Dear Physical Education Teacher,
Please excuse (name of person in room) from missing (adjective) class yesterday. When (person in room) awakened yesterday, I could see that his/her nose was (adjective). He/She also complained of (part of body) aches and having a sore (noun), and I took him/her to the family (noun). The doctor quickly diagnosed it to be the (number)-hour flu and suggested he/she take two (plural noun) with a glass of (type of liquid) and go to bed (adverb).
Dear Science Teacher,
Please excuse (name of person in room) for being late for your (adjective) science class. It's my fault. I feel (adjective). (same person) was up until the (adjective) hours of the morning completing his/her (adjective) project. Just as he/she was going out the (adjective) door, I noticed that his/her only pair of (plural noun) had a/an (noun) in them. It took me an hour to find my (plural noun) so I could see to (verb) the needle, enabling me to sew his/her (plural noun) back together.
Millie said...
Dear Physical Education Teacher,
Please excuse Paul of the Jungle from missing squirty class yesterday. When Paul awakened yesterday, I could see that his nose was gorilla-suit-wearing. He also complained of toe knuckle aches and having a sore drip, and I took him to the family crusty towel. The doctor quickly diagnosed it to be the 128723-hour flu and suggested he take two tent dwellers with a glass of cow slurp and go to bed gesticulatingly.
Dear Science Teacher,
Please excuse Stan Sitwell for being late for your awkward and unfortunate-looking science class. It's my fault. I feel like I drank from the fire hose. Stan was up until the unidentifiable hours of the morning completing his sharp project. Just as he was going out the stuck to itself with Krazy Glue door, I noticed that his only pair of gasps of surprise had an infected butt piercing in them. It took me an hour to find my eyelash crusties so I could see to explode the needle, enabling me to sew his Queen Elizabeth worshippers back together.
Heffalump said...
Dear Physical Education Teacher,
Please excuse Ryan from missing glistening class yesterday. When Ryan awakened yesterday, I could see that his nose was unpleasantly aromatic. He also complained of arm flab aches and having a sore crescent moon, and I took him to the family cow. The doctor quickly diagnosed it to be the 7.769-hour flu and suggested he take two Solid Gold dancers with a glass of grapefruit juice and go to bed unflinchingly.
Dear Science Teacher,
Please excuse Sharpay for being late for your hair growing science class. It's my fault. I feel covered in disco lights. Sharpay was up until the edgy hours of the morning completing her quivering like a bowl of jello in an earthquake project. Just as she was going out the raw in the middle door, I noticed that her only pair of baked potatoes had a castle moat in them. It took me an hour to find my cheese varieties so I could see to boogie the needle, enabling me to sew her planets back together.
Klin said...
Dear Physical Education Teacher,
Please excuse Sassy from missing hell-bound class yesterday. When Sassy awakened yesterday, I could see that her nose was daughtry looking. She also complained of sore throat aches and having a sore pea shooter, and I took her to the family little squirter. The doctor quickly diagnosed it to be the 24-hour flu and suggested she take two Benjamins with a glass of doggy pee pees and go to bed aboriginally.
Dear Science Teacher,
Please excuse Tree Monkey for being late for your exuberant science class. It's my fault. I feel abashed. Tree Monkey was up until the sickeningly handsome hours of the morning completing his icicle stabbing-head pounding project. Just as he was going out the deliciously adorable door, I noticed that his only pair of cheetah spots had a chubby cheeked boy in them. It took me an hour to find my so many different noises I can't think so I could see to profusely bleed on the needle, enabling me to sew his new backpacks back together.
FluffyChicky said...
Dear Physical Education Teacher,
Please excuse Melba Peachbottom, Homecoming Queen 1937, from missing hair-raising class yesterday. When Melba awakened yesterday, I could see that her nose was Teen Spirit smelly. She also complained of hairy-as-a-gorilla man boobs aches and having a sore crusty old sea captain with a broken peg leg, and I took her to the family shopping cart with one squeaky wheel. The doctor quickly diagnosed it to be the 849274092958743.1728312-hour flu and suggested she take two Elphaba impersonators who don’t need green makeup because they were just born that way with a glass of regurgitated diet coke and go to bed unhappily.
