Great School Excuses

Dear Physical Education Teacher,
Please excuse (name of person in room) from missing (adjective) class yesterday. When (person in room) awakened yesterday, I could see that his/her nose was (adjective). He/She also complained of (part of body) aches and having a sore (noun), and I took him/her to the family (noun). The doctor quickly diagnosed it to be the (number)-hour flu and suggested he/she take two (plural noun) with a glass of (type of liquid) and go to bed (adverb).

Dear Science Teacher,
Please excuse (name of person in room) for being late for your (adjective) science class. It's my fault. I feel (adjective). (same person) was up until the (adjective) hours of the morning completing his/her (adjective) project. Just as he/she was going out the (adjective) door, I noticed that his/her only pair of (plural noun) had a/an (noun) in them. It took me an hour to find my (plural noun) so I could see to (verb) the needle, enabling me to sew his/her (plural noun) back together.

Millie said...
Dear Physical Education Teacher,
Please excuse Paul of the Jungle from missing squirty class yesterday. When Paul awakened yesterday, I could see that his nose was gorilla-suit-wearing. He also complained of toe knuckle aches and having a sore drip, and I took him to the family crusty towel. The doctor quickly diagnosed it to be the 128723-hour flu and suggested he take two tent dwellers with a glass of cow slurp and go to bed gesticulatingly.

Dear Science Teacher,
Please excuse Stan Sitwell for being late for your awkward and unfortunate-looking science class. It's my fault. I feel like I drank from the fire hose. Stan was up until the unidentifiable hours of the morning completing his sharp project. Just as he was going out the stuck to itself with Krazy Glue door, I noticed that his only pair of gasps of surprise had an infected butt piercing in them. It took me an hour to find my eyelash crusties so I could see to explode the needle, enabling me to sew his Queen Elizabeth worshippers back together.

Heffalump said...
Dear Physical Education Teacher,
Please excuse Ryan from missing glistening class yesterday. When Ryan awakened yesterday, I could see that his nose was unpleasantly aromatic. He also complained of arm flab aches and having a sore crescent moon, and I took him to the family cow. The doctor quickly diagnosed it to be the 7.769-hour flu and suggested he take two Solid Gold dancers with a glass of grapefruit juice and go to bed unflinchingly.

Dear Science Teacher,
Please excuse Sharpay for being late for your hair growing science class. It's my fault. I feel covered in disco lights. Sharpay was up until the edgy hours of the morning completing her quivering like a bowl of jello in an earthquake project. Just as she was going out the raw in the middle door, I noticed that her only pair of baked potatoes had a castle moat in them. It took me an hour to find my cheese varieties so I could see to boogie the needle, enabling me to sew her planets back together.

Klin said...
Dear Physical Education Teacher,
Please excuse Sassy from missing hell-bound class yesterday. When Sassy awakened yesterday, I could see that her nose was daughtry looking. She also complained of sore throat aches and having a sore pea shooter, and I took her to the family little squirter. The doctor quickly diagnosed it to be the 24-hour flu and suggested she take two Benjamins with a glass of doggy pee pees and go to bed aboriginally.

Dear Science Teacher,
Please excuse Tree Monkey for being late for your exuberant science class. It's my fault. I feel abashed. Tree Monkey was up until the sickeningly handsome hours of the morning completing his icicle stabbing-head pounding project. Just as he was going out the deliciously adorable door, I noticed that his only pair of cheetah spots had a chubby cheeked boy in them. It took me an hour to find my so many different noises I can't think so I could see to profusely bleed on the needle, enabling me to sew his new backpacks back together.

FluffyChicky said...
Dear Physical Education Teacher,
Please excuse Melba Peachbottom, Homecoming Queen 1937, from missing hair-raising class yesterday. When Melba awakened yesterday, I could see that her nose was Teen Spirit smelly. She also complained of hairy-as-a-gorilla man boobs aches and having a sore crusty old sea captain with a broken peg leg, and I took her to the family shopping cart with one squeaky wheel. The doctor quickly diagnosed it to be the 849274092958743.1728312-hour flu and suggested she take two Elphaba impersonators who don’t need green makeup because they were just born that way with a glass of regurgitated diet coke and go to bed unhappily.

Dear Science Teacher,
Please excuse Dick Dickerson, who is wearing his favorite light puce dickey, for being late for your pig-headed science class. It's my fault. I feel bitter. Dick was up until the fat as a hippo with a glandular problem hours of the morning completing his squeezable project. Just as he was going out the decomposed door, I noticed that his only pair of electric girdles had Spongebob Squarepants boxer shorts in them. It took me an hour to find my senior citizens that hog all the good benches in the chapel so I could see to fart the needle, enabling me to sew his members of the People With Nasty Hobbit Feet Society back together.