Congratulations to all of you (adjective) mothers and (adjective) fathers. You are about to give birth to a/an (noun). Remember, a happy child comes from a happy (noun). Undoubtedly, the (noun) will cause many changes in your life. You'll have to get up at four a.m. to give the little (noun) its bottle of (adjective) milk. Later, when he's (number) years old, he'll learn to walk and you'll hear the patter of little (plural noun) around the house. And in no time he'll be talking (adverb) and calling you his "(noun)" and "(noun)." It's no wonder they are called little bundles of (noun).
Millie said...
Congratulations to all of you pill-dependent mothers and stupid health care reform bill-passing fathers. You are about to give birth to an incredible stench. Remember, a happy child comes from a happy elasticity. Undoubtedly, the toe mark on the wall will cause many changes in your life. You'll have to get up at four a.m. to give the little cranky scorpion its bottle of unstable milk. Later, when he's 23 years old, he'll learn to walk and you'll hear the patter of little angry old men around the house. And in no time he'll be talking innuendo-ingly and calling you his "minced fish" and "Costco card with an ugly picture." It's no wonder they are called little bundles of tooth whitening kit.
Heffalump said...
Congratulations to all of you velociraptor-like mothers and herculean fathers. You are about to give birth to a chimp. Remember, a happy child comes from a happy chump. Undoubtedly, the champ will cause many changes in your life. You'll have to get up at four a.m. to give the little ape its bottle of swaggering milk. Later, when he's 27 years old, he'll learn to walk and you'll hear the patter of little haikus around the house. And in no time he'll be talking agonizingly and calling you his "grape" and "cape." It's no wonder they are called little bundles of tape.
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter said...
Congratulations to all of you destitute mothers and devoid of soul fathers. You are about to give birth to a wedding ring. Remember, a happy child comes from a happy speed bump. Undoubtedly, the Cadbury Mini Egg will cause many changes in your life. You'll have to get up at four a.m. to give the little ace bandage its bottle of asinine milk. Later, when he's 815 years old, he'll learn to walk and you'll hear the patter of little saltines around the house. And in no time he'll be talking redundantly and calling you his "pedometer" and "dull pencil." It's no wonder they are called little bundles of nanny-cam.
Friday, March 26, 2010
Friday, March 19, 2010
Quick Quiz
Who am I? I am a/an (adjective) American. I was born (number) years ago in (geographical location). When my father first saw me he said, "(Exclamation)!" I am (number) feet tall, have (adjective) brown eyes, and a/an (adjective) complexion. My hobby is collecting (plural noun). I always speak (adverb) and I have made several (adjective) motion pictures. I am married to (person's name), the well known Hollywood (noun). I have given away thousands of (plural noun) to charity. My most prominent physical characteristics are my (adjective) nose and my large (noun). Who am I?
ANSWER: I am (name of person in room).
Heffalump said...
Who am I? I am a happy American. I was born 7 years ago in Munchkinland. When my father first saw me he said, "Ding Dong the witch is dead!" I am 2 feet tall, have sleepy brown eyes, and a dopey complexion. My hobby is collecting flying monkeys. I always speak menacingly and I have made several grumpy motion pictures. I am married to Snow White, the well known Hollywood rabbit. I have given away thousands of evil stepmothers to charity. My most prominent physical characteristics are my bashful nose and my large gooseberry pie. Who am I?
ANSWER: I am Bertrand the Magnificent.
Klin said...
Who am I? I am a discombobulated American. I was born 1968 years ago in Uintah Mountains. When my father first saw me he said, "What the cabbage!" I am 43 feet tall, have super smelly brown eyes, and a higher than a kite complexion. My hobby is collecting diapers. I always speak forlornly and I have made several stingy remote control wielding motion pictures. I am married to Oprah, the well known Hollywood stylin' Corvette. I have given away thousands of investigations to charity. My most prominent physical characteristics are my painfully stubbed nose and my large rosary. Who am I?
ANSWER: I am Goob.
Millie said...
