Fellow Students of (school)! We the members of the Students for a (adjective) Society are meeting here to decide what action to take about the Dean of (plural noun). He has just fired our friend, Professor (name of man), because he wore his (part of body) long, and because he dressed in a (article of clothing) and wore old (plural noun). Next week, we are going to protest by taking over the (noun) building and kidnapping the Assistant (noun). We also will demand that all students have the right to wear (adjective) hair and (adjective) beards. Remember our slogan: "Down with (plural noun)!"
Millie said...
Fellow Students of Sally Sitwell's School of Poise and Posture! We the members of the Students for a Treat-obsessed Society are meeting here to decide what action to take about the Dean of Hip-swayers. He has just fired our friend, Professor Horatio Inkblot, because he wore his cute pink man ear long, and because he dressed in rainbow suspenders and wore old, unruly roosters that crow all day long. Next week, we are going to protest by taking over the slimy pig nose building and kidnapping the Assistant Dial Tone. We also will demand that all students have the right to wear moss-covered hair and angry-at-clouds beards. Remember our slogan: "Down with secretly sipped drinks!"
Klin said...
Fellow Students of Rosalie's Refining Academy for Girls! We the members of the Students for a Crunchy Society are meeting here to decide what action to take about the Dean of Rawhide Dog Treats. He has just fired our friend, Professor Sergeant Gibbs, because he wore his belly button long, and because he dressed in a flip flop and wore old long days. Next week, we are going to protest by taking over the new video building and kidnapping the Assistant Ballet Slipper. We also will demand that all students have the right to wear tired hair and boring beards. Remember our slogan: "Down with hundreds of BeJeweled games!"
Heffalump said...
Fellow Students of The Grimm Brothers' School for Repentant Fairy Tale Villains! We the members of the Students for a Winged Society are meeting here to decide what action to take about the Dean of Gingerbread Houses. He has just fired our friend, Professor Westley the Farm Boy, because he wore his webby place between your toes long, and because he dressed in a mask and wore old breadcrumbs. Next week, we are going to protest by taking over the Father's Sword building and kidnapping the Assistant Oven Belonging to an Evil Witch. We also will demand that all students have the right to wear home cooked hair and kiln dried beards. Remember our slogan: "Down with evil stepmothers!"
Friday, March 25, 2011
Friday, March 18, 2011
Fable
Once upon a time a (adjective) (noun) expert named (name of person) felt a (adjective) pain. He sent for a (adjective) surgeon who looked at his (adjective) stomach and said, "(exclamation)!" Then he muttered (adverb), "I see your trouble. The (noun) on your (adjective) stomach is overlapping the (noun) next to your kidney." The surgeon (adverb) took him to the (adjective) operating room of the hospital. There he made a (adjective) incision reaching from the patient's (noun) to his (noun). "(Exclamation)!" said the surgeon. "That takes care of that (adjective) (noun)." With that, he began sewing up the incision. However, on the tenth stitch the patient sneezed and almost pulled the (noun) out of the (noun), but the surgeon took one final stitch and saved the (noun).
MORAL: A (noun) in time saves nine.
Heffalump said...
Once upon a time a pink polka-dotted pirate expert named Dudley felt a fur-lined pain. He sent for a nautically inspired surgeon who looked at his groovy stomach and said, "Holy Hot Cocoa!" Then he muttered emphatically, "I see your trouble. The sous chef on your ardent stomach is overlapping the baby carrot next to your kidney." The surgeon squelchingly took him to the lost in the Bermuda Triangle operating room of the hospital. There he made a spindly incision reaching from the patient's weiner dog to his IRS agent being pursued by angry taxpayers. "Serendipitous!" said the surgeon. "That takes care of that effervescent rubber raft." With that, he began sewing up the incision. However, on the tenth stitch the patient sneezed and almost pulled the water wings out of the school bus converted into a mobile home, but the surgeon took one final stitch and saved the sledgehammer.
MORAL: A Canadian mountie in time saves nine.
Klin said...
