Ghost Story

Once there was a little kid who went on a/an (adjective) hike through a/an (adjective) forest in the middle of (a place). At first he had fun watching the cute little (animal, plural) go (verb ending in ING) through the trees and talking to the (plural noun) that dodged between the bushes. Then it began to get (adjective) and soon it was night and this kid whose name was (person in room) realized he was lost and he got very frightened. His (plural noun) began to chatter and he wished he were home with his daddy and (noun). Suddenly he noticed that the huge trees began to look like (plural noun), and they seemed to reach out their (plural noun) to grab him. Then he saw a weird shape floating in the air and glowing (adverb). It made a scary noise and said, "I am the spirit of the last of the (someone's last name - plural). I am lonely haunting this forest alone and I came to find some (noun) to help me." Then it went (a silly noise) and the kid said (a silly noise) and that was the last anyone ever heard of him. Boo!

Millie said...
Once there was a little kid who went on a nonplussed hike through a hadda go baffroom forest in the middle of The Gorge. At first he had fun watching the cute little meerkats go slobbering through the trees and talking to the handlebar mustache convention goers that dodged between the bushes. Then it began to get Carmex-addicted and soon it was night and this kid whose name was The Stalker realized he was lost and he got very frightened. His hand-up-armpitters began to chatter and he wished he were home with his daddy and snot rocket. Suddenly he noticed that the huge trees began to look like yowling computer-deprived 10-year-olds, and they seemed to reach out their cheese gratings to grab him. Then he saw a weird shape floating in the air and glowing scratch-and-sniffingly. It made a scary noise and said, "I am the spirit of the last of the Terwilligers. I am lonely haunting this forest alone and I came to find some Birkenstock to help me." Then it went "howeeeeeee" and the kid said "rodda rodda" and that was the last anyone ever heard of him. Boo!

Thorny Tree Lady said...
Once there was a little kid who went on a smells like Teen Spirit hike through a wrinkled like an apple that's been left in the sun for three days forest in the middle of The Land of Oz. At first he had fun watching the cute little seahorses go frying through the trees and talking to the Adam Lambert groupies that dodged between the bushes. Then it began to get snifftastic and soon it was night and this kid whose name was Sarah Palin realized he was lost and he got very frightened. His Facebook Junkies began to chatter and he wished he were home with his daddy and wooden mallard with a listening device implanted in the bottom. Suddenly he noticed that the huge trees began to look like roasted pumpkin seeds, and they seemed to reach out their diamond rings to grab him. Then he saw a weird shape floating in the air and glowing effortlessly. It made a scary noise and said, "I am the spirit of the last of the Halperts. I am lonely haunting this forest alone and I came to find some sublight engine that powers a star cruiser to help me." Then it went "Frank and Beans" and the kid said "fwatahfwatahfwatah!" and that was the last anyone ever heard of him. Boo!

Dave said... (YAY!)
Once there was a little kid who went on a resounding hike through a blackened forest in the middle of the cemetery. At first he had fun watching the cute little spiders go mystifying through the trees and talking to the shoes that dodged between the bushes. Then it began to get tipsy and soon it was night and this kid whose name was Santa realized he was lost and he got very frightened. His snowflakes began to chatter and he wished he were home with his daddy and chocolate. Suddenly he noticed that the huge trees began to look like car tires, and they seemed to reach out their pumpkins to grab him. Then he saw a weird shape floating in the air and glowing frolicly. It made a scary noise and said, "I am the spirit of the last of the Bonapartes. I am lonely haunting this forest alone and I came to find some iPod to help me." Then it went "schwoo" and the kid said "boing" and that was the last anyone ever heard of him. Boo!

Heffalump said...
Once there was a little kid who went on a sticky hike through a gravity-defying forest in the middle of Munchkinland. At first he had fun watching the cute little Tasmanian Devils go questing through the trees and talking to the baboons that dodged between the bushes. Then it began to get disco inspired and soon it was night and this kid whose name was Spectral Plane Barbie realized he was lost and he got very frightened. His milkmen began to chatter and he wished he were home with his daddy and minivan. Suddenly he noticed that the huge trees began to look like taser victims, and they seemed to reach out their mountainous regions to grab him. Then he saw a weird shape floating in the air and glowing stunningly. It made a scary noise and said, "I am the spirit of the last of the DeFazios. I am lonely haunting this forest alone and I came to find some cab driver to help me." Then it went "Tapocketapocketapocketa" and the kid said "Schwiiiiing!" and that was the last anyone ever heard of him. Boo!