Who am I? I am a cop-mocking American. I was born 2378 years ago in Angry Beaver, Pennsylvania. When my father first saw me he said, "SHUT UP JOHNNY!" I am 872 feet tall, have itchy and snotty brown eyes, and a wrinkled beyond recognition complexion. My hobby is collecting major crankbutts. I always speak ignorantly and I have made several sot-inspiring motion pictures. I am married to Ack-Ack, the well known Hollywood shorts in a blender. I have given away thousands of happy onstage hippies to charity. My most prominent physical characteristics are my "oozing nice like a melted malted" nose and my large flatliner. Who am I?
ANSWER: I am Clumsy Clara.
ANSWER: I am (name of person in room).
Heffalump said...
Who am I? I am a happy American. I was born 7 years ago in Munchkinland. When my father first saw me he said, "Ding Dong the witch is dead!" I am 2 feet tall, have sleepy brown eyes, and a dopey complexion. My hobby is collecting flying monkeys. I always speak menacingly and I have made several grumpy motion pictures. I am married to Snow White, the well known Hollywood rabbit. I have given away thousands of evil stepmothers to charity. My most prominent physical characteristics are my bashful nose and my large gooseberry pie. Who am I?
ANSWER: I am Bertrand the Magnificent.
Klin said...
Who am I? I am a discombobulated American. I was born 1968 years ago in Uintah Mountains. When my father first saw me he said, "What the cabbage!" I am 43 feet tall, have super smelly brown eyes, and a higher than a kite complexion. My hobby is collecting diapers. I always speak forlornly and I have made several stingy remote control wielding motion pictures. I am married to Oprah, the well known Hollywood stylin' Corvette. I have given away thousands of investigations to charity. My most prominent physical characteristics are my painfully stubbed nose and my large rosary. Who am I?
ANSWER: I am Goob.
Millie said...
Who am I? I am a cop-mocking American. I was born 2378 years ago in Angry Beaver, Pennsylvania. When my father first saw me he said, "SHUT UP JOHNNY!" I am 872 feet tall, have itchy and snotty brown eyes, and a wrinkled beyond recognition complexion. My hobby is collecting major crankbutts. I always speak ignorantly and I have made several sot-inspiring motion pictures. I am married to Ack-Ack, the well known Hollywood shorts in a blender. I have given away thousands of happy onstage hippies to charity. My most prominent physical characteristics are my "oozing nice like a melted malted" nose and my large flatliner. Who am I?
ANSWER: I am Clumsy Clara.
Friday, March 12, 2010
Ireland
Happy Saint Patrick's Day next week
Ireland is a beautiful, green island lying directly west of (place). In 250 B.C., Ireland was inhabited by short, dark (plural noun) who were later called "Picts." They intermarried with (adjective) Vikings and with Celts who were (plural noun) from Northern Europe. In 1846, a blight ruined the (noun) crop in Ireland and over a million Irishmen migrated to the United States. Many of their descendants have become very important American (plural noun).
The Irish are noted for their poetry and songs. Some of these Irish songs are: "When Irish (plural noun) are Smiling," "Did Your (noun) Come From Ireland?" and "McNamara's (noun)."
Thousands of American tourists go to Ireland every year to visit its capital, (place), and buy Irish linen (plural noun), and see the beautiful (plural noun) and lakes.
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter said...
Ireland is a beautiful, green island lying directly west of Shangra-La. In 250 B.C., Ireland was inhabited by short, dark cans of hairspray who were later called "Picts." They intermarried with ubiquitous Vikings and with Celts who were boogers from Northern Europe. In 1846, a blight ruined the Self-Righteous and Holier-than-thou relatives crop in Ireland and over a million Irishmen migrated to the United States. Many of their descendants have become very important American wads of chewed gum found underneath your school desk.
The Irish are noted for their poetry and songs. Some of these Irish songs are: "When Irish Birthday Balloons are Smiling," "Did Your Sandra Bullock Come From Ireland?" and "McNamara's Racing Horse."
Thousands of American tourists go to Ireland every year to visit its capital, Munchkin City, and buy Irish linen pennies, and see the beautiful cell phones and lakes.
Heffalump said...
Ireland is a beautiful, green island lying directly west of Dracula's ancestral home. In 250 B.C., Ireland was inhabited by short, dark identical triplets whose parents tell them apart by painting their toenails different colors, who were later called "Picts." They intermarried with environmentally friendly Vikings and with Celts who were illegally downloaded Weird Al songs from Northern Europe. In 1846, a blight ruined the out of control Yugo crop in Ireland and over a million Irishmen migrated to the United States. Many of their descendants have become very important American Cannibal Chimpanzees from the Planet Earth DVDs.