Dear Science Teacher,
Please excuse Dick Dickerson, who is wearing his favorite light puce dickey, for being late for your pig-headed science class. It's my fault. I feel bitter. Dick was up until the fat as a hippo with a glandular problem hours of the morning completing his squeezable project. Just as he was going out the decomposed door, I noticed that his only pair of electric girdles had Spongebob Squarepants boxer shorts in them. It took me an hour to find my senior citizens that hog all the good benches in the chapel so I could see to fart the needle, enabling me to sew his members of the People With Nasty Hobbit Feet Society back together.
Friday, September 25, 2009
Friday, September 18, 2009
The Observatory
Our class went on a field trip to a/an (adjective) observatory. It was located on top of a/an (noun), and it looked like a giant (noun) with a slit down its (noun). We went inside and looked through a/an (noun) and were able to see (plural noun) in the sky that were millions of (plural noun) away. The men and women who (verb) in the observatory are called (plural noun), and they are always watching for comets, eclipses, and shooting (plural noun). An eclipse occurs when a/an (noun) comes between the earth and the (noun) and everything gets (adjective). Next week, we plan to (verb) the Museum of Modern (noun).
Millie said...
Our class went on a field trip to a dump truck-totalling observatory. It was located on top of an inexperienced pole dancer who doesn't know what the pole is for, and it looked like a giant embezzler with a slit down its hairy love handle. We went inside and looked through an idiot blog stalker and were able to see pasty white thighs in the sky that were millions of cockfights away. The men and women who drool in the observatory are called bunny slippers, and they are always watching for comets, eclipses, and shooting chocolate-covered potato chips. An eclipse occurs when a cleavage peeker comes between the earth and Jim Swarthout's Doberman and everything gets smacked and embarrassed. Next week, we plan to browbeat the Museum of Modern remodeled garage.
Klin said...
Our class went on a field trip to a loud-mouthed observatory. It was located on top of a chunky monkey, and it looked like a giant Costa Vida heaven with a slit down its charity yard sale. We went inside and looked through more homework than I needed and were able to see how-did-I-get-all-these-cats thoughts in the sky that were millions of doggie poo-poos away. The men and women who yawn frequently in the observatory are called ultra heavy eyelids, and they are always watching for comets, eclipses, and shooting stupid politics. An eclipse occurs when a snot-nosed kid comes between the earth and the ultimate dirty car and everything gets delicioso. Next week, we plan to light the Museum of Modern thunder and lightning bolt.
Heffalump said...
Our class went on a field trip to a stunningly beautiful in a sparkly way observatory. It was located on top of Kermit the Frog, and it looked like a giant Seven Foot Tall Talking Carrot with a slit down its Carol Burnett. We went inside and looked through Julie Andrews and were able to see Muppets in the sky that were millions of Puppets away. The men and women who Stagger like someone drunk on life in the observatory are called Dancing Vegetables, and they are always watching for comets, eclipses, and shooting Singing Monsters. An eclipse occurs when Miss Piggy comes between the earth and John Denver and everything gets drool worthy. Next week, we plan to Sing in the Rain at the Museum of Modern Muppet Show Reunion.
FluffyChicky said...
Our class went on a field trip to a glow-in-the-dark observatory. It was located on top of that strange girl from 7th grade home room who had upper lip fuzz, a slight under-bite, eyebrows to rival Groucho Marx, and the unfortunate first name of Hortensia, and it looked like a giant expired cream of mushroom soup with a slit down its Queen Elizabeth’s polka dot patterned knickers. We went inside and looked through an official Red Ryder carbine-action 200-shot range model air rifle with a compass in the stock, and this thing which tells time, and were able to see ingrown toenails in the sky that were millions of albino Albanian women away. The men and women who obfuscate in the observatory are called armadillos, and they are always watching for comets, eclipses, and shooting previously licked Jell-O pudding pops. An eclipse occurs when Mrs. Potato Head comes between the earth and “dress like a drag queen” Thurday and everything gets flamboyant. Next week, we plan to prostrate the Museum of Modern Big Bad Bart the Bucking Buffalo.
Millie said...