Once upon a time a torn up radiation fear expert named Muammar Gaddafi felt a soured pain. He sent for a disputed surgeon who looked at his minty flavor stomach and said, "Holy Batman!" Then he muttered blithely, "I see your trouble. The tsunami on your brand spanking new stomach is overlapping the nuclear reactor next to your kidney." The surgeon assiduously took him to the fluffy operating room of the hospital. There he made a not-quite-done incision reaching from the patient's birthday boy to his adorable puppy. "What the cabbage!" said the surgeon. "That takes care of that kiwi-eating magazine stack." With that, he began sewing up the incision. However, on the tenth stitch the patient sneezed and almost pulled the purported progress out of the dog toy, but the surgeon took one final stitch and saved the smelly shoe.
MORAL: A barking dog in time saves nine.
Millie said...
Once upon a time a screwed up goat nostril expert named Love Handle Larry felt an always tardy pain. He sent for a booger-coated surgeon who looked at his flummoxed stomach and said, "What the WHAAAAA?!" Then he muttered perspiringly, "I see your trouble. The unwanted pencil on your Snow White costume-wearing stomach is overlapping the Burgerville milkshake next to your kidney." The surgeon lip-smackingly took him to the yellow and questionable operating room of the hospital. There he made an eyeball-less incision reaching from the patient's cavity creep to his teenager in love. "Keep that guy away from my cocaine!" said the surgeon. "That takes care of that minty fresh wet trampoline that splashes when you jump." With that, he began sewing up the incision. However, on the tenth stitch the patient sneezed and almost pulled the T-shirt gun out of the frostbite, but the surgeon took one final stitch and saved the Fox News-watching and paranoid old man.
MORAL: A paramedic in time saves nine.
MORAL: A (noun) in time saves nine.
Heffalump said...
Once upon a time a pink polka-dotted pirate expert named Dudley felt a fur-lined pain. He sent for a nautically inspired surgeon who looked at his groovy stomach and said, "Holy Hot Cocoa!" Then he muttered emphatically, "I see your trouble. The sous chef on your ardent stomach is overlapping the baby carrot next to your kidney." The surgeon squelchingly took him to the lost in the Bermuda Triangle operating room of the hospital. There he made a spindly incision reaching from the patient's weiner dog to his IRS agent being pursued by angry taxpayers. "Serendipitous!" said the surgeon. "That takes care of that effervescent rubber raft." With that, he began sewing up the incision. However, on the tenth stitch the patient sneezed and almost pulled the water wings out of the school bus converted into a mobile home, but the surgeon took one final stitch and saved the sledgehammer.
MORAL: A Canadian mountie in time saves nine.
Klin said...
Once upon a time a torn up radiation fear expert named Muammar Gaddafi felt a soured pain. He sent for a disputed surgeon who looked at his minty flavor stomach and said, "Holy Batman!" Then he muttered blithely, "I see your trouble. The tsunami on your brand spanking new stomach is overlapping the nuclear reactor next to your kidney." The surgeon assiduously took him to the fluffy operating room of the hospital. There he made a not-quite-done incision reaching from the patient's birthday boy to his adorable puppy. "What the cabbage!" said the surgeon. "That takes care of that kiwi-eating magazine stack." With that, he began sewing up the incision. However, on the tenth stitch the patient sneezed and almost pulled the purported progress out of the dog toy, but the surgeon took one final stitch and saved the smelly shoe.
MORAL: A barking dog in time saves nine.
Millie said...
Once upon a time a screwed up goat nostril expert named Love Handle Larry felt an always tardy pain. He sent for a booger-coated surgeon who looked at his flummoxed stomach and said, "What the WHAAAAA?!" Then he muttered perspiringly, "I see your trouble. The unwanted pencil on your Snow White costume-wearing stomach is overlapping the Burgerville milkshake next to your kidney." The surgeon lip-smackingly took him to the yellow and questionable operating room of the hospital. There he made an eyeball-less incision reaching from the patient's cavity creep to his teenager in love. "Keep that guy away from my cocaine!" said the surgeon. "That takes care of that minty fresh wet trampoline that splashes when you jump." With that, he began sewing up the incision. However, on the tenth stitch the patient sneezed and almost pulled the T-shirt gun out of the frostbite, but the surgeon took one final stitch and saved the Fox News-watching and paranoid old man.
MORAL: A paramedic in time saves nine.
Friday, March 11, 2011
Ireland
Ireland is a beautiful, green island lying directly west of (place). In 250 B.C., Ireland was inhabited by short, dark (plural noun) who were later called "Picts." They intermarried with (adjective) Vikings and with Celts who were (plural noun) from Northern Europe. In 1846, a blight ruined the (noun) crop in Ireland and over a million Irishmen migrated to the United States. Many of their descendants have become very important American (plural noun).
