fold the next one out.
Elasticwaistband Lady said...
Here's how you do the Monstrosity. First, stand with your feet together. Now move your left foot lustily to the side. Now stamp your right foot 8675309 times and put your hands on your partner's half-eaten vienna sausage sandwiches. Next, you both ankle-bite slowly to the right and bend your Angie's phalanges backward. Now for the next eight counts, both of you leg-spread dorkily to the left. Next, you and your partner stand back to back and wiggle your wonder woman underoos and slap your pillows stuffed full of dryer lint together. Don't forget to keep stamping your right foot. Now face your partner again, put your short hairs together and shout, "Shimmyshimmycocopops!" Now potion-drink backward and repeat the whole thing 25 or 6 to 4 times. If you feel that you can't learn this dance, you can always Exorcist head-spin the next one out.
Suzanne said...
Here's how you do the Monstrosity. First, stand with your feet together. Now move your left foot sneakily to the side. Now stamp your right foot 815 times and put your hands on your partner's boogers. Next, you both skip slowly to the right and bend your nasal passages backward. Now for the next eight counts, both of you jump sparsely to the left. Next, you and your partner stand back to back and wiggle your skateboards and slap your whistles together. Don't forget to keep stamping your right foot. Now face your partner again, put your cameras together and shout, "Gobbley goop!" Now leap backward and repeat the whole thing 8675309 times. If you feel that you can't learn this dance, you can always roll the next one out.
Sharon said...
Here's how you do the Monstrosity. First, stand with your feet together. Now move your left foot crookedly to the side. Now stamp your right foot twelve and a half times and put your hands on your partner's insurance papers. Next, you both frolic slowly to the right and bend your retina backward. Now for the next eight counts, both of you paint anxiously to the left. Next, you and your partner stand back to back and wiggle your shelves and slap your water bottles together. Don't forget to keep stamping your right foot. Now face your partner again, put your short hairs together and shout, "Fiddle-faddle!" Now dig backward and repeat the whole thing 80 times. If you feel that you can't learn this dance, you can always pay the next one out.
Sunday, May 25, 2008
Sunday, May 18, 2008
Bird Watching #1
Bird watching can be more fun than a barrel of (plural noun). Our (adjective) feathered friends are everywhere, waiting to be watched. An interesting bird to start with is the (adjective) oriole, which builds its nest in (noun) trees. Early in spring we hear the oriole give its mating call, which sounds like this: "(funny noise)." Then the male and female get together and (verb). Later, the female lays (number) eggs. Isn't that (adjective)? Another fascinating bird is the (adjective)-breasted nuthatch. The nuthatch is very tame. He will fly down and land right on your (noun), and eat out of your (plural noun). Other birds to watch out for are the red-crested (noun), the (adjective)-necked thrush, and the yellow-bellied (adjective) sucker. Now that you know something about birds - get out there and watch!
Heffalump said...
Bird watching can be more fun than a barrel of aardvarks. Our stomach-churning feathered friends are everywhere, waiting to be watched. An interesting bird to start with is the muddy oriole, which builds its nest in flea circus trees. Early in spring we hear the oriole give its mating call, which sounds like this: "Aaaaooooggggaaaa!" Then the male and female get together and decompose. Later, the female lays 77 eggs. Isn't that agorophobic? Another fascinating bird is the slimy-breasted nuthatch. The nuthatch is very tame. He will fly down and land right on your vending machine, and eat out of your libraries. Other birds to watch out for are the red-crested post office, the glowing-necked thrush, and the yellow-bellied bizarre sucker. Now that you know something about birds - get out there and watch!
Glittersmama said...
