12 nouns
2 adjectives
3 plural nouns
Verb ending in "ING"
Adverb
Part of the body - plural
Monday, May 30, 2011
Friday, May 27, 2011
Bringing Home the Good (Or Is It Bad?) News
Dear Parent,
Here is (person in room)'s report card for the (adjective) eighth grade. He/she has received a/an (letter) in English, a/an (letter) in Mathematics, and an A in Social (plural noun). Unfortunately, we could not give a passing (noun) in (noun) Education because his/her broken (body part) prevented the taking of the final (noun). This (adjective) class can be made up in our summer (noun). The school believes a "parent-(noun)" conference is necessary to discuss (same person in room)'s (adjective) behavior. He/She continues to draw (adjective) pictures on the bathroom (noun) and talks (adverb) behind the teacher's (body part). Please call the principal's (noun) for a/an (adjective) appointment immediately.
Sincerely,
Mr./Ms. (another person in room)
Head (occupation)
Millie said...
Dear Parent,
Here is the ghost of Aunt Ahra's report card for the eats-then-leaves eighth grade. She has received a K in English, a W in Mathematics, and an A in Social Shaved Legs. Unfortunately, we could not give a passing basket case in Nosy Telephone Operator Education because her broken toe prevented the taking of the final giant souvenir pencil. This Bart Simpson-resembling class can be made up in our summer brownie crumb. The school believes a "parent-extremely rude house guest" conference is necessary to discuss the ghost of Aunt Ahra's mannequin pose mocking behavior. She continues to draw winged pictures on the bathroom hummingbird beak and talks awkwardly behind the teacher's medulla oblongata. Please call the principal's smart aleck remark for a poker-faced appointment immediately.
Sincerely,
Mr. Fred Ferd
Head Cupid Portrayer
Heffalump said...
Dear Parent,
Here is Ingrid's report card for the busty eighth grade. She has received an X in English, a Z in Mathematics, and an A in Social Placebos. Unfortunately, we could not give a passing crop duster in Menagerie Education because her broken nostril prevented the taking of the final Sonic screwdriver. This crusty class can be made up in our summer flip flop. The school believes a "parent-monkey" conference is necessary to discuss Ingrid's dusty behavior. She continues to draw lusty pictures on the bathroom avocado and talks fiestily behind the teacher's clavicle. Please call the principal's Mars for a musty appointment immediately.
Sincerely,
Ms. Ingeborg
Head Goatherd
Here is (person in room)'s report card for the (adjective) eighth grade. He/she has received a/an (letter) in English, a/an (letter) in Mathematics, and an A in Social (plural noun). Unfortunately, we could not give a passing (noun) in (noun) Education because his/her broken (body part) prevented the taking of the final (noun). This (adjective) class can be made up in our summer (noun). The school believes a "parent-(noun)" conference is necessary to discuss (same person in room)'s (adjective) behavior. He/She continues to draw (adjective) pictures on the bathroom (noun) and talks (adverb) behind the teacher's (body part). Please call the principal's (noun) for a/an (adjective) appointment immediately.
Sincerely,
Mr./Ms. (another person in room)
Head (occupation)
Millie said...
Dear Parent,
Here is the ghost of Aunt Ahra's report card for the eats-then-leaves eighth grade. She has received a K in English, a W in Mathematics, and an A in Social Shaved Legs. Unfortunately, we could not give a passing basket case in Nosy Telephone Operator Education because her broken toe prevented the taking of the final giant souvenir pencil. This Bart Simpson-resembling class can be made up in our summer brownie crumb. The school believes a "parent-extremely rude house guest" conference is necessary to discuss the ghost of Aunt Ahra's mannequin pose mocking behavior. She continues to draw winged pictures on the bathroom hummingbird beak and talks awkwardly behind the teacher's medulla oblongata. Please call the principal's smart aleck remark for a poker-faced appointment immediately.
Sincerely,
Mr. Fred Ferd
Head Cupid Portrayer
Heffalump said...
Dear Parent,
Here is Ingrid's report card for the busty eighth grade. She has received an X in English, a Z in Mathematics, and an A in Social Placebos. Unfortunately, we could not give a passing crop duster in Menagerie Education because her broken nostril prevented the taking of the final Sonic screwdriver. This crusty class can be made up in our summer flip flop. The school believes a "parent-monkey" conference is necessary to discuss Ingrid's dusty behavior. She continues to draw lusty pictures on the bathroom avocado and talks fiestily behind the teacher's clavicle. Please call the principal's Mars for a musty appointment immediately.