Klin said...
Once there was a little kid who went on a spoiled rotten hike through a fast and furious forest in the middle of the Grand Canyon. At first he had fun watching the cute little ferrets go parachuting through the trees and talking to the too many questions that dodged between the bushes. Then it began to get greasy slimy gopher gut like and soon it was night and this kid whose name was Sassy realized he was lost and he got very frightened. His scary Halloween decorations began to chatter and he wished he were home with his daddy and fabuloso scanner. Suddenly he noticed that the huge trees began to look like freaking stacks of homework, and they seemed to reach out their pots and pots of chili to grab him. Then he saw a weird shape floating in the air and glowing forever and ever. It made a scary noise and said, "I am the spirit of the last of the Derkshires. I am lonely haunting this forest alone and I came to find some dancing skeleton to help me." Then it went "blink-blink" and the kid said "Ba-dump-ump" and that was the last anyone ever heard of him. Boo!

The High School Monster #1

NARRATOR: Our scene is in a/an (adjective) high school in (name of town). The students are (adjective) with fear. Listen as our heroine, (girl in room), speaks to (boy in room).
GIRL: The High School Monster has eaten three more pretty young (plural noun) and boiled the (noun) teacher.
BOY: Don't be afraid, (pet name). I think the monster is really just a (noun).
GIRL: But (a person) saw it. It has (a number) arms and long (adjective) hair and (a color) teeth.
BOY: Hmm. That sounds like (someone in room).
GIRL: When I go out I walk very (adverb).
BOY: I am going to set a trap for this so-called monster. And you must be the (adjective) bait.
GIRL: Oh no! Do I look (adjective)? Get some other (noun).

Millie said...
NARRATOR: Our scene is in an earwig-resembling high school in Dripville. The students are florentine with fear. Listen as our heroine, Sister Mary Robert, speaks to Father Lorenzo.
GIRL: The High School Monster has eaten three more pretty young shrimp and boiled the homely Great Dane teacher.
BOY: Don't be afraid, Puppy Wuppy Wuver. I think the monster is really just a spatula from Spatula City.
GIRL: But Fred from Accounting saw it. It has 2376 arms and long, sticky with corn syrup hair and mauve teeth.
BOY: Hmm. That sounds like your mother.
GIRL: When I go out I walk very slip-showingly.
BOY: I am going to set a trap for this so-called monster. And you must be the cigar-smoking bait.
GIRL: Oh no! Do I look slapped silly? Get some other great and confusing stench.

Heffalump said...
NARRATOR: Our scene is in a stuffed high school in Hammond. The students are dripping with butter in fear. Listen as our heroine, my imaginary friend Helga, speaks to her imaginary husband Sven.
GIRL: The High School Monster has eaten three more pretty young cranberries and boiled the turkey teacher.
BOY: Don't be afraid, Love muffins. I think the monster is really just stuffing.
GIRL: But Betty Crocker saw it. It has 87 arms and long basted hair and orange teeth.
BOY: Hmm. That sounds like our imaginary son Bjorn.
GIRL: When I go out I walk very enthusiastically.
BOY: I am going to set a trap for this so-called monster. And you must be the mashed bait.
GIRL: Oh no! Do I look covered in whipping cream? Get some other Thanksgiving dinner.

Thorny Tree Lady said...
NARRATOR: Our scene is in a freaky high school in Funk, NE. The students are funky with fear. Listen as our heroine, Kate Gosselin, speaks to Balloon Boy.
GIRL: The High School Monster has eaten three more pretty young Visiting Teachers who can't get the hint it's time to leave, and boiled the sippy cup full of rotten milk teacher.
BOY: Don't be afraid, Schmoopie. I think the monster is really just a social media junkie.
GIRL: But The Rock Obama saw it. It has 8,675,309 arms and long spunky hair and vomit brown teeth.
BOY: Hmm. That sounds like Santa Claus.
GIRL: When I go out I walk very inadverdently.
BOY: I am going to set a trap for this so-called monster. And you must be the hairy as a gorilla bait.
GIRL: Oh no! Do I look pancakey? Get some other annoying alarm clock.