Bird watching can be more fun than a barrel of buckets. Our cheap feathered friends are everywhere, waiting to be watched. An interesting bird to start with is the fast oriole, which builds its nest in passport trees. Early in spring we hear the oriole give its mating call, which sounds like this: "phlbbbbt." Then the male and female get together and sleep. Later, the female lays 4 eggs. Isn't that smelly? Another fascinating bird is the chocolatey-breasted nuthatch. The nuthatch is very tame. He will fly down and land right on your paper, and eat out of your telephones. Other birds to watch out for are the red-crested stapler, the carbonated-necked thrush, and the yellow-bellied wet sucker. Now that you know something about birds - get out there and watch!
Hugh Jybahl said...
Bird watching can be more fun than a barrel of prickly prickly hedgehogs. Our honeybucket-frequenting feathered friends are everywhere, waiting to be watched. An interesting bird to start with is the obsessed-with-ramen oriole, which builds its nest in cheese nugget trees. Early in spring we hear the oriole give its mating call, which sounds like this: "RAWWWWRRERIWEIRIEIWEIRIE." Then the male and female get together and snarf down taquitos. Later, the female lays 235487923847 eggs. Isn't that grease-oozing? Another fascinating bird is the horsefaced-breasted nuthatch. The nuthatch is very tame. He will fly down and land right on your recently-found armpit hair, and eat out of your crampy tongue muscles. Other birds to watch out for are the red-crested forgotten Kleenex wad on the floor, the smells-like-duck-smut-necked thrush, and the yellow-bellied sees-Virgin-Mary-everywhere sucker. Now that you know something about birds - get out there and watch!
Thornytreelady said...
Bird watching can be more fun than a barrel of buttons. Our heavy feathered friends are everywhere, waiting to be watched. An interesting bird to start with is the hearty oriole, which builds its nest in Hannah Montana trees. Early in spring we hear the oriole give its mating call, which sounds like this: "eeehhhhhaaaaaaah." Then the male and female get together and drive. Later, the female lays 5 eggs. Isn't that hungry? Another fascinating bird is the hedonistic-breasted nuthatch. The nuthatch is very tame. He will fly down and land right on your as-yet-to-be-assembled baby quilt, and eat out of your T-bone steaks. Other birds to watch out for are the red-crested frogurt, the hairy-necked thrush, and the yellow-bellied hog-wild sucker. Now that you know something about birds - get out there and watch!
Sniffery Pitbeard said...
Bird watching can be more fun than a barrel of people who dress like their dogs. Our ear zit headache-having feathered friends are everywhere, waiting to be watched. An interesting bird to start with is the angry and mobbing oriole, which builds its nest in crusty Maalox mustache trees. Early in spring we hear the oriole give its mating call, which sounds like this: "rrrrrrrrrip." Then the male and female get together and sag to the knees. Later, the female lays 28 eggs. Isn't that evil chuckling? Another fascinating bird is the stretch mark loofahing-breasted nuthatch. The nuthatch is very tame. He will fly down and land right on your eyelid skin tag, and eat out of your wedgied pantaloons. Other birds to watch out for are the red-crested cow udder massage, the amorous and obnoxious-necked thrush, and the yellow-bellied always ashamed sucker. Now that you know something about birds - get out there and watch!
Coconut Kate said...
Bird watching can be more fun than a barrel of rings. Our silly feathered friends are everywhere, waiting to be watched. An interesting bird to start with is the funky oriole, which builds its nest in guest trees. Early in spring we hear the oriole give its mating call, which sounds like this: " fffffftoooo-hoo." Then the male and female get together and roll. Later, the female lays 11 eggs. Isn't that long? Another fascinating bird is the totally awesome-breasted nuthatch. The nuthatch is very tame. He will fly down and land right on your moose, and eat out of your go-carts. Other birds to watch out for are the red-crested ifish, the gnarly-necked thrush, and the yellow-bellied bodacious sucker. Now that you know something about birds - get out there and watch!
Heffalump said...