Our class went on a field trip to a dump truck-totalling observatory. It was located on top of an inexperienced pole dancer who doesn't know what the pole is for, and it looked like a giant embezzler with a slit down its hairy love handle. We went inside and looked through an idiot blog stalker and were able to see pasty white thighs in the sky that were millions of cockfights away. The men and women who drool in the observatory are called bunny slippers, and they are always watching for comets, eclipses, and shooting chocolate-covered potato chips. An eclipse occurs when a cleavage peeker comes between the earth and Jim Swarthout's Doberman and everything gets smacked and embarrassed. Next week, we plan to browbeat the Museum of Modern remodeled garage.
Klin said...
Our class went on a field trip to a loud-mouthed observatory. It was located on top of a chunky monkey, and it looked like a giant Costa Vida heaven with a slit down its charity yard sale. We went inside and looked through more homework than I needed and were able to see how-did-I-get-all-these-cats thoughts in the sky that were millions of doggie poo-poos away. The men and women who yawn frequently in the observatory are called ultra heavy eyelids, and they are always watching for comets, eclipses, and shooting stupid politics. An eclipse occurs when a snot-nosed kid comes between the earth and the ultimate dirty car and everything gets delicioso. Next week, we plan to light the Museum of Modern thunder and lightning bolt.
Heffalump said...
Our class went on a field trip to a stunningly beautiful in a sparkly way observatory. It was located on top of Kermit the Frog, and it looked like a giant Seven Foot Tall Talking Carrot with a slit down its Carol Burnett. We went inside and looked through Julie Andrews and were able to see Muppets in the sky that were millions of Puppets away. The men and women who Stagger like someone drunk on life in the observatory are called Dancing Vegetables, and they are always watching for comets, eclipses, and shooting Singing Monsters. An eclipse occurs when Miss Piggy comes between the earth and John Denver and everything gets drool worthy. Next week, we plan to Sing in the Rain at the Museum of Modern Muppet Show Reunion.
FluffyChicky said...
Our class went on a field trip to a glow-in-the-dark observatory. It was located on top of that strange girl from 7th grade home room who had upper lip fuzz, a slight under-bite, eyebrows to rival Groucho Marx, and the unfortunate first name of Hortensia, and it looked like a giant expired cream of mushroom soup with a slit down its Queen Elizabeth’s polka dot patterned knickers. We went inside and looked through an official Red Ryder carbine-action 200-shot range model air rifle with a compass in the stock, and this thing which tells time, and were able to see ingrown toenails in the sky that were millions of albino Albanian women away. The men and women who obfuscate in the observatory are called armadillos, and they are always watching for comets, eclipses, and shooting previously licked Jell-O pudding pops. An eclipse occurs when Mrs. Potato Head comes between the earth and “dress like a drag queen” Thurday and everything gets flamboyant. Next week, we plan to prostrate the Museum of Modern Big Bad Bart the Bucking Buffalo.
Friday, September 11, 2009
The Constitution
The Constitution of the United States was adopted September 17, 1787.
Studying the Constitution is a/an (adjective) rainy day camp activity. In 1787, a convention of important American (plural noun) ratified our Constitution. The Constitution was a/an (adjective) document that guaranteed that the U.S. would not merely be a league of independent (plural noun), but a nation with a/an (adjective) government that would deal with (plural noun) as well as (plural noun). The Constitution provided for a senate, to which every state would send two (plural noun), and a larger body called the House of (plural noun), which was based on population. The government was divided into three branches: the judicial, the legislative, and the (adjective). This created a system of checks and (plural noun) that works to protect us to this day and gives us our (adjective) government of the people, for the people, and by the (plural noun).
Heffalump said...
Studying the Constitution is an argyle patterned rainy day camp activity. In 1787, a convention of important American Seven Dwarves ratified our Constitution. The Constitution was a devoid of the milk of human kindness document that guaranteed that the U.S. would not merely be a league of independent astronaut monkeys, but a nation with a baggy lipped government that would deal with pickpockets as well as waiters who wish they were actors. The Constitution provided for a senate, to which every state would send two fire hydrants, and a larger body called the House of Child Stars who left Disney behind to become total skanks, which was based on population. The government was divided into three branches: the judicial, the legislative, and the dripping with ooze. This created a system of checks and Borg Drones that works to protect us to this day and gives us our putrescent government of the people, for the people, and by the American Idol Rejects.