The Irish are noted for their poetry and songs. Some of these Irish songs are: "When Irish (plural noun) are Smiling," "Did Your (noun) Come From Ireland?" and "McNamara's (noun)."
Thousands of American tourists go to Ireland every year to visit its capital, (place), and buy Irish linen (plural noun), and see the beautiful (plural noun) and lakes.
Mel Smell said...
Ireland is a beautiful, green island lying directly west of the Breast Reduction Clinic. In 250 B.C., Ireland was inhabited by short, dark butt snots who were later called "Picts." They intermarried with licks everything to claim it Vikings and with Celts who were old lady hosiery from Northern Europe. In 1846, a blight ruined the constant wedgie crop in Ireland and over a million Irishmen migrated to the United States. Many of their descendants have become very important American armpit tattoos.
The Irish are noted for their poetry and songs. Some of these Irish songs are: "When Irish Annoying Noise-making Mothers are Smiling," "Did Your Week-old Depends Come From Ireland?" and "McNamara's Kitty Winker Perfume."
Thousands of American tourists go to Ireland every year to visit its capital, Undie Stain Steam-Cleaning Factory, and buy Irish linen gerbil tank tops, and see the beautiful naughty baby snot bubbles and lakes.
Heffalump said...
Ireland is a beautiful, green island lying directly west of the Lost City of Atlantis. In 250 B.C., Ireland was inhabited by short, dark unicorns who were later called "Picts." They intermarried with mythical Vikings and with Celts who were mermaids from Northern Europe. In 1846, a blight ruined the Nessie crop in Ireland and over a million Irishmen migrated to the United States. Many of their descendants have become very important American Chupacabras.
The Irish are noted for their poetry and songs. Some of these Irish songs are: "When Irish Fairies are Smiling," "Did Your Magical Sword Come From Ireland?" and "McNamara's Alternate Dimension."
Thousands of American tourists go to Ireland every year to visit its capital, Neverland, and buy Irish linen zombies, and see the beautiful gargoyles and lakes.
Klin said...
Ireland is a beautiful, green island lying directly west of Grand Cayman Islands. In 250 B.C., Ireland was inhabited by short, dark football players who were later called "Picts." They intermarried with flirty Vikings and with Celts who were dogs and cats from Northern Europe. In 1846, a blight ruined the math homework crop in Ireland and over a million Irishmen migrated to the United States. Many of their descendants have become very important American Girl Scout cookies.
The Irish are noted for their poetry and songs. Some of these Irish songs are: "When Irish 49-cent Burritos are Smiling," "Did Your Cute-Adorable Puppy Come From Ireland?" and "McNamara's Sassy Girl."
Thousands of American tourists go to Ireland every year to visit its capital, Dance Hall, and buy Irish linen baby clothes, and see the beautiful cell phones and lakes.
The Irish are noted for their poetry and songs. Some of these Irish songs are: "When Irish (plural noun) are Smiling," "Did Your (noun) Come From Ireland?" and "McNamara's (noun)."
Thousands of American tourists go to Ireland every year to visit its capital, (place), and buy Irish linen (plural noun), and see the beautiful (plural noun) and lakes.
Mel Smell said...
Ireland is a beautiful, green island lying directly west of the Breast Reduction Clinic. In 250 B.C., Ireland was inhabited by short, dark butt snots who were later called "Picts." They intermarried with licks everything to claim it Vikings and with Celts who were old lady hosiery from Northern Europe. In 1846, a blight ruined the constant wedgie crop in Ireland and over a million Irishmen migrated to the United States. Many of their descendants have become very important American armpit tattoos.
The Irish are noted for their poetry and songs. Some of these Irish songs are: "When Irish Annoying Noise-making Mothers are Smiling," "Did Your Week-old Depends Come From Ireland?" and "McNamara's Kitty Winker Perfume."
Thousands of American tourists go to Ireland every year to visit its capital, Undie Stain Steam-Cleaning Factory, and buy Irish linen gerbil tank tops, and see the beautiful naughty baby snot bubbles and lakes.
Heffalump said...