Bird watching can be more fun than a barrel of aardvarks. Our stomach-churning feathered friends are everywhere, waiting to be watched. An interesting bird to start with is the muddy oriole, which builds its nest in flea circus trees. Early in spring we hear the oriole give its mating call, which sounds like this: "Aaaaooooggggaaaa!" Then the male and female get together and decompose. Later, the female lays 77 eggs. Isn't that agorophobic? Another fascinating bird is the slimy-breasted nuthatch. The nuthatch is very tame. He will fly down and land right on your vending machine, and eat out of your libraries. Other birds to watch out for are the red-crested post office, the glowing-necked thrush, and the yellow-bellied bizarre sucker. Now that you know something about birds - get out there and watch!
Glittersmama said...
Bird watching can be more fun than a barrel of buckets. Our cheap feathered friends are everywhere, waiting to be watched. An interesting bird to start with is the fast oriole, which builds its nest in passport trees. Early in spring we hear the oriole give its mating call, which sounds like this: "phlbbbbt." Then the male and female get together and sleep. Later, the female lays 4 eggs. Isn't that smelly? Another fascinating bird is the chocolatey-breasted nuthatch. The nuthatch is very tame. He will fly down and land right on your paper, and eat out of your telephones. Other birds to watch out for are the red-crested stapler, the carbonated-necked thrush, and the yellow-bellied wet sucker. Now that you know something about birds - get out there and watch!
Hugh Jybahl said...
Bird watching can be more fun than a barrel of prickly prickly hedgehogs. Our honeybucket-frequenting feathered friends are everywhere, waiting to be watched. An interesting bird to start with is the obsessed-with-ramen oriole, which builds its nest in cheese nugget trees. Early in spring we hear the oriole give its mating call, which sounds like this: "RAWWWWRRERIWEIRIEIWEIRIE." Then the male and female get together and snarf down taquitos. Later, the female lays 235487923847 eggs. Isn't that grease-oozing? Another fascinating bird is the horsefaced-breasted nuthatch. The nuthatch is very tame. He will fly down and land right on your recently-found armpit hair, and eat out of your crampy tongue muscles. Other birds to watch out for are the red-crested forgotten Kleenex wad on the floor, the smells-like-duck-smut-necked thrush, and the yellow-bellied sees-Virgin-Mary-everywhere sucker. Now that you know something about birds - get out there and watch!
Thornytreelady said...
Bird watching can be more fun than a barrel of buttons. Our heavy feathered friends are everywhere, waiting to be watched. An interesting bird to start with is the hearty oriole, which builds its nest in Hannah Montana trees. Early in spring we hear the oriole give its mating call, which sounds like this: "eeehhhhhaaaaaaah." Then the male and female get together and drive. Later, the female lays 5 eggs. Isn't that hungry? Another fascinating bird is the hedonistic-breasted nuthatch. The nuthatch is very tame. He will fly down and land right on your as-yet-to-be-assembled baby quilt, and eat out of your T-bone steaks. Other birds to watch out for are the red-crested frogurt, the hairy-necked thrush, and the yellow-bellied hog-wild sucker. Now that you know something about birds - get out there and watch!
Sniffery Pitbeard said...
Bird watching can be more fun than a barrel of people who dress like their dogs. Our ear zit headache-having feathered friends are everywhere, waiting to be watched. An interesting bird to start with is the angry and mobbing oriole, which builds its nest in crusty Maalox mustache trees. Early in spring we hear the oriole give its mating call, which sounds like this: "rrrrrrrrrip." Then the male and female get together and sag to the knees. Later, the female lays 28 eggs. Isn't that evil chuckling? Another fascinating bird is the stretch mark loofahing-breasted nuthatch. The nuthatch is very tame. He will fly down and land right on your eyelid skin tag, and eat out of your wedgied pantaloons. Other birds to watch out for are the red-crested cow udder massage, the amorous and obnoxious-necked thrush, and the yellow-bellied always ashamed sucker. Now that you know something about birds - get out there and watch!
Coconut Kate said...