Sincerely,
Ms. Ingeborg
Head Goatherd
Friday, May 20, 2011
Smoking Cigarettes
Medical science has discovered that smoking cigarettes causes (type of disease). It is also bad for your (noun) and causes pains in the (part of the body). When mice and dogs were exposed to (adjective) cigarette smoke, they developed (person in room)’s disease. Tobacco companies have put charcoal (plural noun) on the ends of cigarettes, but they still spend millions of (plural noun) advertising their (nasty adjective) product. If you smoke cigarettes, the tobacco will leave all kinds of tar and (plural noun) in your lungs. This will make you cough and say, “(exclamation)!” Don’t smoke cigarettes. Remember, only (plural noun) smoke.
Heffalump said...
Medical science has discovered that smoking cigarettes causes hypertrichosis. It is also bad for your beauty school and causes pains in the big toe. When mice and dogs were exposed to unsightly cigarette smoke, they developed Pablo’s disease. Tobacco companies have put charcoal bunions on the ends of cigarettes, but they still spend millions of eyebrows advertising their putrescent product. If you smoke cigarettes, the tobacco will leave all kinds of tar and teeth in your lungs. This will make you cough and say, “Holy Doilies Grandma!” Don’t smoke cigarettes. Remember, only midgets smoke.
Millie said...
Medical science has discovered that smoking cigarettes causes Monkey Gut. It is also bad for your Silly String and causes pains in the pancreas. When mice and dogs were exposed to elastic cigarette smoke, they developed Disgruntled Gretel’s disease. Tobacco companies have put charcoal punched-out lights on the ends of cigarettes, but they still spend millions of naysayers advertising their icky-poo product. If you smoke cigarettes, the tobacco will leave all kinds of tar and edible socks in your lungs. This will make you cough and say, “Ouch! My Butt!” Don’t smoke cigarettes. Remember, only 14-month-olds smoke.
Heffalump said...
Medical science has discovered that smoking cigarettes causes hypertrichosis. It is also bad for your beauty school and causes pains in the big toe. When mice and dogs were exposed to unsightly cigarette smoke, they developed Pablo’s disease. Tobacco companies have put charcoal bunions on the ends of cigarettes, but they still spend millions of eyebrows advertising their putrescent product. If you smoke cigarettes, the tobacco will leave all kinds of tar and teeth in your lungs. This will make you cough and say, “Holy Doilies Grandma!” Don’t smoke cigarettes. Remember, only midgets smoke.
Millie said...
Medical science has discovered that smoking cigarettes causes Monkey Gut. It is also bad for your Silly String and causes pains in the pancreas. When mice and dogs were exposed to elastic cigarette smoke, they developed Disgruntled Gretel’s disease. Tobacco companies have put charcoal punched-out lights on the ends of cigarettes, but they still spend millions of naysayers advertising their icky-poo product. If you smoke cigarettes, the tobacco will leave all kinds of tar and edible socks in your lungs. This will make you cough and say, “Ouch! My Butt!” Don’t smoke cigarettes. Remember, only 14-month-olds smoke.
Friday, May 13, 2011
How To Do That New Dance, the Monstrosity
Here's how you do the Monstrosity. First, stand with your feet together. Now move your left foot (adverb) to the side. Now stamp your right foot (number) times and put your hands on your partner's (plural noun). Next, you both (verb) slowly to the right and bend your (part of the body) backward. Now for the next eight counts, both of you (verb) (adverb) to the left. Next, you and your partner stand back to back and wiggle your (plural noun) and slap your (plural noun) together. Don't forget to keep stamping your right foot. Now face your partner again, put your (plural noun) together and shout, "(nonsense word)!" Now (verb) backward and repeat the whole thing (number) times. If you feel that you can't learn this dance, you can always (verb) the next one out.
Millie said...
Here's how you do the Monstrosity. First, stand with your feet together. Now move your left foot snippily to the side. Now stamp your right foot 287 times and put your hands on your partner's cranky old bus drivers. Next, you both sip slowly to the right and bend your elbow pudge backward. Now for the next eight counts, both of you slap sunglasses-wearingly to the left. Next, you and your partner stand back to back and wiggle your bored children and slap your toenail clippers together. Don't forget to keep stamping your right foot. Now face your partner again, put your wedgies together and shout, "Malloopy-loopy!" Now spank backward and repeat the whole thing 8.1 times. If you feel that you can't learn this dance, you can always throttle the next one out.
Millie said...
