Dear (name of man in room),
I am in love with your (adjective) daughter (first name of woman in room) and I would like to ask for her (noun) in marriage. She is my idea of a perfect (noun). She is the only (noun) I have ever loved and I want her to be the mother of my (plural noun). At present I am employed as an assistant (noun) and I make a (adjective) salary of (number) dollars a week. I have a split-level (noun) picked out in (geographical location) that we can live in. If you give your permission, I promise to make her (adjective) and to be a (adjective) (noun).
Signed: (Name of man in room)
Mad Lib Monger said…
Dear Henry Hemorrhoid,
I am in love with your flatulent and embarrassed daughter Spoon-spanked Spigella and I would like to ask for her jingling vacuum bag in marriage. She is my idea of a perfect beer bottle sniffer. She is the only duck on a string I have ever loved and I want her to be the mother of my ten-pounders. At present I am employed as an assistant wide load and I make an eye crunch-sporting salary of 238492 dollars a week. I have a split-level crocheted bikini picked out in Rentown, USA that we can live in. If you give your permission, I promise to make her Elvis-impersonating and to be an alive for the next ten minutes gummy bear.
Signed: Fishpaste Frank
Suzanne said…
Dear John McCain,
I am in love with your wiley daughter Hilary and I would like to ask for her Delaware in marriage. She is my idea of a perfect Montana. She is the only Florida I have ever loved and I want her to be the mother of my hanging chads. At present I am employed as an assistant Washington and I make a charismatic salary of 62 dollars a week. I have a split-level Texas picked out in Washington, DC that we can live in. If you give your permission, I promise to make her vocal and to be a pushy Utah.
Signed: Barack Obama
Rachael said…
Dear John Jacob Jingleheimer Smith,
I am in love with your raunchy daughter Pam and I would like to ask for her 50-year-old tin can in marriage. She is my idea of a perfect “liquid” from the bottom of the trashcan. She is the only toenail clipping I have ever loved and I want her to be the mother of my leftover sloppy joes. At present I am employed as an assistant banana that has been mashed into the carpet and I make an encrusted salary of 7 meeellion dollars a week. I have a split-level booger picked out in The Small of Burt Reynold’s Back that we can live in. If you give your permission, I promise to make her green with purple polka dots and to be a checkered ingrown hair.
Signed: Bert
Thorny Tree Lady said…
Dear Hoarace McGillicutty,
I am in love with your quaint daughter Lavicka and I would like to ask for her recipe box in marriage. She is my idea of a perfect glitter. She is the only orange popsicle I have ever loved and I want her to be the mother of my jaters. At present I am employed as an assistant antique quilt and I make a magenta salary of 1,234 dollars a week. I have a split-level NoDoz tablet picked out in The Dark Side of the Moon that we can live in. If you give your permission, I promise to make her articulate and to be an allergy-ridden barfed-on bedsheet.
Signed: Ringo Starr
Coconut Kate said…
Dear Dana Carvey,
I am in love with your sticky daughter Gertrude and I would like to ask for her funnel in marriage. She is my idea of a perfect lawn. She is the only hat I have ever loved and I want her to be the mother of my envelopes. At present I am employed as an assistant pocket and I make a blue salary of 87 dollars a week. I have a split-level muskrat picked out on top of that hill yonder that we can live in. If you give your permission, I promise to make her slippery and to be a murky coconut bra.
Signed: Keanu Reeves
Compulsive Writer said…
Dear Jack Black,
I am in love with your plucky daughter Penelope and I would like to ask for her grubworm in marriage. She is my idea of a perfect twister. She is the only toe ring I have ever loved and I want her to be the mother of my nematodes. At present I am employed as an assistant flux capacitor and I make a pernicious salary of 2.567 dollars a week. I have a split-level wing-back chair picked out under a bed somewhere in midtown Manhattan that we can live in. If you give your permission, I promise to make her pedantic and to be an predatory brick wall.
Signed: Stephie Colbert
Klin said…
Dear Nicholas Cage,
I am in love with your sexy daughter Renae and I would like to ask for her lazy old horse in marriage. She is my idea of a perfect hyperactive and very talkative girl. She is the only whispering wind I have ever loved and I want her to be the mother of my musical wind chimes. At present I am employed as an assistant serene afternoon and I make an adorable salary of 187 dollars a week. I have a split-level sparkling firecracker picked out in Jolley’s Ranch that we can live in. If you give your permission, I promise to make her steamy and to be a luscious thunderous storm.