Bird watching can be more fun than a barrel of rings. Our silly feathered friends are everywhere, waiting to be watched. An interesting bird to start with is the funky oriole, which builds its nest in guest trees. Early in spring we hear the oriole give its mating call, which sounds like this: " fffffftoooo-hoo." Then the male and female get together and roll. Later, the female lays 11 eggs. Isn't that long? Another fascinating bird is the totally awesome-breasted nuthatch. The nuthatch is very tame. He will fly down and land right on your moose, and eat out of your go-carts. Other birds to watch out for are the red-crested ifish, the gnarly-necked thrush, and the yellow-bellied bodacious sucker. Now that you know something about birds - get out there and watch!
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
How's Your Sunday Going?
Dear Millie,
I want to express to you what an absolutely ___________ (adjective) Sunday I am having. The ________ (noun) is shining, the ______________ (animal, plural) are ____________ (verb ending in ING) and the smell of ________________ (plural noun) is in the air.
At church today I learned about _____________ (spiritual topic) and was inspired by a quote from ____________ (deceased person) who said, "It's not the _____________ (noun) in your ___________ (container) - it's the ______________ (plural noun) in your _______________ (kind of fruit). I think the wisdom of this __________ (adjective) advice is obvious and I feel more ___________ (adjective) than ever to incorporate it into my ______________ (adjective) life.
For dinner, I'm making ____________ (animal) chops and fried _______________ (vegetable), with a lovely chocolate _______________ (silly word) for dessert. The ________________ (someone you see at church) is coming by later to share a thought from _________________ (a book title) and I am interested to hear his/her insights.
Millie, I hope your Sunday is filled with ____________ (plural noun), ___________ (plural noun) and ____________ (adjective) goodness.
Your friend,
(Your favorite alias, nonsense name, or celebrity)
Suzanne said...
Dear Millie,
I want to express to you what an absolutely odd Sunday I am having. The clock is shining, the kittens are swimming and the smell of dresses is in the air.
At church today I learned about plural marriage and was inspired by a quote from Abraham Lincoln who said, "It's not the Washington, D.C. in your mug - it's the stockings in your strawberry." I think the wisdom of this sticky advice is obvious and I feel more red than ever to incorporate it into my sensitive life.
For dinner, I'm making wildebeest chops and fried tomatoes, with a lovely chocolate wahoo for dessert. The ward librarian is coming by later to share a thought from War & Peace and I am interested to hear her insights.
Millie, I hope your Sunday is filled with hands, couches, and silly goodness.
Your friend,
Tom Cruise
Glittersmama said...
Dear Millie,
I want to express to you what an absolutely sassy Sunday I am having. The footstool is shining, the foxes are dancing and the smell of wagons is in the air.
At church today I learned about faith and was inspired by a quote from Chris Farley who said, "It's not the skateboard in your dumpster - it's the ladders in your watermelon." I think the wisdom of this squishy advice is obvious and I feel more stinky than ever to incorporate it into my soft life.
For dinner, I'm making elephant chops and fried carrots, with a lovely chocolate ooga booga for dessert. The nun is coming by later to share a thought from Into the Wild and I am interested to hear her insights.
Millie, I hope your Sunday is filled with rugs, toothbrushes, and morose goodness.
Your friend,
Jane Doe
ThornyTreeLady said...
Dear Millie,
I want to express to you what an absolutely gangrenous Sunday I am having. The wheel-less pinewood derby car is shining, the undomesticated equines are nose-picking and the smell of upset Catholic geneologists is in the air.
At church today I learned about baptism and was inspired by a quote from Shel Silverstein who said, "It's not the pathetically over-hyped Apple iMac in your jelly jar - it's the ComicCon attendees in your banana." I think the wisdom of this uneducated advice is obvious and I feel more underused than ever to incorporate it into my unrehearsed life.