Randi said... (WELCOME!!)
NARRATOR: Our scene is in a pungent high school in Aspen. The students are nostalgic with fear. Listen as our heroine, Madonna, speaks to Spiderman.
GIRL: The High School Monster has eaten three more pretty young tackle dummies and boiled the idiot teacher.
BOY: Don't be afraid, Sugarlips. I think the monster is really just a sack of kittens.
GIRL: But Frankie Valli saw it. It has 2 arms and long ruddy hair and magenta teeth.
BOY: Hmm. That sounds like my husband.
GIRL: When I go out I walk very unfortunately.
BOY: I am going to set a trap for this so-called monster. And you must be the white bait.
GIRL: Oh no! Do I look spicy? Get some other mailbox.

Klin said...
NARRATOR: Our scene is in a freakishly frightful high school in Shelby, Nebraska. The students are decadent with fear. Listen as our heroine, Raja, speaks to L'il Red Monkey.
GIRL: The High School Monster has eaten three more pretty young gravy covered biscuits and boiled the keeping me toasty warm jacket teacher.
BOY: Don't be afraid, My Monkey Man! I think the monster is really just a laundry wielding boy.
GIRL: But the Weather Man saw it. It has 8765 arms and long dork like hair and cobalt blue teeth.
BOY: Hmm. That sounds like Jaguar.
GIRL: When I go out I walk very ferociously.
BOY: I am going to set a trap for this so-called monster. And you must be the bouncy little bait.
GIRL: Oh no! Do I look sharp & swift like? Get some other ballet dancer.

Dave said...
NARRATOR: Our scene is in a happy high school in Awesome City. The students are smoky with fear. Listen as our heroine, Beyonce, speaks to Glenn Beck.
GIRL: The High School Monster has eaten three more pretty young Anti-Gore-Obama-ites and boiled the turnip teacher.
BOY: Don't be afraid, Monkey. I think the monster is really just jet-engine exhaust.
GIRL: But the toilet-bowl-freshener restocker saw it. It has eleventy arms and long ginormous hair and light green teeth with gentle magenta swirls.
BOY: Hmm. That sounds like Ludwig von Beethoven.
GIRL: When I go out I walk very lazily.
BOY: I am going to set a trap for this so-called monster. And you must be the frilly bait.
GIRL: Oh no! Do I look second-best? Get some other opium pipe.

Stacey said...
NARRATOR: Our scene is in a curved high school in Springfield. The students are delightful with fear. Listen as our heroine, Tabitha, speaks to Oswald.
GIRL: The High School Monster has eaten three more pretty young monkeys and boiled the table teacher.
BOY: Don't be afraid, Snugglebutt. I think the monster is really just a Dallas Cowboy.
GIRL: But Steve Carell saw it. It has 30 arms and long magnificent hair and electric blue teeth.
BOY: Hmm. That sounds like the teacher.
GIRL: When I go out I walk very boldly.
BOY: I am going to set a trap for this so-called monster. And you must be the purple bait.
GIRL: Oh no! Do I look itchy? Get some other swing.

Romantic Movie Blockbusters

~ Gone With the Wind, set during the (adjective) War, is the story of Scarlett O'Hara, a young, (adjective)-willed woman. She uses her feminine (plural noun) to win back her (noun), but in the process loses Rhett Butler, the only (noun) she ever loved. Most memorable line of dialogue: "Frankly, Scarlett, I don't give a/an (noun)."
~ Rick's Cafe in Casablanca is the meeting place for (plural noun) from war-torn (place). Rick sacrifices his love for Ilse when he helps her and her (noun) escape the Nazis. Most memorable line: "(Verb) it again, Sam."
~ Love Story is about two (noun) League students. They go through the trials and (plural nouns) experienced by all young (plural noun). Unfortunately, the ending will bring (plural noun) to your eyes. Most memorable line: "Love means never having to say you're (adjective)."

Heffalump said...
~ Gone With the Wind, set during the Red and Green War, is the story of Scarlett O'Hara, a young, Christmasy-willed woman. She uses her feminine reindeer to win back her Santa, but in the process loses Rhett Butler, the only Christmas tree glowing with lights she ever loved. Most memorable line of dialogue: "Frankly, Scarlett, I don't give a belly that shook like a bowl full of jelly."
~ Rick's Cafe in Casablanca is the meeting place for snowmen from the war-torn North Pole. Rick sacrifices his love for Ilse when he helps her and her plate of cookies escape the Nazis. Most memorable line: "Fly it again, Sam."
~ Love Story is about two Christmas Stocking League students. They go through the trials and candy canes experienced by all young gifts. Unfortunately, the ending will bring elves to your eyes. Most memorable line: "Love means never having to say you're soot-covered."