The Irish are noted for their poetry and songs. Some of these Irish songs are: "When Irish Idiots Who Don't Know How to Use Their Turn Signals are Smiling," "Did Your Suburb Come From Ireland?" and "McNamara's Washable Marker."
Thousands of American tourists go to Ireland every year to visit its capital, the women's restroom in the Space Needle, and buy Irish linen mimes whose black and white striped shirts accidentally got washed with a red sock, and see the beautiful chips that have been double dipped, and lakes.
Millie said...
Ireland is a beautiful, green island lying directly west of Poison Spider, Wyoming. In 250 B.C., Ireland was inhabited by short, dark purposeful trippers who were later called "Picts." They intermarried with caught in the gears of a combine Vikings and with Celts who were drug mules from Northern Europe. In 1846, a blight ruined the Tourette's syndrome crop in Ireland and over a million Irishmen migrated to the United States. Many of their descendants have become very important American people who shave all their hair off.
The Irish are noted for their poetry and songs. Some of these Irish songs are: "When Irish Rejected and Disgruntled Belly-button-whistle Dancers are Smiling," "Did Your Cottage Cheese Glob Come From Ireland?" and "McNamara's Cat in Heat."
Thousands of American tourists go to Ireland every year to visit its capital, Sandusky, Ohio, and buy Irish linen cough spittle victims, and see the beautiful dog leg prostheses and lakes.
Ireland is a beautiful, green island lying directly west of (place). In 250 B.C., Ireland was inhabited by short, dark (plural noun) who were later called "Picts." They intermarried with (adjective) Vikings and with Celts who were (plural noun) from Northern Europe. In 1846, a blight ruined the (noun) crop in Ireland and over a million Irishmen migrated to the United States. Many of their descendants have become very important American (plural noun).
The Irish are noted for their poetry and songs. Some of these Irish songs are: "When Irish (plural noun) are Smiling," "Did Your (noun) Come From Ireland?" and "McNamara's (noun)."
Thousands of American tourists go to Ireland every year to visit its capital, (place), and buy Irish linen (plural noun), and see the beautiful (plural noun) and lakes.
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter said...
Ireland is a beautiful, green island lying directly west of Shangra-La. In 250 B.C., Ireland was inhabited by short, dark cans of hairspray who were later called "Picts." They intermarried with ubiquitous Vikings and with Celts who were boogers from Northern Europe. In 1846, a blight ruined the Self-Righteous and Holier-than-thou relatives crop in Ireland and over a million Irishmen migrated to the United States. Many of their descendants have become very important American wads of chewed gum found underneath your school desk.
The Irish are noted for their poetry and songs. Some of these Irish songs are: "When Irish Birthday Balloons are Smiling," "Did Your Sandra Bullock Come From Ireland?" and "McNamara's Racing Horse."
Thousands of American tourists go to Ireland every year to visit its capital, Munchkin City, and buy Irish linen pennies, and see the beautiful cell phones and lakes.
Heffalump said...
Ireland is a beautiful, green island lying directly west of Dracula's ancestral home. In 250 B.C., Ireland was inhabited by short, dark identical triplets whose parents tell them apart by painting their toenails different colors, who were later called "Picts." They intermarried with environmentally friendly Vikings and with Celts who were illegally downloaded Weird Al songs from Northern Europe. In 1846, a blight ruined the out of control Yugo crop in Ireland and over a million Irishmen migrated to the United States. Many of their descendants have become very important American Cannibal Chimpanzees from the Planet Earth DVDs.
The Irish are noted for their poetry and songs. Some of these Irish songs are: "When Irish Idiots Who Don't Know How to Use Their Turn Signals are Smiling," "Did Your Suburb Come From Ireland?" and "McNamara's Washable Marker."
Thousands of American tourists go to Ireland every year to visit its capital, the women's restroom in the Space Needle, and buy Irish linen mimes whose black and white striped shirts accidentally got washed with a red sock, and see the beautiful chips that have been double dipped, and lakes.
Millie said...
