Beauty Advice

If your skin is (adjective) or (adjective), you can cure this condition with the following care. Every morning, before washing your (noun), massage it gently with a/an (noun) that has been soaked overnight in a/an (container) full of warm (liquid). Then mix together some (a food) and some (a food) until the mixture becomes (adjective). Pat this onto your (adjective) complexion for five minutes. Then remove, using a/an (noun), and wash your face with (adjective) water. Do not omit this (adjective) step or your skin will become (adjective). Do this (adverb) every day and you will soon be as (adjective) as (name of person in room).

Heffalump said...
If your skin is meteoric or pain-inducing, you can cure this condition with the following care. Every morning, before washing your woolly mammoth, massage it gently with a synchronized swimmer that has been soaked overnight in a vat full of warm SOY SAUCE!. Then mix together some armadillo steak and some strawberry shortcake until the mixture becomes classically original. Pat this onto your brilliant complexion for five minutes. Then remove, using a rickshaw driver, and wash your face with smashing water. Do not omit this mind-boggling step or your skin will become effervescent. Do this shockingly every day and you will soon be as syncopated as Mary Poppins.

Millie said...
If your skin is frenetic or drooling, you can cure this condition with the following care. Every morning, before washing your armpit drip, massage it gently with a tossed cookie that has been soaked overnight in a tool box full of warm smear juice. Then mix together some strained pears and some fish paste until the mixture becomes butt-clenchingly unpleasant. Pat this onto your floppy disk tossing complexion for five minutes. Then remove, using an angry earwig, and wash your face with perpendicular water. Do not omit this contrary step or your skin will become blue. Do this MRSA-thwartingly every day and you will soon be as monkey-seeking as Puff the Impaled Harpoonist.