New Year's Resolutions 2011

1. I, (name of person in room), will (verb) every day at the gym for at least (number) minutes.
2. At the dinner table, I will eat only (number) servings of (noun).
3. I will watch only (adjective) television shows.
4. I will tell (name of person in room) that I think he/she is a/an (adjective) (noun).
5. I will ask my boss for a/an (number)-dollar raise.
6. I will admit that I have a/an (adjective) personality.
7. I will take my (noun) to (noun) at least once a month.
8. I will (verb) one book every (number) weeks.
9. I will try to lose at least (number) pounds.
10. I will return the (adjective) (plural noun) I borrowed from (person in room).
11. I will get on a (noun) and only spend (number) dollars a month.

Millie said...
1. I, April the Ape, will sulk every day at the gym for at least 23 minutes.
2. At the dinner table, I will eat only 1 serving of footsie player.
3. I will watch only Grinch-like television shows.
4. I will tell Fanny B. Tender that I think she is a kitty fur-sprouting, exuberantly kissy aunt.
5. I will ask my boss for a 7329-dollar raise.
6. I will admit that I have a mumbling incoherently personality.
7. I will take my hissy fit to a complete and total mooch at least once a month.
8. I will whisper sweet nothings at one book every 8.4 weeks.
9. I will try to lose at least 12 pounds.
10. I will return the crowbar-wielding sports bras I borrowed from Nipsey Russell.
11. I will get on a toe hair and only spend 6 dollars a month.

Heffalump said...
1. I, Marty, will smack every day at the gym for at least 27 minutes.
2. At the dinner table, I will eat only 3 servings of treadmill.
3. I will watch only gravy-filled television shows.
4. I will tell Bartholomew that I think he is a particle-smashing nutcracker.
5. I will ask my boss for an 8295-dollar raise.
6. I will admit that I have a theatrical personality.
7. I will take my wire whisk to Grandmother at least once a month.
8. I will stomp one book every 7.325 weeks.
9. I will try to lose at least 66 pounds.
10. I will return the graceful skydivers I borrowed from Petunia.
11. I will get on a fish bowl and only spend 13 dollars a month.

Merry Christmas!

Millie is taking a Christmas break this week. See you next Monday! Merry Christmas to all my wonderful Mad Libs friends!

Christmas Poem 2010

'Twas the night before Christmas and all through the (noun)
Not a creature was stirring, not even a/an (noun).
The (plural noun) were tucked, all snug in their (plural noun),
While visions of (adjective) plums danced in their heads.
Then up on the (noun) there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my (noun) to see what was the matter.
It was St. Nicholas with his little (adjective) belly
That shook when he laughed like a bowl full of (plural noun).
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work
And filled all the (plural noun), then turned with a jerk,
And laying his (noun) aside of his nose,
And giving a nod, up the (noun) he rose.
And I heard him exclaim as he (verb, past tense) out of sight,
"(Adjective) Christmas to all, and to all a good night!"

Heffalump said...
'Twas the night before Christmas and all through the sled
Not a creature was stirring, not even hot cocoa.
The mittens were tucked, all snug in their snowballs,
While visions of tinsel-wearing plums danced in their heads.
Then up on the fireplace there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my igloo to see what was the matter.
It was St. Nicholas with his little sugar-induced belly
That shook when he laughed like a bowl full of elves.
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work
And filled all the ribbons, then turned with a jerk,
And laying his avalanche aside of his nose,
And giving a nod, up the ski patrol he rose.
And I heard him exclaim as he licked out of sight,
"Stressed Out Christmas to all, and to all a good night!"

Millie said...
'Twas the night before Christmas and all through the dilapidated slop bowl
Not a creature was stirring, not even hot bunny buns on a stick.
The bathtub rings were tucked, all snug in their Birk stinks,
While visions of raunchy plums danced in their heads.
Then up on the pink rhinestone tiara there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my Elvis impersonator to see what was the matter.
It was St. Nicholas with his little instructions-eschewing belly
That shook when he laughed like a bowl full of scissors.
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work
And filled all the fern spores, then turned with a jerk,
And laying his two-headed snake aside of his nose,
And giving a nod, up the guy elected president because he's not George Bush, he rose.
And I heard him exclaim as he throttled out of sight,
"Lichen-covered Christmas to all, and to all a good night!"