Signed: Clark Gable
O. Honey said…
Dear Jason Bateman,
I am in love with your unappetizing daughter Complete Dipwad and I would like to ask for her fishlips in marriage. She is my idea of a perfect newly hatched pterodactyl. She is the only swarm of locusts I have ever loved and I want her to be the mother of my Pretty Patties. At present I am employed as an assistant Dyno-bite and I make a laughs-like-a-dork salary of 238,473,592,341 dollars a week. I have a split-level insane Pee-Wee Herman fan picked out in a pineapple under the sea that we can live in. If you give your permission, I promise to make her sequinned and to be a crud-covered constant fanner.
Signed: Luka on ER
Sunday, June 8, 2008
Sunday, June 1, 2008
Smoking Cigarettes
Medical science has discovered that smoking cigarettes causes (type of disease). It is also bad for your (noun) and causes pains in the (part of the body). When mice and dogs were exposed to (adjective) cigarette smoke, they developed (person in room)’s disease. Tobacco companies have put charcoal (plural noun) on the ends of cigarettes, but they still spend millions of (plural noun) advertising their (nasty adjective) product. If you smoke cigarettes, the tobacco will leave all kinds of tar and (plural noun) in your lungs. This will make you cough and say, “(exclamation)!” Don’t smoke cigarettes. Remember, only (plural noun) smoke.
Sketchy said…
Medical science has discovered that smoking cigarettes causes toenail fungi. It is also bad for your human beatbox instruction blog and causes pains in the weird cracked callous on the back of my heel. When mice and dogs were exposed to unnavigatably cluttery cigarette smoke, they developed Nightstar the cat’s disease. Tobacco companies have put charcoal nonworking ballpoint pens that just keep getting stuck back in the drawer just in case they write next time on the ends of cigarettes, but they still spend millions of stacks of video games that will never be replayed but must be kept, why? Just in case - advertising their “This basement is a mess!” product. If you smoke cigarettes, the tobacco will leave all kinds of tar and unfinished projects in the basement in your lungs. This will make you cough and say, “Why do we have all this crap!” Don’t smoke cigarettes. Remember, only Costco size packs of toilet paper because you forgot you already had plenty and you got some just in case…twice… smoke.
Suzanne said…
Medical science has discovered that smoking cigarettes causes measles. It is also bad for your polka dot and causes pains in the armpit. When mice and dogs were exposed to red cigarette smoke, they developed Santa Claus’ disease. Tobacco companies have put charcoal bandaids on the ends of cigarettes, but they still spend millions of hiccups advertising their sticky product. If you smoke cigarettes, the tobacco will leave all kinds of tar and turtles in your lungs. This will make you cough and say, “Hallelujah!” Don’t smoke cigarettes. Remember, only ladybugs smoke.
Rachael said…
Medical science has discovered that smoking cigarettes causes foot in mouth disease. It is also bad for your melted crayon on the carpet and causes pains in the ingrown toenail. When mice and dogs were exposed to gangrene covered cigarette smoke, they developed Boogeyman’s disease. Tobacco companies have put charcoal tonsils on the ends of cigarettes, but they still spend millions of old ladies who can’t see while driving cars advertising their moldy product. If you smoke cigarettes, the tobacco will leave all kinds of tar and geese in your lungs. This will make you cough and say, “Aye Carumba!” Don’t smoke cigarettes. Remember, only all y’all’s moms smoke.
Jean Knee said…
Medical science has discovered that smoking cigarettes causes gangrene. It is also bad for your biggest green booger and causes pains in the armpit. When mice and dogs were exposed to exceedingly funky smelling cigarette smoke, they developed Crazy Tom Cruise’s disease. Tobacco companies have put charcoal garbanzo beans on the ends of cigarettes, but they still spend millions of fried chickens advertising their oozing product. If you smoke cigarettes, the tobacco will leave all kinds of tar and fermented apricots in your lungs. This will make you cough and say, “Crap!” Don’t smoke cigarettes. Remember, only tae kown do champions smoke.
ThornyTreeLady said…
Medical science has discovered that smoking cigarettes causes Jumping Frenchman of Maine Disorder. It is also bad for your Pokemon “PsyudoWoodo” Doll and causes pains in the uvula. When mice and dogs were exposed to inconsequential cigarette smoke, they developed Nicholas Cage’s disease. Tobacco companies have put charcoal Nikon cameras on the ends of cigarettes, but they still spend millions of Comic Con attendees advertising their uncongenial product. If you smoke cigarettes, the tobacco will leave all kinds of tar and Beach Boys tribute bands in your lungs. This will make you cough and say, “Holy Schnikies!” Don’t smoke cigarettes. Remember, only powerless batteries smoke.