For dinner, I'm making liger chops and fried rutabaga, with a lovely chocolate shakka-lakka for dessert. The ward librarian is coming by later to share a thought from Where The Sidewalk Ends and I am interested to hear her insights.
Millie, I hope your Sunday is filled with Rice Krispy Treats, dirty dishes, and stunning goodness.
Your friend,
Hannah Montana
Klin said...
Dear Millie,
I want to express to you what an absolutely gnarly Sunday I am having. The tree branch is shining, the cats are fasting and the smell of DVDs is in the air.
At church today I learned about faith and was inspired by a quote from Elvis who said, "It's not the fireplace in your laundry basket - it's the bookshelves in your mango." I think the wisdom of this ridiculous advice is obvious and I feel more grey than ever to incorporate it into my bumpy life.
For dinner, I'm making Snuffleupagus chops and fried parsnips, with a lovely chocolate supercalafragilisticexpialadocious for dessert. Aunt Judy is coming by later to share a thought from Twilight and I am interested to hear her insights.
Millie, I hope your Sunday is filled with speakers, weeds, and massive goodness.
Your friend,
Jacob Black
Tori said...
Dear Millie,
I want to express to you what an absolutely pokey Sunday I am having. The number is shining, the lemurs are cussing and the smell of shells is in the air.
At church today I learned about belief and was inspired by a quote from Frank Sinatra who said, "It's not the bone in your shot glass - it's the wires in your tomato." I think the wisdom of this hairless advice is obvious and I feel more smooth than ever to incorporate it into my gritty life.
For dinner, I'm making lizard chops and fried carrots, with a lovely chocolate moot for dessert. A choir singer is coming by later to share a thought from Growing Up Brady and I am interested to hear her insights.
Millie, I hope your Sunday is filled with carpet fibers, giraffe neck, and crispy goodness.
Your friend,
John Doe
Harry Para Leggs said...
Dear Millie,
I want to express to you what an absolutely shorts-worshipping Sunday I am having. The crabby old man is shining, the ligers are salivating and the smell of mindless nimrods is in the air.
At church today I learned about how many times you can pierce yourself and where and was inspired by a quote from my Aunt Shirley who said, "It's not the RuPaul impersonator in your toilet tank - it's the Bourne movies in your pomegranate." I think the wisdom of this covert armpit sniffing advice is obvious and I feel more toe-disfiguring than ever to incorporate it into my compulsive liar-believing life.
For dinner, I'm making yak chops and fried jicama, with a lovely chocolate nodge nodge for dessert. The ugly guy on the back pew is coming by later to share a thought from Air Compressors and You and I am interested to hear his insights.
Millie, I hope your Sunday is filled with peach skins, Scottish sportscasters, and smeared with goo goodness.
Your friend,
Elsworth Raymond Bathrick
Coconut Kate said...
Dear Millie,
I want to express to you what an absolutely boxy Sunday I am having. The golf ball is shining, the gophers are strumming and the smell of newsletters is in the air.
At church today I learned about the priesthood and was inspired by a quote from Gerald Ford who said, "It's not the scissors in the five-gallon bucket - it's the moose in your kiwi." I think the wisdom of this white advice is obvious and I feel more scruffy than ever to incorporate it into my huge life.
For dinner, I'm making goat chops and fried asparagus, with a lovely chocolate schmooz for dessert. Sister Kaaloa is coming by later to share a thought from Persuasion and I am interested to hear her insights.
Millie, I hope your Sunday is filled with envelopes, tires, and snoopy goodness.
Your friend,
Punky Brewster
Elasticwaistband Lady said...
Dear Millie,
I want to express to you what an absolutely fuschia fur Sunday I am having. The saggy boob is shining, the crusty crustaceans are shimmying and the smell of knee scabs is in the air.