Millie said...
Studying the Constitution is a stiff drink-needing rainy day camp activity. In 1787, a convention of important American mystery dates ratified our Constitution. The Constitution was a crunchy document that guaranteed that the U.S. would not merely be a league of independent people who break chairs over other people's noses, but a nation with a stupefied by Weird Al government that would deal with hallucinogenic avocados as well as special brownies. The Constitution provided for a senate, to which every state would send two angry earwigs, and a larger body called the House of fishnet stockings, which was based on population. The government was divided into three branches: the judicial, the legislative, and the always a bridesmaid never a bride. This created a system of checks and toe smellers that works to protect us to this day and gives us our chicken waddle-obsessed government of the people, for the people, and by the sadistic ruler-wielding nuns.
Klin said...
Studying the Constitution is a whiny-pouty rainy day camp activity. In 1787, a convention of important American wet smelling dogs ratified our Constitution. The Constitution was a ridiculously repetitive document that guaranteed that the U.S. would not merely be a league of independent super dramatic tv shows, but a nation with a nutty cream government that would deal with piles and piles of folded clean bedding as well as beautiful children. The Constitution provided for a senate, to which every state would send two hot steamy showers, and a larger body called the House of pedicures, which was based on population. The government was divided into three branches: the judicial, the legislative, and the dingy brown. This created a system of checks and gazillion puzzle pieces that works to protect us to this day and gives us our dusty mite filled government of the people, for the people, and by the bags and bags of garbage.
Thorny Tree Lady said...
Studying the Constitution is a busier than a one-armed wallpaper hanger rainy day camp activity. In 1787, a convention of important American LA Dodger fans ratified our Constitution. The Constitution was a cheap as a two dollar whore document that guaranteed that the U.S. would not merely be a league of independent dental fillings, but a nation with a hypocritical as Obama's two speeches this week government that would deal with severed head Halloween decorations as well as Crayola Crayons. The Constitution provided for a senate, to which every state would send two bags of garbage, and a larger body called the House of hip-hop dancers, which was based on population. The government was divided into three branches: the judicial, the legislative, and the tangy. This created a system of checks and unusually happy emo kids that works to protect us to this day and gives us our easy-peasy lemon-squeezey government of the people, for the people, and by the no-bake cookies.
FluffyChicky said...
Studying the Constitution is a gargantuan rainy day camp activity. In 1787, a convention of important American Lee press-on nails ratified our Constitution. The Constitution was a goose-stepping document that guaranteed that the U.S. would not merely be a league of independent Cream Soda addicts, but a nation with a coma-inducing government that would deal with panty raiders as well as Cousin Herbie’s tap dancing pigeons. The Constitution provided for a senate, to which every state would send two synchronized pink moped driving teams, and a larger body called the House of members of the Adults Who Still Wet Their Beds But Secretly Like It Society, which was based on population. The government was divided into three branches: the judicial, the legislative, and the suspiciously seductive. This created a system of checks and flaming bags of dog poop that works to protect us to this day and gives us our poopy-smelling government of the people, for the people, and by the freaky freaks who like to get their freak on.
Studying the Constitution is a/an (adjective) rainy day camp activity. In 1787, a convention of important American (plural noun) ratified our Constitution. The Constitution was a/an (adjective) document that guaranteed that the U.S. would not merely be a league of independent (plural noun), but a nation with a/an (adjective) government that would deal with (plural noun) as well as (plural noun). The Constitution provided for a senate, to which every state would send two (plural noun), and a larger body called the House of (plural noun), which was based on population. The government was divided into three branches: the judicial, the legislative, and the (adjective). This created a system of checks and (plural noun) that works to protect us to this day and gives us our (adjective) government of the people, for the people, and by the (plural noun).
Heffalump said...