Ireland is a beautiful, green island lying directly west of the Lost City of Atlantis. In 250 B.C., Ireland was inhabited by short, dark unicorns who were later called "Picts." They intermarried with mythical Vikings and with Celts who were mermaids from Northern Europe. In 1846, a blight ruined the Nessie crop in Ireland and over a million Irishmen migrated to the United States. Many of their descendants have become very important American Chupacabras.
The Irish are noted for their poetry and songs. Some of these Irish songs are: "When Irish Fairies are Smiling," "Did Your Magical Sword Come From Ireland?" and "McNamara's Alternate Dimension."
Thousands of American tourists go to Ireland every year to visit its capital, Neverland, and buy Irish linen zombies, and see the beautiful gargoyles and lakes.
Klin said...
Ireland is a beautiful, green island lying directly west of Grand Cayman Islands. In 250 B.C., Ireland was inhabited by short, dark football players who were later called "Picts." They intermarried with flirty Vikings and with Celts who were dogs and cats from Northern Europe. In 1846, a blight ruined the math homework crop in Ireland and over a million Irishmen migrated to the United States. Many of their descendants have become very important American Girl Scout cookies.
The Irish are noted for their poetry and songs. Some of these Irish songs are: "When Irish 49-cent Burritos are Smiling," "Did Your Cute-Adorable Puppy Come From Ireland?" and "McNamara's Sassy Girl."
Thousands of American tourists go to Ireland every year to visit its capital, Dance Hall, and buy Irish linen baby clothes, and see the beautiful cell phones and lakes.
Friday, March 4, 2011
Beauty Advice
If your skin is (adjective) or (adjective), you can cure this condition with the following care. Every morning, before washing your (noun), massage it gently with a (noun) that has been soaked overnight in a (container) full of warm (liquid). Then mix together some (food) and some (food) until the mixture becomes (adjective). Pat this onto your (adjective) complexion for five minutes. Then remove, using a (noun), and wash your face with (adjective) water. Do not omit this (adjective) step or your skin will become (adjective). Do this (adverb) every day and you will soon be as (adjective) as (name of person).
Millie said...
If your skin is trapped in a wind tunnel or excommunicated, you can cure this condition with the following care. Every morning, before washing your Captain's Mess, massage it gently with a runaway hog that has been soaked overnight in a candy jar full of warm lettuce juice. Then mix together some tapenade and some fruit smoothie until the mixture becomes jolly like Santa. Pat this onto your dusty-smelling complexion for five minutes. Then remove, using a pennyroyal blossom, and wash your face with sick of rain water. Do not omit this tire-slashing step or your skin will become oboe reed-flavored. Do this Gozer-worshippingly every day and you will soon be as jounced until unrecognizable as Frightened Fred.
Heffalump said...
If your skin is stiff or smelly, you can cure this condition with the following care. Every morning, before washing your Subaru, massage it gently with a submarine that has been soaked overnight in a Salad Spinner full of warm Soft soap. Then mix together some spinach and some sprouts until the mixture becomes shiny. Pat this onto your stupid complexion for five minutes. Then remove, using a subway, and wash your face with strong water. Do not omit this suggestive step or your skin will become sizable. Do this stealthily every day and you will soon be as smooth as Sampson.
Millie said...
If your skin is trapped in a wind tunnel or excommunicated, you can cure this condition with the following care. Every morning, before washing your Captain's Mess, massage it gently with a runaway hog that has been soaked overnight in a candy jar full of warm lettuce juice. Then mix together some tapenade and some fruit smoothie until the mixture becomes jolly like Santa. Pat this onto your dusty-smelling complexion for five minutes. Then remove, using a pennyroyal blossom, and wash your face with sick of rain water. Do not omit this tire-slashing step or your skin will become oboe reed-flavored. Do this Gozer-worshippingly every day and you will soon be as jounced until unrecognizable as Frightened Fred.
Heffalump said...
If your skin is stiff or smelly, you can cure this condition with the following care. Every morning, before washing your Subaru, massage it gently with a submarine that has been soaked overnight in a Salad Spinner full of warm Soft soap. Then mix together some spinach and some sprouts until the mixture becomes shiny. Pat this onto your stupid complexion for five minutes. Then remove, using a subway, and wash your face with strong water. Do not omit this suggestive step or your skin will become sizable. Do this stealthily every day and you will soon be as smooth as Sampson.
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