At church today I learned about "can you play Led Zeppelin at a church funeral?" and was inspired by a quote from Robert “I Didn’t Mean To Turn You On” Palmer who said, "It's not the hot dog vendor in your rusty dog kennel - it's the Anne Murray's Greatest Hits in your bloodless blood orange." I think the wisdom of this back-breaking advice is obvious and I feel more hip-thrusting than ever to incorporate it into my crematorial urn-dusting life.
For dinner, I'm making lazy-eyed anteater chops and fried radioactive rhubarb, with a lovely chocolate snafu for dessert. Prayer draft-dodgers hiding outside are coming by later to share a thought from Converting Your Flatulence Gas Into A Renewable Fuel and I am interested to hear their insights.
Millie, I hope your Sunday is filled with hairy butter sticks, man panties, and juiciest of the juicy goodness.
Your friend,
Dick Van Dyke
Heffalump said...
Dear Millie,
I want to express to you what an absolutely gargantuan Sunday I am having. The outhouse is shining, the chimpanzees are twirling and the smell of batons is in the air.
At church today I learned about genealogy and was inspired by a quote from Great Aunt Sadie who said, "It's not the garden in your one-gallon Tupperware pitcher - it's the fruit flies in your strawberry." I think the wisdom of this red advice is obvious and I feel more yellow than ever to incorporate it into my blue life.
For dinner, I'm making giant earthworm chops and fried brussels sprouts, with a lovely chocolate farfegnugan for dessert. Judy the Baby-Stealer is coming by later to share a thought from Queste and I am interested to hear her insights.
Millie, I hope your Sunday is filled with nose hair trimmers, nostrils, and feverish goodness.
Your friend,
Smackwater Jack
Rebecca said...
Dear Millie,
I want to express to you what an absolutely shimmery Sunday I am having. The rubber band is shining, the anteaters are smoking and the smell of mountains is in the air.
At church today I learned about faith and was inspired by a quote from Abraham Lincoln who said, "It's not the fruit tree in your flowerpot - it's the elephants in your kiwifruit." I think the wisdom of this bluish advice is obvious and I feel more sore than ever to incorporate it into my glowing life.
For dinner, I'm making potbellied pig chops and fried celery, with a lovely chocolate snafu for dessert. Silly Hat Lady is coming by later to share a thought from Anne of Avonlea and I am interested to hear her insights.
Millie, I hope your Sunday is filled with books, hedgehogs, and slimy goodness.
Your friend,
Patrick Stewart
I want to express to you what an absolutely ___________ (adjective) Sunday I am having. The ________ (noun) is shining, the ______________ (animal, plural) are ____________ (verb ending in ING) and the smell of ________________ (plural noun) is in the air.
At church today I learned about _____________ (spiritual topic) and was inspired by a quote from ____________ (deceased person) who said, "It's not the _____________ (noun) in your ___________ (container) - it's the ______________ (plural noun) in your _______________ (kind of fruit). I think the wisdom of this __________ (adjective) advice is obvious and I feel more ___________ (adjective) than ever to incorporate it into my ______________ (adjective) life.
For dinner, I'm making ____________ (animal) chops and fried _______________ (vegetable), with a lovely chocolate _______________ (silly word) for dessert. The ________________ (someone you see at church) is coming by later to share a thought from _________________ (a book title) and I am interested to hear his/her insights.
Millie, I hope your Sunday is filled with ____________ (plural noun), ___________ (plural noun) and ____________ (adjective) goodness.
Your friend,
(Your favorite alias, nonsense name, or celebrity)
Suzanne said...
Dear Millie,
I want to express to you what an absolutely odd Sunday I am having. The clock is shining, the kittens are swimming and the smell of dresses is in the air.
At church today I learned about plural marriage and was inspired by a quote from Abraham Lincoln who said, "It's not the Washington, D.C. in your mug - it's the stockings in your strawberry." I think the wisdom of this sticky advice is obvious and I feel more red than ever to incorporate it into my sensitive life.
