Dramatic Scene Entitled "The Happy Moment"

In honor of Thorny Tree Lady's great news

WOMAN: Darling, I have something (adjective) to tell you.
MAN: Did you wreck the (noun) again?
WOMAN: No. I went to the doctor's. He says I am going to have a little (noun).
MAN: (Loud exclamation)! Sweetheart, that's (adjective) news. Here, sit down on this (noun). You must take the weight off your (plural noun).
WOMAN: He said I was in (adjective) health. He measured my (noun) and took a sample of my (a liquid).
MAN: Gee, I wonder if it'll be a boy or a/an (noun).
WOMAN: Personally, I hope it'll be a/an (noun). Then we can name it after your (noun).
MAN: I can hardly believe it. Just think, in (a number) months I'll be a/an (noun).

Thorny Tree Lady said...
WOMAN: Darling, I have something delicious to tell you.
MAN: Did you wreck the standing fan again?
WOMAN: No. I went to the doctor's. He says I am going to have a little rainy day.
MAN: Sha-ZAAAAMMMM! Sweetheart, that's serpentine news. Here, sit down on this questioning 4-year-old. You must take the weight off your washed-up rock stars trying to revive their careers by participating on reality programs on obscure cable channels.
WOMAN: He said I was in articulate health. He measured my aggavating hangnail and took a sample of my baby formula.
MAN: Gee, I wonder if it'll be a boy or a houseguest who's overstayed her welcome.
WOMAN: Personally, I hope it'll be a 15 month old baby who's amazed at her own reflection in the mirror. Then we can name it after your mini-Cooper that drives through the neighborhood 10 miles over the speed limit.
MAN: I can hardly believe it. Just think, in 8,675,309 months I'll be an unsupportive bra with no elastic.

Klin said...
WOMAN: Darling, I have something ratted-hair to tell you.
MAN: Did you wreck the melt-in-your-mouth-meatloaf again?
WOMAN: No. I went to the doctor's. He says I am going to have a little Ginormous-hundred-acre wood.
MAN: SI-LENCE! Sweetheart, that's ginormous news. Here, sit down on this ratted-hair-that-looks-like-a-football-helmet. You must take the weight off your super-smelly-cleats.
WOMAN: He said I was in creamy health. He measured my pouring rain and took a sample of my melted ice cream.
MAN: Gee, I wonder if it'll be a boy or a very loud stereo.
WOMAN: Personally, I hope it'll be a vacuum. Then we can name it after your muddy puddle.
MAN: I can hardly believe it. Just think, in 1279 months I'll be a screaming kid in the car wash.

Suzanne said...
WOMAN: Darling, I have something red to tell you.
MAN: Did you wreck the head again?
WOMAN: No. I went to the doctor's. He says I am going to have a little shoulder.
MAN: Holy Heck! Sweetheart, that's yellow news. Here, sit down on this knee. You must take the weight off your fancy cheeses.
WOMAN: He said I was in blue health. He measured my toes and took a sample of my Koolaid.
MAN: Gee, I wonder if it'll be a boy or an eye.
WOMAN: Personally, I hope it'll be an ear. Then we can name it after your mouth.
MAN: I can hardly believe it. Just think, in 34 months I'll be a nose.

Tori:) said...
WOMAN: Darling, I have something spiky to tell you.
MAN: Did you wreck the arm hair again?
WOMAN: No. I went to the doctor's. He says I am going to have a little toaster.
MAN: CRAP!!!! Sweetheart, that's spunky news. Here, sit down on this magnet. You must take the weight off your dandruff flakes.
WOMAN: He said I was in spazzy health. He measured my $2 bill and took a sample of my Diet Dr. Pepper.
MAN: Gee, I wonder if it'll be a boy or an apron.
WOMAN: Personally, I hope it'll be a swing set. Then we can name it after your contact lens.
MAN: I can hardly believe it. Just think, in 9 months I'll be a snake skin.

Natalie said...
WOMAN: Darling, I have something completely irritating to tell you.
MAN: Did you wreck the earlobe hair again?
WOMAN: No. I went to the doctor's. He says I am going to have a little freak of nature.
MAN: Why can't you hold still a minute! Sweetheart, that's black cherry-scented news. Here, sit down on this fan blade. You must take the weight off your scalp dents.
WOMAN: He said I was in crying because I can't sleep on the floor health. He measured my Hannah Montana protester and took a sample of my drool.
MAN: Gee, I wonder if it'll be a boy or chocolate milk residue.
WOMAN: Personally, I hope it'll be a buttock dimple. Then we can name it after your cow about to give birth.
MAN: I can hardly believe it. Just think, in 129847 months I'll be a snot bubble.

Wynne said...
WOMAN: Darling, I have something clumpy to tell you.
MAN: Did you wreck the armadillo again?
WOMAN: No. I went to the doctor's. He says I am going to have a little garbage truck.
MAN: By the power of Grayskull! Sweetheart, that's marvelous news. Here, sit down on this toe jam. You must take the weight off your worms.
WOMAN: He said I was in fish-like health. He measured my fire station and took a sample of my pickle juice.
MAN: Gee, I wonder if it'll be a boy or a split end.
WOMAN: Personally, I hope it'll be Gay Pride. Then we can name it after your Zion.
MAN: I can hardly believe it. Just think, in 1/4 months I'll be a Macarena.

Dalene said...
WOMAN: Darling, I have something greasy to tell you.
MAN: Did you wreck the monkey wrench again?
WOMAN: No. I went to the doctor's. He says I am going to have a little carbuncle.
MAN: Oy vey! Sweetheart, that's cheesy news. Here, sit down on this dust bunny. You must take the weight off your pick-up sticks.
WOMAN: He said I was in sketchy health. He measured my snood and took a sample of my molten lava.
MAN: Gee, I wonder if it'll be a boy or a hanging chad.
WOMAN: Personally, I hope it'll be a Sprite bottle. Then we can name it after your rain gutter.
MAN: I can hardly believe it. Just think, in 3.652 months I'll be a sea urchin.