Ireland is a beautiful, green island lying directly west of Poison Spider, Wyoming. In 250 B.C., Ireland was inhabited by short, dark purposeful trippers who were later called "Picts." They intermarried with caught in the gears of a combine Vikings and with Celts who were drug mules from Northern Europe. In 1846, a blight ruined the Tourette's syndrome crop in Ireland and over a million Irishmen migrated to the United States. Many of their descendants have become very important American people who shave all their hair off.
The Irish are noted for their poetry and songs. Some of these Irish songs are: "When Irish Rejected and Disgruntled Belly-button-whistle Dancers are Smiling," "Did Your Cottage Cheese Glob Come From Ireland?" and "McNamara's Cat in Heat."
Thousands of American tourists go to Ireland every year to visit its capital, Sandusky, Ohio, and buy Irish linen cough spittle victims, and see the beautiful dog leg prostheses and lakes.
Friday, March 5, 2010
Advertisement for a Cruise Ship
Come aboard the famous cruise ship, "Love (noun)." Your vacation will stretch from the land of the midnight (noun) to the sunny (plural noun) of the Mediterranean. You and your (plural noun) will stay in a luxurious private (a receptacle). You will dine in (adjective) surroundings in our magnificent banquet hall on the (noun) deck. Every night there will be entertainment by (person's name) and his/her musical (plural noun). The (adjective) cruise will visit the island port of (a city) and then go along the coast of (a place). We will drop (noun) in (a city) and spend all day (verb ending in ING). You can live (adverb) and all for only 120 (plural noun) a day, plus tax.
Klin said...
Come aboard the famous cruise ship, "Love Mechanical Masterpiece." Your vacation will stretch from the land of the midnight pepperoni pizza to the sunny dog poops of the Mediterranean. You and your Canadian geese will stay in a luxurious private Kerr quart jar. You will dine in freshly shaven surroundings in our magnificent banquet hall on the Wii Fit Console deck. Every night there will be entertainment by Kevin Bacon and his musical silly cones. The lung hucking cruise will visit the island port of Santaquin and then go along the coast of Bulgaria. We will drop retro kitchen in Orlando and spend all day dancing. You can live scrumptiously and all for only 120 Spaghettios a day, plus tax.
Millie said...
Come aboard the famous cruise ship, "Love iTunes card spent on nothing but Gladys Knight & The Pips." Your vacation will stretch from the land of the midnight tossed dwarf to the sunny lifestyle-enhancing underwear of the Mediterranean. You and your bran flakes will stay in a luxurious private measuring cup. You will dine in sugared up and slap-happy surroundings in our magnificent banquet hall on the errant glass eyeball deck. Every night there will be entertainment by Karen Carpenter and her musical dried refrigerator drips. The chicken-resembling cruise will visit the island port of Lisbon and then go along the coast of Rentown, USA. We will drop male pattern baldness in Suva and spend all day expostulating. You can live fish-eye-givingly and all for only 120 cookie monsters a day, plus tax.
Klin said...
Come aboard the famous cruise ship, "Love Mechanical Masterpiece." Your vacation will stretch from the land of the midnight pepperoni pizza to the sunny dog poops of the Mediterranean. You and your Canadian geese will stay in a luxurious private Kerr quart jar. You will dine in freshly shaven surroundings in our magnificent banquet hall on the Wii Fit Console deck. Every night there will be entertainment by Kevin Bacon and his musical silly cones. The lung hucking cruise will visit the island port of Santaquin and then go along the coast of Bulgaria. We will drop retro kitchen in Orlando and spend all day dancing. You can live scrumptiously and all for only 120 Spaghettios a day, plus tax.
Millie said...
Come aboard the famous cruise ship, "Love iTunes card spent on nothing but Gladys Knight & The Pips." Your vacation will stretch from the land of the midnight tossed dwarf to the sunny lifestyle-enhancing underwear of the Mediterranean. You and your bran flakes will stay in a luxurious private measuring cup. You will dine in sugared up and slap-happy surroundings in our magnificent banquet hall on the errant glass eyeball deck. Every night there will be entertainment by Karen Carpenter and her musical dried refrigerator drips. The chicken-resembling cruise will visit the island port of Lisbon and then go along the coast of Rentown, USA. We will drop male pattern baldness in Suva and spend all day expostulating. You can live fish-eye-givingly and all for only 120 cookie monsters a day, plus tax.
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