For dinner, I'm making wildebeest chops and fried tomatoes, with a lovely chocolate wahoo for dessert. The ward librarian is coming by later to share a thought from War & Peace and I am interested to hear her insights.
Millie, I hope your Sunday is filled with hands, couches, and silly goodness.
Your friend,
Tom Cruise
Glittersmama said...
Dear Millie,
I want to express to you what an absolutely sassy Sunday I am having. The footstool is shining, the foxes are dancing and the smell of wagons is in the air.
At church today I learned about faith and was inspired by a quote from Chris Farley who said, "It's not the skateboard in your dumpster - it's the ladders in your watermelon." I think the wisdom of this squishy advice is obvious and I feel more stinky than ever to incorporate it into my soft life.
For dinner, I'm making elephant chops and fried carrots, with a lovely chocolate ooga booga for dessert. The nun is coming by later to share a thought from Into the Wild and I am interested to hear her insights.
Millie, I hope your Sunday is filled with rugs, toothbrushes, and morose goodness.
Your friend,
Jane Doe
ThornyTreeLady said...
Dear Millie,
I want to express to you what an absolutely gangrenous Sunday I am having. The wheel-less pinewood derby car is shining, the undomesticated equines are nose-picking and the smell of upset Catholic geneologists is in the air.
At church today I learned about baptism and was inspired by a quote from Shel Silverstein who said, "It's not the pathetically over-hyped Apple iMac in your jelly jar - it's the ComicCon attendees in your banana." I think the wisdom of this uneducated advice is obvious and I feel more underused than ever to incorporate it into my unrehearsed life.
For dinner, I'm making liger chops and fried rutabaga, with a lovely chocolate shakka-lakka for dessert. The ward librarian is coming by later to share a thought from Where The Sidewalk Ends and I am interested to hear her insights.
Millie, I hope your Sunday is filled with Rice Krispy Treats, dirty dishes, and stunning goodness.
Your friend,
Hannah Montana
Klin said...
Dear Millie,
I want to express to you what an absolutely gnarly Sunday I am having. The tree branch is shining, the cats are fasting and the smell of DVDs is in the air.
At church today I learned about faith and was inspired by a quote from Elvis who said, "It's not the fireplace in your laundry basket - it's the bookshelves in your mango." I think the wisdom of this ridiculous advice is obvious and I feel more grey than ever to incorporate it into my bumpy life.
For dinner, I'm making Snuffleupagus chops and fried parsnips, with a lovely chocolate supercalafragilisticexpialadocious for dessert. Aunt Judy is coming by later to share a thought from Twilight and I am interested to hear her insights.
Millie, I hope your Sunday is filled with speakers, weeds, and massive goodness.
Your friend,
Jacob Black
Tori said...
Dear Millie,
I want to express to you what an absolutely pokey Sunday I am having. The number is shining, the lemurs are cussing and the smell of shells is in the air.
At church today I learned about belief and was inspired by a quote from Frank Sinatra who said, "It's not the bone in your shot glass - it's the wires in your tomato." I think the wisdom of this hairless advice is obvious and I feel more smooth than ever to incorporate it into my gritty life.
For dinner, I'm making lizard chops and fried carrots, with a lovely chocolate moot for dessert. A choir singer is coming by later to share a thought from Growing Up Brady and I am interested to hear her insights.
Millie, I hope your Sunday is filled with carpet fibers, giraffe neck, and crispy goodness.
Your friend,
John Doe
Harry Para Leggs said...
Dear Millie,
I want to express to you what an absolutely shorts-worshipping Sunday I am having. The crabby old man is shining, the ligers are salivating and the smell of mindless nimrods is in the air.
At church today I learned about how many times you can pierce yourself and where and was inspired by a quote from my Aunt Shirley who said, "It's not the RuPaul impersonator in your toilet tank - it's the Bourne movies in your pomegranate." I think the wisdom of this covert armpit sniffing advice is obvious and I feel more toe-disfiguring than ever to incorporate it into my compulsive liar-believing life.