Millie said...
~ Gone With the Wind, set during the Wet and Mud-covered War, is the story of Scarlett O'Hara, a young, leaf-fluttering-willed woman. She uses her feminine angry nuns on the rampage to win back her meat cleaver, but in the process loses Rhett Butler, the only flagrant foul she ever loved. Most memorable line of dialogue: "Frankly, Scarlett, I don't give an eyeballer."
~ Rick's Cafe in Casablanca is the meeting place for plum splats from war-torn Leavitt's Furniture Store. Rick sacrifices his love for Ilse when he helps her and her pushbroom escape the Nazis. Most memorable line: "Mangle it again, Sam."
~ Love Story is about two Grandma-smeller League students. They go through the trials and chives experienced by all young drool drips. Unfortunately, the ending will bring abdominal muscles to your eyes. Most memorable line: "Love means never having to say you're cranky and skanky."

Klin said...
~ Gone With the Wind, set during the Swine Flu Sick Like War, is the story of Scarlett O'Hara, a young, bank robbing rich-willed woman. She uses her feminine faraway friends to win back her gallon of gasoline, but in the process loses Rhett Butler, the only mile of road she ever loved. Most memorable line of dialogue: "Frankly, Scarlett, I don't give a packed luggage."
~ Rick's Cafe in Casablanca is the meeting place for Nauvoo must see sites from war-torn Davenport, Iowa. Rick sacrifices his love for Ilse when he helps her and her Nobody escape the Nazis. Most memorable line: "Pack it again, Sam."
~ Love Story is about two Bubsmoe League students. They go through the trials and yummy travel snacks experienced by all young snoring kids. Unfortunately, the ending will bring lonely kitty cats to your eyes. Most memorable line: "Love means never having to say you're too excited to speak."

Fluffychicky said...
~ Gone With the Wind, set during the June Cleaver-ish War, is the story of Scarlett O'Hara, a young, playfully plucky-willed woman. She uses her feminine fearless vampire killers to win back Rip Torn’s crusty looking mug shot, but in the process loses Rhett Butler, the only tasty buffalo jerky she ever loved. Most memorable line of dialogue: "Frankly, Scarlett, I don't give an Old Man Jenkins – Winner of the Caribou County Longest Nose Hair Contest."
~ Rick's Cafe in Casablanca is the meeting place for rusty sporks from war-torn Her Royal Highness’s private privy. Rick sacrifices his love for Ilse when he helps her and The Ministry of Silly Walks escape the Nazis. Most memorable line: "Schlep it again, Sam."
~ Love Story is about two Captain Underpants the Waistband Warrior and his lesser known brother – Bobby Braless League students. They go through the trials and slap-happy nuns who love their rulers more than is “natural” experienced by all young die-hard roller derby fans. Unfortunately, the ending will bring members of “The Society of Hannibal Lecter Impersonators (except for that whole eating other people thing, because that is just sick and wrong)” to your eyes. Most memorable line: "Love means never having to say you're feet-stinky."

Thorny Tree Lady said...
~ Gone With the Wind, set during the Southern Fried War, is the story of Scarlett O'Hara, a young, completely immersed-willed woman. She uses her feminine pieces of pizza to win back her sweet nectar of life that is Dr Pepper, but in the process loses Rhett Butler, the only cold sore she ever loved. Most memorable line of dialogue: "Frankly, Scarlett, I don't give an origami swan."
~ Rick's Cafe in Casablanca is the meeting place for hot rollers from war-torn Alternate Universe Al Gore lives in where he is King of teh Internets and melting ice caps. Rick sacrifices his love for Ilse when he helps her and her ear infection escape the Nazis. Most memorable line: "Bake it again, Sam."
~ Love Story is about two Prematurely Moldy Jack-o-lantern League students. They go through the trials and Hershey's Kisses experienced by all young screams of delight. Unfortunately, the ending will bring postal workers to your eyes. Most memorable line: "Love means never having to say you're uncanny."

