How Can I Tell If He Likes Me?

If he exhibits three or more of the following (plural noun), you may (adverb) assume you are the (a fruit) of his eye.

1) When you look him straight in the (part of body), does he overt his (plural noun) and give you an uncomfortable (noun)?
2) If you compliment him, does his (noun) turn a bright (color)?
3) After you first met, did he call a mutual (noun) to see if you were (verb ending in ING) steady?
4) When you were alone for the first time, did he try to put his (part of body) around you? Did you find his (plural noun) wet and clammy and did he sweat and (verb) excessively?
5) After a passionate date, does he (verb) you on the phone or write you a/an (noun) or better yet, send you a bouquet of (plural noun)?

If he did three or more of the above, you can bet your last (noun) he has the (plural noun) for you.

Klin said...
If he exhibits three or more of the following taller than heaven buildings, you may vivaciously assume you are the kiwi of his eye.

1) When you look him straight in the ear canal, does he overt his six finished bedrooms and give you an uncomfortable stinky dog?
2) If you compliment him, does his freshly clean litter box turn a bright chartreuse?
3) After you first met, did he call a mutual child taking to Nintendo DS game to see if you were painting steady?
4) When you were alone for the first time, did he try to put his optic nerve around you? Did you find his ridiculous amount of bins storing Christmas deco wet and clammy and did he sweat and sleep excessively?
5) After a passionate date, does he act anxious on the phone or write you a missed nativity scene or better yet, send you a bouquet of covered in white paint girls?

If he did three or more of the above, you can bet your last crazy movie he has the bins of cut up veggies for you.

Becky said...
If he exhibits three or more of the following barking spiders, you may cunningly assume you are the passion fruit of his eye.

1) When you look him straight in the toenail, does he overt his empty floral kleenex boxes and give you an uncomfortable gold spray can?
2) If you compliment him, does his retro-striped curtain panel turn a bright magenta?
3) After you first met, did he call a mutual roof shingle to see if you were swimming steady?
4) When you were alone for the first time, did he try to put his nostril around you? Did you find his mismatched picture frames wet and clammy and did he sweat and sit excessively?
5) After a passionate date, does he hum to you on the phone or write you a bathtub ring or better yet, send you a bouquet of chewed on pen caps?

If he did three or more of the above, you can bet your last past-due electric bill he has the dusty curtains for you.

Thorny Tree Lady said...
If he exhibits three or more of the following greasy grimy gopher guts, you may stealthily assume you are the mango of his eye.

1) When you look him straight in the uvula, does he overt his flying purple people eaters and give you an uncomfortable Lucky Charms marshmallow?
2) If you compliment him, does his hairbow as big as a kid's head turn a bright indigo?
3) After you first met, did he call a mutual pair of trifocals to see if you were sulking steady?
4) When you were alone for the first time, did he try to put his ovary around you? Did you find his Bon Jovi groupies still living in the 80's wet and clammy and did he sweat and nit-pick excessively?
5) After a passionate date, does he overreact to you on the phone or write you a piece of popcorn kernal skin that's stuck between your teeth or better yet, send you a bouquet of sleep deprived parents of a newborn?

If he did three or more of the above, you can bet your last overdue library book he has the Miley Cyrus wannabees for you.