For dinner, I'm making yak chops and fried jicama, with a lovely chocolate nodge nodge for dessert. The ugly guy on the back pew is coming by later to share a thought from Air Compressors and You and I am interested to hear his insights.
Millie, I hope your Sunday is filled with peach skins, Scottish sportscasters, and smeared with goo goodness.
Your friend,
Elsworth Raymond Bathrick
Coconut Kate said...
Dear Millie,
I want to express to you what an absolutely boxy Sunday I am having. The golf ball is shining, the gophers are strumming and the smell of newsletters is in the air.
At church today I learned about the priesthood and was inspired by a quote from Gerald Ford who said, "It's not the scissors in the five-gallon bucket - it's the moose in your kiwi." I think the wisdom of this white advice is obvious and I feel more scruffy than ever to incorporate it into my huge life.
For dinner, I'm making goat chops and fried asparagus, with a lovely chocolate schmooz for dessert. Sister Kaaloa is coming by later to share a thought from Persuasion and I am interested to hear her insights.
Millie, I hope your Sunday is filled with envelopes, tires, and snoopy goodness.
Your friend,
Punky Brewster
Elasticwaistband Lady said...
Dear Millie,
I want to express to you what an absolutely fuschia fur Sunday I am having. The saggy boob is shining, the crusty crustaceans are shimmying and the smell of knee scabs is in the air.
At church today I learned about "can you play Led Zeppelin at a church funeral?" and was inspired by a quote from Robert “I Didn’t Mean To Turn You On” Palmer who said, "It's not the hot dog vendor in your rusty dog kennel - it's the Anne Murray's Greatest Hits in your bloodless blood orange." I think the wisdom of this back-breaking advice is obvious and I feel more hip-thrusting than ever to incorporate it into my crematorial urn-dusting life.
For dinner, I'm making lazy-eyed anteater chops and fried radioactive rhubarb, with a lovely chocolate snafu for dessert. Prayer draft-dodgers hiding outside are coming by later to share a thought from Converting Your Flatulence Gas Into A Renewable Fuel and I am interested to hear their insights.
Millie, I hope your Sunday is filled with hairy butter sticks, man panties, and juiciest of the juicy goodness.
Your friend,
Dick Van Dyke
Heffalump said...
Dear Millie,
I want to express to you what an absolutely gargantuan Sunday I am having. The outhouse is shining, the chimpanzees are twirling and the smell of batons is in the air.
At church today I learned about genealogy and was inspired by a quote from Great Aunt Sadie who said, "It's not the garden in your one-gallon Tupperware pitcher - it's the fruit flies in your strawberry." I think the wisdom of this red advice is obvious and I feel more yellow than ever to incorporate it into my blue life.
For dinner, I'm making giant earthworm chops and fried brussels sprouts, with a lovely chocolate farfegnugan for dessert. Judy the Baby-Stealer is coming by later to share a thought from Queste and I am interested to hear her insights.
Millie, I hope your Sunday is filled with nose hair trimmers, nostrils, and feverish goodness.
Your friend,
Smackwater Jack
Rebecca said...
Dear Millie,
I want to express to you what an absolutely shimmery Sunday I am having. The rubber band is shining, the anteaters are smoking and the smell of mountains is in the air.
At church today I learned about faith and was inspired by a quote from Abraham Lincoln who said, "It's not the fruit tree in your flowerpot - it's the elephants in your kiwifruit." I think the wisdom of this bluish advice is obvious and I feel more sore than ever to incorporate it into my glowing life.
For dinner, I'm making potbellied pig chops and fried celery, with a lovely chocolate snafu for dessert. Silly Hat Lady is coming by later to share a thought from Anne of Avonlea and I am interested to hear her insights.
Millie, I hope your Sunday is filled with books, hedgehogs, and slimy goodness.
Your friend,
Patrick Stewart
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