Chinese Dinner

I recently had dinner at a new Chinese restaurant. The cooking is (adjective) and the service is (adjective). The owner of the restaurant, (celebrity), suggested that for my first course I have sweet and (adjective) spare ribs, which is a specialty of the (noun). They were (adjective). For the next course, I was served a/an (adjective) (noun) soup. The main course consisted of Egg Foo (noun), lobster in (food) sauce, and pressed (food). For dessert, I ordered those famous Chinese (noun) cookies with sliced (food). But whenever I eat Chinese food, an hour later I feel (adjective) again.

Millie's sister and brother-in-law said...
I recently had dinner at a new Chinese restaurant. The cooking is stout and muumuu-wearing and the service is fish face-resembling. The owner of the restaurant, Rodney Dangerfield, suggested that for my first course I have sweet and sloppy spare ribs, which is a specialty of the stub tail jewelry. They were extremely deep belly button-having. For the next course, I was served a poo-encrusted drool cup soup. The main course consisted of Egg Foo Pus-y Nipple Hair, lobster in dog salad sauce, and pressed fish taco. For dessert, I ordered those famous Chinese butt hair cookies with sliced hamburger jello. But whenever I eat Chinese food, an hour later I feel purple and dimpled again.

Heffalump said...
I recently had dinner at a new Chinese restaurant. The cooking is pansy-faced and the service is stray cat strutting. The owner of the restaurant, Elton John, suggested that for my first course I have sweet and swanky spare ribs, which is a specialty of the rainbow clown wig. They were wedgie-distributing. For the next course, I was served a politically incorrect gold tooth soup. The main course consisted of Egg Foo Watermelon, lobster in chicken chimichanga sauce, and pressed tapioca. For dessert, I ordered those famous Chinese urinal cookies with sliced smelt. But whenever I eat Chinese food, an hour later I feel bedazzled again.

Vacay

We're taking a break from Mad Libs this week. See you next Monday!

A Fable

Once upon a time there was a very curious girl who was always poking her nose into everybody's (plural noun). She kept company with a/an (adjective) man named (name of man in room), who was always buying her (adjective) presents. Once he gave her a diamond (noun) to wear on her (noun), and he bought her a/an (adjective) (noun) to wear in her (noun). Then one day he bought her a/an (adjective) horse. As soon as she saw the (adjective) animal, she began to examine it (adverb). First she looked at the horse's (noun), and then at its (noun). Then she opened its mouth so she could look at its (noun). At this, the horse became (adjective) and bit off her (noun).
MORAL: Never look a gift horse in the (noun).

Heffalump said...
Once upon a time there was a very curious girl who was always poking her nose into everybody's coconuts. She kept company with a death-defying man named Moondoggie, who was always buying her shark-infested presents. Once he gave her a diamond boogie board to wear on her lifeguard tower, and he bought her a tsunami-sized sand dollar to wear in her board shorts. Then one day he bought her a competitive horse. As soon as she saw the blue animal, she began to examine it swimmingly. First she looked at the horse's pineapple, and then at its roasted pig. Then she opened its mouth so she could look at its luau. At this, the horse became grass skirt-wearing and bit off her carnuba wax.
MORAL: Never look a gift horse in the Big Kahuna.

Millie said...
Once upon a time there was a very curious girl who was always poking her nose into everybody's kitty pants. She kept company with a whimsical man named Carl, who was always buying her rooster-obsessed presents. Once he gave her a diamond angry cockroach to wear on her pool noodle, and he bought her a clownlike, recently-swirlied freshman to wear in her hot buttered seduction on a stick. Then one day he bought her a goofily grinning horse. As soon as she saw the striped animal, she began to examine it momentarily. First she looked at the horse's crankjob, and then at its Costco addict. Then she opened its mouth so she could look at its pantyhose mask. At this, the horse became stripped of inhibition and bit off her breath mint.
MORAL: Never look a gift horse in the vacuum hose.

A Family Car Trip

KID: I'm starved, Mom. My (part of the body) is growling.
MOM: I think you've had enough (noun) food today. You ate enough to choke a (noun).
KID: But I'm a growing (noun). Dad, can we stop and get a hamburger with (plural noun) and (plural noun)?
DAD: You just had a/an (adjective) breakfast!
KID: No I didn't. All I had was a couple of scrambled (plural noun) and a glass of (liquid).
MOM: How about those five pieces of buttered (noun), plus that stack of (plural noun)?
KID: (Exclamation)! I have to go to the (noun) room. Can we stop? I have to go real (adjective)!
DAD: Okay. It'll give me a chance to stretch my (plural noun).
MOM: Stop at that diner. I can use a cup of strong (liquid).
KID: As long as we're stopping, can I have a grilled (noun) and some (adjective) fries? That'll hold me until lunch.

Millie said...
KID: I'm starved, Mom. My umbilicus is growling.
MOM: I think you've had enough Weinermobile food today. You ate enough to choke a disaster.
KID: But I'm a growing mudslinger. Dad, can we stop and get a hamburger with tiaras and beef jerky canisters that still smell like beef jerky?
DAD: You just had an injected-with-lard breakfast!
KID: No I didn't. All I had was a couple of scrambled Cub Scouts and a glass of spit.
MOM: How about those five pieces of buttered dew drop, plus that stack of bathroom tile?
KID: Heavens to Betsy! I have to go to the Crunchberry room. Can we stop? I have to go real befuddled!
DAD: Okay. It'll give me a chance to stretch my age spots.
MOM: Stop at that diner. I can use a cup of strong cantaloupe juice.
KID: As long as we're stopping, can I have a grilled disgruntled postal worker and some road rage-afflicted fries? That'll hold me until lunch.

Heffalump said...
KID: I'm starved, Mom. My clavicle is growling.
MOM: I think you've had enough cotton candy food today. You ate enough to choke a watermelon rind.
KID: But I'm a growing county fair. Dad, can we stop and get a hamburger with rodeo clowns and elephant ears?
DAD: You just had a fresh squeezed breakfast!
KID: No I didn't. All I had was a couple of scrambled tickets and a glass of funnel cake batter.
MOM: How about those five pieces of buttered Zipper, plus that stack of Sno-Cones?
KID: YeeHAW! I have to go to the corn on the cob room. Can we stop? I have to go real recently milked!
DAD: Okay. It'll give me a chance to stretch my vendors.
MOM: Stop at that diner. I can use a cup of strong sweat from a cowboy's brow.
KID: As long as we're stopping, can I have a grilled 4-H Club and some impossible to win fries? That'll hold me until lunch.