Bringing Home the Good (Or Is It Bad?) News

Dear Parent,

Here is (person in room)'s report card for the (adjective) eighth grade. He/she has received a/an (letter) in English, a/an (letter) in Mathematics, and an A in Social (plural noun). Unfortunately, we could not give a passing (noun) in (noun) Education because his/her broken (body part) prevented the taking of the final (noun). This (adjective) class can be made up in our summer (noun). The school believes a "parent-(noun)" conference is necessary to discuss (same person in room)'s (adjective) behavior. He/She continues to draw (adjective) pictures on the bathroom (noun) and talks (adverb) behind the teacher's (body part). Please call the principal's (noun) for a/an (adjective) appointment immediately.

Sincerely,
Mr./Ms. (another person in room)
Head (occupation)

Millie said...
Dear Parent,

Here is the ghost of Aunt Ahra's report card for the eats-then-leaves eighth grade. She has received a K in English, a W in Mathematics, and an A in Social Shaved Legs. Unfortunately, we could not give a passing basket case in Nosy Telephone Operator Education because her broken toe prevented the taking of the final giant souvenir pencil. This Bart Simpson-resembling class can be made up in our summer brownie crumb. The school believes a "parent-extremely rude house guest" conference is necessary to discuss the ghost of Aunt Ahra's mannequin pose mocking behavior. She continues to draw winged pictures on the bathroom hummingbird beak and talks awkwardly behind the teacher's medulla oblongata. Please call the principal's smart aleck remark for a poker-faced appointment immediately.

Sincerely,
Mr. Fred Ferd
Head Cupid Portrayer

Heffalump said...
Dear Parent,

Here is Ingrid's report card for the busty eighth grade. She has received an X in English, a Z in Mathematics, and an A in Social Placebos. Unfortunately, we could not give a passing crop duster in Menagerie Education because her broken nostril prevented the taking of the final Sonic screwdriver. This crusty class can be made up in our summer flip flop. The school believes a "parent-monkey" conference is necessary to discuss Ingrid's dusty behavior. She continues to draw lusty pictures on the bathroom avocado and talks fiestily behind the teacher's clavicle. Please call the principal's Mars for a musty appointment immediately.

Sincerely,
Ms. Ingeborg
Head Goatherd