Powerhouse said…
Medical science has discovered that smoking cigarettes causes cancer. It is also bad for your Pikachu and causes pains in the collar bone. When mice and dogs were exposed to stinky cigarette smoke, they developed my best friend Sam’s disease. Tobacco companies have put charcoal pens on the ends of cigarettes, but they still spend millions of campfires advertising their gross product. If you smoke cigarettes, the tobacco will leave all kinds of tar and zombies in your lungs. This will make you cough and say, “Holy Crap!” Don’t smoke cigarettes. Remember, only cute babies smoke.
Klin said…
Medical science has discovered that smoking cigarettes causes psoriasis. It is also bad for your Country Time Lemonade and causes pains in the skin tag hangy down thingy. When mice and dogs were exposed to foamy cigarette smoke, they developed Klin’s disease. Tobacco companies have put charcoal half-melted candles on the ends of cigarettes, but they still spend millions of worn-out flip flops advertising their mucusy product. If you smoke cigarettes, the tobacco will leave all kinds of tar and ridiculous movies in your lungs. This will make you cough and say, “What the Peaches and Cream!” Don’t smoke cigarettes. Remember, only smelly boy shoes smoke.
Elasticwaistbandlady said…
Medical science has discovered that smoking cigarettes causes chronic crusty crotch rot. It is also bad for your Kelly Ripa voodoo doll and causes pains in the big fibbin fibber fibula. When mice and dogs were exposed to peeling like Chinese chef Pee-Ling cigarette smoke, they developed Engelbert Humperdinck And His Lips Of Wrath’s disease. Tobacco companies have put charcoal expired tubes of lube on the ends of cigarettes, but they still spend millions of giant bazonga chimichangas advertising their greasier than Greasy Bob’s greasy back product. If you smoke cigarettes, the tobacco will leave all kinds of tar and Wrinkly Chuck’s nunchucks in your lungs. This will make you cough and say, “I can’t believe I ate the whole thing!” Don’t smoke cigarettes. Remember, only Miss Haversham’s Spiderweb Cakes smoke.
Tori said…
Medical science has discovered that smoking cigarettes causes herpes. It is also bad for your ice and causes pains in the armpit. When mice and dogs were exposed to hairy cigarette smoke, they developed Tori’s disease. Tobacco companies have put charcoal cats on the ends of cigarettes, but they still spend millions of floors advertising their rotting product. If you smoke cigarettes, the tobacco will leave all kinds of tar and cactuses in your lungs. This will make you cough and say, “Holy Crap!” Don’t smoke cigarettes. Remember, only speakers smoke.
Mindyluwho said…
Medical science has discovered that smoking cigarettes causes elephantiasis. It is also bad for your red bonnet and causes pains in the pinkie toe. When mice and dogs were exposed to crunchy cigarette smoke, they developed Little Red Riding Hood’s disease. Tobacco companies have put charcoal quilts on the ends of cigarettes, but they still spend millions of chalkboards advertising their festering product. If you smoke cigarettes, the tobacco will leave all kinds of tar and hairy bearded men in your lungs. This will make you cough and say, “Yikes!” Don’t smoke cigarettes. Remember, only sheer curtains smoke.
Sketchy said…
Medical science has discovered that smoking cigarettes causes toenail fungi. It is also bad for your human beatbox instruction blog and causes pains in the weird cracked callous on the back of my heel. When mice and dogs were exposed to unnavigatably cluttery cigarette smoke, they developed Nightstar the cat’s disease. Tobacco companies have put charcoal nonworking ballpoint pens that just keep getting stuck back in the drawer just in case they write next time on the ends of cigarettes, but they still spend millions of stacks of video games that will never be replayed but must be kept, why? Just in case - advertising their “This basement is a mess!” product. If you smoke cigarettes, the tobacco will leave all kinds of tar and unfinished projects in the basement in your lungs. This will make you cough and say, “Why do we have all this crap!” Don’t smoke cigarettes. Remember, only Costco size packs of toilet paper because you forgot you already had plenty and you got some just in case…twice… smoke.
Suzanne said…
Medical science has discovered that smoking cigarettes causes measles. It is also bad for your polka dot and causes pains in the armpit. When mice and dogs were exposed to red cigarette smoke, they developed Santa Claus’ disease. Tobacco companies have put charcoal bandaids on the ends of cigarettes, but they still spend millions of hiccups advertising their sticky product. If you smoke cigarettes, the tobacco will leave all kinds of tar and turtles in your lungs. This will make you cough and say, “Hallelujah!” Don’t smoke cigarettes. Remember, only ladybugs smoke.
Rachael said…
Medical science has discovered that smoking cigarettes causes foot in mouth disease. It is also bad for your melted crayon on the carpet and causes pains in the ingrown toenail. When mice and dogs were exposed to gangrene covered cigarette smoke, they developed Boogeyman’s disease. Tobacco companies have put charcoal tonsils on the ends of cigarettes, but they still spend millions of old ladies who can’t see while driving cars advertising their moldy product. If you smoke cigarettes, the tobacco will leave all kinds of tar and geese in your lungs. This will make you cough and say, “Aye Carumba!” Don’t smoke cigarettes. Remember, only all y’all’s moms smoke.