Studying the Constitution is an argyle patterned rainy day camp activity. In 1787, a convention of important American Seven Dwarves ratified our Constitution. The Constitution was a devoid of the milk of human kindness document that guaranteed that the U.S. would not merely be a league of independent astronaut monkeys, but a nation with a baggy lipped government that would deal with pickpockets as well as waiters who wish they were actors. The Constitution provided for a senate, to which every state would send two fire hydrants, and a larger body called the House of Child Stars who left Disney behind to become total skanks, which was based on population. The government was divided into three branches: the judicial, the legislative, and the dripping with ooze. This created a system of checks and Borg Drones that works to protect us to this day and gives us our putrescent government of the people, for the people, and by the American Idol Rejects.
Millie said...
Studying the Constitution is a stiff drink-needing rainy day camp activity. In 1787, a convention of important American mystery dates ratified our Constitution. The Constitution was a crunchy document that guaranteed that the U.S. would not merely be a league of independent people who break chairs over other people's noses, but a nation with a stupefied by Weird Al government that would deal with hallucinogenic avocados as well as special brownies. The Constitution provided for a senate, to which every state would send two angry earwigs, and a larger body called the House of fishnet stockings, which was based on population. The government was divided into three branches: the judicial, the legislative, and the always a bridesmaid never a bride. This created a system of checks and toe smellers that works to protect us to this day and gives us our chicken waddle-obsessed government of the people, for the people, and by the sadistic ruler-wielding nuns.
Klin said...
Studying the Constitution is a whiny-pouty rainy day camp activity. In 1787, a convention of important American wet smelling dogs ratified our Constitution. The Constitution was a ridiculously repetitive document that guaranteed that the U.S. would not merely be a league of independent super dramatic tv shows, but a nation with a nutty cream government that would deal with piles and piles of folded clean bedding as well as beautiful children. The Constitution provided for a senate, to which every state would send two hot steamy showers, and a larger body called the House of pedicures, which was based on population. The government was divided into three branches: the judicial, the legislative, and the dingy brown. This created a system of checks and gazillion puzzle pieces that works to protect us to this day and gives us our dusty mite filled government of the people, for the people, and by the bags and bags of garbage.
Thorny Tree Lady said...
Studying the Constitution is a busier than a one-armed wallpaper hanger rainy day camp activity. In 1787, a convention of important American LA Dodger fans ratified our Constitution. The Constitution was a cheap as a two dollar whore document that guaranteed that the U.S. would not merely be a league of independent dental fillings, but a nation with a hypocritical as Obama's two speeches this week government that would deal with severed head Halloween decorations as well as Crayola Crayons. The Constitution provided for a senate, to which every state would send two bags of garbage, and a larger body called the House of hip-hop dancers, which was based on population. The government was divided into three branches: the judicial, the legislative, and the tangy. This created a system of checks and unusually happy emo kids that works to protect us to this day and gives us our easy-peasy lemon-squeezey government of the people, for the people, and by the no-bake cookies.
FluffyChicky said...
Studying the Constitution is a gargantuan rainy day camp activity. In 1787, a convention of important American Lee press-on nails ratified our Constitution. The Constitution was a goose-stepping document that guaranteed that the U.S. would not merely be a league of independent Cream Soda addicts, but a nation with a coma-inducing government that would deal with panty raiders as well as Cousin Herbie’s tap dancing pigeons. The Constitution provided for a senate, to which every state would send two synchronized pink moped driving teams, and a larger body called the House of members of the Adults Who Still Wet Their Beds But Secretly Like It Society, which was based on population. The government was divided into three branches: the judicial, the legislative, and the suspiciously seductive. This created a system of checks and flaming bags of dog poop that works to protect us to this day and gives us our poopy-smelling government of the people, for the people, and by the freaky freaks who like to get their freak on.
Friday, September 4, 2009
A Visit to the Dentist
PATIENT: Thank you so very much for seeing me, Doctor (last name), on such (adjective) notice.
DENTIST: What is your problem, young (noun)?
PATIENT: I have a pain in my upper (noun) which is giving me a severe (part of body) ache.
DENTIST: Let me take a look. Open your (part of the body) wide. Good. Now I'm going to tap your (plural noun) with my (noun).
PATIENT: Shouldn't you give me a/an (noun) killer?
DENTIST: It's not necessary yet. (Exclamation)! I think I see a/an (noun) in your upper (noun).
PATIENT: Are you going to pull my (noun) out?