Recipe for an Upside-Down Cake

Here is a/an (adjective) recipe for an Upside-Down (noun). First, you preheat your (noun) to (number) degrees. Then take a stick of (noun) and melt it in a ten-inch (adjective) skillet over a very (adjective) flame. In a/an (adjective) bowl, (verb) granulated (noun) and flour, stirring the mixture (adverb). Add milk and (plural noun) and beat rapidly with an electric (noun). Bake until your (noun) is ready. After the cake cools, (verb) it from the (noun) and turn it upside-(adjective). Serve the cake warm with (verb, past tense) cream or small spoonfuls of (noun) on top.

Heffalump said...
Here is a pansy-faced recipe for an Upside-Down Gymnast. First, you preheat your cowboy to 17 degrees. Then take a stick of astronaut and melt it in a ten-inch yellow-bellied skillet over a very tight-wearing flame. In a pink polka-dotted bowl, swim upstream with granulated garbage truck driver and flour, stirring the mixture adroitly. Add milk and juggling balls and beat rapidly with an electric K-9 handler. Bake until your master of mediocrity is ready. After the cake cools, spawn it from the tall drink of water and turn it upside-neon. Serve the cake warm with sparkled cream or small spoonfuls of bicycle built for two on top.

Millie said...
Here is a slapped purple recipe for an Upside-Down Fronch Fry. First, you preheat your dippy anchorwoman to 73 degrees. Then take a stick of snake collector and melt it in a ten-inch fly-waving skillet over a very dead and crunchy flame. In an interestingly-shaped bowl, cavort with granulated two-yolk egg and flour, stirring the mixture spasmodically. Add milk and parade enthusiasts and beat rapidly with an electric katydid. Bake until your cow slurp is ready. After the cake cools, droop it from the coconut truffle and turn it upside-rotund and LOVING IT!. Serve the cake warm with cringed cream or small spoonfuls of armpit whisker on top.

Klin said...
Here is a purple recipe for an Upside-Down Coffee Table. First, you preheat your blankie to 987 degrees. Then take a stick of Iowa and melt it in a ten-inch angry skillet over a very funny flame. In a grumpy bowl, sweat granulated Illinois and flour, stirring the mixture adoringly. Add milk and dancers and beat rapidly with an electric purple people eater. Bake until your tracing paper is ready. After the cake cools, work it from the mmmm grapes and turn it upside-man-in-the-kitchen-cooking hot. Serve the cake warm with pushed cream or small spoonfuls of car on top.

Show and Tell

Today, I would like to show the class a/an (noun) I caught when I went (verb ending in ING) with my aunt. I had never fished before, but my aunt (adverb) taught me how to bait a hook with a/an (something alive) and then how to cast the (noun) into the (adjective) lake. I (verb) fishing!

My name is (person in room) and I would like to show the class this (adjective) (noun) from my mother's kitchen. My mother uses it every morning to fix my (something to eat). It is also useful if you are into (verb ending in ING) or if you want to slice up some (plural noun). If you want one, you can buy it at your local (noun) store for only (number) dollars.

Millie said...
Today, I would like to show the class some taco grease dripping down my arm I caught when I went concertina-playing with my aunt. I had never fished before, but my aunt resentfully taught me how to bait a hook with lichen and then how to cast the cranky and politically incorrect old geezer into the vengeful lake. I enchant fishing!

My name is The Head Honcho and I would like to show the class this pink and sparkly rat whisker crumb from my mother's kitchen. My mother uses it every morning to fix my crockpot pizza. It is also useful if you are into smacking or if you want to slice up some inflatable bra pillows. If you want one, you can buy it at your local zealous environmentalist store for only 238 dollars.

Klin said...
Today, I would like to show the class a hubba hubba hunk I caught when I went internet surfing with my aunt. I had never fished before, but my aunt stoically taught me how to bait a hook with the redwood forest and then how to cast the super hot bath water into the burning hot lake. I flatulate fishing!

My name is The Snoring Dog and I would like to show the class this traced fabuloso massage therapist from my mother's kitchen. My mother uses it every morning to fix my Alaskan King Crab legs. It is also useful if you are into peee uuuuuu dog farting or if you want to slice up some recipe books. If you want one, you can buy it at your local adorable BFF store for only 1 dollar.