New Year's Resolutions

1. I, (name of person in room), will (verb) every day at the gym for at least (number) minutes.
2. At the dinner table, I will eat only (number) servings of (noun).
3. I will watch only (adjective) television shows.
4. I will tell (name of person in room) that I think he/she is a/an (adjective) (noun).
5. I will ask my boss for a/an (number)-dollar raise.
6. I will admit that I have a/an (adjective) personality.
7. I will take my (noun) to (noun) at least once a month.
8. I will (verb) one book every (number) weeks.
9. I will try to lose at least (number) pounds.
10. I will return the (adjective) (plural noun) I borrowed from (person in room).
11. I will get on a (noun) and only spend (number) dollars a month.

Natalie & Melanie said...
1. I, Chicken-Headed Chuck, will streak every day at the gym for at least 78 minutes.
2. At the dinner table, I will eat only 128432 servings of stripping three-year-old.
3. I will watch only skanky and hideous television shows.
4. I will tell Drop-Kicked Drusilla that I think she is an overwhelmingly belchy monkey gnocchi.
5. I will ask my boss for a 9-dollar raise.
6. I will admit that I have a knuckle tweezing personality.
7. I will take my tot potty that needs fumigating to buns blister juice at least once a month.
8. I will spank one book every 23 weeks.
9. I will try to lose at least 97234 pounds.
10. I will return the stuffed with grapes nevernudes I borrowed from Edward Scissorhands.
11. I will get on a lingerie party name tag and only spend 0.2348 dollars a month.

Klin said...
1. I, Monkey Wrench, will complain about dishes every day at the gym for at least 1minute.
2. At the dinner table, I will eat only 3 servings of whiny sounding meow.
3. I will watch only so frozen you can do a donut on it television shows.
4. I will tell Tree Monkey that I think he is a toasty warm aggravating "can I go" son.
5. I will ask my boss for a 5-dollar raise.
6. I will admit that I have a finally clean personality.
7. I will take my "I need to snuggle with you" daughter to the taking over and getting it done daughter at least once a month.
8. I will trash haul one book every 7 weeks.
9. I will try to lose at least 11 pounds.
10. I will return the soothing and relaxing friends I borrowed from Mini Me.
11. I will get on a softly snoring husband and only spend 13 dollars a month.

Thorny Tree Lady said...
1. I, Dora the Explorer, will slither every day at the gym for at least 4 minutes.
2. At the dinner table, I will eat only 8 servings of strawberry jam.
3. I will watch only unruly television shows.
4. I will tell Bob Eubanks that I think he is a stomach acid-inducing Hawaiian Punch.
5. I will ask my boss for a 15-dollar raise.
6. I will admit that I have a stubborn personality.
7. I will take my Donny and Marie fan to a Tournament of Roses Parade float at least once a month.
8. I will moan at one book every 16 weeks.
9. I will try to lose at least 23 pounds.
10. I will return the filthy cotton dish towels I borrowed from Regina Philange.
11. I will get on a cup of cold hot cocoa and only spend 42 dollars a month.