Little Red Riding Hood

One day, Little (color) Riding Hood was going through the forest carrying a basket of (plural noun) for her grandmother. Suddenly, she met a big (adjective) wolf. "(Exclamation)!" said the wolf. "Where are you going, little (silly word)?" "I'm going to my grandmother's house," she said. Then the wolf (verb, past tense) away. When Miss Riding Hood got to her grandmother's house, the wolf was in bed dressed like her grandmother. "My, Grandmother," she said, "what big (plural noun) you have." "The better to (verb) you with," said the wolf. "And Grandmother," she said, "what big (plural noun) you have." The wolf said, "The better to (verb) you with." And then she said, "What big (plural noun) you have, Grandmother." But the wolf said nothing. He had just died of indigestion from eating Grandmother.

Thorny Tree Lady said...
One day, Little Puce Riding Hood was going through the forest carrying a basket of strawberry flavored creme wafers for her grandmother. Suddenly, she met a big completely ape-crap wolf. "Don't call me Shirley!" said the wolf. "Where are you going, little dang-flabbit?" "I'm going to my grandmother's house," she said. Then the wolf partied like it was 1999 away. When Miss Riding Hood got to her grandmother's house, the wolf was in bed dressed like her grandmother. "My, Grandmother," she said, "what big bouncing and spinning lotto number balls you have." "The better to hand-quilt you with," said the wolf. "And Grandmother," she said, "what big Spring Break "Girls Gone Wild" hopefuls you have." The wolf said, "The better to rage against the machine you with." And then she said, "What big soft pretzels covered in yellow mustard you have, Grandmother." But the wolf said nothing. He had just died of indigestion from eating Grandmother.

Millie said...
One day, Little Clear Riding Hood was going through the forest carrying a basket of bratty next door neighbor children for her grandmother. Suddenly, she met a big on-maternity-leave wolf. "Ya JACKASS!" said the wolf. "Where are you going, little Flaboobity?" "I'm going to my grandmother's house," she said. Then the wolf smacked with a bat away. When Miss Riding Hood got to her grandmother's house, the wolf was in bed dressed like her grandmother. "My, Grandmother," she said, "what big uneven chestages you have." "The better to wipe you with," said the wolf. "And Grandmother," she said, "what big slug antennae you have." The wolf said, "The better to stomp you with." And then she said, "What big chowchows you have, Grandmother." But the wolf said nothing. He had just died of indigestion from eating Grandmother.

Klin said...
One day, Little Fuschia Riding Hood was going through the forest carrying a basket of mounds of tennis balls for her grandmother. Suddenly, she met a big obnoxiously in my face wolf. "Holy Banana Cakes!" said the wolf. "Where are you going, little Schumananogle?" "I'm going to my grandmother's house," she said. Then the wolf sweated like a pig away. When Miss Riding Hood got to her grandmother's house, the wolf was in bed dressed like her grandmother. "My, Grandmother," she said, "what big noisy cabinet installers you have." "The better to entirely exhaust you with," said the wolf. "And Grandmother," she said, "what big dishes going everywhere you have." The wolf said, "The better to laze you with." And then she said, "What big too many things you have, Grandmother." But the wolf said nothing. He had just died of indigestion from eating Grandmother.

Mrs. Organic said...
One day, Little Boot Black Riding Hood was going through the forest carrying a basket of flip-flops for her grandmother. Suddenly, she met a big scuzzy wolf. "Oh snap!" said the wolf. "Where are you going, little googly moogly?" "I'm going to my grandmother's house," she said. Then the wolf barfed away. When Miss Riding Hood got to her grandmother's house, the wolf was in bed dressed like her grandmother. "My, Grandmother," she said, "what big canning jars you have." "The better to shovel you with," said the wolf. "And Grandmother," she said, "what big make-outs you have." The wolf said, "The better to hop you with." And then she said, "What big overalls you have, Grandmother." But the wolf said nothing. He had just died of indigestion from eating Grandmother.