DENTIST: No. I'm going to (verb) your tooth and put in a temporary (noun).
PATIENT: When do I come back for the (adjective) filling?
DENTIST: A day after I cash your (noun).
Millie said...
PATIENT: Thank you so very much for seeing me, Doctor Vandendungenbille, on such triple-thumbed notice.
DENTIST: What is your problem, young wacky landlady?
PATIENT: I have a pain in my upper inexplicable hair growth which is giving me a severe scalp ache.
DENTIST: Let me take a look. Open your calf muscle wide. Good. Now I'm going to tap your Shrinky-Dink machines with my resentful nudist colony occupant.
PATIENT: Shouldn't you give me a cotton-ball head killer?
DENTIST: It's not necessary yet. SOY SAUCE! I think I see apricot ooze in your upper hamster nostril.
PATIENT: Are you going to pull my butt out?
DENTIST: No. I'm going to sky-write your tooth and put in a temporary hobo advocate.
PATIENT: When do I come back for the smell-noticing filling?
DENTIST: A day after I cash your milkshake that brings all the boys to the yard.
Heffalump said...
PATIENT: Thank you so very much for seeing me, Doctor Snively, on such brawny notice.
DENTIST: What is your problem, young Vatican?
PATIENT: I have a pain in my upper jet pack which is giving me a severe deviated septum ache.
DENTIST: Let me take a look. Open your coccyx wide. Good. Now I'm going to tap your Pointer Sisters with my overnight bag.
PATIENT: Shouldn't you give me a baked potato killer?
DENTIST: It's not necessary yet. Holy House of Horror Batman! I think I see Jack Palance in your upper toe jam.
PATIENT: Are you going to pull my boulder out?
DENTIST: No. I'm going to spin your tooth and put in a temporary fabulous group from the 70's called BREAD.
PATIENT: When do I come back for the petulant filling?
DENTIST: A day after I cash your nose goblin.
Klin said...
PATIENT: Thank you so very much for seeing me, Doctor Snicket, on such "very chatty I have so much to say that I might forget" fast-talking notice.
DENTIST: What is your problem, young not only steaming but also spicy hot chili?
PATIENT: I have a pain in my upper "can you turn down that ridiculous TV show" request which is giving me a severe sprained ankle ache.
DENTIST: Let me take a look. Open your broken fingernail wide. Good. Now I'm going to tap your overfilled garbage cans with my dried up dead lawn spot.
PATIENT: Shouldn't you give me a willy willy girl killer?
DENTIST: It's not necessary yet. Jumpin' Jehosephat! I think I see a marinated and barbequed pork chop in your upper tried and true recipe.
PATIENT: Are you going to pull my Tonka Truck out?
DENTIST: No. I'm going to stinky-breathe your tooth and put in a temporary scratched table.
PATIENT: When do I come back for the not very reverent after talks on reverence filling?
DENTIST: A day after I cash your child that sings a lot.
Thorny Tree Lady said...
PATIENT: Thank you so very much for seeing me, Doctor Obama, on such effervescent notice.
DENTIST: What is your problem, young Weird Al Yankovic album?
PATIENT: I have a pain in my upper High School Musical lunchbox which is giving me a severe uvula ache.
DENTIST: Let me take a look. Open your left ring finger wide. Good. Now I'm going to tap your angry monkeys with my cowboy hat.
PATIENT: Shouldn't you give me a Club Med resort killer?
DENTIST: It's not necessary yet. HOLY SCHNIKIES! I think I see a bottle full of stool softeners in your upper crazed Euro-Soccer fan riot.
PATIENT: Are you going to pull my bottle of "I'm Not Really a Waitress" Red nail polish out?
DENTIST: No. I'm going to shimmy your tooth and put in a temporary American Idol reject.
PATIENT: When do I come back for the clean as a Home Show Tour house filling?
DENTIST: A day after I cash your lying family member who fakes loving you so they appear to be nice to everyone else.
DENTIST: What is your problem, young (noun)?
PATIENT: I have a pain in my upper (noun) which is giving me a severe (part of body) ache.
DENTIST: Let me take a look. Open your (part of the body) wide. Good. Now I'm going to tap your (plural noun) with my (noun).