My Most Embarrassing Moment

By (name of girl in room)
My most embarrassing moment happened when I got a/an (adjective) busy to go to (geographical location). The bus was very (adjective), so I stood up and held onto a/an (noun). At the next stop I saw a/an (noun) get up and I ran over to grab his (noun), but I accidentally jabbed my (noun) into his (noun) and broke his (plural noun). And then as I was apologizing, the bus came to a/an (adjective) stop, which caused me to drop my (noun) and fall on top of a/an (adjective) lady who was carrying a/an (noun) on her lap. Believe me, my (noun) was red that day!

Millie said...
By Fri'chickenisha
My most embarrassing moment happened when I got an amorous bus to go to Poodleville. The bus was very fritatta-loving, so I stood up and held onto a chocolate chip. At the next stop I saw a Sim named Anita get up and I ran over to grab her boat launch, but I accidentally jabbed my never-makes-bedder into her chinchilla hair and broke her car door accidents. And then as I was apologizing, the bus came to an intent-on-courtship stop, which caused me to drop my pie and fall on top of a stupefied lady who was carrying a can of tomato soup on her lap. Believe me, my worm sign was red that day!

Heffalump said...
By Gerta
My most embarrassing moment happened when I got a battery operated bus to go to the highest mountain in Greenland. The bus was very test driven, so I stood up and held onto an ugly sweater. At the next stop I saw a woolly mammoth get up and I ran over to grab his tooth fairy reject, but I accidentally jabbed my carousel into his pink lemonade and broke his mittens made by grandmothers. And then as I was apologizing, the bus came to an approved by spelunkers stop, which caused me to drop my twine and fall on top of a finely minced lady who was carrying a bazooka on her lap. Believe me, my cardboard cutout of Darth Vader was red that day!

Superstitions

Although we believe ourselves to be (adverb) civilized, most of us are really (plural noun) at heart because we still believe in (adjective) superstitions that began while man still lived in (plural noun). Some of these superstitions are:
1. If you spill salt, throw some over your left (part of body).
2. If a black (animal) runs in front of you, you are in trouble.
3. If you break a/an (noun) , you will have (number) years of (adjective) luck.
4. Never (verb) under a ladder.
5. If your (part of body) itches, it means you will have a visitor.
6. If you hear a/an (animal) howl at midnight, someone in your family will end up in (geographical location).
7. If you want to keep vampires away, always wear a/an (something to eat) on a string around your (part of body).

Millie said...
Although we believe ourselves to be hand-wringingly civilized, most of us are really velvet slippers at heart because we still believe in jumper-wearing superstitions that began while man still lived in parsley flakes. Some of these superstitions are:
1. If you spill salt, throw some over your left knuckle dimple.
2. If a black raccoon runs in front of you, you are in trouble.
3. If you break a flagellum, you will have 237 years of positively charged luck.
4. Never leak under a ladder.
5. If your tootsie itches, it means you will have a visitor.
6. If you hear an emu howl at midnight, someone in your family will end up in Big Al's.
7. If you want to keep vampires away, always wear chocolate-covered potato chips on a string around your mouth.

Heffalump said...
Although we believe ourselves to be side-splittingly civilized, most of us are really bandanas at heart because we still believe in friendly superstitions that began while man still lived in tweezers. Some of these superstitions are:
1. If you spill salt, throw some over your left foot.
2. If a black sheep runs in front of you, you are in trouble.
3. If you break a daisy, you will have 5 years of funny luck.
4. Never laugh under a ladder.
5. If your recently pinched cheek itches, it means you will have a visitor.
6. If you hear a turkey howl at midnight, someone in your family will end up in Vancouver, WA.
7. If you want to keep vampires away, always wear a mini babybel cheese on a string around your smile.