Christmas Poem 2009

'Twas the night before Christmas and all through the (noun)
Not a creature was stirring, not even a/an (noun).
The (plural noun) were tucked, all snug in their (plural noun),
While visions of (adjective) plums danced in their heads.
Then up on the (noun) there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my (noun) to see what was the matter.
It was St. Nicholas with his little (adjective) belly
That shook when he laughed like a bowl full of (plural noun).
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work
And filled all the (plural noun), then turned with a jerk,
And laying his (noun) aside of his nose,
And giving a nod, up the (noun) he rose.
And I heard him exclaim as he (verb, past tense) out of sight,
(Adjective) Christmas to all, and to all a good night!

Millie said...
'Twas the night before Christmas and all through the fat bubble
Not a creature was stirring, not even an Applebee's appetizer.
The South Pole elves were tucked, all snug in their sparkly opaque tights,
While visions of sporked until unrecognizable plums danced in their heads.
Then up on the son's girlfriend's mother there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my twig to see what was the matter.
It was St. Nicholas with his little printer cartridge huffing belly
That shook when he laughed like a bowl full of indecent manicures.
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work
And filled all the low-quality chocolates, then turned with a jerk,
And laying his weird traffic look giver aside of his nose,
And giving a nod, up the trunk monkey he rose.
And I heard him exclaim as he spanked out of sight,
"Putrescent Christmas to all, and to all a good night!"

Heffalump said...
'Twas the night before Christmas and all through the pushy shopper
Not a creature was stirring, not even a twinkle light.
The singing chipmunks were tucked, all snug in their appetizers,
While visions of sensational plums danced in their heads.
Then up on the caroler who sings off key there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my tofurky to see what was the matter.
It was St. Nicholas with his little pine scented belly
That shook when he laughed like a bowl full of snowflakes.
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work
And filled all the badly wrapped gifts, then turned with a jerk,
And laying his wassail aside of his nose,
And giving a nod, up the animatronic reindeer he rose.
And I heard him exclaim as he borrowed out of sight,
"Glowing Christmas to all, and to all a good night!"

Thorny Tree Lady said...
'Twas the night before Christmas and all through the Honeybaked Ham
Not a creature was stirring, not even a Crayola Crayon Maker.
The snarfblats were tucked, all snug in their birthday candles,
While visions of lazy plums danced in their heads.
Then up on the gravy boat there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my chocolate covered pretzel rod to see what was the matter.
It was St. Nicholas with his little, organized to the point of OCD belly
That shook when he laughed like a bowl full of depressed Broncos fans.
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work
And filled all the ballet shoes, then turned with a jerk,
And laying his clementine orange aside of his nose,
And giving a nod, up the ball point pen he rose.
And I heard him exclaim as he freaked out of sight,
"Walking on your hands Christmas to all, and to all a good night!"

Dave said...
'Twas the night before Christmas and all through the lemon mango scented hand sanitizer
Not a creature was stirring, not even a half empty can of Sierra Mist.
The two photos of devilishly cute boys were tucked, all snug in their iPod earbuds,
While visions of tacky plums danced in their heads.
Then up on the slightly brown avocado there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my Winnie the Pooh sweatshirt to see what was the matter.
It was St. Nicholas with his little mechanical belly
That shook when he laughed like a bowl full of sweet peppers.
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work
And filled all the non-working heater vents, then turned with a jerk,
And laying his trashcan aside of his nose,
And giving a nod, up the overly flatulent cubicle neighbor he rose.
And I heard him exclaim as he charged out of sight,
"Shamefully huge Christmas to all, and to all a good night!"

FluffyChicky said...
'Twas the night before Christmas and all through the Barry White
Not a creature was stirring, not even Willie the Operatic Whale.
The busty old women were tucked, all snug in their pitifully underweight Sumo wrestler wannabes,
While visions of cry-your-eyes-out-ugly plums danced in their heads.
Then up on the headcheese sandwich there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from Queen Elizabeth’s slightly moist hanky to see what was the matter.
It was St. Nicholas with his little flamboyant belly
That shook when he laughed like a bowl full of Orville Redenbacher impersonators.
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work
And filled all the flabby upper arms, then turned with a jerk,
And laying his push-up bra that works a little too well aside of his nose,
And giving a nod, up the wilted poinsettia he rose.
And I heard him exclaim as he passed out of sight,
"Gassy Christmas to all, and to all a good night!"

Klin said...
'Twas the night before Christmas and all through the presents 'round the tree
Not a creature was stirring, not even pumpkin spiced egg nog.
The excited children anxiously waiting were tucked, all snug in their favorite seasonal movies,
While visions of deliciously creamy plums danced in their heads.
Then up on the jolly round fella there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my dreams of a white Christmas to see what was the matter.
It was St. Nicholas with his little hung with care belly
That shook when he laughed like a bowl full of Christmas cards yet to be mailed.
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work
And filled all the Christmas lights, then turned with a jerk,
And laying his family Christmas party aside of his nose,
And giving a nod, up the Christmas Day he rose.
And I heard him exclaim as he had been out of sight,
"Pleasantly surprised Christmas to all, and to all a good night!"