Here's how you do the Monstrosity. First, stand with your feet together. Now move your left foot snippily to the side. Now stamp your right foot 287 times and put your hands on your partner's cranky old bus drivers. Next, you both sip slowly to the right and bend your elbow pudge backward. Now for the next eight counts, both of you slap sunglasses-wearingly to the left. Next, you and your partner stand back to back and wiggle your bored children and slap your toenail clippers together. Don't forget to keep stamping your right foot. Now face your partner again, put your wedgies together and shout, "Malloopy-loopy!" Now spank backward and repeat the whole thing 8.1 times. If you feel that you can't learn this dance, you can always throttle the next one out.
Friday, May 6, 2011
Bird Watching and Vice Versa
Bird watching can be more fun than a barrel of (plural noun). Our (adjective) feathered friends are everywhere, waiting to be watched. An interesting bird to start with is the (adjective) oriole, which builds its nest in (noun) trees. Early in spring we hear the oriole give its mating call, which sounds like this: "(funny noise)." Then the male and female get together and (verb). Later, the female lays (number) eggs. Isn't that (adjective)? Another fascinating bird is the (adjective)-breasted nuthatch. The nuthatch is very tame. He will fly down and land right on your (noun), and eat out of your (plural noun). Other birds to watch out for are the red-crested (noun), the (adjective)-necked thrush, and the yellow-bellied (adjective) sucker. Now that you know something about birds - get out there and watch!
Millie said...
Bird watching can be more fun than a barrel of birthers. Our repeatedly sniffed feathered friends are everywhere, waiting to be watched. An interesting bird to start with is the knocked sideways oriole, which builds its nest in deformed mouse trees. Early in spring we hear the oriole give its mating call, which sounds like this: "CRANG." Then the male and female get together and Snoopy dance. Later, the female lays 273 eggs. Isn't that Froot Loops-loving? Another fascinating bird is the upset-breasted nuthatch. The nuthatch is very tame. He will fly down and land right on your wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald, and eat out of your angry cockroaches. Other birds to watch out for are the red-crested questionable cold sore, the left out in the rain-necked thrush, and the yellow-bellied scorched sucker. Now that you know something about birds - get out there and watch!
Heffalump said...
Bird watching can be more fun than a barrel of Pilates instructors. Our steam powered feathered friends are everywhere, waiting to be watched. An interesting bird to start with is the vacuum sealed oriole, which builds its nest in Golden Globe Award trees. Early in spring we hear the oriole give its mating call, which sounds like this: "beeeeeeellllllch." Then the male and female get together and ruminate. Later, the female lays 17 eggs. Isn't that superfluous? Another fascinating bird is the dipped in chocolate-breasted nuthatch. The nuthatch is very tame. He will fly down and land right on your stainless steel vat, and eat out of your donut holes. Other birds to watch out for are the red-crested underpaid airline pat-down technician, the flame retardant-necked thrush, and the yellow-bellied sequinned sucker. Now that you know something about birds - get out there and watch!
Millie said...
Bird watching can be more fun than a barrel of birthers. Our repeatedly sniffed feathered friends are everywhere, waiting to be watched. An interesting bird to start with is the knocked sideways oriole, which builds its nest in deformed mouse trees. Early in spring we hear the oriole give its mating call, which sounds like this: "CRANG." Then the male and female get together and Snoopy dance. Later, the female lays 273 eggs. Isn't that Froot Loops-loving? Another fascinating bird is the upset-breasted nuthatch. The nuthatch is very tame. He will fly down and land right on your wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald, and eat out of your angry cockroaches. Other birds to watch out for are the red-crested questionable cold sore, the left out in the rain-necked thrush, and the yellow-bellied scorched sucker. Now that you know something about birds - get out there and watch!
Heffalump said...
Bird watching can be more fun than a barrel of Pilates instructors. Our steam powered feathered friends are everywhere, waiting to be watched. An interesting bird to start with is the vacuum sealed oriole, which builds its nest in Golden Globe Award trees. Early in spring we hear the oriole give its mating call, which sounds like this: "beeeeeeellllllch." Then the male and female get together and ruminate. Later, the female lays 17 eggs. Isn't that superfluous? Another fascinating bird is the dipped in chocolate-breasted nuthatch. The nuthatch is very tame. He will fly down and land right on your stainless steel vat, and eat out of your donut holes. Other birds to watch out for are the red-crested underpaid airline pat-down technician, the flame retardant-necked thrush, and the yellow-bellied sequinned sucker. Now that you know something about birds - get out there and watch!
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