Jean Knee said…
Medical science has discovered that smoking cigarettes causes gangrene. It is also bad for your biggest green booger and causes pains in the armpit. When mice and dogs were exposed to exceedingly funky smelling cigarette smoke, they developed Crazy Tom Cruise’s disease. Tobacco companies have put charcoal garbanzo beans on the ends of cigarettes, but they still spend millions of fried chickens advertising their oozing product. If you smoke cigarettes, the tobacco will leave all kinds of tar and fermented apricots in your lungs. This will make you cough and say, “Crap!” Don’t smoke cigarettes. Remember, only tae kown do champions smoke.
ThornyTreeLady said…
Medical science has discovered that smoking cigarettes causes Jumping Frenchman of Maine Disorder. It is also bad for your Pokemon “PsyudoWoodo” Doll and causes pains in the uvula. When mice and dogs were exposed to inconsequential cigarette smoke, they developed Nicholas Cage’s disease. Tobacco companies have put charcoal Nikon cameras on the ends of cigarettes, but they still spend millions of Comic Con attendees advertising their uncongenial product. If you smoke cigarettes, the tobacco will leave all kinds of tar and Beach Boys tribute bands in your lungs. This will make you cough and say, “Holy Schnikies!” Don’t smoke cigarettes. Remember, only powerless batteries smoke.
Powerhouse said…
Medical science has discovered that smoking cigarettes causes cancer. It is also bad for your Pikachu and causes pains in the collar bone. When mice and dogs were exposed to stinky cigarette smoke, they developed my best friend Sam’s disease. Tobacco companies have put charcoal pens on the ends of cigarettes, but they still spend millions of campfires advertising their gross product. If you smoke cigarettes, the tobacco will leave all kinds of tar and zombies in your lungs. This will make you cough and say, “Holy Crap!” Don’t smoke cigarettes. Remember, only cute babies smoke.
Klin said…
Medical science has discovered that smoking cigarettes causes psoriasis. It is also bad for your Country Time Lemonade and causes pains in the skin tag hangy down thingy. When mice and dogs were exposed to foamy cigarette smoke, they developed Klin’s disease. Tobacco companies have put charcoal half-melted candles on the ends of cigarettes, but they still spend millions of worn-out flip flops advertising their mucusy product. If you smoke cigarettes, the tobacco will leave all kinds of tar and ridiculous movies in your lungs. This will make you cough and say, “What the Peaches and Cream!” Don’t smoke cigarettes. Remember, only smelly boy shoes smoke.
Elasticwaistbandlady said…
Medical science has discovered that smoking cigarettes causes chronic crusty crotch rot. It is also bad for your Kelly Ripa voodoo doll and causes pains in the big fibbin fibber fibula. When mice and dogs were exposed to peeling like Chinese chef Pee-Ling cigarette smoke, they developed Engelbert Humperdinck And His Lips Of Wrath’s disease. Tobacco companies have put charcoal expired tubes of lube on the ends of cigarettes, but they still spend millions of giant bazonga chimichangas advertising their greasier than Greasy Bob’s greasy back product. If you smoke cigarettes, the tobacco will leave all kinds of tar and Wrinkly Chuck’s nunchucks in your lungs. This will make you cough and say, “I can’t believe I ate the whole thing!” Don’t smoke cigarettes. Remember, only Miss Haversham’s Spiderweb Cakes smoke.
Tori said…
Medical science has discovered that smoking cigarettes causes herpes. It is also bad for your ice and causes pains in the armpit. When mice and dogs were exposed to hairy cigarette smoke, they developed Tori’s disease. Tobacco companies have put charcoal cats on the ends of cigarettes, but they still spend millions of floors advertising their rotting product. If you smoke cigarettes, the tobacco will leave all kinds of tar and cactuses in your lungs. This will make you cough and say, “Holy Crap!” Don’t smoke cigarettes. Remember, only speakers smoke.
Mindyluwho said…
Medical science has discovered that smoking cigarettes causes elephantiasis. It is also bad for your red bonnet and causes pains in the pinkie toe. When mice and dogs were exposed to crunchy cigarette smoke, they developed Little Red Riding Hood’s disease. Tobacco companies have put charcoal quilts on the ends of cigarettes, but they still spend millions of chalkboards advertising their festering product. If you smoke cigarettes, the tobacco will leave all kinds of tar and hairy bearded men in your lungs. This will make you cough and say, “Yikes!” Don’t smoke cigarettes. Remember, only sheer curtains smoke.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)