PATIENT: Shouldn't you give me a/an (noun) killer?
DENTIST: It's not necessary yet. (Exclamation)! I think I see a/an (noun) in your upper (noun).
PATIENT: Are you going to pull my (noun) out?
DENTIST: No. I'm going to (verb) your tooth and put in a temporary (noun).
PATIENT: When do I come back for the (adjective) filling?
DENTIST: A day after I cash your (noun).
Millie said...
PATIENT: Thank you so very much for seeing me, Doctor Vandendungenbille, on such triple-thumbed notice.
DENTIST: What is your problem, young wacky landlady?
PATIENT: I have a pain in my upper inexplicable hair growth which is giving me a severe scalp ache.
DENTIST: Let me take a look. Open your calf muscle wide. Good. Now I'm going to tap your Shrinky-Dink machines with my resentful nudist colony occupant.
PATIENT: Shouldn't you give me a cotton-ball head killer?
DENTIST: It's not necessary yet. SOY SAUCE! I think I see apricot ooze in your upper hamster nostril.
PATIENT: Are you going to pull my butt out?
DENTIST: No. I'm going to sky-write your tooth and put in a temporary hobo advocate.
PATIENT: When do I come back for the smell-noticing filling?
DENTIST: A day after I cash your milkshake that brings all the boys to the yard.
Heffalump said...
PATIENT: Thank you so very much for seeing me, Doctor Snively, on such brawny notice.
DENTIST: What is your problem, young Vatican?
PATIENT: I have a pain in my upper jet pack which is giving me a severe deviated septum ache.
DENTIST: Let me take a look. Open your coccyx wide. Good. Now I'm going to tap your Pointer Sisters with my overnight bag.
PATIENT: Shouldn't you give me a baked potato killer?
DENTIST: It's not necessary yet. Holy House of Horror Batman! I think I see Jack Palance in your upper toe jam.
PATIENT: Are you going to pull my boulder out?
DENTIST: No. I'm going to spin your tooth and put in a temporary fabulous group from the 70's called BREAD.
PATIENT: When do I come back for the petulant filling?
DENTIST: A day after I cash your nose goblin.
Klin said...
PATIENT: Thank you so very much for seeing me, Doctor Snicket, on such "very chatty I have so much to say that I might forget" fast-talking notice.
DENTIST: What is your problem, young not only steaming but also spicy hot chili?
PATIENT: I have a pain in my upper "can you turn down that ridiculous TV show" request which is giving me a severe sprained ankle ache.
DENTIST: Let me take a look. Open your broken fingernail wide. Good. Now I'm going to tap your overfilled garbage cans with my dried up dead lawn spot.
PATIENT: Shouldn't you give me a willy willy girl killer?
DENTIST: It's not necessary yet. Jumpin' Jehosephat! I think I see a marinated and barbequed pork chop in your upper tried and true recipe.
PATIENT: Are you going to pull my Tonka Truck out?
DENTIST: No. I'm going to stinky-breathe your tooth and put in a temporary scratched table.
PATIENT: When do I come back for the not very reverent after talks on reverence filling?
DENTIST: A day after I cash your child that sings a lot.
Thorny Tree Lady said...
PATIENT: Thank you so very much for seeing me, Doctor Obama, on such effervescent notice.
DENTIST: What is your problem, young Weird Al Yankovic album?
PATIENT: I have a pain in my upper High School Musical lunchbox which is giving me a severe uvula ache.
DENTIST: Let me take a look. Open your left ring finger wide. Good. Now I'm going to tap your angry monkeys with my cowboy hat.
PATIENT: Shouldn't you give me a Club Med resort killer?
DENTIST: It's not necessary yet. HOLY SCHNIKIES! I think I see a bottle full of stool softeners in your upper crazed Euro-Soccer fan riot.
PATIENT: Are you going to pull my bottle of "I'm Not Really a Waitress" Red nail polish out?
DENTIST: No. I'm going to shimmy your tooth and put in a temporary American Idol reject.
PATIENT: When do I come back for the clean as a Home Show Tour house filling?
DENTIST: A day after I cash your lying family member who fakes loving you so they appear to be nice to everyone else.
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